DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me…they are all the creations of the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. This idea comes from a line in my story 'My First Year as a Cullen'.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Karaoke Night at the Cullen home – All are Vampires.

Don't break up the Band!

EDWARD'S POV:

I watched as Alice set up her Karaoke machine. I briefly contemplated breaking it, but then she sent me a very nasty thought of what she would do to my Volvo. I sighed and sank further into the couch. I kept repeating Bella's promised reward in my head, reminding myself that I promised to behave.

Bella came skipping around the sofa and climbed into my lap. I hadn't really seen her all day. "Hi, love," I whispered as I kissed her neck.

"Have you missed me today?" she asked.

"Terribly," I sighed, leaning my head on her shoulder. She ran her fingers through my hair and I closed my eyes, relaxing at her touch.

"It's time!" Alice sang.

I sat up and opened my eyes. Bella smiled at me then turned to watch Alice. The rest of our family filed into the living room. Jasper didn't look any happier about all this than I felt.

Alice picked up her microphone and turned it on. "Welcome to the Cullen Karaoke Bar! We have a great line up for you tonight. Our house band, EBA …"

Emmett and Bella started clapping and whistling loudly for some reason. Alice smiled wickedly, but lifted a hand. Emmett and Bella stopped immediately.

"As I was saying," Alice continued. "Our house band, EBA, will open and close our show tonight. The band will take the stage in five minutes. Please feel free to mingle and chat in the mean time." Alice turned off her mic and ran upstairs with Emmett and Bella.

"Edward, do you have any idea what they are up to?" Carlisle asked. He sounded nervous. 'Those girls of mine are going to give me gray hair and I'm a vampire!'

I chuckled at Carlisle's thoughts. "No, Carlisle. Alice and Emmett are doing an annoyingly excellent job of blocking me.

"Whatever it is, they are awfully happy about," Jasper remarked. "I couldn't calm them down if I separated them at this point."

"I just hope Emmett doesn't embarrass himself," Rose said. 'Or me,' she thought.

The lights flickered and we turned to see Bella playing with the light switch. She was wearing black jean shorts that only came to her mid-thigh and a purple sparkly tank top. She looked gorgeous. "We don't have strobe lights," Bella giggled. "Alice left them in Forks." Bella ran back upstairs. She ran back out onto the landing. "Alice says that was your one minute warning to find your seats before the show starts." Bella ran off again. I chuckled at my wife. Alice had tapped into a side of Bella that I never would have thought existed. When she was with my sister, she skipped, got giddy, and sang obnoxious songs at loud volumes. Nearly one year of being a vampire and living with my sister had done this to my sweet Bella. Maybe I should build us a house and take her away for myself for a while. College could wait a while longer.

'Edward Cullen!' Alice thought to me. 'You know you enjoy Bella being happy and playful! You can't steal my sister from me!'

I sighed. There was no point in arguing with Alice right now. We were all watching the landing, waiting for the three of them to come out. Alice appeared in black shorts just like Bella's, but her sparkly tank top was a bright red. Bella followed her out. Emmett brought up the rear in a tight pair of jeans, a tight black t-shirt, a blonde wig, and a black cowboy hat.

The three of them were all smiles as they came down the stairs. I groaned internally. This was not going to be pretty. And I had a sneaking suspicion that it was going to be something country. I shivered and sighed. The things I do for Bella! Rewards, Edward! Remember the rewards!

Emmett had moved the furniture back earlier so that they had a wide open space for moving around. Watching Emmett dance was often fun. The man had no shame! I even heard a rumor floating around the house that he was a closet Hannah Montana fan.

Alice put a CD in her machine and turned to us, all smiles. Emmett stood proudly, flashing his teeth to us all. To me, he sent the following gem of a thought. 'Eddie, you are so gonna wish you had joined the band.' I stared at him. What band? What was he talking about?

Alice grabbed the mic. "We present our house band, EBA!" She hit the play button and the music started.

Turn it up some

I groaned loudly. I knew this damn song! Emmett liked to sing it during his showers after hunting. It was going to be a long night. Rewards, Edward! Rewards from Bella!

Alright boys, this is her favorite song
You know that right
So, if we play it good and loud
She might get up and dance again

Emmett looked at me and Jasper as if he was talking to us. Jasper and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. Emmett liked to play dress up just a little too much sometimes!

Ooh, she put her beer down
Here she comes
Here she comes
Left left left right left
Whoo

Emmett started swaying his hips while Bella and Alice started dancing around. They kept turning around and shaking their butts at everyone. It was hilarious! Jasper and I were nearly in hysterics. Rose was appalled at Emmett's attire and the way he was moving. Esme and Carlisle were just shocked. Even their thoughts were scrambled.

Husslers shootin' eight ball
Throwin' darts at the wall
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault
It's so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
(Aww son)

Emmett, Alice and Bella were not fazed by our laughter. Even Carlisle and Esme were cracking up now. Rose just looked horrified. She kept thinking about setting the wig on fire while it was still on Emmett's head. Jasper ended up having to send her a wave of mirth to get her to crack a smile. Our three performers continued their strange form of dancing, sometimes acting out certain lyrics. It was indescribable. I wondered about their 'band' name. EBA. Which one of our nutty trio came up with that?

"Jasper," I whispered.

"Yeah," he managed through his chuckles.

"Wanna bet on who named the band?"

"Fifty says it was Bella."

"No way! It was Emmett."

"Bet accepted. I'll enjoy spending your fifty, Edward!"

"We'll see, Jazz."

Now Honey, you can't blame her
For what her mama gave her
It ain't right to hate her
For workin' that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we're hangin' out till three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)

We don't care about the drinkin'
Barely listen to the band
Our hands, they start a shakin'
When she gets the urge to dance
Drivin' everybody crazy
You think you fell in love
Boys, you better keep your distance
You can look but you can't touch
That honkey tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

That honky tonk badonkadonk
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk

(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey
It's for the badonkadonk)

They finished their song and took deep bows. Alice grabbed her mic and said, "Please give a round of applause for our house band, EBA! Up next is the song styling of Rosalie Cullen."

Bella skipped over to me and climbed into my lap. She was smiling brightly. "Did you like our band, Edward?"

"It's something else, Bella," I chuckled, hoping that would satisfy her. If I told her my real thoughts, there would be no reward later. Only Emmett would go along with something so insane! I couldn't even imagine what their closing number would be.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Song is Honky-Tonk Badonkadonk by Trace Adkins