It's like 5:30 a.m. I am so tired Anyway… I forgot to put a disclaimer in the first chapter so here's one now- I don't own anything, that relates to the TV show iCarly.

(iWant More Viewers)

September, 2007

Whaddup people? Tonight's iCarly went awesome! We introduced a new segment called 'Messin' with Lewbert' and showed how he deals with his miserable life due to his large wart. Viewers totally loved it; Momma sure does know how to impress.

So I'm standing with Carly, getting ready to eat her food, when dork boy hops in and starts with me. I seriously think I hate him! So, we're fighting and I'm seriously considering going over there and punching him out, but out of nowhere I get sprayed with water. Carly has decided to play peacemaker and spray us with one of those cat bottles whenever we fight. I used to have one of those for Frothy. Heh heh… I used to spray him whenever he went to use the liter box. Poor cat was afraid to pee.

Anyway, there's only been like the same amount of viewers for the show (which sucks if you didn't know). So at dinner we decided to have ourselves a little contest to get more viewers. It's boys against girls and the loser has to touch Lewbert's wart.

….

Momma is a genius! I was planning on just watching TV all day on the Shay's couch, but Carly was all like "Work! Contest!" But that's not why I'm a genius… it's because me being all lazy and chizz got us an idea for our contest. I should try being lazy more often! Our plan is to make a giant sign andstand outside of the Seattle Beat window because I guess a lot of people would see it or something. Thinking up that amazing idea was tiring and all I want is to sleep, but nope! Carly makes me work on our banner. If she wasn't my best friend… I'm not going to finish this sentence.

….

The banner came out beautiful, but you already knew that because everything I do is perfect! That was sarcastic by the way. I'm in a bad mood if you didn't already guess. Our plan was ruined because of the stupid rain. Of all the hard work and planning, you'd think someone (Carly) would have thought to check the weather, but nope. We stood there waving a messed up banner in the air on TV. Don't worry though! All that paper we used won't go to waste because I gave it to my mom to use as a dress. I don't even want to know what goes on inside that woman's head.

As if my mood wasn't bad enough, I come home (to Carly's) and that nubby wonder starts with me about how he's going to win and we're going to lose. If Frednub thinks I'm really going to end up touching Lewbert's wart, he has another thing coming. I'd cut him up to little pieces and feed him to that wart before I touched it! Man, it is a good thing Carly doesn't read my journal… she would be going crazy with that torture toy she sprays us with.

…

Has my mood improved or what! (The answer is yes.) First of all, we didn't lose, but Spencer and Freddork didn't either. How is that possible you ask? Well turns out their plan sucked too. They put a sign on the free way that caused a major pile up and told people to "Pee on Carl." No joke. Spencer got arrested and people might have been seriously injured, but it turns out our failed attempts attracted lots more kids to Momma and friends.

"We all failed miserably trying to get you guys more viewers for iCarly, but it is precisely those failures that are getting you more viewers for iCarly."

-A very wise man. (Spencer)

-Sam the Famous

Yay! Second chapter is done!