Thanks to inuyoukai24 for cleaning up this chapter! ((grins))
Will Someone Ever Understand?
Chapter 2
"I didn't realize there were so many scars," Sango mumbled, going through her gym locker absentmindedly to look for a top for Kagome, who was also sniffing through her locker for a clean pair of arm warmers.
Kagome sighed softly, ignoring her best friend while she dug through some dark, smelly clothing with a wrinkle of her nose. She seriously did not want to have this talk with Sango. Lately, the pain she had been feeling and all the shit that was going on in her life made it easier to turn to her sharp companion. Blue faraway orbs looked at the thin long and short slashes that decorated her arms, lingering on the ones that she'd made just this morning before getting ready for school.
"You need to stop this Kagome." Raising her voice slightly to pull Kagome back to her, Sango was now gripping a white tank-top so tightly that the whiteness was seeping into her knuckles. "I know that what you're doing is hard for you to stop, but you need to try… I don't know if I can avoid going to someone for –…"
"If you tell anyone, I won't ever talk to you again Sango," Kagome snapped angrily.
Gasping in surprise to see that Kagome would actually say that, Sango searched her friend's orb quietly before throwing the small top at Kagome and then getting to her feet and walking off in silence.
Shame was consuming Kagome. It was hard enough to let Sango in on what she was doing, but that itself couldn't be helped. Sango was the one who caught Kagome cutting herself one night when she made a surprise visit to her home. The fear, guilt and ignominy was drowning Kagome's very soul the moment she saw the disgust, laced with shock, clouding the face of her one and only true friend. Sango was there to help her, give her words of wisdom while at the same time trying in vain to get her to stop. At first, Kagome thought stopping would be as easy as counting to three, but she was proven wrong countless of times.
Cutting for her was almost like an addiction, a way to escape the life she so desperately hated.
Kagome bowed her head in shame, tears pooling at the corner of her ocean blue orbs. She tried so hard to stop. Whenever she would go without cutting herself or if she'd simply be thinking about doing it, she'd always find herself rubbing down her arms in agitation – at first she paid no mind to it, knowing why she was doing it in the first place, but just brushing her hand over her arms seem to ignite something within her, something that desperately needed to feel the kiss of a razor.
Sango paused in front of the closed door after hearing Kagome sniffle softly. Her eyes drooped slightly before turning around to watch her friend. She didn't understand why God chose to let such a fragile girl shoulder so many things. Kagome use to be such a free spirited girl, enjoying her youth to the fullest. Yet, two years ago when her brother first laid his hands on her, something within her was broken, and the fact that her parents did nothing was no big surprise for Sango. The light that once shone brightly from Kagome was dimming, and it only continued to flicker weakly as the physical and verbal abuse continued, thanks to her douche bag of a brother. Everything constantly began going south with her parents covering up the acts and turning a blind eye to the situation at hand.
Sango often had to ask herself: What kind of parents would ever let their only daughter succumb to such acts?
Even after Kagome's rotten brother was enrolled into the military, the damage was already done – Kagome was never the same and no matter how much Sango was there for her, she just could never bring back that light that made up her best friend – it was almost as if she was lost in a lonely, dark abyss filled with nothing but pain, anger and betrayal.
"I just want you to get help before it's too late, Kags," Sango walked towards her friend who was gripping her arm tightly against her bosom, silently crying no doubt, with her head buried between her raised knees. "What you're doing is not helping, and you promised me Kagome…" Cupping her face with her hands, Sango slowly brought Kagome's face higher until she could look into her face – even with the bangs covering half of it, "You promised me that you'd stop or at least start with easing up on the act, but I saw them… there are fresh slashes on your arms."
"I'm sorry…" she sniffled softly, trying to turn her head from Sango, but was unsuccessful since Sango's grip was firm. "You have no idea how hard it is when all I can think about is sharp things or the smell of copper flowing from my arms…" Giving a slight dry laugh, Kagome sniffled loudly. "You must think I'm crazy don't you?"
Sango scooted closer to her, running her hands loving through her mass of dark hair. "No sweetie… You're just hurting." Wrapping her arms around Kagome's small frame, she felt her body shaking with the force of Kagome's crying. "You are not crazy Kagome."
"I am, Sango," she said, crying harder into Sango's neck. "I keep dreaming about killing my brother, mutilating his fucking ass until I find satisfaction." Shaking her head hurriedly she moved her hands around her friend, squeezing herself closer to the person who knew her best, who understood her to the fullest without judging her. "…I know it's wrong to think that way…" When Sango tried to stop her from continuing, Kagome looked up at her frightfully. "I find a small fraction of satisfaction when I cut myself," she said, sighing and pressing her chin on Sango's shoulder. "All the pain and anger I'm feeling at that very moment just seeps out of me whenever I cut myself..."
"Kagome, you just need to talk to someone, let your voice be heard and get some help." Sniffling stubbornly as not to cry and show such weaknesses in front of Kagome when she was suppose to be strong, Sango hugged her closer. "You know I love you and the thought of something bad happening to you…" Her voice was breaking, and she knew Kagome sensed it.
"Talking doesn't help," she whispered in a distant voice. "I've spoken to a lawyer before, he knew what I was going through, and he saw how I looked when my face was used as a punching bag…" She broke down crying even harder, pushing away from Sango slightly. "He fucking saw the bruises, heard how I had difficulty speaking because of how swollen my mouth was – yet the moment my mom denied me consent he just turned his back on me and dropped everything. Fucking dropped it as if my problems were some garbage that needed disposing of!" she screamed, gripping her head tightly as tears continued to flow freely from her closed orbs. "How the fuck can I go talk to someone when I'm underage Sango?" She looked at her best friend with flaming orbs. "Who will listen? I'm barely sixteen years! When will eighteen arrive and set my wretched soul free?" She kicked a locker in aggravation, staring heatedly at her arms. "These…. These listen to me, sooth me when I need it the most," she mumbled, shaking her hands as she spoke.
"It's not right…Please…" Sango begged brokenly.
Sango had started to cry when Kagome began pouring out her heart. No matter how many times Sango heard it; it was still heartbreaking each time she listened. If she felt so much hurt after hearing something that she never experienced, Sango could only imagine how someone actually living such a life would feel.
She watched with teary eyes as Kagome stayed quiet, taking off her hoodie and replacing it with Sango's tank-top that was too tight on Kagome, because Kagome's boobs were larger, but she accepted it with reluctance, since she had nothing else to wear. Pulling the arm warmers slowly over her nocturnal shame, Kagome exhaled loudly with a fold of her arms – the insecurities of her exposed cleavage evident to Sango.
"I'm freest this way."
With that said, Kagome smiled sadly at her best friend and then turned to close her locker door before leaving the room and leaving Sango on the floor crying at not being able to help the one person who needed it the most.
Sango felt useless as a friend, hating herself for not being strong enough for both her and Kagome.
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He didn't want to believe it; he just refused to believe that the same spitfire he'd met earlier that morning was such a loner at school. How could someone hate her, ridicule her and wish the worst for someone as entertaining as the nameless girl who'd made his return worth it, if only for a short minute?
"I never even got her name."
Inuyasha was lost in his own world, remembering the marks on the girl's arm, and the way she immediately shut down when they were revealed. No one should ever be doing that to themselves, and he found himself questioning what led her to such actions.
"Hey, would you watch where you're going," a gruff voice said, his back still turned to Inuyasha.
Inuyasha looked up quizzically since he was currently watching his foot as he slowly walked towards his class. He couldn't see the male's face but that small gold earring, and the way the male's dark hair was held captive in a low ponytail was enough to make Inuyasha grin widely.
"Is that the lech?" He boomed out, soccer punching the guy lightly in the back.
Said 'lech' turned around with a confused look on his face, only for it to be turned into a wide cheeky grin as his dark-purple orbs looked Inuyasha up and down. "Well I'd be damned! I thought you were dead asshole!" he shouted, returning the soccer punch on Inuyasha's arm. "How have you been, dude!"
"Well you know me Miro," he grinned, leaning against a locker with his arms folded, shaking his head in amazement. "Wow…" he whistled low, scratching the side of his face as his cognac eyes sparkled with happiness. "I almost forgot about you… How's junior year treating you?"
Miroku raised his brow slightly. "Oh shit, you repeated? Stupid ass – I should have known!"
"Fuck off lecher." He chuckled when Miroku flipped him off.
"Seriously though, you finally came back after a year of up and going out of the blue and now you came back you're repeating? Did you suck that bad at American school?"
Inuyasha's smile fell slowly from his lips as he got a faraway look in his eyes. Going to America was never his choice and he was sad to go overall, seeing as he never even got to say goodbye to his friends, but when someone as influential as his parents demanded something, no matter how much one would try to avoid it, their demands would always come to pass.
"You know how my absent parents are…" he mumbled softly.
Miroku stayed silent for a while when he remembered how Inuyasha parents were. He'd only saw them once in all the years he and Inuyasha were friends, and that alone was one time too many. Inuyasha's parents were rarely around, practically throwing him in the arms of their best friend, Totosai, and maids to be raised.
"You still suck for not contacting me!" Miroku shouted, trying to lighten up the mood. "Honestly Yasha… I'm your best friend – I think – yet I get not even one call from you in a year."
"Oh shut up, you're irreplaceable as a best friend, no matter how horrifying that thought is."
They chuckled, making small talk leisurely even as the halls started to clear. They knew they were late for their respected classes, but seeing as they were a force to be reckon when alone – just imagine the riot they'd cause together. Neither of them really cared much for tardiness, nor did they do well on following school rules. It was a mystery that Miroku himself never even repeated in his whole life.
Hissing in delight, Miroku suddenly narrowed his orbs seductively as he looked at a girl who was wearing a tank-top that was way too small for her.
"Hey Yasha…" he whispered, cutting off Inuyasha as he spoke, "Check out the twins on that girl." He licked his lips slowly, wondering who she was since her hair was almost casting a veil over her visage. "Who is that hot chick?"
Inuyasha laughed at seeing Miroku's action, wondering why he ever thought that he would change as he gets older. Miroku will forever be Miroku – the lecherous guy who was drawn to the female specimen. Turning around to see who had become Miroku's possible victim of the hour, he opened his mouth slightly in awe at seeing the mysterious girl who literally fell into his life.
"Howdy there…" Miroku's sentence fell short when he realized who it was, his eyes bulging widely after recognizing who the girl was. "Who would have thought that the loner girl had that hidden under all her dark clothes?"
"You know her?" Inuyasha hadn't taken his eyes off of her, already questioning what could have possibly happened to her. He watched the way she was walking in their direction, slowly and detached with her head bowed low, maybe in deep thought.
"Who doesn't know the queen of lonely?" Miroku laughed softly; he scratched his head and then shook it in wonderment at how hauntingly beautiful Kagome looked at that very moment. Light clothing was definitely her best friend.
"What's her deal then?" Inuyasha asked anxiously, keeping his eyes on her. "I ran into her on my way to school and she was so full of life – had spunk and I especially enjoyed nagging her…" He smiled slightly at the way she always took his bait so easily which in turn entertained him. "Then in homeroom class some incident happened and the whole class just started throwing mean insults at her – and she completely shut down… It was like she had an on and off switch or something."
"You… Wait, are you talking about her, that gloomy girl?" He furrowed his brows as he stared openly at Kagome, not being able to even picture a wide grin on her face.
"Yea man… Something happened to her…"
"No shit, Sherlock. That girl always had some sort of bruise on her, or she was in pain – like limping slightly. I can tell she tried to cover it up, and isolate herself, but shit's been going on in her life. I guess the isolation helps her deal with it…" Miroku sighed softly. "Don't get mixed up with that sort of problem – trust me when I say you'd rather avoid it at all cost."
"Are you listening to yourself, Miro?" Inuyasha shook his head at his friend. When did Miroku become so heartless? Still though, if she was getting abused in some way then that would explain why she'd cut herself. Many teens turned to that sort of action when something as trivial as breaking up with someone happened to them, so the thought of her being abused and getting depressed or angered was enough reason for her to do that if she so desired.
"Whatever dude." Miroku brushed him off, checking the now empty halls for patrolling teachers. "I have Bio now so I have to jet before I get in trouble."
"Dude, you're already in trouble!" Inuyasha laughed when Miroku gave him the finger before jogging up some stairs towards his class. "See you at lunch?"
"That's shouldn't even be a question, idiot!"
Shaking his head with a wide grin on his face, he turned his full attention on the girl who was taking ages to reach him. She was even slower than a snail!
Kagome walked absentmindedly to her class, hugging herself closely while contemplating if she should skip and just go home. Times like these where tops hugged her too intimately was what she hated. Drawing attention to herself was the last thing she'd ever want to do since interest leads to curiosity that brought on way too many questions for her liking.
"I should just skip," she said, stopping suddenly and running her hands through her long unruly hair. "Bleachers, here I come…"
"So you're the skipper type huh, hoodie?"
Kagome jumped suddenly at hearing the caress of someone's breath against her ear. She cursed loudly when she realized who it was, rolling her eyes instantly with a frustrated exhale of her breath.
"Can I accompany you to Bleacher's class?" His toothy grin made her eyes twitch in annoyance.
Why did Inuyasha keep popping up out of nowhere to torment her? Was her life not messed up enough? She glared hotly at Inuyasha who continued walking beside her, grinning widely at her actions. She had to force herself not to waver in her glare as she wondered why he was still even talking to her after what happened in class earlier.
"I'd rather go alone," she whispered, rubbing her folded arms up and down, hoping that if he noticed her cleavage that he'd ignore it nonetheless.
"If you hate that top so much, why'd you put it on anyways?" he inquired, trying his hardest not to stare. In the back of his mind, he wondered how many guys saw her in that top and if they tried talking to her – then again, why should that even matter to him?
"Um…How come you're still talking to me?" She avoided looking into his eyes, not wanting to give him a reason to search her face. "I know that you…saw…" She whispered hesitantly as she gripped an arm firmly. "Don't you think I'm a freak or something?"
Inuyasha smiled, shrugging out of his unbuttoned dress shirt and placing it over her shoulders. He watched as she looked at the garment questioningly, but noted that she didn't try to stop him as he helped her put her arms through before carefully buttoning the shirt without touching something that might cause her discomfort. "A feisty obnoxious teen, yes, but seeing you as a freak?" He used his thumb to brush lightly over her bruised bottom lip, letting the smile fall from his in the process. "I doubt that… and what I saw…"
He chose not to continue, simply sighing loudly before taking out her shades from his pocket and putting them on – just because he love to get on her nerves.
"My shades…" She gritted out.
"What, these?" Inuyasha looked around while biting his lips to stop the smile that was suddenly threatening to overtake his face. "You must be confusing them for another pair, my dear hoodie."
Kagome huffed loudly with a roll of her head. "You are an ass, you know that?" She growled, advancing slowing towards him as he stepped back from her. "Give them to me Inuyasha!"
"Funny how you know my name so well, yet you refuse to give me yours." He clucked his tongue loudly while continuing to step back from her slowly. He had to give in to the curving of his lips when Kagome started doing a good impression of growling at him.
"Give me the shades and maybe I'll tell you my name you idiot!"
With his index finger against his chin, he looked up in the sky as if he was in deep thought. "Hmmm, I'll think about it." Flashing her with a quick grin, he waved slowly at her. "I'll see you around."
Kagome watched as he turned his back on her while strolling down the halls with a low whistle, and her shades still on his filthy face! 'That damn bastard!' Without a second thought, Kagome broke out into a light jog, speeding up as she neared Inuyasha and surprised herself as well as Inuyasha when she literally attacked him by jumping on his back and trying to snatch her shades from him – her favorite shades at that!
Nothing could have prepared Inuyasha for such an action, and he found himself bucking towards the ground with laughter as he took Kagome with him. She released the cutest small scream of surprise he'd ever heard when they hit the ground.
Thinking quickly, he switched their positions, pinning her to the ground with the shades now on the floor beside her. "Now you're being more than rude, hoodie…" he murmured, watching her. Concentration and concern knitted his brows together as he finally got to saw a clear view of Kagome's full visage. He saw how one of her eyes was darkened and swollen; saw the multiple colors on her face that she tried to cover up with make-up. He looked deeply into her eyes, getting lost into her vacant blue orbs.
"What…" he released one of her hands to caress her cheek lightly, "…happened to you?"
Kagome's labored breathing didn't go unnoticed to him. Her eyes suddenly started to pool with tears of embarrassment before she turned her head to the side, thankful that her hair chose to follow suit so it could cast even a slight veil over her face. "Let me up, Inuyasha…"
"…S-sure," he stammered, quickly getting up off of her and extending his hand to help her up, which she took with evident reluctance. "Um… So, what class do you have now?"
Before Kagome could give him a response, they both looked up quickly when they heard the loud clicking of heels nearing them. Kagome shrunk behind Inuyasha, ruffling her bangs to hide her face the best she could.
Inuyasha on the other had looked as if a ghost just ran past him. Kagome had to wonder if he feared being caught that much to have such a look on his face as a beautiful teacher neared them.
The female teacher was about as tall as Inuyasha, thanks to her heels that added a couple inches to her height. She wore a tight red skirt that ended just below her knees, a white cotton v-neck shirt and a white long coat unbuttoned with splashes of multiple colors adorning the coat.
"Is that you Inuyasha?" she asked, shell-shocked before flipping her bone straight hair behind her. "I can't believe it!" She laughed angelically before wetting her lips slightly and adjusting the glasses on the bridge of her nose.
"…Ki…Kikyou…"
Kagome knitted her brows at Inuyasha when he called Mrs. Shimizu by her first name. She watched as his whole demeanor changed the moment he saw the art teacher before them. Looking from one face to the other, all she could ask herself is, 'What sort of relationship did they have?'
"It's been a while hasn't it." Her smile was as bright as ever.
"I didn't know you teach here." He cleared his throat, raking his eyes slowly over her form. She was still as beautiful as ever, but he knew that beauty wasn't all; she was a perfect example of that.
"Well, after the substituting job, they decided to take me on full time, so I'm the permanent art teacher." Kikyou brushed her hair out of her face carefully, almost as if she was cautious of her appearance. "How… How have you been lately…?"
"I've been good…" Inuyasha turned his head to the side, noticing that Kagome was still by him. He couldn't believe he'd forget she was there still. The way she was looking from Kikyou to him made him wonder what she was formulating from the scene. He sighed softly, and then looked back at Kikyou with an emotionless look. "I was lucky enough to not bump into any more beautiful liars, that much I can say." He gave her a wide, cheeky grin before turning his back on Kikyou whose eyes drooped in sadness automatically at his statement.
Kagome had already turned around and snatched up her precious shades, not wanting to be witness to any sort of past or possible infidelity. Her brows were knitted in anger, but she couldn't quite say why she was angry to begin with. It wasn't like she had any relation with either of them to begin with. If Inuyasha's interests were older girls, then so be it, and if Mrs. Shimizu enjoyed having boy toys on the side of her marriage, then it was her career.
"Don't tell me you're going to leave me now." Inuyasha faked moan, snatching the shades out of Kagome's hand quickly before holding her other hand to slow her down so he could walk side by side with her.
"I missed you in class the other day Ms. Higurashi."
Kagome rolled her eyes before turning around to meet her teacher who was now walking behind them, a tight smile on her face as she tried in vain to not look at the hold Inuyasha had on Kagome.
"I had an errand to run..." Trying to pull her hands out of Inuyasha's hold, Kagome gave a small yelp of pain when her hand was squeezed in disapproval. "Did I miss anything important?"
"I'm sure you can catch up since you're one of my best students." She then turned her head to Inuyasha. "Don't you have a class to attend to Mr. Taisho?"
Inuyasha had to laugh when she called him by his last name. What was up with that? He shook his head with a lick of his lips, winking playfully at Kagome before putting on her shades. "Now I'm Mr. Taisho? Wow… that's interesting." He stuffed his free hand in his pocket, grinning for a split second before turning his back on her once again and dragging Kagome along with him.
"Do you know that guy, Ms. Higurashi?"
This was odd… Never before had a teacher spoke to Kagome this much, they especially didn't care to ask her about anything that didn't relate to school. Kagome really wanted to ask Inuyasha what sort of relationship he and the teacher had, though given the exchange between them, it didn't take a genius to notice the obvious tension between them. But since this was Kagome's first year at the school, she had no definite knowledge about either of the two people before her.
"Sure she does, we're friends after all."
Kagome looked up meekly at Inuyasha when he said 'friends'. Did he really see her as his friend, or was he just saying that because he needed to say something? She felt her inside warm up at the thought of having another friend apart from Sango.
"We…are?"
"Of course we are!" He threw his arms around her, pulling her small frame closer to his with a wide grin. "If you'll excuse us, we have a class to get to."
Kikyou watched the display between Inuyasha and Kagome, grinding her teeth in anger at their actions. She couldn't believe that after so long, Inuyasha finally decided to come back. What were the odds of them meeting up so randomly? She narrowed her eyes at the couple, wondering who Kagome Higurashi was to make Inuyasha interested in her. Inuyasha was always the type to go for someone outspoken, beautiful and spontaneous, so how and why did Higurashi become part of that when she was always so gloomy and secluded was a mystery.
"He can't seriously like that girl." She glared off into the distance with a frustrated sigh, her eyes blazing heatedly as she headed towards her class.
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