Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Sniff. Sniff.

~~~x-Like-x~~~

Dear Eli,

Eyes. That's what I miss most about you. No, not your smirk, not your sarcastic comments, just your eyes. Because when I looked at them I could tell every emotion you felt. You always tried to hide it. That's what I hated most, the fact that you would hide everything from me. I wanted you to talk. But instead you made me happy every day. But I never asked if you were happy. Adam used to tell me that I was crazy if I thought for one minute that you weren't happy. You remember when we got into that fight about Julia? And I said I could never compete with a dead person. I don't know how anyone is ever going to be able to compete with you. The worst part is, I don't even know if you're dead. And that sucks. I like to look through the letters that we sent each other during the war. It makes me feel like you're still here. The feeling of you is slowly fading Eli. And I can't stop it. Your smell isn't on my sheets anymore, your brown hair isn't in my brush anymore, your boxers aren't in my hamper anymore. Your fading away, and it sucks. Every day I hope to God that your still alive. Every day I write a letter to you, I keep it in a box. You wanna know what the box Is called? My box of letters. Ha ha. Original right? I could imagine you smirking and rolling your eyes. Eyes. That was the whole point of this letter. It's so unlike me to go off topic. But it's hard to focus when you have a pounding head ache. Maybe I shouldn't have drank last night. But it makes me forget Eli. It makes me forget the pain I feel. The emptiness.

With Love,

Clare

I folded the piece of paper and put it in the box. I put the box under my bed. When I stood up I felt complete dizziness wash over me. The doorbell rang. I slowly walked to get it.

"Adam what are you doing here?" I asked. He ignored my question and gave me a huge hug.

"I missed you." He said, pulling out of the hug. I smiled.

"I missed you too. Come in." I stepped out of the way to let him in.

"You hairs longer." He said.

"Your taller." I said, and it was true. I now had to look up to talk to Adam.

"Yea well it happens." He laughed. "Nice house."

"Adam you've been here a million times before. It's the same house I've been in since I was younger." I said, rolling my eyes. When my dad left, my mom became sick. I was in College so I couldn't help her, she died and left the house to me.

"I know, it's just I haven't been here in forever."

"Look Adam, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the…" I started, but he held up his hand for me to stop.

"I know. I understand. I didn't want to have it so soon either, but you know Fiona. Everything was already planned. It took me a while to forgive you, but I placed myself in your position and imagined if it was Fiona who was missing."

"I should of came. I would have loved to see you smile as Fiona walked down the aisle."

"So how are things?" He asked, looking at all the pictures that hung on the wall. He stared at one of them. It was a picture of me and Adam on our graduation day with Eli in the middle with his arms wrapped around our shoulders. He then went to the next picture, it was of me and Eli holding hands, Adam was the one who took the picture.

"Things were so much easier back then." He mumbled.

"Yea they were."

"You smoke now?" He asked, pointing to the ash tray on the table.

"Yea, it helps me relieve stress." I said.

"Yea, when you get lung cancer, it's really going to relieve some stress." He said, sarcastically.

"Why is everyone always judging me?"

"Because we're worried about you, Clare! You're like a zombie. You only talk to us every few months!"

"I'm talking now, aren't I?"

"Your right. I'll drop it. So, how's work?"

"I write columns in a news paper, it's not really that interesting. How's work for you?"

"I work as Lawyer, what's interesting about that?" He asked and I laughed.

"How's Fiona?"

"She's good. She say's Hi."

"You wanna watch a movie?" I asked. He smiled and nodded. "You pick." I said pointing to the movies that were next to the TV.

"How about this one?" He asked. It was Orphan. It wasn't my movie, it was Eli's. I remember the night he brought it over….

"Clare, please. You said I get to pick the movie!" Eli complained.

"I didn't think you would pick that!"

"But it's really good." He pouted.

"I heard it sucked."

"You can't always believe what you hear. If it gets too scary for you, I will turn it off." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine." I said, and he grinned. I wound up snuggling into his chest every single part.

"This was your plan all along wasn't it?" I asked, my face was buried deep into his shoulder. My whole body was hugging him.

"Oh you know me too well, Blue eyes."

"Clare? Clare?" Adams voice, interrupted my thoughts.

"What?"

"You kind of dazed off for a minute." He said.

"Oh sorry. I was just thinking." I said and Adam sighed.

"I miss him too Clare." He said, pulling me into a tight hug. I allowed myself to start crying.

"Do you think he's alive?" I asked.

"I know he's alive. And he's just waiting for the perfect moment to come and see us." He said.

"Don't get my hopes up, Adam." I said and he smiled.

"Eli's somewhere, I know he is."

"I see him everywhere, I look. It's scary. I just want him back."

"I see him everywhere too. But we have to move on Clare."

"I can't and I won't ever be able too." I said, shaking my head.

"That's what Eli said about Julia." He said, grabbing my hand. I pulled away.

"Eli knew Julia for 2 years. I knew Eli for 10. Don't compare me to Julia."

"I wasn't comparing you to anybody! I'm just saying that he moved on. You should too."

"Go." I said.

"What?" He asked shocked.

"I said go."

"You're losing all you friends, Clare. He's not coming back, get over it!"

"GET OUT!" I scream. My head pounds harder and harder. Adam gives me a nasty look, then leaves. I look at the pictures on the walls. And laughed.

"You promised you would be back." I muttered. In the picture Eli had a great big smile on his face. I punched the glass that held the picture intact. The frame fell to the floor.

"Shit." I said, looking at my knuckles that had small pieces of glass in them. The blood started seeping out, and I couldn't help but feel…calm.

~~~x-The End-x~~~

Authors Note: Whatcha thinking? I will have more memories of Eli, don't worry. Please review cause I need to know if it's good. I love Adam, do you love Adam? Love you all.

Charlotte