Sorry for the late update. 1) Not a lot's been happening lately (that's interesting). 2) My exams have started.

I promise I will make it up to you with a bit of FrUk in this chapter. See? I don't even like that pairing!

And I will issue a warning now that when I insult France, I am doing it because I'm writing as England - I don't actually hate France ;)

17th May

12:00 pm

Well the past two weeks have been pretty uneventful.

Nick Clegg got owned in both the referendum and local elections.

It was actually kind of cringey and painful to watch.

Fair enough he's annoyed but now he's ranting about the NHS!

Ugghhh, politicians. Why can't they just admit defeat and step down?

12:49 pm

I don't get it. I just don't understand.

Why does America start laughing at me whenever Flying Mint Bunny comes to visit?

Okay, I can see that having a flying green fluffy bunny as a friend may look and sound stupid.

But I'll have you know he's a lot less annoying than America!

I guess he just isn't clever enough to understand the greatness of Flying Mint Bunny.

Oh well.

1:07 pm

Just had yet another phone call from the joke that is France.

He wants me to visit him tonight. He said he had something to discuss with me.

Just what is he scheming?

Whatever it is, it can only be bad.

3:45 pm

Ughhh I feel sick. Just what does France want with me?

Maybe he's still sore about the whole party thing..

But he was the one who started it!

Maybe he's just realised how great I am and has decided to apologise for always being a dick towards me.

No.

Why are you such an arsehole?

Well, I'm off to the airport - wish me luck!

11:15 pm

Holy mother of God.

France came on to me.

I present to you "The Sexual Harrasment of Arthur Kirkland."

-The Sexual Harrasment of Arthur Kirkland.-

England was sat in Frances lounge, reluctantly eating some escargot. France had been acting rather strangely, and as the two forced small talk this became all the more noticeable. Irritated and wanting to go back home where a rather appealing America was waiting for him, England decided to get to the bottom of this.

"So why have you brought me here?" he asked, eagerly awaiting the response. France shuffled uncomfortably, averting his eyes from England's penetrating gaze.

"I have something I would like to ask of you." he slowly replied, moving slightly closer to his unsuspecting victim. England had become curious by Frances actions and was almost intrigued.

"A-and what would that be?" he questioned nervously. This time he wan't so sure that he wanted to hear the answer.

All of a sudden, England felt his hand being taken by Frances as he was drawn closer to his enemy. A soft hand brushed his cheek.

"Become one with me."

England hoped that he had misheard France. Sadly this was not the case. All of a sudden, France painfully crashed his lips onto England. As if that wasn't disgusting enough he also tried tonguing the poor fellow. The poor victim tried to fight back but France had a firm grip on him (had he done this before to other countries?). Unfortunately, all Britain could do was wait until France was finished and accept the disgusting, sloppy kiss. When France was finished, he upheld a smile of victory. This was short lived as England punched him in the face before running as fast as he could out of the door.

Soon, he was on a plane back to London where there would be no creepy frogs to bother him.

THE END.

So there you have it. The story of how France tried to rape me. How lovely.

But now there's an even bigger problem on my mind.

Do I tell America?

I mean, I have to tell someone.

But the problem is, America tends to get a bit...overexcited.

Maybe I should just leave it.

On second thoughts it would be great to see America beat the shit out of him.

Tell him?

Don't tell him?

ARRRGHHH!

I know this chapter's a bit bad and crappy and seems rushed.

But honestly I just haven't had a lot of time.

Please leave a review as I need feedback so I know what to improve! ^_^