It was dark when they left the boat.

Sam sat slumped in his seat fast asleep. As soon as they got into their car to leave, Sam was already dozing off.

Dean's mind was overflowing. Morbid memories of relentless pain and suffering; tortures the mind would find impossible to conjure; of little brothers falling into the deepest and worst part of Hell and the recollection of emotions of not being able to save them. Him making that selfish deal to bring Sam back and the look of aguish in his brother's eyes. The list was endless and Dean felt the water rising.

The only thing he was capable of doing was driving. It was his only defense against his own mind.

"God, I needs me some whiskey."

Dean wanted, no, needed to be numb right now. He didn't want to think about Sam's impending doom trying to close the gates of Hell; The coughing up blood, the lethargy, the decline in his health from not eating enough and Sam's rage suddenly rearing it's ugly head. He wondered if this all had to do with when Sam read out the incantation after the first trial. 'He's been acting strange ever since' Dean thought.

Adam was a whole other mess and Dean wasn't sure how to feel about the situation. This second trial may be the stone that kills two birds but Dean was worried that because he'd been in the cage for so long, there was no way of knowing if Adam would be compos mentis enough to save.

Dean breathed in deeply letting the air escape through his nose. He knew that if Sam couldn't save their little brother, it would crush him to nothing. Dean and Sam had been through so much shit together – from the very start – but Adam and his brother had experienced a different type of bond that was created in Hell.

Dean felt he had failed Adam. His little little brother thrown into a world he never had the chance to fully understand; instantly becoming a victim of a celestial war before he could start living, to then be tortured by two Archangels in Hell for centuries.

He looked over at Sam who was staring through the window, his eyes glazed. He hadn't noticed Sam had awakened.

Dean felt compelled to say something. He had a sudden urge to resolve something so the first thing that came to mind was-

"I think you should get yourself checked up. See if a Doctor can help you out a bit."

Sam slowly moved his head to look at Dean. His face was the epitome of confusion.

"What are you talking about…?" Dean stared pointedly at Sam. Yeah, he understood what his brother was getting at.

"Random much."

"Look Sam I don't want a fight. It could be a solution to help you with this lung problem of yours. I mean, this is serious stuff here."

"No."

Dean frowned. "At least think about it."

"I've already thought about it. My answer remains the same."

"Is that final?"

Sam pursed his lips. "Yep."

'Well that worked' Dean thought. Noting that nothing good would come out of winding up his brother, he decided to leave it there for now and diverge onto a different subject. He'll bring it up later.

"Do you think Missouri would be willing to help? I mean, she may be small but she's a tough woman."

The car was quiet for a couple of minutes. Dean let him think, Sam had a lot on his shoulders.

"I think this is a good thing." Sam replied.

"What, Missouri?"

"No." Sam sounded distant. "This could be our chance to save Adam from Hell and not go through what I had to. Or worse."

A small smile tugged at his lips as he looked at his hand with the scar resting on his lap, the hand Dean helped him discover as a way through the mess his mind was, not so long ago.

"He would get a chance to be back in Heaven, to heal and see his mother again. Maybe Dad even."

Dean's eyebrows furrowed together. He didn't want to burst Sam's bubble or sound cruel, but he didn't have any high hopes about this task.

"Look Sam, this does sound good but remember he's been in Hell for… I don't even want to think about how long. I think he's gonna be too messed up and so far from human that he may not comprehend what Heaven is - or even understand what you're saying."

Sam shook his head.

"How can you say that Dean? This is our one and only chance we're ever gonna have to get him out of that place and you've already turned it down. That's fucking bullshit!"

"I know you're angry Sam-"

"You're damn right I am."

"-But you have to consider the possibility that he might not want to. What if he can't make that decision, Sam. Hmm?" Dean turned to look at his brother in the eyes. "What then?"

Sam looked at Dean dead in the eye.

"Then we make him. We are not going to pretend anymore that we don't remember him. This is a one shot deal and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get him out. I know you want to save him too."

Dean put his focus back to the road. "I do."

"And I know that you're biggest fear is failure. Failing our brother."

Dean tensed his jaw.

"All we need to do is have each others backs. We need to be strong 'cause there is no room for fucking this up." Sam jutted his jaw emotionally and looked back out the window.

"I can't fail him. Not again."

…

Six days later going through their list for a psychic and not one of them was willing to help with the ritual. Every one of them turned it down. Becoming desperate, Dean had tried to bribe with money, still none would break.

Sam and Dean decided to not bring Missouri into it unless it was absolutely imperative. They wanted to keep their friend safe. Dean didn't admit it but he was afraid of seeing her again.

Obviously they knew what was at stake and wasn't stupid enough to go through something as terrible as Hell. Dean wondered not for the first time if he really did have loose screws in his head.

"Probably." He said to himself out load.

Sam face appeared from behind his laptop.

"What?"

"Nothing." Dean sighed loudly. Dragging a hand down his face, he looked at his list. He only had about three left to call but he felt it was useless. No one wanted to do this trial with them. Dean didn't blame them - it was psychological suicide.

Sam started coughing again. The pain this was causing his brother was evident.

Dean left the library to get Sam a glass of water.

He came back handing it to him.

Sam poured it down like a shot. "Thanks." Gradually the coughs tapered down as he tried catching his breath. Rubbing at his chest, Dean noticed how exhausted he looked.

"Do you want some coffee?"

"Nah, I'm good."

Dean nodded and closed his eyes. He needed to get some things off his chest. "Sam I'm worried. You're not eating and half the time you don't seem fully awake. And with the constant coughing using up what energy you have left," Dean's voice hardened. "I fear this trial we're on is gonna kill you."

Sam looked up to Dean. "Well, I don't know what you want me to say Dean. This was to be expected, it being the trials to closing the Gates of Hell."

"I friggin' knew it!" Sam ignored his outburst.

"God doesn't ever go light, so why should he now?"

Dean could feel his frustration growing inside and pouring from his mouth like lava. "It's God, Sam! He has the power to do anything—everything. He's supposed to be the one to close the Gates, not you. They shouldn't even be open in the first place!"

Sam's face screwed up in pain.

"Gosh Dean did you have to shout so close to me?"

Dean's face turned from anger to stone. "This isn't a joke Sam. This is our fucked up reality we live in – been living ever since…" He deflated.

Sam eyebrows furrowed together. "Since what?"

"Nothing, just, do you think we should call Missouri now? I'm sure she'd be perfect. Willing and able." Dean waggled his eyebrows and smiled a little, trying to lighten the mood.

His brother smirked. "Aren't you afraid of her?"

"Me, scared of Missouri?" Dean scoffed. "I think not, brother."

"Yeah sure, I believe you." Sam sniffed. "Anyway, I think we should. At this point we've haven't got a choice."

"Okay." Dean nodded. He clapped his hands together and rubbed them briskly. "But you're calling her."

"Ha, not scared?" he chuckled.

"Shut up."

…

Going through their father's journal, he searched for the page of Missouri's address and home number. Sam hoped it would still work.

Sam put the number in his mobile and pressed the call button. It rang for a few seconds and then the familiar sound of her warm voice came through the other end.

"Hello, speaking?"

"Er, Hi? It's me, Sam. Sam Winchester."

"Well, well, well. Never thought I'd hear from you again. How's your brother?"

Sam looked at Dean sitting on the other side of the desk.

"He's doing alright. I need to ask you a favour."

"What is it?"

"I didn't want to ask this of you but we need your help with something. You should know that it's very dangerous so don't feel guilty if you refuse."

"Tell me, sugar."

Sam sighed. "We need your help closing the Gates of Hell."

"What!" She didn't think it would be something as big as that. "Child, is this even safe to talk about over the phone!"

"Er…"

Dean heard her voice shouting and saw how Sam was cringing.

"You two need to get over to mine. This is way too important."

"Yeah you're right." Sam nodded. "We'll be there ASAP."

"Good. See you both soon. And tell Dean to stop worrying, I'm not that bad."

Sam said goodbye and ended the call.

"Missouri said to—"

"Yeah, I know Sam. I heard." Dean got up from the desk. Sam smirked. "We better get our shit together. Be ready to hit the road in 10 minutes."

"Yes sir."

- So, what do you think? Please leave a review. Thanks.