"What a load of bull," Gregory Knight glared at the concrete as he and Abbie Hughes walked up to the parade square together. "Seriously."
Abbie rolled her eyes. This kind of talk was typical of Greg.
"I mean, like anyone here's going to go round killing people."
"You said yourself," Abbie adjusted her headband nervously, "that you'd do away with at least one of the others."
Greg laughed humourlessly as they reached the gates.
"Joke, Abbie, joke. Hey – what's going on?"
A girl called Vanessa hurried up to them excitedly.
"We're abseiling," she said, pointing up to the top of Calday.
"Abseiling?!"
"Yep. Down the side of the school."
Hercule Poirot the detective was walking up to them too, Luna skipping along in his wake.
"Enfants, this was my idea. Yes, M. Knight, my idea. You see, mes amis, my little companion here, mademoiselle," Poirot held out a hand and Luna Lovegood curtseyed, smiling serenely, "had the idea that if you climb all the way up to the roof of the school ... it would make quite a good place to pursue such English sports."
Greg raised his eyebrows knowingly.
"Enfants!" Hercule Poirot motioned for the Cadets to gather round him. They were all standing right at the very top of Calday school, but Christopher Kennedy had been replaced by Sergeant Alex Roberts.
"Now, this is a very dangerous activity, mes amis, but do we have a willing volunteer to go first?"
No one spoke, a few people even shuffled backwards slightly.
Alex Roberts coughed and adjusted his collar nervously.
"I'll do it," he murmured, half hoping Poirot wouldn't hear him.
"Bravo!" Hercule cried, throwing his arm out so quickly he nearly knocked Polly Pattinson over. She glared at him, muttering to her friend Rachel furiously.
Alex paced extremely slowly towards the rim of the roof, peering over the edge anxiously. It was quite a big drop.
"On second thoughts – "
"Non, non! You have willingly volunteered, oui? What are you, a coward?"
"Well, when you put it like that –"
"Off you go!" And with that, Poirot literally pushed Alex right over the edge, sending him to his eternal doom.
Okay, only kidding. But he did push Alex. Hard.
"Au revoir!" Luna Lovegood called cheerily in a horribly thick French accent, as Alex plummeted towards the advancing ground. The Cadets were silent, not even daring to breathe.
And then ... it stopped. Alex was suspended in mid-air, his nose grazing the concrete. He let out a cry of joy, before Poirot began hoisting him back up again.
"Now, mes amis, that was not abseiling. Non, I just wanted to test M. Roberts. Je suis trés désolée, monsieur."
"So ..." Luna sighed, "who's next?"
Mike Walsh hid behind his hand, Michael Szuplewski coughed nervously and Greg Knight ran for cover behind Polly Pattinson.
"You!" Luna Lovegood cried, in a very bad imitation of Hercule, pointing at Polly dramatically.
" M-me?" Polly squeaked, fiddling with her blonde hair uneasily.
"Oh yes ... I've never abseiled myself, but apparently it is number eight on the list of most dangerous sports ... but I do hope nothing goes wrong, it would be simply ghastly if you died, wouldn't it Monsieur?" Luna widened her pale eyes and stared at Poirot, who mumbled something but attached the harness to Polly Pattinson.