Genre: StarTrek: The Next Generation

Title: New Civilizations

Summary: Guinan practices old skills. Data practices new skills. Riker and Picard greet a new crewmember.

Chapter 2

Guinan, the Ten Forward hostess, was standing behind the bar, doing what she did best, passing the time of day with patron and much more. Not pausing in her conversation, she couldn't help but notice Data's obvious too-jaunty air as he came through the lounge doors.

Unaware of Guinan's scrutiny, Data looked about the crowded room until he spotted a table where Commander Riker, Ensign Ro, and Lieutenant Commander LaForge were seated and paused a moment to examine an internal mode in his positronic brain. Apparently reassured, a smile grew on his gold tinged face, he hitched his shoulders and advanced on his friends. "Ah, Geordi, how nice to see you." He put out a hand.

Geordi looked first at the hand, then up into Data's face, over at his two companions and back to Data. "What gives, Data?"

"I think he's offering to shake hands," Ro chimed in.

"Yes, Ensign Ro, you are correct. Geordi, when someone extends a hand, you are expected to take it and give it a shake." Data paused. "Do I not have accurate information?" He pushed the hand at Geordi.

"But, Data, what's with the fake hand?"

Withdrawing the proffered extremity, Data pushed his own hand out through the sleeve still holding the bogus appendage by the rod which extended out the end of the wrist. Examining it, he said, "You were not fooled, then?"

Geordi flashed his brilliant smile as he chuckled. "No, Data, I wasn't fooled. Why did you want to fool me? Grab a chair, sit down, explain."

"Grab—Ah!" Data took a seat. "What was it that gave me away?" He laid the plastic hand on the table.

"Data, you know my VISOR can detect the difference in composition between that thing and your hand, so, why were you trying to fool me?"

Riker, slouching characteristically in his chair, was seated sideways to the table to allow him to stretch out his long legs. He leaned an elbow on the table and spoke up, "Yes, Data, what're you up to now?"

"I will explain, Commander Riker. Yes, Geordi, I knew your VISOR allows you vision capabilities beyond normal human range, but I was hoping that my manner was casual enough that you would take the hand before noticing its structure."

"But why?" asked Ensign Ro. The intense young Bajoran woman leaned forward, her elaborate ear-clip jewelry glinting from the light from inside the table.

"You boning up on practical jokes now?" Riker picked up the hand and examined it.

"Actually, Will, Ensign Ro, I was practicing a bit of slight of hand."

The three listeners at the table looked stunned then in unison groaned. The wrinkles on the bridge of Ensign Ro's nose deepened as she closed her eyes. Riker's head sank so that his bearded chin rested on his chest. Geordi's lips curled in distaste.

"Have you taken ill? Should I summon Dr. Crusher?" Data looked genuinely alarmed.

Riker was first to recover. "Puns, no less! Are you practicing puns now? Is that what this is about?"

Geordi La Forge reached out to stay Data who was about to signal his com' insignia, apparently to summon aid. "We're not really sick, Data, it's just a normal reaction to puns."

The android turned his attention inwards a moment. "Ah! Puns; the humorous use of two words having the same or similar sounds or of, as in this case, two different, more or less, incongruous meanings of the same word. Also known as paronomasia." Data looked up, "No. I am not studying puns but I see how you could have construed my words to that meaning." Data paused again. "I will have to take the consideration of the study of puns at a later date. It could be quite interesting."

He picked up the plastic hand and seemed to look at it with new interest. "I could say I was walking alone and yet walking hand in hand, for instance, or, I could—".

Riker cocked an eyebrow and said, "If you don't mind Data, I'd just as soon you don't explore the possibilities here or now."

"I agree. Please don't." Ensign Ro looked more stern than usual. "And when you do decide to enter that region of verbal abuse, do it someplace that I'm not likely to be."

"I do not understand," Data said.

"And at this point," Geordi spoke gently, "I don't think we need explore the difference between people who enjoy puns and those who don't. You and I can talk about, this later."

Data looked at his companions' faces, which ranged from looks of slight worry to mild disdain. "All right." The matter for him was closed.

After waiting a moment of silence, Geordi then burst out, "So, what was the bit with the hand?"

"Oh! Yes! What I meant by slight of hand was prestidigitation, legerdemain, hocus-pocus, making something seem what it is not."

"Magic! You were trying out magic tricks on us?" Geordi's amazement at what his mechanical friend could come up with was evident.

"Yes, it is also described in that way. I am starting with the rudiments of the art. Much of what you call 'magic' is the redirection of the attention of the audience. There are many ways to redirect attention and one is to direct it at the trick itself while acting as if there is no trick. My intention was simply to get you to shake the counterfeit hand by offering it in a casual manner. Then I would have released my hold on the stick, and given you the impression you had partially disassembled me. I hoped you would be concentrating on my face and my gesture, not the hand, and that it would seem to have magically departed from my arm at your touch. But," he looked puzzled, "It did not go as well as I had hoped. Why did you stop to examine my hand? Is it not common for acquaintances to shake hands? Did I make a mistake in the way I offered it?"

"Well, first, ol' Buddy," Geordi settled into one of his favorite roles, that of mentoring Data, "Yes, some friends do shake hands every time they meet but we don't. I thought you were handing me something, so I looked to see what it was."

"Well, in effect, I was handing you something." Data cocked his head ever so slightly.

Riker and Ro both winced.

"Uhhh, yeah. You were going to work on puns later, remember?"

"They do seem to be self generating. Please continue, Geordi."

"That's all. Your effort at misdirecting my attention by directing it to the hand backfired. You have never offered to shake hands before. You might as well have said, 'Don't look at the fake hand I'm offering to you.'

Ro spoke, taking the bogus appendage from Riker. "So, why are you studying magic?"

"I am fascinated by the human ability to be delighted by surprise, to be fascinated by trickery, and the apparent preference to wonder rather than identify. I thought that by performing such trickery on people with whom I am acquainted, I could more closely observe the human reaction."

"Next time," observed Riker, "you'll have to choose your mark more carefully."

Data cocked his head again and said, "My mark?"

Riker spoke up, "A term meaning the person you have chosen to con or fool."

Data glanced down in his internal search mode again and then looked up. "Yes, that term is used but usually with a disreputable tone to it. I had no wish to cheat or to gain funds but merely to mystify and cause wonder. However, I think I understand your meaning and I agree. I have much to learn."

Geordi sat back in his chair. "Is this how you're going to spend the free time we get on this mission? Learning to do magic tricks?"

"And what sort of audience to play to, yes."

Riker's communicator beeped. Touching the insignia on his chest, he quietly answered, "Riker."

Captain Picard's voice said, "Our new veterinarian is about to be transported aboard. I'd like you to be on hand to greet her, Number One. I'll meet you in Transport Room Four."

Riker was rising as he spoke, "On my way." There was no need for parting words among the crew of the Enterprise.

&&&&

How Guinan could hear a conversation halfway across the Ten Forward Lounge, no one knew, but she could. Not only was she quite aware of the conversation between Data and his three friends, but also every word of every occupant in the room including those of the young officer. As always, she quietly filed all she heard into her unfathomable mind, and, in this case, she put the subject of Data and prestidigitation under 'Interesting, possible future reference.' She was doing the same with what she was hearing from the young man at the bar in front of her.

"I just wish I knew where I'd gone wrong." Even a newcomer into the conversation would have known that he'd said this several times in the last few minutes.

"She hasn't said anything to you, right?"

"Not a word! I can't get hold of her. Her shifts have changed so that when I'm working she's asleep and when I'm free she's working and—"

"Has it occurred to you that maybe there's something going on in her life that she doesn't care to discuss with you? That maybe you're not at fault here, or that there's some other factor that you just don't know about? There could be a hundred different answers, and most of them have nothing to do with you personally. Look, until you know more, maybe you should stop beating yourself over the head."

"It's not only that. I just miss her company. I thought we were friends. We saw eye to eye on almost everything and what we didn't agree on we liked to discuss to death. We both liked to do the same things, play the same sports."

"Okay, Okay, I get you. Hey, what's her name? If she comes in here, I'll drop your name and say you're open for some talk." Guinan's roles as hostess were many and varied.

The young man's face creased in a smile. "Thanks, Guinan. I'd appreciate it. Her name is Zidadit…"he paused. "I always have trouble with the second part of her name." He stuck his tongue between his lips. "Thferitt. You would recognize her as soon as you saw her. She's a big girl, about my height, broad shoulders and her skin has a slight blue tinge to it."

"Blue? Like an Andorian?"

"I'm pretty sure she's not Andorian. No horns, you know?"

"But she's blue."

"Yeah, and tall. Look, if you see her, tell her I'm sorry for whatever I did, tell her…"

Guinan nodded, listening impatiently. She held up her hand in the universal 'halt' signal. "Got it. All I can do is just mention your name and say you'd like to hear from her, no more. If that doesn't seem appropriate, not even that. I'm not a message service, Okay?"

"Guinan, the fact that you're even listening to me makes me feel better. Thanks. Think I'll even sleep better tonight. See you later." He almost inhaled the last drop of his drink, returned the glass to Guinan, turned and strolled away.

Guinan nodded and watched the young man depart. She seemed to mull over all he had said, nodding ever so slightly. Then she shook her head in disbelief, and grinned a humorless smile. The sound of a boisterous laugh broke her reverie and she turned to see what she could do to help the next customer.

&&&&

Captain Picard met his first officer in the corridor a short way from the transport room. "I believe I've found someone to perform the wedding ceremony, Captain."

"I wish I could do it, but they decided on the very date we will arrive at Kron. Who will be doing the honors?"

"A Dr. Tho, in the geology science lab. He knows the two grooms well, and he used to be something like a minister on his home planet."

Entering the transport room, Picard continued the conversation. "Good, I'm glad to hear it, Number One." He nodded in acknowledgment towards Chief O'Brien standing at the ready at the transport controls. "Is she ready to come aboard?"

The softest hint of Irish brogue tinged O'Brien's reply, "There'll be a delay of about two minutes sir. The Arizona wanted to take this opportunity to calibrate their transport beam with ours. We found a slightly irregular modulation and they're correcting it now."

Picard raised an eyebrow in slight disapproval. "I thought you'd have had time for that before now."

The engineer chief shook his head, all the while keeping an eye on the board. "Sir, this is the Arizona's shakedown cruise. There's never enough time."

Riker grinned as he said, "There's probably a nervous veterinarian standing beside the transport platform, swearing she'd rather swim through space naked rather than travel by a perfectly functioning transporter, much less take a chance with one that has a modulation variation."

"Hmmm, yes, I daresay. No doubt pleading for a shuttle. I wonder what it is about medical people that they dislike the transporter? Most are absolutely practical in almost every fashion, but become blithering idiots at the notion of being electronically disassembled and reassembled. Even Beverly Crusher mumbles of the evils every time she enters a transport room."

"Ready to beam the new Veterinarian aboard, sir," interrupted O'Brien.

The conversation ended as the transport shimmer began to glow on the platform.

TBC to Chapter 3

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