Title: Burdens

Rating: M

Summary: The First War with Voldemort is climaxing offering no hope to any of those on the Light side. So from where does one get the courage and will to continue fighting? Follow our favourite Order members through their struggles during this difficult time. A/U.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything about the Potter magical world. I can claim credit for the portal of the characters, but the actual concept of these characters and others mentioned belong to the wonderful genius, J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Two: Surviving

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The door creaked open a jar before it was flung open with force. Normally, in such a circumstance, she would have reached over to the nightstand for her wand and had it at the ready in a mere second. Anything could have blasted that door open, and most likely it wasn't a friend, but rather a foe. However, instead of reacting much, Lily groaned loudly and drew a spare pillow to cover her head. "Go away," she grumbled.

It was hot. It was the hottest summer on record in over twenty years. Of course, with her luck, it would be the hottest summer. Though it was only just about a quarter past eight in the morning, her red hair was already damp with sweat. She felt hot, clammy and much like a beached whale. She couldn't roll over with ease, nor stand or move without help really. She willed this to be a nightmare, though it seemed to be the morning routine. James and Dumbledore left on their mission nearly a month ago, leaving poor, pregnant Lily Potter by herself- well, in the care of the other three Marauders.

"Nonsense!" chimed a voice that could only belong to Sirius Black. He crossed the room and plopped down on the bed next to the grumpy Lily. Gingerly, he plucked the pillow away from her face and threw it at Peter Pettigrew, the odd ball of the foursome, in Lily's humble opinion. "You look dreadful in the mornings. No wonder why Prongs left." His smile full of crooked teeth told her that he was teasing her, as always, but this was too much for her.

Luckily Peter swooped into the room, saving Sirius arse from a serious hexing. "Rise and shine, Lils," he started a bit more apprehensive. "You cannot sleep June away, you know." He offered a ratty smile, approaching the bed on the other side. The rat opened his mouth once more, but Sirius cut him off.

"You know," Padfoot continued beginning to poke at Lily's overly large abdomen, which was now nearing it's final month of gestation. "Based on the size of you, you'd think you were having an entire litter of Prongsies."

Lily groaned and hit Sirius over the head. "GET OUT!" she cried, exhausted and frustrated. She resented James- loathed him for making her into this state of pregnancy and depression. And she hated his mates. HATED them. "OUT OUT OUT!" she gasped, nearly running out of air because her belly was so large it squished all her other internal organs.

She was on the brink of tears when the third entered the room. Remus (fondly known as Moony) was her favourite of the three. He was quiet and thoughtful, and he seemed to be the most caring and least stupid. He had the smallest ego and the biggest heart. And he seemed to understand and listen to Lily's frustrations and angers, even before she married James. He was the only one she'd talk to about her childhood friend all the Marauders seemed to hate. Remus seemed to understand and honour her past relationships.

"You heard the woman," Remus announced softly. People didn't seem to mess with him. He didn't speak often or loud, but when he did, he could take command of a room and the situation. It never seemed to fail him. Sirius slid off the bed and Peter trailed after him. Lily could hear them marching down the corridor and the stairs, and could almost picture their tails between their legs. "Good," Moony continued as he heard the stairs creek. He Summoned the breakfast tray he had been preparing and then locked the door to keep the other two out.

In the mean time, Lily sunk back down the bed, pulling the thin sheet over her head. She was still hoping this all was a nightmare and that she'd wake up in James' arms. "Don't!" she cried as she felt the sheets gently being tugged away. She found a concerned looking face staring down at her.

Remus sighed to himself. It had been like this every morning for a month. Sirius and Peter would bound into the room trying to get the emotional, sad woman out of bed any way they could before Remus would come swooping in. Lily hadn't been doing well since James left. She had a hard time sleeping (even considering the pregnancy, heat and threat at large) and she seemed to lack the motivation to care for herself. She took to being busy right away for a couple days until she realised that James really wasn't coming back for a while. Then she cried herself to sleep for three weeks. And here they were today.

Remus moved towards the bay windows and drew back the curtains, allowing the light to shine into the room. "It's going to be a hot one," he whispered offhand before moving to the tiny loo within the suite of the cottage. He dampened a washcloth with cool water before moving back to the bed. He dabbed the cold towel on Lily's brow and the back of her neck. He only let out a sigh of relief when he heard her breath relax. "You shouldn't go out too long today. It'll be too hot. You don't look well, either."

Lily snorted to herself. "Of course I don't look well. I'm eight and a half months pregnant in the hottest summer in nearly two decades, and my husband left me with a bunch of daft blokes who don't even know how to deal with my hormones. No offense, Rem," she added on second thought. "And I'm thirty pounds heavier than usual. My back hurts. My feet hurt. I can't stop sweating. I can't sleep. I'm never comfortable." She shook her head. And opened her mouth to continue, but Remus cut her off.

"-Well, you look better than I would if I was in your place," he said softly as he ran the cloth along Lily's brow again, frowning at the beads of sweat that managed to appear in the couple minutes from the first time he wiped her brow. Without waiting for a response, Remus set the cloth aside and pulled back the sheets. "Come on, let's get you up."

Lily shook her head though and groaned. "I don't want to get up," she whined softly, emerald eyes glistening with tears. She turned her head the other way. She couldn't move her body even if she wanted to. It was embarrassing enough that the three blokes pounced on her every morning while she was in a simple tank top that was far too small and danty little panties that left her entire leg to be exposed.

"I know," Remus mumbled. They went through this every morning. He placed a hand on her swollen belly. It was roughly the size of a Quaffle these days.... maybe even a Quaffle and a half. Lily was large. He was worried for her health. She refused to see a Healer since James left. She wasn't taking care of herself- just in complete denial of her situation. "He's quiet this morning. That means he kept you up all night, hmm?"

Lily bit her lip. She hated this. She hated everything and reverted to complete denial. She showed up at the last Order meeting declaring she wanted to go on a mission. McGonagall, the interim Head of the Order, was left speechless for the first time. Her wand had been drawn and ready for emphasis and Lily took in all the faces staring at her. Dumbledore hadn't let her attend the Order meetings for months now.

"Lily?" Remus questioned when she fell silent. He pulled her out of her reverie. Then he noticed the tears sliding down her cheeks. He sighed inaudibly and let himself sit on the bed next to her. Normally, he wouldn't cross this line but it seemed necessary today. "Lils, I miss him too but just laying down and not living your life isn't helping anyone. He'll be back, but if you don't start caring for yourself, you might not be able to show him your son. You really need to start letting us- well, at least me- help you out here." Remus frowned. "Are you listening to me?"

Lily choked back a silent sob. "The last thing I told him was that I hated him..." she whispered softly. "I can't do this anymore. I can't do this alone. I'm going to go find him whever he is and bring his sorry arse home."

Remus placed a hand on her shoulder. "No offense, Lils, but you can't even get up by yourself. Getting yourself killed isn't productive. We need your mind, anyways. No one else can work on those Healing Charms like you. The Order is really counting on you, and you haven't touched them since James left."

Lily sniffed. Remus was right. People were counting on her, but she was being selfish and didn't care. Remus stood from the bed. "I'll leave you alone now, but not for long. Marlene is coming over today for tea. I think she might bring Emmeline. And I'm going to make the blokes go to the pub for a pint or two and get them out of your hair." With that, Remus crossed the room. When he paused, he added, "Please try to eat something. At least some protein for the baby..." And then he exited, leaving Lily sobbing silently on the bed. This happened every morning.

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A few weeks later, around two in the morning, a large crashing sound could be heard from the second story of the modest Godric's Hollow cottage. Peter and Remus were both on duty for the Order, working on their separate missions, leaving Sirius with his special night project: Lily-watching. Sirius had thought it would be a good idea to have a pint or two at the pub in Lily's honour, so he stumbled home nearly ten minutes before the loud crash with alcohol on his breath and a pleasant, familiar spinning sensation in his head. Though when he heard the large noise, the slight buzz completely wore off. He took the stairs two at a time, wand extended ready for anything.

Lily couldn't fall asleep that evening. She finally had some time to herself, which she greatly needed, but the nights were the hardest. It was when she missed James the most. She hated that she was so dependent on him. She was a Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake.... strong-willed, stubborn and determined. But lately she was moodly, overly eomtional and needy- and she hated it. She couldn't sleep that night, much like every night. It was mid-July at this point, and hot and humid. Cooling Charms didn't help anymore, and she was miserable, but going through an intense nesting phase.

"Oh bloody hell!" she exclaimed as she watched from her position on the unsteady ladder as the curtain rod fell to the floor. Dumbledore, a long time ago, had ordered them not to use too much magic in the cottage. It could be tracked, and thus, they could be found. It made logical sense, though in her current state, it made everything so much more difficult.

Sirius rushed into the room. He rarely went in the spare room, which had been converted to a nursery these days. But when he saw Lily on the unsafe ladder, he shook his head and leaned against the doorframe, watching her struggle for but a moment. He knew she didn't know he was there. "You better watch your tounge when that baby can start to talk," he teased. What he didn't expect was to frighten her as much as he did, causing her to lose balance and slip off the ladder. He wasn't there in time to catch her from falling straight onto the curtain rod, but he was able to get to the ladder before it toppled on top of the heavily pregnant woman.

The room was eerily silent for a moment or two. Sirius, frozen with the ladder in hand, watch as Lily, wide-eyed, gasped for a breath of air, which had been knocked out of her. What he didn't expect, though, was for the woman (whom he deemed as strong considering she was a female) to cry out in pain, and roll to her side clutching her belly and withering around as if she were under an Unforgiveable Curse. "Oh bloody hell," he murmured, casting the ladder aside and falling to his knees. He took Lily's head in his lap and stroked her hair to try to calm her down.

Lily's eyes stung as the hot tears fell down her cheeks. She wasn't sure where this sharp pain originated from, but it was now centered in the middle of her rippling stomach. Her eyes widened. Labour? "Too soon..." she gasped out. It was too soon for the baby to come. The arms around her tightened. She turned her head to cry into Sirius' chest. "James... I want James.." she wailed.

Sirius bit his lip. They had no communication with the bloke in weeks. James was like a brother to Sirius. His heart ached for his better half to return, too. They sat like that for at least ten minutes. The pain quickly subsided, as did the panic. Sirius finally rose, pulling Lily into his arms. Though she had an extra thirty pounds on her, she was only one-hundred and thirty pounds. She was a very petite woman. He crossed the corridor, Lily in tow, and laid her on the bed before moving to the loo and fetching a vial of Dreamless Sleep. Merlin knew she needed it. He masked the label before forcing down her throat and explaining it was her prenatal potion that she always forgot to take. He sat in a rocker, then, and waited for the potion to take effect in the exhausted, frightened Lily.

Looking out the window, into the starry night sky, Sirius sighed. "Come home, Prongsies. She needs you bad." He wouldn't leave her... not tonight. Though he didn't manage to get a wink of sleep himself, he sat attentively doing his 'brother' duty by watching over his exhausted, fragile wife as she slept soundly (albeit, a forced sleep) for the first time in six weeks.

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Thanks for reading the first installment of this new FanFic! Please let me know what you think, any ideas or suggestions you might have, or anything else you want to say! I'm not sure if I'm going to continue with this, so your feedback is MOST appreciated.

Thank you, again, and PLEASE REVIEW!!