I wake up way too late the next morning. I look at clock, realizing I only have 45 minutes to get ready and get to brunch. I get up, looking for Sam. I see that he has left me a note saying he had to run to a last minute shift. "Ugh," I mutter to myself. He was supposed to come to brunch.

I shower quickly, throwing on a pair of jeans and a white tank top and run out the door.

When I get off the subway I walk briskly to the restaurant, arriving about a half hour late. I see Robbie wave to me as I get inside, and am pleased to see Cosima sitting with my bandmates. There is an empty chair next to her, so I sit down and flash her a smile.

I find that I can barely focus on what people are saying. Maybe I have too much on my mind. Maybe I'm a little bit hungover. Maybe it's the fact that Cosima is sitting inches away from me and that is making my heart pound out of my chest. What is wrong with me? We just met. I have a boyfriend. But this woman makes me feel alive, excited.

Felix starts talking about art exhibits, which catches my ear and I bring up the installation at MoMA that I want to see. When Cosima expresses interest, I jump on the opportunity to spend more time with her. I invite her to go with me tomorrow and she agrees. I feel a flutter in my heart when she says yes and I feel a little giddy.

I give her a hug before parting, and notice how tiny and soft she feels in my arms as I embrace her.

As I walk away, I think about how Sam and I were supposed to spend the day together. He already has to work tomorrow, so I am now alone for the entire weekend. Well, at least I have plans with Cosima tomorrow.

I am frustrated, annoyed with Sam. He always does this. Putting himself and his needs above mine. I need to blow off some steam. I decide to walk home to Brooklyn. I have nothing else to do anyway.

It's a gorgeous day so I head south, finding the bridge. I look out over the water as I cross. The sun is reflecting as far as I can see, and it provides me with a feeling of solace. I stop and stand against the railing, gazing out.

I hear a giggle to my right. I look to see a woman with short brown hair standing close to another woman with shoulder length hair, their arms wrapped tightly around each other, one woman leaning the other one on the railing as they share a sweet kiss. I look at them in awe. They seem so in love. I try to think about the last time I felt that way with Sam. I hadn't felt it in a long time. I'm not sure if I ever felt it. They look so smitten with each other, like nothing else in the world around them matters. I want that.

As I watch the shorter woman bring her hand up to the taller woman's face, my mind goes to Cosima. I think about what it would be like to touch her face, to feel her hands on my hips, to pull her in for a kiss. I close my eyes for a moment and imagine it.

I imagine how nice her skin would be against mine, thinking it would be so different than anything I've felt before. I can picture tracing it with my fingers, soft curves instead of hard lines. I can feel my hands running through her hair, wondering what it would be like to feel her body press into mine. Her kind eyes gazing into mine with a sweetness that would make me melt. I imagine how she might touch me...god, what would that feel like?

I snap myself out of it as a man on a bike whizzes past me. This is crazy. It's not like I have never had feelings for a woman before, but I've never actually been with a woman. There's just something that draws me in about Cosima. Her friendly smile, her eyes, the way her clothes fall off of her curves. Oh god, I feel myself getting warmer. I smile as I shake my head in disbelief.

I continue my journey home. It takes me a couple hours, and by the time I get to my apartment, I am sweaty and exhausted. I hop in the shower, resolving to have a lazy day as I lay down to take a nap.

The next day, I arrive at the museum early. I fidget with the straps on my bag as I wait for her to arrive. I'm nervous.

When I see her approach, my heart starts beating fast. She looks so cute I almost can't bear it.

I pull her in for a brief moment of contact before we go inside. I am very excited to see this exhibit. She follows me in and allows me to lead us through the displays. Whenever I talk about one of the pieces, her eyes light up at me, and she smiles her toothy grin. I can't handle it when she giggles; I feel shivers run through my entire body.

I don't want my time with her to end, so I end up asking her to lunch. I am ecstatic when she says yes, and we end up talking through the meal. I learn that she's a science teacher, and I internally squeal at this because I love how geeky that is.

I tell her about my work, my writing, my music, and she listens intently. The way her eyes look at me through her glasses, it makes me blush.

As we walk out, I realize I don't know when I'll see her again. I take a deep breath.

"Cosima, can I get your phone number?" I ask, "I had a good time. I like spending time with you. Maybe we can hang out again." I have to see you again.

"Yeah, of course. Me too. I mean, I had a really good time with you too," she answers. She is adorable.

I leave the museum with a light feeling in my chest. I can't stop grinning. I head home as I have some writing to do for a few blogs that I'm working with.

I know Sam will probably come over later, but I find myself less and less excited about that. It's silly really. Why am I focusing all my thoughts on this woman I just met? I shouldn't be trying to push my own boyfriend out of my mind.

When I get home, I write for hours, pausing only to make myself dinner and sit back to relax with a glass of wine. I find myself getting tired and end up dozing off on the couch. It's about 11pm when I hear a knock at my door.

I get up to find Sam standing in my hallway.

He immediately pushes his way in. "What the fuck, Delphine?"

"What?" I ask, confused, and a little out of it from just having woken up.

"You haven't answered any of my texts all day."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I say as I realize I haven't looked at my phone all day. I had it on silent mode ever since the museum and never bothered to change it back.

"Jesus, I've been texting you all night to see if I could come here," he spits, with anger in his voice.

"Ok, I said I'm sorry. I didn't look at my phone. I was just relaxing and then I fell asleep," I yell, getting annoyed. "You're here now, aren't you?"

He scowls at me. "You know, Delphine, I'm fucking sick of this shit. You seem like you're just ignoring me all the time."

I don't know what to say to him. I also don't know where this is coming from. He's the one who ignores me, who only focuses on himself.

"Excuse me? I am always thinking of you. You're the one who acts selfishly all the time, only caring about your work, and your things. You can never even make it to any of my shows!" I scream at him, feeling the anger boil inside me.

"Ugh, whatever Delphine, maybe it's because you're chasing some stupid dream that will never happen. When are you going to grow up?"

At this point, I'm ready to lose it, but I'm so tired, so it's hard for me to focus. "Sam, get out of here. I can't do this right now," I shout. "Get the fuck out!"

"Fine, whatever," he snarls as he leaves, slamming the door behind him.

I break down immediately and sob. What the fuck is his problem? Why do I feel like this? This isn't normal, fighting all the time. This hurts, his words hurt. My body hurts. I don't want to feel this anymore. I'm so confused. Confused by everything I feel, confused by my feelings...for Cosima. I let my mind wander for a second as I fantasize about her kindness comforting me, holding me, and wiping my tears away. I shake my head, even more confused, knowing I shouldn't have these thoughts, not while I'm with Sam.

I am getting more and more tired by the moment and my tears are draining the rest of my energy, so I fall into bed, choking back my sobs as I attempt to get some rest.