Chapter Two
It had been an hour and Sirius Black was purely tuckered out. He'd never worked so hard in his life! Running around and using his energy! It seemed blasphemous! To top it all off, he had lost the kid again…
"Nugget! Where'd you go my little piece of poultry?" Sirius called through the house. When he got to James and Lily's room, he only saw it fit to look under the bed. And so he did just that. He stuck his head and arms under the bed, a pretty close fit.
Suddenly he heard giggling from behind him and something was tapping on his bottom end. The strangest feeling of being on fire reached his backside. He yelped and attempted to stand, but found that this wasn't possible due to the whole 'stuck under a bed thing'.
When Sirius finally got out from under the bed, he gave the little baby Harry quite the glare. Harry, realizing that he may have made pafoo unhappy and might be in trouble, quickly said. "Shit!" and scurried from the room.
I'll just accio the kid, Sirius thought triumphantly. But soon, this idea was thrown from his head as he reached into his pocket and found his wand missing. So this is why my ass was on fire, he thought bitterly. He then dashed from the room to find that aggravating little demon child.
As Sirius walked from the room, his eyes widened and he had to duck quickly because Harry was riding that damn toy broom that James had bought him. I'll have to have a word with that man later, Sirius reflected. But right now he had to chase a toddler on a broomstick.
And so the chase went. Harry zoomed around the room, knocking over the knick-knacks as he went. Sirius, who was following him, may have knocked over a few objects on his own; and run into a couple of walls here and there. As each ornament crashed to the ground, he thought Lily is so going to kill me!
After quite some time, Harry crashed into a wall and fell to the floor. The look of shock passed over his face and Sirius knew what would come next.
"Oh, no… Please, just-just, Harry-doodle!" But he could hardly hear himself over the loud wail that Harry let out.
"Wah-AH!"
"No, no, no! This isn't happening. I must've… fallen asleep!" Sirius whacked himself on the forehead. "Dammit!" He clutched his forehead, whimpering in pain.
"Okay, okay, Harry. Calm down…" But little Harry was wailing too loudly to even hear Sirius. "Look at the funny face!" Sirius made a face that looked quite scary to the toddler and resulted in louder wails of despair.
Sirius suddenly realized that Harry's fall may have been painful! What if something was wrong and he had a broken bone. Oh no! I broke my godson! Lily's going to murder me, bury me, dig me up and murder me all over again!
He picked up Harry and ran. Maybe I'll flee the country. Me and my… well, I'll have to lie. Harry'll be my son now. I will make new names for us... I'll be… Alfonzo. And Harry will be… Alberto. And we'll move to Nebraska, Mexico!
It was quite clear that Sirius' thought process was off. Maybe that was due to the fact that he couldn't apparate anywhere because he still didn't have his wand. Or maybe it was the screaming baby in his ear.
And so Sirius simply ran. He'd only run a block or two when the answer to all of his problems folded out before his eyes. He ran into the hospital and yelled at one nurse, shoving the toddler into her arms. "Make it stop!"
The nurse seemed taken aback. "Oh my!" She yelled over Harry's screeching. "What happened?"
"He-he fell off of the… chandelier!" The nurse gave him a shocked look but proceeded to help Harry get to a doctor.
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Sirius sat in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, a nurse came out and approached Sirius. He noted that she was quite hot.
"Mr.…?"
"Black, Sirius Black." Sirius replied suavely. The nurse seemed flattered and batted her eyelashes.
"Well Mr. Black, your son…"
"Godson!" Sirius corrected. "I'm not married!" Sirius tried to make this seem quite clear.
"Oh," The nurse seemed please at this confirmation. "Well, your godson is fine. But we do have another problem."
"What is it? Oh god Lily'll kill me if anything is wrong with him!" Sirius began to fret.
"Nothing is wrong with the little boy. He's perfectly fine. However, we don't seem to have any hospital records of you or the child."
"Erm…" Sirius didn't see what a "hospital record" had to do with any of this. "Well, I suppose I'll just be off then. Where the little snicker doodle?"
The nurse raised her eyebrows. "Er, you don't seem to understand. Are you from around here?" She questioned.
"Yeah, I live right down the street." Sirius was under the impression that he was going to get laid tonight.
The nurse seemed flattered, but had to get on with her job. "Okay then, we can't let you leave until we give you a routine check-up and your shots…"
"Shots? You're going to shoot me? Isn't it bad enough that Lily's going to kill me and…"
"No, Mr. Black! We won't be using any guns on you." She smiled a genuine smile that Sirius simply melted at. "Just follow me Mr. Black."
"Okay." He followed the nurse closely, watching the way that her hips moved just that little off beat to her step…
"Here we are, Mr. Black. You're nurse will be in shortly." She left. She must be going to get changed into something more appropriate. Or maybe she's going to get some of her friends involved! Quite a pity James married… Sirius thought as he smiled to himself.
In a flash, the door was open and a huge woman stood in the doorway. "So you're the handsome bloke my daughter's in a fuss about." She let out some air in a way that clearly said 'I don't know what she sees in him'.
"You spit on me!" Sirius yelped.
"Oh shut up and stay still!" The massive woman moved around while shining a light into Sirius' ear and mouth. What purpose is this? Sirius thought. Is she discreetly checking me out?
"Ah! The light burns!" Sirius screamed.
"Oh be quiet!" She then took a hammer-like tool and began to bash Sirius' knees in.
"Ow! Ow!" Sirius said as his legs jerked.
"Reflexes perfect." She checked something off on a sheet of paper.
She then continued to place the blood pressure cuff around his upper arm. She placed the stethoscope on the cuff and placed the ear pieces in her ears. She then began to squeeze a round ball. Sirius could feel the blood be cut off from his arm. They were trying to kill him!
"No!" He tried to stand up but was punched back into the chair. Yes, punched! She must be prejudice because of his hold over her daughter.
"Sit and stay!" She barked at him. A few moments passed as the nurse scribbled something down on the sheet of paper and prepared something. When she walked back over Sirius' eyes widened with fright at the long pointy needle she was holding.
He leapt from his seat and made a mad dash for the door. Unfortunately for Sirius, the woman grabbed him and flung him down on the hospital bed. Sirius was thrashing as she stuck the needle into him.
"No! It burns! It burns!"
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"Here you are, Mr. Black. Have a nice day." A male said to him as he walked out with Harry in his arms and four bandages on his arm. Maybe if he wouldn't have moved around so much, she wouldn't have had to keep re-doing the "shot".
On the positive side, Harry was no longer crying, but happily sucking on a lollipop with a sticker worn proud upon his chest.
As Sirius made his way from the hospital as quickly as he could manage, his name was called from behind him. "Sirius!" He turned to see the hot nurse walking towards him. He shifted and his eyes darted. He wanted to be as far away from this place as possible.
"You know, I was thinking that maybe… you know, we could, er, go out for… dinner sometime?" She looked hopeful.
"And let you poison me again? I don't think so!" And with that Sirius began to run back to the house. The nurse watched him run with confusion and a dejected look upon her face. Then something clicked.
"Mom!" The girl groaned as she trudged back into the hospital.
12 reviews! Yay! So this time it will be 10 reviews for an update! Got it? Cool. I'm assuming that you can realize that this isn't JK finishing the tale for us, correct?