"You don't have to worry about anything Mr Strider." The woman in the purple dress suit smiled down at the blonde teen. She was the type of woman who seemed to rarely not have a grin on her mug. She rang the doorbell. In her arms were a vanilla folder and noticing that a sheet was slightly out of place she opened it up shook it until everything was in place and then fixed her hair. It was done in a bob cut that had obviously been straightened "The Louds are a lovely couple with quite a few kids of their own. They're very excited to meet you."
Beyond the door there was a shout before a series of banging could be heard. Dave kept his hands in his pockets and just shrugged, "Whatever you say Doc."
"Hey. Hello?" The footsteps stopped and the door jingled before cracking open. There stood a girl with brown hair in a ponytail, around Dave's age. She had a baseball in her hand and a bat over her shoulder. The girl raised her eyebrow as she looked up at the woman. She took a quick glance at him.
"Young lady. Is Mr and Mrs Loud here?" The woman in the suit greeted. The girl let out a drawn out 'ah' before she answered.
"Ya, they're right up stairs lady. Getting ready." She stepped aside. She shouted upwards to the stairs that weren't far away. "Hey mom, dad. I think they're here."
She tossed the ball in the air and let it drop back into her palm. The three of them stood where they were for a bit, before the brown haired girl pointed to a close by coach, "You can go crash on the couch if you want. I think they wanted you to wait there anyway."
The woman in the dress suit's eyes crinkled before she stepped pass her and dropped her behind onto the sofa with a soft plop. Dave walked towards the girl and looked at the ball at it bounce up and down. "So yo, you're Barry Bonds or something?"
She spat out a bit of air. Her eyes rolled, "Please give it time and I can outplay anyone in the Major League. Or NBA, NFL, NHL."
"Damn, I get it. You're gonna go hit some runs during the footsball bowl." She probably would've went on if he didn't interrupt. If he was impressed or not, it was hard to tell. "Gonna show some of those 1980s jocks what a girl can do. Like some rich white guy with a sweater tied round his neck is gonna mock you cause of that double X chromosome you got. That when you bean them in the nads with a baseball."
"Ya I'm like the best there is." She said slowly. Her face didn't express amusement but it didn't look like irk either. She tossed the ball up one more but this time allowed it to drop straight down to the floor. She reached over to him, "So what's with the specs?"
The cool kid flicked his head back, narrowing avoiding the girl's hands brushing against his signature eyewear, "Hey hold up. You can't just go straight for a cool guy's shades. They're a symbol. Plus they're here to protect you."
"What's going to happen. I'm going to turn to stone or something?" She mocked a smile, not looking at all impressed.
"I'm just trying to warn you. I have them on and you were already getting handsy. Soon folks are going to come out of the woodworks just to tackle me like I'm selling deodorant and body spray. I'm so fresh, they'll be trying to pluck out strains of my hair. Next thing you know you'll find them on ebay going to some girl who needs to finish up her dakimakura."
"What?" She was speechless. The girl didn't know what to expect but this wasn't how she imagine the conversation to go. It had been a very sudden shift.
"Shit. Bet that girl has a whole shrine of me. Hidden away like some ritualistic sacrifice to the weeb gods without any of the biting commentary and irony that the monument to my sinful good looks deserve."
"Sheesh." She stopped him there. Twisting her wrist she allowed the tip of the bat to hit the ground before laying it against the railing of the stairs. She took a step up, "I'm going to go check on what's taking my folks so long."
Dave didn't outwardly acknowledge her exit, not even with a nod. Instead he turned his head to one side, walked over to the coach and then turned and looked towards another side, "I just want to point out that there is a severe lack of cheap katanas up in here."
"Well Dave. That's a good thing." The woman had watched his short exchange, her gaze never left him as they entered the home. She patted the cushion next to her and the kid sunk back into the sofa.
"I feel repressed doc. Like I'm a hot blooded Texan. Isn't this going against my second amendment right, right to bear shitty Japanese swords made in China? Swords don't kill people doc. People kill people. Preferably with swords cause they're badass."
There was a creak on the steps and both the woman and child were alerted. There stood a woman with blonde hair and a man with brown hair. There wasn't as much of it as there could be, but what was up there was brown. The woman gasped as if she wasn't expecting her guess and let loose and big smile, "Oh Doctor Baron. So glad to finally see you."
The two adults stepped off onto leveled ground and the man held onto the woman's shoulder. She reached back and instinctively interlaced her fingers with his hand. The man who must've been Mr Loud waved at the two and smiled so wide that you could see down his throat, "Hey remember me. Old Lynn Loud. Good to connect the voice to a face."
"And this must be Dave." The woman cooed, letting go of her husband's paw.
"Ya." Dave stood up and shrugged as if he wasn't completely committed to his own name.
"How was your flight?"
"It was cool."
"Did you get a good look around the neighborhood."
"A bit."
"Dave why don't you tell Mrs and Mr Loud a little bit about yourself?" The doctor stood and took the kid by the shoulders.
"We'd be happy to hear it. Come on sit down" Mr Loud spoke, inviting them to the sofa as it they hadn't taken liberties with the seating device a few moments prior.
"Come on, I wanna see." Lana pushed against her siblings back. She hoped to get past then to the railing where the adults down below failed to spot them. She couldn't get far in.
"Dude seems pretty normal." Luna whispered. She gave a side glance to the rest of the Louds.
Lori gave her a small glare, before rolling her eyes, "What were you expecting, three arms?"
That didn't stop her from staring down as intensely as the rest of the pack were.
"That would make shopping like totally impossible." The idea was a regular horror story for Leni. Though she was sure that if she had three arms that she would find a way to make it work.
Lincoln nudged one of his brown haired sisters, "Lynn, you got to talk to him. How was he?"
"Man, I don't know. It was only for a minute and it was weird. Like I have no idea what the guy was talking about." She had no idea how to describe the guy really. That would meant that she understood the conversation, "At one point he mention something, like a dokimori, dukemura-"
"Dakimakura?" Lincoln offered, a bit too quickly.
"Ya what's that?" Lynn clearly had no idea what Pandora's box that line of questioning could open. She leaned towards Lincoln, honestly curious.
"Um" Was the only really sound he could make.
"Yowch" Lola shouted, a sweet a distraction, "Lana bit-"
Lola found herself dragged by her dress. In one smooth mostly Lori had grasped the cloth silently rushed back into Luna and Luan's room. The others didn't have to be told to follow. Lori threw the pageant princess onto Luan's bed, the sound of a whoopee cushion was proof that she hit the mark. The oldest closed the door gently, keeping her ear out for any shouts. It seems like no one noticed her sister's outburst.
Lori loomed at Lola would was rubbing her behind before moving her sights onto Lana. She bared her teeth.
"What? I wanted to see." Lana complained.
Lori extended her finger, stopping just short of actually touching her sister, "Well now no one gets to see otherwise it'll look like we were spying."
"Wait I'm confuse." Leni raised her hand as if she was in a classroom.
"That's not surprising." Lori said bluntly.
"I thought we were spying."
"We were." Lori's face met her palm.
Lynn groaned, "Mom and dad are definitely going to be on the lookout now."
"Well I don't know how these things work but aren't they suppose to introduce the kid to the family?" Luna turned and looked through the crowd of her brother and sisters.
"It doesn't matter either way. If we see him now or in the coming week, he will be spending a great deal of time in our residence. Clamoring to get a look at the subject is unnecessary." Lisa leaned against Luan's bed. Her glasses slide down her nose, forcing her to slide the oversized spectacles back up.
"You're not the least bit curious?" Lincoln asked.
"No I am, but I haven't fully freshed out the list of test I want him to go through. An error I will amend by the time his stay is permanent." Lisa answered.
Lincoln wanted to say something to that but didn't know the exact way to put it softly, "Hey Lisa, maybe you shouldn't"
"Why must your social quirks get in the way of progress?" Lisa rolled her eyes. She crossed her eyes and pouted.
"I'm just saying, mom said that everything here has to be nice and safe, right?" The brother explained, using his mother's words.
"My experiments are perfectly-" Lisa paused, "They completely utterly-"
She looked at each kid in turned before finally admitting, "Okay you all know that I wear a wig."
"Ya, um, I didn't want to bring it up, but shouldn't we see a doctor about that?" Luna voiced her concern.
Lisa rejected the idea, "Nah it's fine. Probably."
"Medical emergencies aside. Lincoln's right. Foster kids usually go through some shiz and I'm not going to be here 24/7 to wrangle you guys until you're under control." Lori called them to attention, "If I have to come in here cause one of you guys cause some kind of psychological break down there will be hell to pay."
"Hey chill. We can be intense but we're not insensitive. Besides between all of us bringing our crews over, name one time we got a complaint." Luna dropped onto her own bed. She continued before anyone could answer her. "Not from the neighbors. From our guest. Lori's last party doesn't count. Sorry."
There was truth in that. They had a bunch of neighbors complain about their youthful excitement as their mother might've called it but it wasn't like any of their friends had complain when they came over. Hell they would've spent a lot more time over if it wasn't such a headache for their folks.
"Ya, if there's one thing we can do is foster a good environment." Luan giggled. Everyone else in the room did their best to ignore her.
"We can be good." Lana smiled confidently.
"I won't even force him to dress up." Lola nodded before recently "For a week anyway."
"Good. Cause I'm holding you to that." Lori would make sure of it, before turning to the group, "As for the rest of you. Maybe be a little bit less you."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Lynn frowned and crossed her arms.
"Lisa as Lincoln said no experiments. Luan no pranks. Luna maybe turn down the music a bit." The named girls nodded. The nodded reluctantly, but they nodded all the same, "Lincoln stop talking to your paranoid hallucinations."
When no one was paying attention Lincoln had started chatting with the reader. He was giving the reader the biggest smile as if he hadn't been having a serious conversation with his sisters, "Here in the Loud House, my parents might be in charge but it sometimes it seems like Lori's the boss."
"Ya that. None of that starting tomorrow." Lori pointed out the very behavior that she demanded to be soft banned, "I swear I don't want that to spread that to the new kid like it did Ronnie Ann. Bobby knows you so he understands and for the most part his family thinks it's pretty cute how she shares her boyfriend's quirk but like her grandmother thinks she's possessed by the devil or something."
"Excuse me," Lincoln shook out of his trance like state in order to address reality. He frowned, visibly insulted, "This is a legit coping mechanism."
"No it's not." Lisa stated.
Lynn shrugged, "You have a PHD in Psychology or something?"
"No but I do possess common sense."
Lori waved her arms, catching everyone's eyes. "Doesn't matter. Having none of it. Agreed?"
"Yes Lori." They all agreed.
"Oh Lori, what should I do?" Leni's hand was once again in the air. She bounced on her tip toes. Her smile was bright.
"Leni," Lori paused. She hadn't really expect to give instructions, just restrictions. She took a moment to think, before smiling gently at her, "Just try to be the best older sister that you can be."