I do not in any way own Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories or any of the characters thereof.

When we loose... do we truely gain?

Chapter 2: Loosing Everything

Riku was somewhere around the ninth floor on the basement and Sora was nearing the sixth. I was on my way to watch Riku as Axel was watching Sora. Lately I've been feeling, strange. Like Axel is getting distant from me. Almost like he's… changing into someone else. He started to stay distant, and then didn't even try to talk to me. I thought it was because of Xyked, but now I'm not sure. Everything is different now, and I didn't like living like this.

I finally appeared on the 9th floor and found Riku, he seemed a little tired. Like he just finished a battle, but there was no one else there but me and him. He turned to me, almost glaring. "Did you know him?"

"Him? Him who?" I raised an eye brow.

"Don't try to joke around with me. You two wear the same coat." He pointed to me.

"Well that tells me a lot. I'm not the only one with this coat…"

"Long blond hair, male, crazy." Riku tried to describe him to me.

"Vexen…"

'We'll have to talk with him.' Xyked said.

I nodded.

"Who?"

"You could say I know him." I waved my hand around, "But, we aren't what you call 'friends'. Not like you and me." I placed a hand on my chest. It shocked me at first, I didn't feel the warmth I used to feel. The warmth from inside me, it's gone…

I must have changed my expression, "What's wrong?"

I looked back at Riku, "Everything, if you want the truth."

"Everything?" he was confused.

I started to walk towards him, "I'm not the girl I used to be. I'm stronger," I stopped right in front of him. "I'm hollow."

"Hollow? What do you mean?" I grabbed his hand and felt the stinging sensation in my fingers as I touched his warm skin. He nearly jerked his arm away when my fingers touched him. "You're freezing!"

I only nodded, "And you're warm." I raised his hand to my face and placed it there. Even through his gloves I could feel his warmth.

"Kyde?" he asked.

"I told you," I said, "I'm not Kyde anymore." I could feel my limbs move on there own. That's where the fear set in, she was taking over again.

"What are you doing?" he said as I got closer. I reached up and placed my free hand on his face.

"What's in my Heart, what's left of it."

'What are you doing?!' I screamed.

She continued, now Riku had his back against the wall. "You're not Kyde!"

"Didn't I just say that? Anyway…" my hand moved into his hair, holding back his bangs. "You're partly right."

He didn't move, I could tell he had no idea what to do.

"I am Kyde, but a different Kyde. I have a deep secret that she would never want to tell you." She let out a small laugh, "You look cute with your hair out of your face."

He tried to get away but my hands grip on his was almost paralyzing him.

'What are you doing? Stop this! I don't want this!' I continued to scream.

'Are you so sure of that?'

I stopped, 'Yes.'

'You know you can't lie to me. You've always wanted this. You've always cared about Riku, Sora, but Axel. You love him. If this is just caring…' she laughed, 'then what is love going to be?'

I couldn't answer.

'See, truth… is a funny thing. It can set you free.'

She had him totally paralyzed by now and was 'having her way with him'. She kept hold of his hand but used my other hand and stroked him. Running my fingers through his hair, brushing a slight touch across his face, and now my chest was next to his.

"Your Heart…" he could hardly speak; his face seemed calm, almost content. "It's so faint…"

"It's hardly there, remember? That's what you said to me."

"I didn't… mean it."

"I know, but you were right. My Heart is nearly gone, and part of it," she paused and brought my hand down to his Heart, "is with you."

There was a paused and somehow we had made our way to our knees. His free hand moved upwards, he spoke, "What are you?"

"Me? I'm the Darkness."

It took a moment but I could feel Xyked's grasp on him burst. He pushed my back and I landed on my feet, skidding across the ground. He was standing, breathing heavily, "I won't let the Darkness have me."

I smiled, "It already does." Standing up I flipped my hair, which is something I never do, and gave him a wink. "Just call me when you realize it." I was about to turn.

"Wait!"

I stopped.

"That song, was it Kyde?"

I nodded; "Did you like it?" my voice broke through.

He looked away, "I like it when you're happy."

I smiled, "I'm sorry Riku." I opened a portal and left.



I thrust my fist through the wall, tears blurred my vision. I was mad, no I was more than mad. I was pissed off! My knuckles were now bleeding, but were healing at the same time. Another thing Xyked has done to me. I pulled back again and thrust my hand through the wall again. There were around a good 30 holes in my one wall and normally my knuckles would be broken. True they did hurt, but I didn't care about that. I rested my fist against the wall and let my body slide to the floor.

I hated her! I hated her! In a since that mend hating me, but after Riku… I could never forgive her for doing that. I could never forgive myself for letting her. I know there was nothing I could do; she's much more powerful than I am.

I hit my head on the wall and left it there, sobbing. My chest heart from the gasps and now my hand was about healed over. There would be now scar, but the memory would still be there.

'Suck it up.'

"I don't want to hear your voice right now. Actually, I don't EVER want to hear your voice."

'Just think how much easier it would be if you went along with things.'

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

'I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't.'

"Don't get sarcastic with me."

'Why? We are sarcastic.'

"Your not me!" I yelled getting to my feet.

'The sooner you admit we are the sooner things will get easier.'

"Easier?"

'For you.'

I didn't say anything. I turned to look in the mirror. My purple hair had gotten longer, but its tips were now shimmering silver. My purple eyes changed from silver and purple. "Tai…"

'What about her?'

"I miss her, and I…" I paused, "am starting to understand, how she might feel."

'Don't even compare me to that Twili. Worlds have their limits. Sooner or late her human host will run out of power for her to use.'

I smirked, wiping away the tears with my sleeve. "You don't know Tai like I do. She's not anything like that."

'Oh?'

"I'll find her."

'Really?'

I nodded, "Right after I finish things here."

'Now you're getting it.'

"Not even. I'm not about to leave Sora and Riku."

'It's that Heart again.' Xyked sighed.

"Maybe you should get one."

'We do have one.'

"So where are your goons? Vexen." Xyked let me speak with my own voice. It's amazing how similar our voices sounded but yet they still had that distinct difference.

He looked at me puzzled, "What's wrong Master Xyked?"

"Let's just say I'm speaking freely. Now your goons?"

"How should I know? I'm busy." He tried to shoe me off.

"Busy with Riku?"

He stopped writing and looked at me, "Riku?"

"Don't act coy or stupid with me. He's in your 'domain' and you know it. You were also gathering information on him."

"Now, Xyked. Why would I-?"

"To get your hands in with Marluxia." I interrupted him.

His face turned grim.

"You didn't actually think I wouldn't find out? How funny, Vexen." I laughed. "Now, what are you doing?"

He smiled, "Since you must know." The scientist stood and pressed a few buttons on his computer. A wall started to slide to my right, "A replica of Riku." The wall was completely moved out of the way and there stood a pod with what looked to be Riku inside, floating in water or something, asleep.

"A copy?" I raised an eyebrow.

'I could have fun with him.' Xyked laughed.

'Will you shut it?'

"Not just a copy. A whole new being." He walked around his desk and tapped on the glass pod. "With every aspect of the real Riku."

"Except a Heart and Memories."

He winced, "Yes, well Naminé can remedy the Memories. As for the Heart…" the shrugged, "If I could do that we wouldn't be doing everything that the Organization's working on now would we?"

'Great, let's get Twili in here so she can give everyone a Heart.' I thought.

'Unlikely.'

'Why not?'

'That's the reason. Why? There's no point to it.'

'She can do it though, right?'

'I don't see why not.'

'Ha!'

'But why would she?'

'…Darn you.' I sighed, "What do you plan to do with it?" there was no way I was calling this thing Riku.

"That's all the fun. We'll have to wait and see." By that he meant he had no idea or he wasn't going to tell.

"Whatever." I turned to leave, "But, Vexen. If you ever try to do something behind my back again…" I looked back at him, "I'll punish you myself." I looked away and left through my portal I created moments before.

'Punish? PUNISH? Why didn't we just say we'll ground him? Punish?!'

'What's wrong with you?' Not that I cared.

'Kill. You're supposed to say Kill! K-I-L-L, KILL! Destroy could have been better, but punish?'

'Like I said, I'm not you.'

Xyked sighed, 'One day, soon.'



I walked into the room where Larxene and Axel were. Xyked made me invisible and such, and I found that it was actually quite useful.

Axel and Larxene were talking again, they just finished watching Sora via the crystal ball in the center of the room.

"Just as we planned." Larxene started.

"Let's see then." Axel uncrossed his arms. "I Think it's time for another round." He turned away from her.

"Don't you thing it's my turn to play? You had your fun on the first floor."

Axel threw her the card; she caught it and kissed it. She walked past the crystal ball and up to Axel, she put her hand under his chin, making something in me twitch. "Who says I can't have my way with him first?" she removed it and placed her hand on his chest.

"Don't break him." He didn't even look at her.

She removed her hand, "Ohh… I'm not going to break the toy…" she walked towards the wall past Axel, "Just play with it. I'm not dumb."

"Remember, Sora is the key. We need him if we're going to take the Organization." Axel looked towards Larxene.

'Take. The. Organization?' Xyked was pissed now.

'Quiet!'

'You'd better get your hand on that boy before I do.'

'Quiet!!' I didn't get why Axel said that, I was beginning to worry.

Larxene put her finger on his mouth, "So you're in on it, too?"

'In on what?' I thought, wanting to rip off those antennas she called bangs.

'Now you be quiet!'

She removed her hand again. "Keep it under your hood until the time is right." She turned and waved, disappearing into a portal.

Axel laughed, "You would have been wise to do the same, Larxene."

"Why you little!" Xyked yelled, obviously we were now visible.

Axel nearly jumped out of his skin upon hearing her voice. He turned to face me, "Xyked, Kyde, who are you right now?"

"I'm one person you idiot."

'No we're not.' I said defiantly.

'Shut it!' she thought, 'Would you like to do this?'

'Sure.', "What she means is we're in the same body."

'Will you give it up?!'

I ignored her, "What's going on Axel? What are you doing?"

He looked at me, "While you were with Riku, I've been looking into Marluxia and Larxene. Something Xyked should be doing if she wants to keep the Organization under her thumb. Instead you've been fiddling around with Riku."

"You saw that?" a streak of fear shot through me.

"As if you wanted to hide it."

"But, Axel! That wasn't me!" I started to feel scared. "It was Xyked!"

"You're the same person Kyde. I'm not stupid."

"But, Axel! Please!" I tried to grab his hand but he jerked away. "I'm not going to let you use me, now if you excuse me Xyked." He turned away and opened a portal.

"I'm not Xyked!" I yelled it at first, but Axel was already going through his portal. Then I screamed it, as loud as I could. "I'M NOT XYYYYYYKED!" Hot tears rolled down my face as I fell to my knees. I punched the floor once, then again, then stopped.

'He's accepted it, and he left you.'

"It's not true." I said through my teeth. "It's just not true!'

'If it wasn't then why would I be inside you? Why would Axel have noticed it? Why would things be like this if it wasn't true?'

"I don't want to live like this." I sobbed.

'Then don't. Let things flow and we can be one again.'

"But Axel…"

'What are you going to do about it?'

I paused, "You'll see." An evil smile crossed my face. I stood and threw my hand into the air, and I disappeared into the Darkness. The Darkness was mine, and I was going to use it.

I reappeared somewhere on the sixth floor, floating in the air looking down as Sora and his friends walked into the room. I went down to one knee and one hand, and continued to watch.

"So, Sora… Have you remembered your friend's name yet?" Goofy asked.

'It must be Naminé doing this.' I thought.

"Nope… For whatever reason, her name's the only thing that isn't coming back." Sora put his hands behind his head.

"That must be driving you crazy! You have the memories, but no name to go with them."

'Wonderful Donald… that's a great way to help Sora feel better.'

"Heh." Was all Sora said.

'Their heading towards the seventh floor.' Xyked said.

I nodded and disappeared, reappearing on the next floor I waited for Sora. After a minute or two they came through the door. Larxene was already in the room and either hadn't noticed me above her or she was faking very well.

Upon seeing Larxene Sora ran up closer and called his KeyBlade, ready to fight. Donald and Goofy ready by his side, "You're with Axel, aren't you!" Donald demanded.

"Ooh, aren't you clever. The name's Larxene. Are you enjoying your stay in Castle Oblivion?" Larxene asked.

'What is she, room service?' I thought slowly gliding down to the wall behind her.

"I bet it's nice to peel all the worthless memories away…" she laughed. "And awaken the true memories that lie deep in your heart."

"True memories?" Sora relaxed a bit.

"But… You're still forgetting something very important." She said putting her hand to her head, "When that poor girl hears that her friend Sora has forgotten her name, she'll be heartbroken." and removing it.

'Maybe if she had one.' I could tell Sora noticed me, but he didn't say anything.

"You know her?... Where is she Larxene?" he stepped forward.

Larxene laughed.

"Is she… here?"

"U-huuuuh." She turned her back to him. "The bad guys are holding her deep within the castle." She started to walk away from Sora.

'At least she knows her place.' She didn't notice me still… sad.

She stopped and turned back towards Sora, "And you, the hero, have to go save her. But…" Larxene lunged for Sora, he dodged a few hits but took one really bad one. He flew back and a Popo Fruit charm fell to the ground, with Sora landing next to it.

"I'M a bad guy, so you have to go through me!" Larxene put her hand on her waist.

"Sora!?" Goofy yelled.

Sora raised his head, "What…? Is that mine?" he looked at the charm.

"Tsk, tsk. You've been wearing it all this time, and you forgot? No… You couldn't have." She pointed to Sora, "The memory is engraved in your Heart. Now… think about it. What oh what could it be? Who gave it to you?"

"..Na.." Sora paused, he was still on the ground. "...Na…Mi…"

'Can I hit something? Like my head against the wall?' I shook my head.

"Yes, yes, that's right! Free the memory from your heart!"

Sora started to get up, "…Nami…" he paused again. "…Naminé…"

Larxene walked up to the charm, "So, you finally remember? That's right… Naminé." She pointed down at the charm, "She's the one that gave you the cheesy good luck charm."

'No she's not… but that's not the charm that Kairi gave him… it's different.'

She bent down and picked it up, "Not that you remembered. Could you imagine how Naminé would react if she knew you forgot her…" she started acting dramatic… more than usual. "'How could you Sora! How could you forget about me!' Talk about heartless! It'd serve you right if I smashed this piece of junk!" she raised it above her head.

"Don't touch it!" Sora swiped it from her using his KeyBlade. Larxene jumped back. Sora caught the charm and held it close to him chest. "Naminé gave me this! It's precious to me!"

Larxene shook her hand, Sora had hurt her, "Precious?" she threw her arms to her sides as she sparked with electric energy. That was her power, thunder, electricity. Whatever you wanted to call it, all of them had the same aftermath. Ninja knifes appeared in both her hands in between her fingers, so four on each hand. "Ten seconds ago you didn't even know what it was!" she got ready to battle.

"Remember, Larxene. Don't break him."

Larxene laughed, "Please, Xyked, I'll just have my fun."

"Xyked? But… Kyde." Sora said then got ready to battle.

The battle lasted a while, and this was because there were two different fighting methods being used. Sora was a close range attacker where Larxene was both, but mainly threw her knifes at her opponent. Along with powerful and stunning electric attacks with her magic… it would be interesting.

The battle was nearing an end, Larxene threw a knife, and Sora deflected it. He then jumped up to do a downwards slash, but Larxene jumped back to soon. "Hey! You're not half bad. Guess you really are a hero. A heartless hero!

"Shut up!" Sora made a fist.

"Does it hurt 'cause it's true? Grow up kid!" she pulled out the card, "Here, play with these!" she threw them to him and Sora caught them. "They're more cards made from your memories. Say 'thank you' like a good boy. Ta-ta!" she started to disappear into a portal

"Wait! Larxene!" Sora ran but stopped when she was gone. He started slashing the air, "Where are you! Don't hide! Show yourself!" he continued to slash the air.

'Did he forget that I'm standing here?' I thought to myself, sighing.

"Sora, calm down!" Jiminy was flying around on Sora's hood. "She's not coming back."

Sora's face showed anger, and lot's of it. I hadn't seen Sora angry in a while… he stopped slashing the air.

"Sora…" Goofy walked up next to Sora.

"I hate her. It's not fair that she's the one who made me remember. Naminé is special."

"Special, hu?" I said, my hood was up.

All three turned towards me, "And who are you!" Donald demanded pointing his staff at me.

Sora put his hand on Donalds staff and pushed it down. "It's ok, Donald."

"Do you know her, Sora?" Goofy asked.

"I think so…" he walked up to me, but stopped two feet in front of me. He looked to the side, up, down, he was studying me.

"Trying to remember? Sora?"

"Larxene called you Xyked, but you sound just like a friend of mine." He squinted, probably trying to see under my hood.

"Oh? Really? What was her name? Don't tell me you forgot that."

"She was Kyde."

"Kyde?!" Donald and Goofy spoke at once, shocked.

"Do you really think so, Sora?" Goofy asked.

"I don't know…" Donald started.

"This coming from the one that… never mind. You probably don't remember." I shrugged. I popped my knuckles away from me and removed my hood.

"KYDE!" was the reply I got from all three, that and the dog pile that came afterwards.

"Get off me." I said. I wasn't smiling, I was a little mad. I wasn't prepared for that although I should have.

They stopped laughing and got off me, helping me up. "You ok, Kyde?" Sora asked.

I brushed myself off, "Fine."

"You seem, different." Sora said.

"Well that's to be expected, but I can't stay long."

"Wait, what's going on here?" Sora grabbed my wrist, and then jerked away. "You're, you're freezing!"

It hurt to feel Sora pull away from me. Of all the people I didn't think he would. My face always gives me away.

"Kyde? I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

I shook my head, "You did what was natural. I just have one thing to say…" I reached out and grabbed Sora by the chest so fast it left Donald and Goofy confused about what to do. "How could you forget things that mean so much? How could you call what that Witch gives you memories! How could you do that to her?! To us?!"

Sora had both hands on mine trying to keep himself from falling out of his shirt. "What are you talking about? Kyde! Let me go!" he started to struggle.

I dropped him and he landed on his feet. I didn't realize I was holding him above the ground. "Tell me, you didn't forget my voice…"

He looked up at me, Donald and Goofy stepped in front of him, ready to fight. "You ok, Sora?" Goofy asked.

Sora nodded, then continued to look at me. "Your voice?"

"I don't sing unless I want someone to hear me."

"That was you?"

I nodded, "Good-bye, Sora." I opened a portal. "One day I'll sing for you again. Just don't forget…" I walked backwards, "my voice."

"Kyde!" was the last thing I heard Sora say.



I walked through the portal and into the room with Axel and Larxene, but I heard a different voice. Vexen just appeared in the room right after I did. His project must be done.

"He's right though." Vexen appeared behind

"Vexen!" Larxene said.

"Humbled by someone of such limited significance." He walked towards us.

Larxene just noticed I was there also, "Xyked!"

"Can you say anything other than people's names?"

He stopped in front of Larxene, "You shame the Organization."

Larxene let out a growl.

"Can we help you, Vexen? It's not very often we see you topside." Axel walked up next to Larxene.

I walked up on the other side of Larxene; I could tell Axel was still upset… Because of his Heart…

"I came to lend a hand." Vexen replied. "I remain unconvinced of any potential in this 'hero' you've been coddling."

"Did we ask your opinion, Vexen? He's 'hero' enough."

"Perhaps an experiment would put my doubts to rest."

I sighed, I also noticed that Larxene was listening closely to me. No doubt she noticed the difference in my voice.

"Ha… I knew this would happen. Everything we do… You always need to experiment." Larxene moaned.

"I'm a scientist. Experimentation is what I do."

"Vexen, cut the act. Testing Sora is just an excuse to test your little follower." Axel spoke.

"Follower? He's the product of much research."

"What he is is a toy." Larxene said.

"Hmph. I see I'm wasting my time."

"So you finished it." I said.

All three looked at me, "Yes he is finished."

"You knew?" Larxene asked.

"Of course I knew you twit."

"Twit!"

"Have fun. But take this with you. A wild card to keep the game fresh." Axel handed a card to Vexen. "It's a present. Now, don't tell me I don't respect my elders."

Vexen smiled at the card. It was a card of Destiny Islands.

The fake Riku stepped forward.

"Well go get Naminé, he'll need memories." I said walking through a portal.

Here we go. Sorry guys, I can't seem to write lately. Just a lot on my mind. Althoug I did get at least 10 pages in. I depated on putting in a song, but I didn't think it would be good.

Well I hope you enjoyed it!