Chapter Summary: The news of his wife's pregnancy sends Erik off into the moors. Tallis finds a possible answer to her fears in her cousin's words. Tallis confronts Erik about his actions and they break the news of the new baby to a silly Michael and an observant Gabriel.

CHAPTER TWO

"Erik!" The voice pleaded as a hand knocked lightly against the locked door to his music room. "Are you going to talk to me?"

Erik heard the voice, its sweet tone and blocked it from his mind.

Another knock on the same door and this time the tone of voice was a bit more strident. "You are going to have to talk to me sooner or later."

Erik's fingers curled into fists as he fought the urge to break something.

This time the sweet, pleading tone of voice and gentle knockings were gone, as a palm slammed against the door, the voice now raised in anger. "Damn you, Erik!" A pause. "I did not do this by myself!" Another pause and the voice screamed at him. "You cannot ignore me forever!"

Erik's entire face turned bright red as his blood pressure rose with each word that came through the locked door.

A last gentle knock on the door and the angry voice was gone, replaced by one of a resigned sadness. "As you would, then," the voice said. "I am going to go to Trevinny and you can just stay here and brood." A hint of sarcasm crept into the gentle tone. "Since we both know how very much you like to stay in the shadows and be miserable." The tone of voice softened again. "I will have lunch with the boys at the house but we will be back for dinner. And you will sit with me and smile at them as we," the word as emphasized, "tell them they are going to have a little brother or sister."

Maybe there will be no need to say it to them, Erik thought as he heard the front door of the cottage open and close, no regrets crossing his mind or heart at the harsh coldness of his thought. Erik raised his eyes to the ceiling, closing them tightly as his fingers smashed against the piano keys, the harsh sound grating in his ears and piercing his heart. Perhaps this is all a dream and when I open eyes, it shall all be just a bad memory. Erik lowered his head, opening his eyes and staring at the room about him. "God damn it all to Hell!" he shouted as he slammed his hands down one last time on the keyboard before rising, striding across the room and pulling the door open.

Erik stormed through the empty cottage and out the door that led from the kitchen into the back yard. He heard the two dogs in their pen barking at him, waiting for him to release them and let them run free across the moors. Erik ignored them, not seeing their wagging tails slowly droop, their eager bouncing stop as the dogs lay down, heads between their paws, not understanding where their young playmates were or why they were being left behind. Yet Erik knew exactly where he was going as he left behind the comfortable cottage that had become his safe haven from the world – he was seeking the old and familiar.

And Erik found it as his long strides carried him to the edge of the moors behind the home he shared with his family. He paused for a moment in his walk, looking at the bleakness that stretched before him, the barren landscape matching the emptiness of his own heart. Erik forced himself to unclench his fingers as he continued to walk deeper and deeper into the moorland. He was grateful for the chilled breezes that blew their way through his shirt and pants for they reminded him of the damp coolness of the dark that he had loved. As he walked over the land that rose and fell, Erik was careful to avoid the boggy traps that nature had set. He finally stopped at a familiar rock that rested at the edge of steep drop-off, sitting down and wishing he had known of such ingenuity long ago.

"Perhaps then that boy would never have escaped," he said aloud to the snow-sprinkled world that stretched out before him. Erik's lips set in a hard line. "He would have been sucked under with no way to escape and she would have been mine. Things would have been the way they should have always been." Erik's head shook back and forth and his eyes glittered with an angry fire. "She and I would have shown the world what I could do! We would have taken the world by storm!" He drew in several deep breaths in an attempt to steady the emotion that shook his whole body. "Then there would have been no Tallis, no Gabriel, no Michael. There would have been no sleepless nights full of worry. There would have been no chance of losing again. There would have been no fear of the future. There would…" Erik's voice drifted off and he placed his head into his hands. "There would have been no Tallis, no Gabriel, no Michael."

Erik slowly raised his head and stared off into the distance, not seeing outwardly but turning his gaze inward. "Four children," he whispered as he thought of Antoinette's last letter. "She and that boy have four children and it came so easily for them." His fingers once again curled into tight fists. "Why could it not have come so easily for us?" Erik demanded as he opened his eyes, raising them to the heavens. "Why must everything in my life be so difficult? Why do you hate me so much?" Erik screamed. There was no answer and he rose to his feet, taking the few steps to the very edge of the drop-off from which he had so often warned his sons away. He let his toes stick over the edge as he looked down.

Old, decaying roots stuck out from the sandy soil, holding out the hope of rescue until the person who had slipped over the edge reached out and the decay would break the root in two. The unfortunate person who had gone over the edge would then continue to slide downward, watching as the pile of rocks at the bottom rose to meet them. If the person were lucky, they would hit the rocks and die instantly. If they were unlucky, they would fall into the bogs on either side of the rock pile, falling through natural camouflage that made the bogs look like solid land. Then the thick, liquid beneath would grab onto the person, pulling them further and further downward even as they struggled to break free. It would be a lonely, frightening death.

"It would be perfect," Erik whispered as one foot went out over the edge of the drop-off. Suddenly the words - I did not do this by myself! – screamed through his mind and Erik drew his foot back before collapsing onto the cold ground. "I cannot do this to her," he kept repeating. "I cannot do this to her."

Erik leaned back against the rock. "I never wanted children; all I wanted was her," he whispered to the surrounding countryside. "All I wanted was to be loved. I did not think … I did not know…" Erik slammed his open palms down on the hard ground, feeling sharp pebbles cut into them and not caring. "Why did there have to be children? Why did they have to be cursed like me? Why could they not be perfect?" A grimace crossed his face. "I am certain their children are perfect. I am certain they are all beautiful and perfect."

"Damn you, God!" Erik yelled, his voice carrying across the moors, echoing off the rocks, reaching into the shadows, the long buried power and emotion of The Phantom rising once again. "Damn you! Why did you allow my curse to infect her children? Why did you allow it to infect her? Did you not make it difficult enough for a woman to bear a child? Why must you risk her life to bring forth those little abom…" Erik's chin began to tremble as images of two small boys filled his mind.

Erik could see them as they were held at their mother's breast, safe and content, their little eyes closing in sleep. He could see them as they squirmed along the floor, eager, impatient and ready to face the world. He could hear them laugh in delight and cry in anger. He remembered their first faltering steps, little hands held out to him, trusting that he would catch them. He could feel Gabriel on his knee, as the small child pounded on the piano keys. He could see Michael putting anything and everything in reach together as he made creations only a child's mind could picture.

Erik remembered long afternoons that were spent at the beach as they fished in the waves, laughing as they caught something to bring back home. He remembered watching as their mother taught all of them how to clean the day's catch, the boys delighting in the gory mess. He remembered long walks on the moors, throwing sticks for the dogs to chase, returning home dirty and tired. He remembered bathing those dirty, tired bodies, more water ending up on the floor than had seemingly been put into the wash bin. He remembered the sweet, clean smell of tiny bodies snuggled next to him as he told amazing stories, slowing introducing his sons to the world beyond their cottage. He remembered looking up to see the smile and love on his wife's face as she watched her family from the doorway.

"Do as you would with me, God" Erik said and let out a long sigh. "I have long since resigned myself to the fact that you gave me into Satan's hands the moment I drew breath." The anger once again appeared on his face. "But I vow that if anything happens to Gabriel or to Michael…" Erik once again raised his head to look at the bright sky that seemed to stretch beyond where human eyes could see. "Or to Tallis and this child she carries, it shall be eternal war between us!" Erik was silent for a moment. "One perfect child, Lord; that is all I ask. Just give her one perfect child." Suddenly the fear, the anger, the love that he had been fighting overwhelmed him and he buried his head in his hands as the tears came. "Keep her safe. Please – I am begging You – keep her safe!"

The woman and children for whose lives Erik bargained with God were at that very moment having a joyous reunion in the front drive of Trevinny. Moira was climbing down from the front of the small cart and slipping the reins of the team through the ring in the hitching post. Tallis waited until the cart was still before walking out the front door and to the back of the cart, a huge smile on her face as her sons reached for her.

"Mama!" Gabriel exclaimed as his arms wrapped around Tallis' neck.

"Oh, I missed you so much!" Tallis said, smiling at the half-grin that crossed Gabriel's face – a grin that reminded her so much of his father.

"But it was only one night," Gabriel replied.

"And one night without my boys feels like a lifetime to me," Tallis told him as she kissed cheek.

"Why?" Gabriel wanted to know.

Tallis ran her fingers through his thick curls and pulled Gabriel's head forward, kissing it lightly. "Because I love you so much," she whispered. "Do you want me to lift you down?"

Gabriel squirmed out of his mother's arms. "I am a big boy now, Mama," he insisted and jumped down from the cart, landing firmly on his feet and smiling up at Tallis. "See?"

Tallis ruffled his curls. "You are such a big boy!" she agreed and turned her attention to her second son who waited in the cart with his arms open to her. "And are you a big boy, too?" Tallis asked Michael, as she pulled him to her, hugging him close.

"No," Michael replied as he kissed his mother and wrapped his arms tightly about her neck, his legs wrapping about her waist. "Carry me, Mama."

"Baby," Gabriel said as he turned to the open door to Trevinny, walking inside.

"I shall carry you inside," Tallis told Michael, "but then you must play quietly with your brother for a few moments while I talk to Aunt Moira, yes?"

Michael sighed and settled his head on Tallis' shoulder. "Yes, Mama."

"Would my boys were so well behaved," Moira laughed as she walked from the hitching post to stand next to Tallis. Moira reached out to stroke Michael's head. "We had such a wonderful time with them last night," she told Tallis before the question was even asked. "They helped with the chores," Moira continued and stopped as an embarrassed smile crossed her face.

"Helped or hindered?" Tallis whispered as she walked into the entry hall of Trevinny and placed Michael down. "Go and play with your brother," she said and watched as Michael scampered over to where Gabriel was playing at the bottom of the grand staircase. "Gabriel watch your little brother for a moment," Tallis called out and waited until Gabriel looked up and nodded at her before handing a wooden soldier to his younger brother. Tallis gave a last glance to her boys playing in their usual spot before turning back to her cousin.

"They definitely helped," Moira lied in reply to Tallis' question, her face a perfect blank canvass. "And what of Erik? Helped or hindered?"

Tallis sighed and shook her head. "He probably helped as much as the boys did."

Moira laid a hand on Tallis' arm. "I am that sorry. Is he being horrible about it?"

Tallis frowned. "Yes, he is," she admitted. "He rose before I did this morning and locked himself in his music room. He would not come out for breakfast and he will not talk to me." Her voice lowered. "He drives me to distraction when he behaves in such a manner! He is … he is …"

"Still The Phantom?" Moira asked.

"Yes," Tallis replied and kicked out at the marble floor beneath her feet. "Damn him."

Moira sighed. "You knew what – and whom – you were marrying. You would not hear a word against him from any of us," she reminded her cousin.

"I know, I know," Tallis replied, nodding sadly. "I just thought that after all this time he would finally be secure enough to know that the boys love him and that I love him." She heaved a great sigh. "And that he can be free to love us in return." She looked over her shoulder at the two dark-haired children playing together before turning back to Moira. "It frightens me when he is like this," she said. "I worry about what he might do to the boys."

Moira looked shocked. "He would not hurt them!" She shook her head. "Would he?"

"Not physically," Tallis told her. "But, oh Moira, I worry about what he could do their emotions." There was a note of pained resignation in Tallis' voice. "He still has that ability to control a person, that ability to take a person and mold them into his creation. He knows he cannot – and dare not! - do it with me but what if something happens to me when this baby is born?" Tallis reached a hand down to cover her lower abdomen. "What will become of my children? What kind of people will he raise them to be? I cannot even bear to think of my sweet babies with all their promise alone in his hands!" Tallis felt her arms gripped firmly in Moira's hands.

"You need never worry about it!" Moira adamantly declared. "I promise that if anything should happen to you, Joseph and I will take your children. We will protect them and raise them to be the people you would want them to be. I swear!"

"Thank you," Tallis replied as she sniffled back tears and wrapped her cousin in a warm hug. "Thank you," she repeated as they drew apart.

"You are very welcome," Moira whispered. "I shall pray that it will never be necessary."

Tallis nodded. "So shall I." She watched as Moira waved to Gabriel and Michael.

"I must be getting back," Moira said and blew kisses at the boys who were waving at her before turning her attention back to Tallis. "If you need anything – anything! – you come to us. We will do whatever is required to protect you and the children. Yes?"

"Yes," Tallis said and walked Moira to the door. "Thank you," she said again, giving Moira one last hug and watching as Moira undid the reins, holding onto them as she climbed aboard the cart.

"Anything," Moira gave a last reminder as she guided her team down Trevinny's long drive.

Tallis nodded her acknowledgement and turned back to Trevinny, entering the foyer and closing the door behind her self. She walked over to where her sons were playing quietly, smiling down at the upturned faces that greeted her. "I think there are bacon sandwiches, milk and applesauce in the kitchen for lunch," she told them. "Are you hungry?"

Both boys jumped to their feet.

"Yes, please!" Gabriel exclaimed.

"Cut mine?" Michael wondered.

"Certainly," Tallis said as she took each of her children by the hand.

"Baby," Gabriel muttered.

The rest of the afternoon was spent quietly as Tallis continued her methodical inspection of each room in Trevinny. She looked under dust covers and in drawers, ensuring that each item from the previous year was still there and ticking the item off her list as she found it. She smiled at her sons as they played in the upstairs hallway as she went from room to room. Tallis would hear their laughter and peek around an open doorway at them as they went about the business of being children. Her heart would swell with pride as she watched Gabriel carefully keep his younger brother near him, preventing Michael from wandering off and possibly being hurt. Gabriel was so like his father, the thought passed through her mind, methodical, careful and observant. And Michael was like her, ready to fly off, chasing after the next adventure, always eager for a new experience. Her children balanced each other out nicely, Tallis thought.

"Just like Erik and I used to do," she whispered to herself as she closed the door to the room she had been inspecting.

"What did you say, Mama?" Gabriel asked.

Tallis smiled down at him. "I said I think it is time we should be returning home to your father. I need to get dinner ready." She bent over and ran a finger down Gabriel's cheek. "And you need to wash that dirty little face."

"I not dirty," Michael declared.

Gabriel rolled his eyes at his little brother. "Yes you are."

Michael stuck out his lip and looked at his mother. "I not dirty!"

"Perhaps just a little," Tallis told him, taking his hand as well as his brother's and raising them to their feet. "So you shall need to have your face washed, as well." She looked down at the toy soldiers on the floor. "Pick up your toys and we shall put them in the box on the first floor."

Tallis guided her children down the hall and then down the stairs to the first floor. She waited patiently while Gabriel and Michael put their toy soldiers in the box tucked into the curve of the stairs. Tallis then helped Michael slip into his coat while Gabriel put on his own. She slipped into her own coat, guiding her children out the front door and locking it. Tallis took a hand from each child into one of her own and began walking back to the cottage. She listened as the boys told her of the night spent with their cousins. She listened to Gabriel as he described how he was learning how to milk a cow. She listened as Michael told her of being allowed to help feed the chickens. Tallis laughed with her sons as they described trying to help the herding dogs round up a few stray ewes. Soon enough their conversation stopped as they reached their own front door. Tallis drew a deep, silent breath and pushed the door open, her fear easing a bit as sound could be heard coming from behind the closed door of Erik's music room. She shooed her children into the house and helped them out of their coats.

"Can we go see Papa?" Gabriel wanted to know.

"You know the rules," Tallis told him gently. "When the door is closed, we do not bother Papa." She smiled brightly. "Would you both like to come and help me in the kitchen?"

"Play wif toys," Michael said, his little nose wrinkling.

Gabriel took his brother's hand. "I will watch him," he told his mother.

"Do not make too large of a mess," Tallis told them as she ruffled their hair, watching them go down the hall to their room before turning and walking to the kitchen. A look of amazement crossed her face as she entered the kitchen and the aroma of stew reached into her nostrils.

"I thought you would appreciate it if you did not have to cook this evening," a voice said from behind her.

Tallis set her lips into a thin line and squared her shoulders before turning around to look at her husband. "And that is supposed to make everything better?" she asked, watching as the muscles in Erik's lower jaw twitched. Her heart broke as she saw the pained look that crossed his face but she was not giving in easily this time.

"I thought – at the very least - it would help," Erik replied softly.

"It does," Tallis said. "Thank you." She turned back to the room, walking toward the large open hearth. She lifted the lid of the pot simmering there, sniffing the rich steam that floated upward before placing the lid back. She began to turn back toward the room, ready to set the table and found her arms lightly grabbed by the man once again standing behind her. Tallis looked down at her husband's hands before looking up into his face.

"I am … I am …" Erik stuttered. "I am sorry."

Tallis was silent for a moment before shaking her head. "That is not enough this time." She reached up and took Erik's hands from her arms. "Not this time." She walked across the kitchen to the cabinet where the dishes were kept, turning back to find Erik standing next to the table, a look of expectation on his face. Tallis sighed and sat down. "I have been accepting your apologies since we have known each other and I am tired of it." She reached a hand up to rub at her forehead. "I am tired of you having to say them." Tallis heard a chair scraping along the floor and knew that Erik was sitting down. She raised her head to look at the man seated beside her. "You cannot deny the fact that you are to be father again. This is not going to magically go away just because you wish it!"

"I do not …" Erik started and was stopped by Tallis' upraised hand.

"You do," Tallis sighed in resignation. "And you know that I am aware of such." Her resignation turned to anger. "But I want this baby and I am going to have this baby." Tallis reached out a hand to grab Erik's wrist, sinking her fingernails into his skin. "And you are going to love all of us whether you want to or not! Is that clearly understood?"

Erik could only nod.

Tallis released his wrist and raised an eyebrow at him. "Because if you do not understand and – God forbid – something should happen to me, you will never see your children again."

"What?" Erik bellowed. "How dare you say such a thing!"

"Listen to me," Tallis hissed from between clenched teeth, silencing Erik's outburst. "I will not have any resurrected Phantom raising my children! Do you understand me? Either Erik, my husband, their father, raises my children or they will go to people who will raise them up in love." Tallis' anger and fear got the better of her normally calm disposition. "I will not have you destroy my children's lives the way yours was destroyed!"

There was a potent silence at the kitchen table as husband and wife glared at each other, both struggling to find a way past personal anger and shared fear. It was Erik who broke the silence as he turned away from the cold depths of his wife's gray eyes.

"What have I done?" he whispered, hanging his head.

Tallis watched quietly for a moment before pushing her chair back and walking over to her husband, wrapping her arms about his neck and placing her head on his shoulder. "Nothing that cannot be fixed," she whispered in reply as she kissed his cheek before resting her own against it. "But you must stop being ruled by your fears. You must! If you do not, I fear for what will happen to this family that you want so much."

"You are my fears," Erik replied softly. "You terrify me in a way that I am not even able to explain." He leaned into the cheek against his own, reaching up to wrap his hands about Tallis' arms. "Please promise me that you and the new baby shall be well and I think I may be able to set my fears aside."

Tallis closed her eyes, knowing Erik was lying to her and knowing she was about to lie to him in return. "I promise," she said.

"Thank you," Erik told her, knowing she lied, knowing they both lied; but it was enough for the moment.

"We are hungry," a little voice said from the doorway, interrupting the healing that had slowly begun to take place. "When is dinner going to be ready?"

Tallis and Erik looked up to see their sons - holding hands – standing in the doorway. Tallis opened her mouth but Erik stayed her.

"We have something to tell you," Erik said and held out his hands to his sons. "Come here for a moment."

Michael eagerly skipped across the room and jumped onto his father's lap. Gabriel walked a bit more slowly, waiting until his mother sat down before climbing into her lap.

Tallis watched as Erik wrapped his arms about Michael. She smiled down at Gabriel as she wrapped her own arms about him.

"How would you like to have a little brother or sister?" Erik asked.

"Why?" Michael wanted to know.

Tallis smiled down at the curious face that was looking up at her. "Because Mama is going to have another baby," she said with a smile.

"Baby!" Michael chortled delightedly, his hands going over his mouth.

Tallis raised her eyes from Gabriel to look at Erik, their eyes meeting, unspoken pain and fears in their gazes.

And Gabriel watched his parents. He did not understand what was happening between them but it did not go unnoticed.