Here's the second fic (or part two, if you will). Set after episode 2x07, The Substitute.
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Conversations with his smarter self
I will kill you. Seriously, I will kill you? What were you thinking? Dave Karofsky slammed the door of his locker close with more force than was really necessary, but the sound didn't do anything to block out all his thoughts, which had decided to gang up on him. Azimio gave him a puzzled look but he ignored it.
"Gotta go, need to be home early today," Dave replied when Azimio asked if they'd go out. the other jock looked surprised, but then nodded and said something starting with "whatever" that Dave wasn't interested in hearing.
I will kill you. The words floated around his head as he headed to the parking lot, and he had to stop himself from punching the wall on the way. That was part of the problem, really, his brain, which seemed smarter than usual now that it had decided to keep bugging him, interfered. Your first and only solution to a problem is to punch it. Well, most of the time.
You're nothing but a scared little boy! Oh, great, now the death threat was replaced by Hummel's voice, and it wasn't making things better. Yes, it had been the only time Dave had used something other than his fists to make a problem go away, and look how that had turned out. He'd… He'd kissed Hummel. He'd fucking kissed Kurt fucking Hummel.
Even thinking about it made him flinch. Kissing Hummel, that was… It was wrong, that's what it was. He should've punched the kid, should've sent him crashing to the ground, should've… But how could he punch Kurt Hummel, who was everything he hated but also everything he wanted? Dave wasn't even sure anymore if he wanted Hummel or wanted to be like him. Probably a bit of both.
So the solution is first to kiss him, then to threaten his life. You realize that a death threat is something he could inform to the principal, his brain piped in, and Dave wondered where the word 'inform' had come from. You didn't say stuff like 'inform' instead of 'tell' unless you wanted to be called a geek and get punched in the locker room. But that wasn't important now. What was important was the word 'kill' that he'd hissed at Hummel's face.
He'd had to say it. Hummel had told him that the secret was safe, but he'd already told that pretty boy whose picture was in his locker, so why wouldn't he tell everyone else? Hummel couldn't be trusted.
Couldn't be trusted? Hummel told you that he hadn't told anyone, since he knows what you're going through. And about that 'pretty boy', as you so elegantly put it, is probably the only person Hummel can rely on. You kissed Hummel, he panicked, since he didn't want that, and told his friend. One friend. Can we now get to the part when Hummel tells you he hasn't told anyone else and instead of thanking him, or simply walking away, you decide to threaten his life? Dave's thoughts found their second wind and rushed to pound in his forehead, actually causing him headache.
I had to seemed like the wrong answer, since it was. He'd panicked and the words had flowed out without him thinking about them, but that wasn't any kind of excuse. He knew it because he'd turned to look back as he'd reached the end of the corridor and Hummel had been still standing in the same place and Dave had realized that maybe Hummel really had believed his words. Maybe Hummel really thought that Dave could kill him.
And what really frightened Dave was that he wasn't sure if he really could or couldn't.
You wouldn't. Trust me, you wouldn't, his thoughts tried to sound convincing, but Dave had gotten so good at lying to himself that it was hard to know whether that was the truth. The answer needed to be I couldn't kill anyone, but he wasn't certain how he could get there, not when there was the fear wrapping its claws around his heart, tightening its grip every moment. Not when seeing Hummel made him sad, happy and angry at the same time.
I'm not sure it gets better any time soon, his thoughts said, and Dave closed his eyes, fighting back tears. Me neither, he replied.