LonelyPerson: We don't own Hetalia!

Matthew was not amused. "Alfred, this isn't a good idea." You don't even have your head screwed on right, how do expect to manage a restaurant?

But Alfred wasn't listening. Why the hell would he be? He was about to open his own restaurant, and his brother had been generous enough to say that he would pay in case of lawsuit.

He was on top of the world.

A caterpillar was crawling along the cement window sill. There were three reasons why he'd wanted to open this restaurant: One, he had not gotten a toy in his Happy Meal the other day and had been totally pissed. I mean, it's not like McDonald's had an age limit or anything. Two, he had seen a shiny jukebox up for sale in a nearby mall and had grown nostalgic. And three, it was Arthur's dream to open his own Fish n' Chips kiosk in the local mall. What better way to piss Arthur off than by opening an entire restaurant?

When Alfred noticed the caterpillar, he remembered Arthur. With a whoop, he leaped into the air from his standstill and sprinted down the street, leaving a slightly pissed looking Matthew behind.

Matthew sighed and looked at his reflection in the window. "Sometimes I just don't know what to do," he whispered to himself as he began to slowly follow his brother home.

When Matthew arrived at the split-level he shared with his brother, he took notice of a messy haired blond man running across the street. Arthur. Alfred must've run all the way home just to call him and piss him off.

"Is it true?" Arthur gasped out to Matthew. He lived a few blocks away in a century-old Victorian with his brothers and sister. Escaping them and getting out the door in itself must've been a challenge. "Did the wanker seriously purchase a restaurant?"

"It's not a restaurant yet," Matthew began, "But if Alfred gets his way, it soon will be."

Arthur cursed under his breath. Matthew noticed a miniscule burn on his wrist. "What happened to you?" he asked, pointing to the pink flesh.

"That asshole got me with his cigarette."

By 'that asshole' Matthew knew that Arthur was talking about his older brother, Allistor. Allistor was a friendly enough man who loved to smoke, but when it came to Arthur, he simply had no patience.

"What did you do?"

"Try to get out the fucking front door, that's what! Don't make this about me, Matthew. Where the hell is Alfred?"

"Inside, I'd guess."

"I'm going to kill that git!"

"Can I help?"

Arthur's jaw dropped. He was simply shocked that sweet Matthew would ever say such a thing. "What?"

"I'll help you kill him."

"What did he do to you?"

"He bought the restaurant in my name so that in case of lawsuit, I'd be a scapegoat."

Arthur let this register for a moment before giving a small nod. "Okay," he said, still a little surprised. "All right."

As Arthur began to pound up the porch stairs, Matthew could only shake his head. Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I can't get mad. He joined the older man at the entrance of the house, where Arthur was screaming for Alfred to grow some balls and open the door.

Matthew produced a key from his pocket and turned the lock. As soon as he opened the door, Arthur shoved past him and went straight to the kitchen. Lo and behold, Alfred sat at the table, stuffing his face with potato chips as he flipped through the phone book in search of cheap contractors. Arthur yanked him from his chair by the shirt collar.

"You fucking wanker! You know it's been my dream to have my own food cart! And you go and open a damn restaurant?"

"Get off your period, dude," America grinned through the chewed up mess in his mouth. "Why shouldn't I be able to have my own food place, just because you want one?"

"Because, because," Arthur didn't know what to sat. "You called me first thing, just to spite me!"

"Can't argue with that."

As the two continued to argue, Alfred remaining cool while tears began to stream down Arthur's face, Matthew wondered how they had arrived to this. They used to be so close, like brothers. They were inseparable, even in high school. Arthur didn't care that he got taunted because he was the only senior who willingly hung out with a freshman. Maybe Arthur just liked being a big brother for once. I mean, technically he IS a big brother, but Aiden doesn't exactly worship him.

As Matthew thought about Arthur and his dysfunctional family, the doorbell conveniently rang. Arthur wand Alfred, who at this point were wrestling on the kitchen floor, paused for a heartbeat before resuming their brawl.

On the porch stood Arthur's older brother Allistor and younger brother Aiden. As usual, Allistor had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Matthew looked at them and almost smiled. Aiden looked like a smaller, paler copy of Allistor, with light auburn hair rather than his brother's flaming red. He even had a cigarette rolled between his fingers, but he was clearly disgusted by it.

"Hey, Pet," Allistor smiled at Matthew. "Did Little Shit happen to drop by?"

Matthew said nothing, but pointed his thumb over his shoulder and moved aside to let the brothers in. As Aiden walked past, Matthew whispered, "Sixteen's a little young to be smoking, don't you think?"

Aiden's thick eyebrows wiggled as he nodded toward the home bar in the corner of the living room. "Nineteen's a little young to be drinking, don't you think?"

"You and Ravis and Emil are always stealing booze from somewhere."

"Is it stealing if it's necessary to our survival? I mean, if it wasn't for our happy juice, we'd have all put ourselves six feet under by now."

Matthew rolled his eyes.

Alfred and Arthur were oblivious to the trio watching them from the doorway. Alfred, the bigger of the two, had overpowered Arthur and was crouching over him was he punched the other in the rib.

Allistor whistled as he surveyed the scene. 'My, my, Little Shit, I always knew you were a little bitch, but to accept man meat on the kitchen floor? That's scandalous." He smirked as he added, "I always knew you'd be on bottom, too."

Alfred let out a yelp as Arthur found the strength to push him off. Arthur rose to face his brother, and nobody was certain what was redder: his blushing cheeks or the blood that gushed from his nose. Aiden grinned and Allistor laughed. Matthew had to hide his smile. Alfred, too, was red; with anger.

"I told you, no smoking in my house! It sets off the smoke detectors and then I have to turn them all off cause they won't shut the fuck up." Alfred directed this at Allistor.

The red head smirked at the younger man and tossed his cigarette butt to the floor, grinding it into the carpet with his shoe. "Not my problem."

Matthew finally felt that he should do something. "America, go finish eating that crap you were having earlier." He turned to the other three. 'I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave. I'm sorry we were so inhospitable."

As Arthur huffed out the front door, Allistor ran his fingers through his messy red hair and smiled. "Not a problem, Pet. Come on, Aiden. We captured the idiot, time to bring him back to the zoo."

As Aiden walked out after Arthur, he slipped a small bottle of vodka into his jacket pocket. Matthew pretended not to notice. Allistor paused at the door. "Hey Pet, Ailis invited Ludwig and Gilbert over for a drinking competition on Saturday. We're trying to get as many people to come, so that Little Shit doesn't have too many friends to go to while he's being locked out of the house. Care to join?"

Matthew couldn't help but be tempted, even though he thought of Arthur as a friend. But if Gilbert was going to be there…

"Is Alfred a part of this invite?"

"Like I said, as many people as possible. As long as they're not Little Shit."

"Okay then, see you Saturday."

"See ya, Pet."

Matthew watched the three youngest members of the Kirkland family walk back home, with Arthur a considerable distance ahead of the two. There was a glimmer of light; Allistor lighting up another cigarette.

Matthew sighed, feeling bad for Arthur, and turned back into the house, bracing himself for the bitchfit that Alfred was almost definitely about to throw.

LonelyPerson: Are you slightly confused? Well, here's a rundown of the Kirkland family: Wales, Human Name : Daniel, Age 28. Ireland, HN: Ailis, 27. Scotland, HN: Allistor, 25. England, HN: Arthur, 23. And finally, Northern Ireland, HN: Aiden, 16.

Yes, Hidekaz Himaruya did say that Scotland is supposed to be the oldest in the family. But since he's not an official character yet, why not be all more-historically-accurate and make Wales and Ireland older? Also, please excuse the heaviness of this chapter. But it's vital to the plot.