Well hello there, dear friends! Here's an additional chapter of 'Smashtype'. I originally meant for the project to be a single chapter long, but I feel as if I didn't stress something enough. Contrary to the words of a beloved friend, I didn't highlight Snake's stereotype (or Smashtype) well enough. XD Hopefully, with this chapter, I'll be able to bring it some justice. Perhaps I'll work on the additional Smashtypes in the future, transforming this into a full-grown project.

Thank you for reading Captain Falcon's research. XD It means a lot to him!

Warning: Boy/boy relationships will be featured in this composition. If you cannot at least be tolerant of yaoi, then steer away from my work. Thanks for your consideration, though.

This meant to be a jolly, fun project. Although my dislike for this fandom is strong, I bear no will against any author. Please don't take Falcon's research TOO seriously. XD Just relax and have fun.

The second day of research has arrived. I was foolish to assume my work had been completed! The world's greatest discoveries cannot be made within a few hours, dear shirelings! I must take additional steps to greatness. Then, and only then, will all worlds recognize me as a genius! With this new day, I will surpass Albert Einstein himself! All will tremble before me, on the side of me, and before me! All will be breathless once this research is complete! So I hope you're all prepared, kiddies, because you're about to be amazed! My hawtness will thrill you, consume you and captivate you!

Ahem ahem ahem. Today, I have decided to extend the explanation of Solid Snake's Smashtype. Not enough of my wisdom was shared in a single day, so more will be given. I will place Solid Snake in his natural habitat, after ordering him to work under his Smashtype rules. Then I'll throw him a bone, pet him and buy him a collar. He is the most adorable thing alive, don't you think? He probably has the most adorable bark!

Where will the other Smashers be, you ask? Well, they'll be on and off the set, polishing my research. They'll be the ones to secure all operations. I was going to ask one of them to accompany Snake, but none of them would be stupid enough to throw themselves into explosions and gunfire. I didn't want to throw Samus in, because I would have endangered my eye candy. Besides, Snake doesn't want partners anyway-and once my work begins, you'll find out why. Dun dun dun!

In an army base that sat in the middle of nowhere, a bunch of military soldiers fulfilled their duties. They would have been in the middle of Alaska, but the Falcon Foundation couldn't chart the army fleet out that far. So I cast it into oblivion. At least I was able to reunite Snake with old friends!

Colonel Roy Campbell was in the main hub, wearing a hundred metals. He was born in the dinosaur era, but he still found enough time to dish out orders. "Snake," he began slowly-very slowly. "There's some stuff you need to do. I need you to destroy a base full of robots, and take down Psychotic Bullfrog. If you don't survive, we'll use government funding to replace you. Do you understand?"

Snake (with a look that pretty much said 'wtf?') gave a response. "Am I not supposed to?"

"No. But even if you did, it wouldn't matter. Oh, and by the way, there's a really pretty girl you need to rescue. I'm sure you'll have fun meeting her, as she'll satisfy all of your needs!"

"Wait a minute," Snake said in alarm, holding up his hands. "Her name wouldn't be Meryl by any chance, would it?"

Campbell nodded, then returned to ultra-slow mode. "Yes, Snake. Her name is Meryl. She is my daughter. She's been waiting for the chance to meet the legendary Solid Snake. Do you comprehend?"

Looking as if he had swallowed fried bullfrogs, Snake released a heavy sigh. His question was directed to Shiek of the Shiekahs. Don't ask me where Zelda went. "Can I quit now?"

Shiek held a finger to her lips, beaming at her friend's misery. "No! Keep it up. You're doing fine, Snake!"

"You cannot quit, Snake," Roy stated urgently. "The world needs you and your prowess! Of course we'd do just fine without you, because all we have to do is pull a set of your genes out and we're good to go. The cloning process would only take a few hours, thanks to today's technology."

"Gee, thanks," Snake scowled, slapping a hand against his forehead. Then, like a good doggy, he returned to the script. "Where are my cigs? I need them before I do my business."

By the magical psychotic powers of Mewtwo, Snake's cigarettes were flown into Snake's hand. A lighter followed soon after. "Thanks," the mercenary said happily, removing a pair of cigarettes from the box. They were slowly lit and placed inside of an eager mouth. "Aaaaah, nitrogen," he said with an ecstatic sigh. "Life can't get any better than this."

Fox nudged Samus in the ribs. "Um...isn't it 'nicotine'?"

"Somebody didn't memorize their lines. They're also failing to use their brain," Samus replied with a roguish smile, eyes twinkling. Man alive, she was beautiful. "Who would stick nitrogen in a cigarette?"

Falco slumped against a wall, defeated and miserable. "Are those even real cigarettes?"

Link (with Navi perched on his shoulder) shook his head. "Nah uh. They're just imitations. Snake said he didn't want the real thing. He doesn't want to chop years off his life with Leon. And now we've got to get moving to Shadow Moses. The next phase of Falcon's research takes place there."

And so, in the legendary Shadow Moses base, Snake faced his greatest mission ever! It was a mission unlike anything he had ever faced, ladies and kittens! It was the mission to end all missions, plain and simple! It was-

"One of the stupidest pieces of shit I've been asked to deal with," Snake grumbled, wiping snow off his OctoCamo suit. He was inside of the awesome Shadow Moses, searching for the things that would bring world destruction. He didn't show a bit of fear, for he was Solid Snake! He was the world's greatest bad-ass, womanizer, drinker, smoker and copy of Big Boss! Did his brother appreciate that reputation? No! Of course he didn't! Liquid Snake was angrier than the angriest of dragons! He was jealous! Envious! And downright handsome!

"SNAKE! You have finally arrived, brotheeeeer!"

Snake quickly found his brother, who triumphantly stood several yards away. "Oh no..."

"You must learn the truth behind your heritage, brotheeeer! You are a useless, meaningless sack of despicable garbage! You're nothing but a clone, a killer, a..."

Thirty minutes later...

"And that's what you are, brotheeer! You are an inferior puppet, and I shall surpass you!"

Any one of us would have been traumatized. Any one of us would have been tear-stricken, enraged or downright confused. You wouldn't be thrilled if your brother called you 'inferior', now would you? And being called a 'puppet' would definitely scar you for life! I would definitely need therapy! How did Snake respond to the truth? Was he any of those things? Did the disgusting, horrible truth behind his birth sicken him? Well, did it?

"Yeah yeah yeah. That's all very nice. Can I go now?"

"No, brother. Not yet! First you must defeat me! Then you'll see how inferior you are to me!"

"Well, he had that backwards," Ike snickered, sharing his words with Marth (and staying far away from Pit). A battle soon began onstage, and it quickly ended. Snake only had to land a single punch to achieve victory! He was, after all, the invincible Solid Snake! He was immortal! Legendary! Unstoppable! Fierce!

"Any more of this and I'm out of here..." Snake grumbled, scowling at his brother's crumbled body. He turned to continue his mission, only to find the incredibly adorable Octagon-oops, Otacon-at his side. He was aglow with adoration for the one and only hero!

"Wow, Snake! You were abso-freakin'-lutely amazing! You're the shit!"

"Just a little more, Snake," Shiek called out from behind the set, seeing the look of strained tolerance on her friend's face. "Keep it up! Remember, this is all for Falcon!"

"My name's Otacon," the new guy said, extending his hand for a handshake. Apparently, he forgot his real name (Hal Emmerich). "Hi! We're gonna be partners from now on! We're gonna have so much fun, Snake!"

"Why does everyone talk to me like I'm a freakin' two year old?! I'm not romping off to Disneyland, thank you very much!"

"Aww, Snake. You're so mean...but that makes you even cooler! You rock!"

Launching back into his Smashtype script, Snake took out another cigarette-and pretty much inhaled its contents. "I don't need you, you obnoxious freak. I don't need any partners, and I sure as Hell don't need any friends. These babies are my friends, right here," he said proudly, holding up his cigarette box. Otacon, looking very much like a defeated puppy, gave a response.

"But you'll need an assistant. You can't work these missions alone. I can provide support!"

"Whatever. Let's get moving."

A minute later, Roy Campbell contacted Snake via communicator. "Snake," he began, resuming uber slow mode. "There's some stuff in the inferno you need to deactivate. It's about 200 degrees Farenheit in there, but you'll be all right. If you don't make it, well then...none of us will really care. Any questions?"

"Yeah. I've got one. Why doesn't anyone give a flying rat's ass about MY needs?!"

Shiek lifted a finger, calling out to her friend from beyond the set. "Snaaake, stick to the script!"

"I'm tired of the damned script! I'm sick and tired of idiotic losers using me to meet their own ends! And what's with me being such a dipshit?! If I'm such a boring jackass, why are the Metal Gear Solid games so freakishly popular?!"

Sonic scratched his head, lost in deep thought. "Um...can't really say for sure. Maybe people are just into the art?"

"Snake posed a good question," Fox said, nodding with folded arms. "If the MGS games are so monotonous, why are they so famous?"

"Maybe people like Otacon," Princess Peach put in helpfully, eyes brighter than diamonds. "He is nice and cuddly."

"OH EMMA! NAOMI! WHY?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME?! WHY?! OH, I'M NEVER GETTING LAID! EVER!"

The Mushroom Kingdom's princess clasped her hands together. "See? Don't you just want to love him?"

"Snaaaake..." Otacon mewed, pawing at Snake's arm. "I'm lonely. My sister died because I had an affair with my stepmother."

"You know what?! Who the hell cares?! I sure as hell don't, and since I'm not supposed to give a damn about anything or anyone, HERE!"

RIght there, in a flash of fury, Solid Snake whipped out a freakin' big gun. "I'm sick and tired of everyone's bullcrap, so take this!"

"CUT," my awesome and phenomenal director cried out, and then something amazing happened. An all-mighty ninja crash-landed onto the scene, swinging onto the scene via a rope. With an incredible kick, he kicked Snake's gun right out of Snake's hand! "Stop right there," the ninja cried out, taking up an awesome ninja stance. "You'll go no further, enemy of mine!"

"I don't even know who the hell you are, dumb ass!"

The ninja placed his hands together, menacing and dangerous. "The name's Ryu. Ryu...Hayabusa. And don't you forget it, my fellow dumb ass."

"All right. That's it. I've had it! Prepare to die, you moronic sack of-"

The Falcon Committee wishes to cut away from the Solid Snake research, in favor of lighter material. Now we shall give you the Marth/Ike Smashtype! Yes yes, couples have stereotypes too. Stereotypes go across a wide variation of varieties! Aren't they amazing?!

"Ike, my dear Ike, why won't you love me? I love you more than life itself! I am on my knees, begging you to love me!"

"I cannot love you, Prince. I am not meant to love anyone. I must keep to my duties."

"Bloody hell," Marth snarled, rising to his feet. In the distance, several Toads applauded. "Way to go, Marth," Princess Rosalina cheered. "You weren't even close to Snake's progress!"

"Yeah," Bowser threw in. "At least ol' Snake boy made it mid-point! You didn't get past a single sentence!"

"Well, I can certainly see why," the Prince of Altea grumbled, heart growling with anger. "Look at the horrid sloth we must deal with! Snake's locked in a dastardly world of filth, I'm doomed to love a heartless codger-"

"No offense taken," Ike said, raising a hand.

"There's another option open for you," Wolf informed the prince, reading through a scroll of Falcon's research. "According to our leader, you can shack up with either Zelda or Samus."

"At this point, I'll happily shack up with myself," Marth groaned, shaking his head. "And here's another idea. Why don't we form a parade of intercourse between myself, Pit, Ike and Link? I'm sure audiences of the Smash fandom would love it!"

Dedede frowned. "There's a little problem with that, Marthy boy. You kinda forgot about the 'stay away from yaoi' rule. Writers are supposed to follow that for true success, remember?"

"Bloody freakin'-"

The Falcon Committee would like to apologize for the trouble. Research has gotten a little heavy, dear audience, so the amazing Falcon must leave you here. If additional research is to be composed, then it shall be revealed. For now, ladies and gentlemen, I bid you good morning!

This was composed to the Mario Party 6 OST and Super Mario 64 OST.

References were made to two of the MGS adventures: the first MGS and MGS4. I read how Otacon called Snake 'the shit' once, and I almost fell out of my chair with a massive migraine. Really, how utterly annoying. XD That just gave more grounds to the Snake Smashtype!

Thanks for reading. XD I really feel like I did Snake's Smashtype justice, so I feel much better now. I might have done a little MGS bashing, but don't read too much into it. XD As I said before, this project was done all in good fun! And I adore the MGS series. I've been madly in love with it for I don't know how long now, and I'm obsessed with MGS4!

I'm contemplating the continuation of this project, highlighting other Smashtypes. In the meantime, thanks for reading these two chapters. It really means a lot!

Lots of love to you all. XD