If you're reading this you've made it to the first chapter, well done. Not much to say other than this is a bit of a starting up chapter, to establish characters and the themes of what will happen. Hope you enjoy :)
Disclaimer: Shockingly, still not mine. Though I'm training to be a ninja so I can steal them without being caught.
Remus sat staring at the piece of parchment in front of him. His impassive face was as cold as marble ran through with lines of silver that were the only things left from his previous night's torture. Though you wouldn't guess it, Remus was the happiest and most excited he'd been for years.
This letter meant he was normal. This meant he could go to Hogwarts.
He rushed downstairs, a blur faster than any normal eleven year boy could move. He came to an abrupt halt that should have been impossible in front of the kitchen door and knocked lightly. He pushed the door open and looked round into the small white room where his mum and dad were cooking a large meal, he was always hungry during the full moon.
"Mum, Dad." Was all he said as he held up his letter to them, face still an unreadable mask. But his parents could see his jubilation in his slightly shaking hands and the way he didn't seem to be able to rest his weight on each foot for too long. They saw the sparkle in his honey coloured eyes that had once been grey.
"Well done Remus!" His mother cried, dropping the spoon she was holding and running across the room to throw her arms around her son. "I'm so proud of you! But we knew you'd get in, didn't we?" She turned to Lyall, hand on hip and expression warning.
"Of course we did Remus." His dad said from across the room as he thoughtfully placed a pan on the kitchen counter, though his expression implied that he had had his doubts.
"Well we'll have to go to Diagon Alley to get your things." Mused Remus' mother "How about this Saturday? We were going to go and see the neighbour's new baby but I think that can wait."
Remus felt relieved, he hadn't wanted to go and see the baby really though he would have gone out of politeness. He wanted to jump up and down and climb a tree and scream for joy, but he just couldn't let go. Couldn't go too wild for fear of waking the wolf up.
Anytime he used his extra strength or speed he felt sick from the reminder that he wasn't human. So he buried it. He could have been one of the top athletes at any school, but instead he chose to read and write. He took walks and thought about things. He learned and pondered and tested. He did everything a human could do that a wolf could not and it made him feel closer to being normal.
For a while, with his nose buried deep in a story, he could forget he was a monster who had be caged in burning silver each full moon. He wrote as well, slipping into the human thoughts and adventures of his characters and whilst he did, he was someone else.
Remus felt a moment of panic as he reread his letter. It had to be a mistake. Surely they wouldn't let anyone like him near other children? Why would they endanger everyone else like that? And what if it was meant for him? Mightn't he hurt someone? What is people found out? They'd riddle him with silver and set him on fire.
Pull yourself together. He thought savagely at himself as he treaded quietly back to his neatly kept room. You can't change what you are so stop it with the pathetic feeling sorry for yourself.
He huffed out a breath as he landed on his stomach on his bed. He resigned himself to the reaction of the others at school, but he'd just deal with it. He wouldn't let them know, he'd keep it his closest secret, even if it meant pushing people away. And if they did find out… well he'd deal with that when it came to it.
Remus ran a long fingered hand through his light brown hair as his other hand reached for an open copy of 'Magical drafts and potions' by Arsenius Jigger. He stopped reading after just a few words, realising that he would actually be able to study the subjects he'd been reading about, he would be indistinguishable from all the other normal children around him and he would learn to be a wizard, to lead a normal life.
The corners of Remus' mouth flickered upwards, and he continued reading.
Remus hid behind his father as they stepped into the street full of loud, busy people. They shouted to each other, at their children, at their pets and at their possessions in the case of a little witch whose books kept on trying to creep out of her bag and bite passing shoppers.
It was more noise than Remus had ever heard in his life. His father was a quiet person and his mother worked a lot and he hadn't seen so many people in one place for years. He frowned a little in concern as he thought how easy it would be to get lost somewhere like this.
They first made their way to Olivander's, which was the shop Remus was most looking forward to visiting. His parents went ahead of him and as he was about to follow them into the shop he was knocked aside by two boys coming out clutching wands of their own.
"Come on Sirius! Stop pretending yours is better. It looks like someone just picked it up off the floor and called it magical." Said a boy with messy black hair and glasses. He was grinning at the second boy.
"Shut up James! Yours looks like a girl's wand, all long and swishy. I bet it breaks as soon you try to cast a spell." The second boy, Sirius, had shaggy black hair that fell into his eyes. Remus stared at his almost rough face and thought that he'd never seen someone so beautiful in his life.
"Can you move please?" said the boy irritably. Remus realised that the demand was directed at him and stepped aside a little too quickly, tripping and falling. The boys laughed and walked away.
Remus picked himself up and walked into the shop, no longer excited but embarrassed and upset, though his impassive features gave nothing of this away.
"Young mister Lupin." Said a quiet voice that nevertheless seemed to fill the entire shop. "I have been waiting so long for your visit." A man who looked slightly faded stepped out from behind a stack of boxes. As he stepped towards Remus, the dust in the air seemed to part just because he willed it, flowing and dancing in a shaft of grey sunlight filtering through a grimy window.
"Hello." Remus said. He never knew what to say in normal circumstances, but this unsettling man made it several times worse.
"Good morning to you." Said the man, getting out a tape measure and commanding it to begin taking Remus' height, arm span and a variety of other things. Remus felt like there should have been more of an introduction but didn't care if it meant he could get out of this shop quicker.
"So you have come for a wand." The man stated. "And you have come to exactly the right place my dear boy. I am Mr Olivander, the most recent in a long line of wandmakers that stretches back hundreds of years."
The tape measure finished what it was doing and wound its way lazily to Mr Olivander's ear and whispered to him. At this Mr Olivander rubbed his hands and smiled almost hungrily. "A difficult one is it? Well I think we'll find the right one, if not for a while. "This last was said with relish as if he couldn't imagine anything more pleasant than spending hours finding the perfect wand.
"Start with this." He thrust a long wand into Remus' hands and before had much of a chance to feel it properly, the wand was gone and being replaced by another
He spent ten minutes going through hundreds of boxes, which made Mr Olivander extremely happy. He flitted around his shop, deftly collecting and replaces wands and boxes at a speed Remus could barely follow.
Finally the strange pale man put a wand into Remus' fingers that felt warm. It felt right. Just as hands were about to snatch it back from him Remus pulled away.
"Oh that one is it?" Mr Olivander chuckled, "Not what I expected but give it a wave and we'll see."
Remus brought the wand around himself in a confident line and little glowing, silver bubbles that popped into clouds followed the path his hand took. He was grinning like a fool as he raised the wand to his eyes.
"Very good! Splendid!" Mr Olivander exclaimed. "What you have there is Cypress and unicorn tail hair, a protective one that one. 10 ½ inches and nice and pliable. Good for defence and protection. Particularly for fighting demons both external and internal. "He scrutinised Remus "I hope you'll remember that."
Remus said he would, bringing his smile back under control. He paid Olivander the 5 galleons he owed and allowed himself to be hugged by both of his parents. He then asked whether they could go to Flourish and Blott's and so surprised were they that their monosyllabic son would say anything, they agreed and promised him two non-syllabus books for free, though he planned to buy more with his pocket money.
Remus went by himself to Madame Malkin's to look for cheap robes. His mother had needed to make an urgent floo call about work and his father had gone into Nocturne Alley to buy some replacement chains for his cage. He grown bigger over the past few months and his transformations were now causing the silver-alloy chains to bite too deeply into his wrists and legs.
The bell tinkled as he pushed the door open and went inside. There were several assistants walking about, looking busy. An old woman hobbled up to him and smiled at his toothily.
"Hogwarts dear?" She asked kindly. Remus nodded. "Come this way to get fitted then young man." Remus shook his head slightly and looked at his feet, tinging pink.
"Will you be wanting second hand ones then?" She said, patting his arm and causing him to jump. Remus nodded, still looking at his feet. "Right you are. Janice! Come here girl and take this young gentleman into the back."
A young girl seemed to appear at the Old woman's side in an instant. "Yes Madame. Come this way dear." Remus didn't feel like a 'dear'. Not when this girl couldn't be that much older than him. She was fifteen at the most. Nevertheless he trailed behind her through a veil of fur coats into a slightly cramped room stuffed with robes on every surface, including dangling from the ceiling.
"Just look around for something that fits and call me when you're ready to pay." Said Janice as she vanished in between two pairs of brightly coloured dress robes.
Remus began pawing through the various heaps and rails of robes, sneezing when puffs of dust rose from a particularly nasty looking mink scarf. He backed away slightly from it and bumped into someone.
He spun around, apology on his lips when he saw that the person he knocked was the shaggy haired boy from the wand shop. Remus locked his jaw shut, wanting to glare but not willing to draw attention to himself.
"Sorry." Said the boy, Sirius, Remus remembered. "Didn't see you there." He grinned and Remus stiffened. It was a canine grin, full of teeth. He half expected to see a tongue lolling out the side of this smile.
Remus muttered incoherently and moved away a little and began violently shuffling through robes at a lightening pace, wanting to find what he needed and go. Now.
"Hogwarts?" The grinning boy asked, moving along the rail to stand next to Remus, who just muttered something that sounded like "mphmrnmbl" and moved away again. This boy didn't recognise Remus from Olivander's, he realised.
"Me too." The boy said, taking Remus' mutters to mean yes. "I should really be out there with my friend James, but new robes would just make my parents too happy."
Remus felt a hot blush of shame. This boy was only in here to annoy his parents. He could afford better robes. Remus could not. He scowled at a very old scarf that mumbled "What did I do?" Sleepily.
"What house do you want to be in? I want to be in Gryffindor. My whole family is in Slytherin but I just don't think it suits me." He chuckled. "I can imagine my mother's face when she finds out."
Remus thought this boy could probably have a conversation in an empty room. He seemed to need no encouragement from Remus. Remus found it almost comforting. There was no pressure on him to make a reply, he could just listen.
"So are you here with your parents? I'm not here with mine." The boy pushed a few hairs away from his eyes as he laughed a warm chuckle. "They said that I could behave like a properly brought up Black, or go by myself. And obviously I wasn't going to pretend to be some stuck up pure blood was I?"
Remus didn't answer but the boy didn't seem to notice. "I think I'll change my name when I get old enough that should annoy mother. Something muggle would probably be best."
"You seem to really care what she thinks." Remus hadn't meant to say it. Wished he hadn't said it. Wished that even more when he saw the boy's thunderous expression.
"What?" The boy asked quietly.
"I-" Remus said, backing away slightly. This boy posed no threat to him, werewolf strength and reflexes could easily doge the fastest punch and give a faster one back. But Remus would die before using the monster inside him.
"You know nothing about it." The boy hissed. "Absolutely nothing." He took one step into Remus' personal space. "You'd better hope we don't meet at Hogwarts." He stormed out, leaving a ringing silence behind him.
Remus had already made a school enemy. Two if you counted the boy's friend. He felt like crying to told himself to stop being pathetic.
He looked around for about ten minutes until he found a set of robes that would fit him. He walked out and paid for them without a word.
Remus plopped down on his bed with a pile of packets after he and his parents had returned from getting his things. He was now the proud owner of all of the set book, five books that were not standard reading (including a copy of 'Hogwarts: A History'),his wonderful wand, all of his equipment and some comfortable second hand robes where you could barely see the patch-up job.
He began to open his books one by one, reverently placing them on his shelf next to the rest of his small collection. He mostly got books from the library, since his parents weren't incredibly wealthy and he could always go back to get them again if he wanted.
But the books he did own were his most prized possessions. He loved them like a parent loves a child and lavished care onto them so that they would never fade, never break from age. He'd asked his parents to learn anti-ageing charms just to protect his precious books.
Remus sighed as he sat down on the bed. It had been a tiring day and he just wanted to sleep. But he couldn't stop thinking about the boy. He'd been quite nice without his friend and before Remus had opened his stupid mouth and mentioned his family.
Remus decided that if he wasn't going to sleep, he might as well make a start on his school books. He pulled a random book down from his new selection, flipped the book open at its first page and began to read.
By the time he'd finished 'A history of magic' by Bathilda Bagshot Remus' eyes were drooping so he set it aside and closed his eyes. His last thought before falling asleep was of the shaggy haired boy who didn't like him.
Remus had spent the morning of September 1stwatching his parents panic, watching them drive and panic, watching the run through King's Cross panicking and finally watched them kiss him onto the train an hour early… still panicking.
Remus was sitting in the smallest compartment in the train, tucked away near the driver. His trunk was above him on a little shelf and he was talking through the open window with his Mother and Father.
"Now you will write to us won't you?" His mother was saying frantically. "We want to know how you're doing. And don't forget to check in with the headmaster." She looked around and leaned in, whispering. "The full moon is only a week away sweetie. I've sent the… things, to Professor Dumbledore so everything should be fine."
"If you need to come home at any time, just say." His father said, wringing his hands nervously. "We love you no matter what."
"Make plenty of friends." His mother was reaching a hand through the window with a chocolate frog box. "Eat this on the train, it'll make you feel better if you're nervous or worried."
"We don't care what house you're in." His father interjected. "Whatever's best for you." He looked like he was about to cry.
"Mum, Dad, I'll be fine." Remus said quietly. His parents looked a little taken aback, it was the first thing their son had said for a few days. Remus was not a big talker but usually he'd say something during a meal or when listening to the wizard wireless.
"Well ok then." Remus' mother said, choking up a little. "We have to go now. I have to be in the office in half an hour and your father has a meeting. We love you so much."
"Yes, don't forget that while you're away." Lyall was actually crying now. Salty tears left shining lines down his face that looked like pale, white scar tissue. "We'll see you at Christmas."
With a kiss on the cheek and a wave, his parents were gone. The steam coming from the top of the train stopped Remus watching them all the way to the platform gate. They vanished in a swirl of mist and Remus was alone. He thought he caught a flash of shaggy black hair and a scowl from the fog a little way from his window. Remus quickly pulled back and shuddered.
He tucked himself up in the corner next to the window and tried to read. But for the first time in a long time, he couldn't concentrate on a book. So instead he pulled out his wand, pointed it at the chocolate frog box and said "Wingardium Leviosa". He waved his wand in a swish and flick motion and the little box began to hover slightly above the seat. He grinned before quickly erasing the expression.
He was about to try another spell - he had a toothpick he thought he could turn into a needle - when the door to his compartment slid open and a head with long red hair and green eyes appeared.
"Do you mind if we sit in here?" Asked the girl. "There are empty compartments but there's only two of us so…?" She let her question trail off and Remus nodded jerkily and turned away.
"Thanks." She said with a big smile. "Sev!" She shouted down the carriage, "We're in here! I'm Lily by the way." She said turning back to Remus.
"Remus." Was all he said in reply. A boy with shoulder-length greasy hair followed Lily into the compartment and sat down.
"This is Severus." Lily said, indicating the boy. "Sev this is Remus."
"Good morning." Severus said quietly, not looking at Remus.
"Mmh." Remus said, terrified, wanting to bolt out of the door to a dark corner by himself.
"Sev, I can do it." Lily was hoisting her bag onto the overhead shelf and Severus was trying, and failing, to make her let him do it.
Lily sat down and turned to Remus. "So did you know about Hogwarts before your letter?" She asked "I'm a muggleborn but Sev here told me all about it."
"Yes." Remus said, "I'm a half-blood." He was feeling uncomfortable with the conversation but he reasoned that he'd have to get used to talking at some point if he was going to make any friends.
"So is Severus." Lily ignored her friend's scowl. "Have you read the set books yet?"
"Yes." Remus said, glad the topic was books, it would be easier to talk about books than heritage. "I've read them a few times."
"Really? Well it looks like I need to catch up." Lily said smiling.
The rest of the journey was spent mostly in silence as all three of them read, looked out the window and thought about what was awaiting them. They talked occasionally and though Remus never said more than a few words at a time and very rarely volunteered anything, he was having a good time. By the end of the trip he was sure that he had two friends at least.
His chocolate frog was left unopened in his bag.
Remus was sitting in slight shock next to Lily at the Gryffindor table. The hat had been thinking about Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff as well, though he wasn't ambitious enough for Slytherin. In the end he'd been surprised to be deemed brave enough for the lions.
Remus was scared of a lot of things. He was scared of crowds, loud noises, snakes, the full moon and the boy sitting two seats away from him on the other side of Lily. When he'd been walking over to the Gryffindor table, he hadn't the shaggy haired boy until he'd already sat next to Lily.
As he watched a girl, Mary, and a boy, Peter, had come to sit at the Gryffindor table. Then the shaggy haired boy's friend, James, was called up to the sorting hat. He sat on the chair, smirking and stood up almost straight away as the hat shouted "Gryffindor!"
Remus nearly groaned as he swaggered towards him. He walked past Remus and pushed his way in between Lily and the shaggy haired boy, almost knocking Lily off her seat.
"Watch it!" She hissed at him.
"Whoa! Sorry, Lily wasn't it?" The boy said with a charming smile.
"Evans to you." She spat, turning away. She caught Remus' gaze and rolled her eyes. "Prick." She mouthed.
Remus swallowed a small chuckle. The boy with glasses looked hurt, but was quickly laughing as his friend distracted him by doing an impression of McGonagall.
Remus moved slowly throughout dinner. He felt like he was immersed in transparent treacle. Everything was still clear, too bright and sharp, but everyone around him moved sluggishly. He was tired. He was overwhelmed. He just wanted to get out of this hall which was too full of talking teenagers.
"Mr Lupin?" Said a voice from behind him. Lupin turned around to see Professor Dumbledore standing behind him with a kind smile as he peered over his half-moon spectacles.
"Yes?" Remus said. "Professor." He added on quickly.
"If you'd like to follow me to my office. I believe we have things to discuss." Dumbledore said, gesturing to the door.
Remus got out of his seat, a sense of relief at being able to leave the hall washing over him. He followed the headmaster out of the hall and up to his office. All the way Dumbledore didn't say a word, just hummed contentedly to himself.
They reached a large statue that must have been the entrance to his office. Dumbledore said "Pear drop." Which seemed to be a password as the statue leapt aside and the made their way up a spiral staircase.
"Now." Said Dumbledore, seating himself behind his desk and tenting his fingers. "I have had a letter from your parents regarding your situation."
"Yes." Remus said. "They said they'd sent you the… necessary things." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"I have sent them back." Said Dumbledore, his expression darkening. "No student of mine will be chained and caged. Not for any reason in the world."
"But-" Remus had begun to panic. He needed those chains. That silver was the only thing keeping him from hurting others every single full moon.
"They are not needed." The headmaster interrupted calmly. "I have made arrangements for you to be situated in an abandoned house with only one way in and out. The doors, walls and windows will be reinforced and the entrance in is too small for even a werewolf puppy."
Remus felt a bit dubious. The werewolf was incredibly strong against even the firmest barriers. Dumbledore obviously saw Remus' worry and said I will cast the spells myself."
This reassured Remus, who had heard of the great Albus Dumbledore, most powerful wizard of the age.
"I must also tell one other person." The headmaster continued. "Madame Pomphrey, our nurse and healer, will have to patch you up after each transformation. She is vastly skilled and will be able to get you to your classes the next day."
Remus was shocked. After transforming he always felt beyond drained, he felt so bone weary that he was almost comatose for two days.
"You will see." Dumbledore said "Don't take my word for it. Now if you don't have any questions?" Remus shook his head. "Good, then off you trot to bed, he Gryffindor Dormitories are just around the corner behind the portrait of the Fat Lady and the password is Catullus Domum. Good night."
Remus thanked the headmaster and made his way out of his office.
Remus had almost reached the portrait of the fat lady, he could see her snoring gently in her frame down the corridor. Then a shadowy figure stepped out from behind a statue and grabbed him roughly by the front of his robes and pushed him, hard, against a wall.
"I bet you think you're so much better than me. I saw that fucking show at the platform well guess what? My family is richer than yours, it is older than yours and it is purer than-" The voice broke off in a gasp. "I didn't- I don't care about… I…. Just be careful."
The person leaned in until his face was inches from Remus' and fell into torch light. It was the boy from Diagon alley. "I could snap you like a twig." The boy growled. Remus winced at how wrong this boy was, if Remus let it, the wolf could tear this small year to shreds. "Scared are you? Good." The boy had mistaken Remus' reaction for fear.
Remus was released and fell to the floor as the boy stalked away, in the opposite direction to the common room. Remus wiped wet tears from his face that he hadn't shed.
Sirius: God that Remus is a prat insulting me like that.
Remus: *sighs* Just wait.
ToffeePrince: See, Remus has been reading ahead Sirius, why can't you?
Sirius: Read? Pfft! I don't have time. Too busy being cool.
Remus: Riiiiiight...
ToffeePrince: So anyway, I hope you liked it and will drop me a review. *grins* TTFN and all.
Sirius: Who are you talking to?
ToffeePrince: None of your business. Go to sleep!
Sirius: *grumblegrumble*
Remus: *whispers* he'scutewhenhedoesthat...
Sirius: What did you say?
ToffeePrince: Hahahaha nothing now shush. *waves* bye. The next xhapter will be up as soon as I've done it.