authors note:
oh my god, anyone seen the new scene's for new moon?
wow...there are hardly words to describe...taylor....and robert....t-shirts off.....*dreamy face*
It had been almost two years since anna had last seen her brother. Two long years of no letter's telling Anna that he was safe, whether they were winning, that he was coming home soon. There was nothing, it was like he had dropped off the face of the earth.
For two years she had listened to her dear old mother cry night after night, crying for her baby to be alright. Two years of her father holding her while she woke up screaming for her brother.
It wasn't right, she had said that it wasn't right. Jasper was only a boy. He wasn't even 18 when he joined that god awful war. He should have been home with her, he would have been married with children by now. Anna was angry at him at first. What was so wrong with not being a hero?! What was so wrong with them that he felt the need to go in the line of fire for people he didn't know.
She was angry at him for leaving. It wasn't his war to fight.
She was angry at him for not writing like he had promised. She was angry that her parents hadn't stopped him from walking down them porch steps and leaving their lives.
She was mostly angry at herself, for letting him go in the first place. She should fought harder for him when she had the chance. But who would have listened to her, she was no-one she was a silly little girl in her family's eyes.
If she was totally honest with herself, she missed her brother. It was like a part of herself was missing when he left her that hot summer morning standing on the steps.
She had watched him walk out of her life and had just stood frozen. She should have stopped him, he didn't need to fight, that wasn't his place, his place was there with her, to protect her like he had always promised.
She had watched all of the young men from her town join the army after her brother, with the same attitude as jasper. She knew she would never see them again. She would never see that guy boy who used to walk home with from school or the boy who used to pack her mother's shopping at the little shop down town.
All of the boys who she and jasper had grown up with were now gone. Killed in the war, lost forever. She felt sick knowing it was just a matter of time before they received word of jasper's death.
She wasn't surpirsed when her father sat the family down in the family room, clutching onto my mother as if she would break if anyone spoke to her. She felt her heart stop beating when he said the words she had dreaded for the past two years.
" jasper Whitlock, I regret to inform, has been lost in battle. He was a great solider and a great man…."
A great man…he wasn't even old enough to buy a beer let alone join the war to begin with. He was lost, he was gone.
Anna looked to her mother and father holding onto each other. Jasper, their son was gone, he was never coming home. In all the emotions she felt in her body she could express one to them standing before them.
" this is your fault!" anger
"I told you both he shouldn't have gone, I told you I begged you to stop him, to make him see it was a mistake. You let him go!" she accused her father.
Turning to her grief stricken mother anna narrowed her eyes.
"and you, he is, he was your son, how could you let your baby, your own baby go and join that god forsaken war, how?! At least I tried to stop him, at least I tried something, anything. And now he's gone, and it's all because of you!" she shouted.
Her parents didn't say anything. They knew it was her way of dealing with jasper's death, just like it was her way of dealing with her emotions. She knew she was saying horrid things about them, things that weren't true, but she was so angry at them for not doing anything to stop him, she wanted to comfort them, she wanted be comforted, for her father to tell her it was a bad dream, for her mother to kiss her forehead and to go back to sleep,that jasper was ok, that everything was fine.
But it wasn't, she couldn't comfort them because they didn't stop him.
Anna closed her eyes balling her fists up by her side.
"your wrong, he's not dead, he's coming back!" she said, her voice cold of emotions.
Her mother reached for her to hold her, comfort her daughter. Anna flinched away from her mother's touch and opened her eyes to stare at her parents.
"he's coming back, jasper never breaks his promise! He's coming back to me!" she said before stiffly turning on her heel to walk up the stairs top lock herself in her room before her mother broke down again.
No. jasper was coming home, he promised her. Jasper never broke a single promise to her.
He wasn't dead, it just didn't make sense, he was the strongest person she knew, he was coming back, so there was no point in wasting tears for him. She knew there was nothing that would stop him from breaking his promise, ever, so she sat and waited for him, clutching her legs to her chest trying to block the sounds of her mother's wailing from downstairs, waiting until the darkness took over her.