Revenging Angel
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, save the plot.
AN: Just as a little warning, this is my angst outlet. So, don't be too disturbed. Also, I was very angsty and out of it when I was writing this chapter. I like it, but it might be a little weird.
I must rest now, even though I hate it. They never leave me alone, not even in my dreams. They're always there, waiting. I can't get rid of them! I can't do anything about them! The only way to get rid of them is to kill them. Which I'll do. I will kill them. I will.
Every night, it's the same nightmare. Not a single thing changes. I know it so well.
I've been having the nightmare for a year now. That's how long I've been hunting them.
I always am pushing open a huge wooden door in the side of a desert mountain. I don't like that place. It's so open and unprotected. They could see me and attack and there would be no avoiding it. No place to hide. I wouldn't get my revenge. I'd be killed. Or worse.
Yes, there is a fate worse than death. I dare not elaborate. I fear it. So much.
I walk down a hallway cut deep into the rocky walls. Doorways pass me on either side, but I pay them no mind. My feet will lead me to my destination.
They are near. I can sense them, even if I cannot see them. They lurk in these halls. In the rooms. In the walls. They're always there. They're always watching me. I cannot escape from them. No matter how I try, they're always there!
Finally, the hallway comes to an end. A door stands there. I push against the cool metal. It swings open silently. I enter the room.
It's completely white. The walls, the floor, the ceiling. All except for red stains on the other side of the room. A girl is chained there. Her arms hand, suspended by the chains. She is sitting on the floor, her head downcast.
She is completely naked, except for the blood covering her body. Midnight blue hair, long, midnight blue hair falls everywhere. It cascades over her shoulders, her back, pools on the ground. It too is stained with blood.
Her hair is the only thing that looks alive in the room. It glows starkly against the pale ivory skin, the crisp white walls, the crimson blood. The girl doesn't look alive. All her bones are visible against the pale skin. Her chest barely rises as she takes in breath.
The girl suddenly looks up. Blood stained bandages are wrapped around her eyes. What's visible of her face looks empty. Like a shell. She's already given up hope. There's nothing left of her inside.
The scary thing is, I think I know the girl. I don't how or why, but I know her. She's a half-forgotten memory. I know who she is, but just as I grasp the idea, I lose it. It's driving me insane.
I walk forward, to help the girl, when they enter the room. I know it's them without seeing them. Everything's so cold. My breath's catching in my lungs. They reach out and touch my shoulder. Just as I turn, to finally see their faces, I wake up.
I'm always covered in sweat after that nightmare. I wish I would stop having it.
But, wishes don't get you anywhere in life. Only actions get you somewhere. Goals are important. They are like plans for your actions. For, only through actions can a goal be reached. Goals make actions worthwhile.
My goal is what makes me do all the things I do.
I don't kill because I am bloodthirsty. I kill because they interfere with my goal. And nothing can stop me from reaching my goal. I must get my revenge. They deserve it. So much.
I can't really remember why I hate them so much. That's what scares me. I know they replaced my eyes, but I don't remember anything else. I only remember parts of my past. The only thing aside from them that I remember is my name: Hinata Hyuga. I want to remember what happened.
Maybe if I reach my goal, I'll remember. That's what I hope.
No. I must not hope. Hope is for the weak, the useless. The foolish. I am none of those things. I am strong, useful, and wise. I don't follow fate. I make my own future. I don't listen to anyone else's opinions except for my own. And that's what is important. I am independent. I don't need to lean on anyone else. I can stand on my own two feet and support myself.
I don't need help.
Sometimes, it's so hard being strong. Sometimes, the hurt is just so deep. I don't know why I'm hurting. It happened somewhere in my long-forgotten past. I want to know why it hurts so much. I want to know why my heart pains me so.
I don't spare it much thought. I can't. I can't afford to be distracted. I have to keep pressing on. I can't let my judgment get clouded. Nothing must stand in the way of my goal, including my own judgment. I eliminate anything and everything that stands in my way. That includes my own judgment and thoughts. My opinions. My being. If necessary, it will be eliminated.
It will be replaced over time. If necessary. Sometimes, everything might be better off without it or a replacement.
I adapt. It's necessary for my life. I must fulfill my goal. So much depends on it. My memories, my revenge. Even my life. Is it worth it? I certainly hope so. For, if I were to fail, I'd lose it all. And, it's more than just a game. It's my life. I'd lose me, if I were to fail.
I don't want to lose myself anymore than I already have.
AN: I love the last sentence. It's so simple, yet it sums up the whole chapter very well, in my opinion. This chapter was delving more into Hinata's psyche, since I felt that it needed to be explained more.