I'm not sure what brought it on, but I have the weirdest feeling that something awful has happened recently. I can't put my finger on it, but I can't seem to shake the feeling. On this boring hike up the hill to school, I start to anxiously search around for Kyon, which is actually really weird. He's never this early to school, but I can't help but feel worried for him, for some unknown reason. I haven't seen him since I told him off yesterday, but that's still no reason to worry so much.
When we were walking around town trying to find stuff to do, the moron appeared out of the blue, and scared the heck out of us. So, after yelling at him for what felt like half an hour, he decided to give up and go home. That was it... nothing bad happened after that or anything, so I don't know why this feeling continues to linger.
I arrive at the classroom moments later, dropping my bag lazily on the ground and falling back into my chair. After we left Kyon in the dust yesterday, he's probably going to be mad at me. As much as I hate to hear his whining, he had it coming, the jerk. I'm not just going to let him off so easy. If I'm going to measure up to the higher standards of the brigade leader's role, I'm going to have to have a firm hand in these matters.
After a while, some of the other students begin to arrive. Every one of them, almost, has a terrible look on their face, as if their dogs died or something, and the room is silent as death. It's really unsettling to see the laughter and noisy banter of the previous mornings turn into utter silence. I wonder what could've happened to make everyone change so drastically. Maybe I was right, and something bad DID happen. I wonder why I haven't heard about it yet. I watch the news very carefully, specifically for anything weird (usually it's just a bunch of bogus, but sometimes it's worthwhile), so it must not have been THAT big. But everyone looks awfully depressed about something. I'll ask Kyon about it when he gets here.
As the students start to flood into the room, I begin to grow restless with my eyes on the door when Kyon takes his sweet time to get here. Jeez, can't that idiot be more punctual? He's always late, even to the fun activities... It's as if there's just a rain cloud constantly over his head, and he just doesn't enjoy anything... Well, I call him late, but it's just an excuse to make him pay for our meals, because I usually don't bring any money. Honestly, I just ask everybody else to arrive at least 15 minutes early. And I don't bring any money because I can always rely on him to pay... b-besides, isn't it the gentlemanly thing for the guy to pay for the food anyways?
By now, even the teacher has shown up, and I have yet to see or hear frown or groan from Kyon. Man, he picked the absolute worst day to be sick. Even the teacher looks melancholic, and I don't even have any idea what happened. Ugh, I almost think it's a cruel irony for me to depend on him for this kind of thing so much... And also, the jerk made Koizumi pick up the bill yesterday! He wasn't there to be punished, so I had to ask Koizumi to pay. Poor guy, he didn't even get there last!
The day goes by quick enough, but there's still no sign of Kyon. I almost call his cell during our lunch break. The idiot has some nerve, not showing up to school when something big has happened that I don't know about. I've got a half a mind to slug him once he comes back. The idiot's probably sick or something... Next time he gets sick, he'd better come to school anyways so he can tell me he's sick! I can't believe he has the audacity not to inform the brigade chief about such things!
I head down to the club room at lightning speed, shoving the door open when I arrive. Mikuru does a frightened little hop, spilling the tea she was pouring into the table. She's adorable, but I have no time for that stuff. "Hey guys," I shout, "have you seen Kyon?! He hasn't shown up to class yet." Koizumi and Mikuru stare at me like I have two heads. "What, did someone scribble on my face?" I ask, covering my forehead.
"U-uh..." there were tears in Mikuru's eyes as she stuttered. "A-are you trying to joke with us?"
"If you are," Koizumi says quietly as he stares down at the table with the same sad look everyone else wears, "it's in very, very poor taste. I didn't expect something so despicable from you."
"What do you mean, am I trying to joke with you? Is he sick or something? If so, I don't see why it should be so startling, I mean how am I supposed to know-"
"Miss Suzumiya..." Koizumi says, furrowing his brow, "... he was in an accident yesterday. Don't you remember?" W-what...?
"What're you talking about? We just sent him home, and he was on his way, remember? And then... he just left. What, is this supposed to be a prank or something? If so, this is a terrible joke. Think of something better next time."
"I'm sorry," Koizumi narrows his eyes, "I would think it'd be hard to forget your friend dying in your arms."
What is he talking about...? A memory, not my own, hits me (hard) as he says this.
"Leave us alone, already, okay? We don't need you, so just get out of here!" I folded my arms, upturning my nose at him defiantly.
"Haruhi, you don't have any reason to be acting this way! I said I was sorry-"
"Sorry doesn't cut it! Now get out of the way." The light changed. And we missed our chance to cross the street and skip the traffic for the fourth time in a row. "Great, now we have to wait even longer, you idiot!"
"Hey, I'm sorry, but we have to talk," Kyon said, grabbing me by the shoulders.
"Get off of me!" I shouted, shoving him back. But he was persistent.
"No, I'm not going to let you stay mad at me. If you have a problem with me, then tell me about it! Avoiding the dilemma is just going to make it worse!"
"YOU are making it worse!" I yelled at him. "Now GET OFF!" I forced him backwards as hard as I could, causing him to tumble back into the street, and into the incoming traffic. A bus was heading straight for him. Time seemed to slow down as I realized what I'd just done. The driver tried to slow his vehicle, to dodge him. But by the time the bus started to slow, Kyon had already been hit. He was launched into the air, and hit the ground with a thud, rolling along the asphalt a few times before stopping to rest on his side.
Oh God... I thought, what have I done?
I bolted over to his motionless form, rolling him over to see his face. Blood escaped his mouth, and also stained his shirt around his midsection. He blinked once, twice, then said with a few grunts, "Har... u..." He looked like he was struggling to even breathe.
"Shut up," I said, "if it hurts, don't talk. Someone call an ambulance!" I shouted, water starting to sting my eyes. "Are you okay?" He shook his head slightly, looking as if he was trying to hold something in.
"I'm... not..."
"What did I tell you? Be quiet! I just needed a nod!" Yuki was on the phone with the hospital, asking for an ambulance. Soon, I started to hear sirens in the distance. "I'm so sorry," I said, unwillingly letting out a pathetic whimper. "This is all my fault..."
He tried to say something, but as soon as he opened his mouth, his eyes grew wide, and with a few coughs, blood started to gush from it, soiling my shirt. And with that, his head fell back, and the life in his eyes disappeared.
"Kyon?" I whispered, the tears starting to flood down to his chest. I stared into his dead eyes, trying to find some sort of... anything, in them. He didn't look bored, or annoyed, or angry, or happy, or sad, or scared. He wouldn't even look at me. There was nothing. He was gone.
"Kyon?!" I shouted, shaking him slightly, "you asshole! Don't even think about dying on me!" Those emotionless eyes haunted me, simply causing more tears to escape my own. I could hardly see anymore. Not only that, but my head felt fuzzy. He was... gone.
"I'm going to make you pay for our meals for the entire month! And- and I'll make you wear embarrassing outfits and walk around town in them! And... and..." There was no response. I bit my lip hard, until I tasted blood, and put a hand over his face. I couldn't look at them any longer... "You idiot..." I sobbed, closing his eyelids over those dead eyes. "You stupid, inconsiderate idiot... Please come back! I'm sorry, I was wrong! Just please come back..." There was nothing else to do, nothing else to say. He was... gone.
I stumble back, supporting myself on the door. "That's not... that's not what happened..." I shake my head over and over again, as if somehow that'll change the reality of things. "That's not what happened!"
Koizumi pauses, still staring blankly at the table in front of him. "You're reaction is even worse than I anticipated," he says abruptly, shaking his head. "You hated the event so terribly, it seems you chose to completely erase it from your memory. A rare phenomena, but the brain does some strange things sometimes." Koizumi looks worried. "Do you feel alright, Miss Suzumiya?"
"I'm fine, something's wrong with you guys! Yuki!" I look to the aforementioned girl, who in turn lowers her book and mechanically averts her emotionless gaze in my direction. Actually, she's kind of scary sometimes... "You remember it, don't you?!"
Yuki nods. "I recall that you forced our former brigade member into the designated path of a moving city bus, resulting in the two colliding; consequently, Kyon died of asphyxiation, rather than the blow itself, which is the reason you had a small allotment of time to speak with him. In other words, his lungs filled with blood, and deprived him of his much needed oxygen, causing him to drown in his own-"
"Stop!" I scream, shutting my eyes tightly and clamping my hands over my ears. "Please, stop!"
"Very well. Furthermore, I communicated with the hospital on my cellular device, and a team of paramedics arrived to recover his corpse. His funeral will take place on the 2nd of November, and I, along with the rest of the brigade members, are expected to participate."
"That's not true! Mikuru, you can't say that you believe this crap, right?" I ask, desperate for the answer I want to hear.
Mikuru looks at the floor, the tears in her eyes more than evident. "I... I was there, Miss Suzumiya. I saw it happen..."
"But that's NOT what happened! It was completely different!"
Koizumi sighs, and folds his arms. "Miss Suzumiya, I'm worried for you. Are you sure you're feeling well?" The idiot thinks I'm crazy... but I'm not! Something strange is going on! And usually, I'd be all for this type of thing, but this is just messed up!
Swallowing the lump stuck in my throat, I lift a hand, to confirm what I hoped wasn't true. To my distress, I feel a sharp pain as my finger brushes against my bottom lip. There's a cut.
No. That can't be what happened. They're just playing a prank on me. This is all fake. And I'll prove it, too.
I charge past everyone and burst out the door, ignoring their protests as I sprint down the halls. I don't have any idea where I'm going, but I have to go away from here. They're just confusing me. I know: I'll go to his house, barge into his room, and turn it inside out looking for him. He's going to be there, the idiot. Who the hell do they think they are, pulling a prank like this? How awful of them! I'm going to punish them all severely! Jeez, I can't believe they would have the gall to do something like this to me!
After quickly marching down that boring hill, I dash into Kyon's boring neighborhood, open his boring gate, walk up his boring porch steps, and give three loud knocks on his boring front door. His entire atmosphere is plagued by a virus of absolute boring, no wonder he's such a slouch! I bet if I was here long enough, I too would become like... Kyon... Ew, I'm shuddering just thinking about it...
I'm greeted by Kyon's little sister, who cautiously opens the door with frightened eyes. What's got her so rattled?
"Hey, you!" I say bending down to her level with a smile. "Remember me? I'm one of your brother's friends!" With a small gulp, she nods and opens the door a crack more, stepping out from behind it. "Is he home? I have a few things to discuss with him."
I can see her eyes kind of tear up as I finish. "U-um... Well... h-he was in an accident..."
"Ugh, you too?" I say folding my arms in disapproval. They got to her. I don't know how, but they got to her. She's quite the little actress, isn't she? Stifling a groan, I say, "Can you ask your parents to let me in?" With a reluctant nod, she shuts the door and leaves me waiting outside.
Even if she was acting, it looked a little too real. Maybe something did happen? But definitely not the way they said it did. That doesn't even make any sense... I don't remember any of that!
A few moments later, a middle-aged woman opens the door, looking... tired. Definitely Kyon's mom. He takes after his parents.
"Hello there," I say, with a quick bow, "You must be Kyon's mom, right?"
After a small grimace, she nods. "Yes, I am she. You are?"
"Haruhi Suzumiya," I exclaim with a smile, "you may have heard a thing or two about me."
"Yes, I am aware of who you are. I never had the opportunity to say anything, but I wanted to thank you for getting my son to do something instead of lying around all day. I could never get him to do anything..." she looks down at the floor with a sad smile. "Please, come inside." Although she acts politely, she still carries around that aura of dejection along with her, like everyone else. Makes me wonder...
"So," I ask, walking inside, "where is he right now? Did he get sick? He never said anything to me, so we were kind of wondering where he was at school."
As I say this, she just furrows her brow more and more. "What?" she finally says, after staring at me in confusion for a moment. "Miss Suzumiya, my son was in an accident, if you don't recall. I would think you should, since you were there with him!"
I pause for a moment. She said the exact same thing. I doubt his mother would joke about something like this.
"Wait a minute..." I put a hand up. "So you mean he's really... dead?"
She averts her sorrowful stare, looking as if she's trying to hold back tears as she bites her lip, and says, "Do you honestly not remember...?"
I swallow the lump in my throat. "May I go look into his room?" I murmur hesitantly.
She gives me a nod of confirmation, still looking at the ground, and gestures to the stairs. I look towards them, and now that I'm about to go do it, I really don't want to look into his room. What if he's not there? What if what they're saying is true? I don't think I want to find out. I wish I could just go home and wake up from this awful dream.
I take a step onto the stairwell, and I can hear my heartbeat as clear as a bell. I bet Kyon's mom can hear it too, as loud as it is. I slowly bring my foot up to the next step, and my heart begins to beat faster.
He can't be dead, he just can't be.
That's two steps.
There's no way. He's up here. They're only playing a prank.
Three steps.
What if they're not playing a prank? What if I go up, and he's not there?
Five steps.
No, I can't think like that! That's just inviting bad news! He's up there, I know he is!
Seven steps.
When I get up there, he's gonna have hell to pay! They really got me going from all this, as much as I hate to admit it!
Ten steps.
I'll punish him so severely, he'll get PTSD! I'll never forgive him for this one!
I conquer the last stair, letting out a huff as I do so. My heartbeat is in my ears now, beating a million times a minute. With a sudden burst of courage, I close the gap between me and his door, marching up with the highest of confidence. I firmly grab the handle and yank the door open.
And sitting there in front of me... is his bedroom. Nothing more.