After being whisked away to the Justice Building for short and teary goodbyes, we are shuffled onto the train headed to the Capitol. Few people came to see me, I guess I'm not that popular in town, or, they couldn't bear to see me go. Neither bothers me much. A few of my friends from school come in together, Terence who makes the nets I use and sees me on a daily basis to trade, came in and hugged me tightly, wished me good luck and left with tears in his eyes. We were never really close, but I think I'll miss him too. Though the most memorable and hurtful encounter was with Kirian. As soon as he opened the door, we ran to each other. For moments, we just stood there, holding onto the other. Then Kirian pulled back and stared me straight in the eyes, and spoke, almost harshly but I knew he was just trying to keep his voice level. "Okay, so Finnick's going to be your mentor, you've already got an advantage; he'll want to get you out. But you have to make sure you get a good training score to get sponsor's, train with every weapon so you have a chance with whatever you can get hold of. And make sure to…"
He went on, trying to say as much as he could within the time limit. I just nodded at first, but my mind kept swimming around everything he was saying, with everything happening so fast I just couldn't take more. "Okay I get it Kiri! Just stop! What, don't you think I can do this? You know I can fight, you know I can outsmart most of them! Just trust me and have faith in me that I'm gonna come back!" It just went downhill from there. We started yelling about stupid thing that happened in the past, idiotic things that I did, that makes him question my ability to survive. Then he blames himself, saying he should've volunteered to protect me.
At this I snap. "If you're so certain that I can't survive by myself, why didn't you volunteer then? Huh! If you care about me so much, then why, when we have so little time, do you only tell me what I can't do, and say I can't make it out by myself? You haven't even told me you loved me once!" Great, now I'm sobbing, I sink to the floor and bury my face in my hands. Kirian rushes over and raps his arms around me. Even though I try to push him off, he won't let go. Then the peace keepers open the door and say it's time to go. We pick ourselves up off the floor and embrace tightly, and then I pull away and stand straight and walk out the doors. I stop and turn as a thought pierces my mind. "It was Alice. Wasn't it. It always was, you still love her, that's why you can't say you love me." Alice died two years ago in the games. It was obvious they loved each other, it killed him, when she died. But after two years, he had said that she didn't matter anymore, that I mattered to him now. And I was stupid enough to have believed him. Kirian pulls my wrist and says he's sorry, that I couldn't understand. I shouldn't have said it, but I just looked at him and said, with no remorse in my voice; "No, you're not. If you were, you wouldn't have made me believe that you got over her, and that you loved me. But you did, and you're not sorry about it." With that I clambered onto the train without looking back.
I've decided it's for the best. That I don't need any distractions in the arena, that the quicker I forget about him, the better prepared for the arena I'll be. I don't want to be like the tributes from a few years ago. The game makers created a halo-graphic projector that made each tribute see they're family and friends being murdered by another tribute. Even though it would have been impossible to do that, living in different districts, most of the tributes had gone a little loopy and believed it. Once they all ended up in the same field, they had a battle that gave the opening "bloodbath" a run for its money.
No, from this point on, all that matters is winning. By means of whatever it takes. And most importantly, no more dangerous relationships, no getting close to anyone. Because the closer you are to someone, the harder it is for you to kill them, and the easier it is for them to kill you.