Draco ran to Snape's office, crying. He banged on the door, waited for the
'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!!' and entered, still sobbing. Snape looked
shocked at the sight of a crying Malfoy, but hid it quite well. 'What's
wrong?!' Draco's eyes started watering again. 'I... My dad just told me...'
He broke into tears again. 'What?? What happened?' Snape asked, trying
hard not to lose his patience and handed Draco a pink hanky, who blew his
nose in it. 'It's... hard to tell but...' 'Yes...?' Draco swallowed, trying
not to cry again. 'An Oompa Loompa raped my kitten...' He started crying
again, and ran off. Snape was terribly confused.
~*~
'Do you think I'm fat?' Ron asked, spreading his arms. Hermione looked up from her book. 'Sorry, what did you say?' 'Do you think I'm fat?' Ron repeated. She looked at him. 'Er...no...' 'Don't you lie to me!' Ron pointed a finger to her, accusingly. 'No really! You're not fat! Turn around, then?' Ron slowly turned around, while Hermione was thinking why the hell thin Ron was worrying about being too fat. Then she saw it. She opened her mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say. Ron's ass was... huge!! 'It's bigger than Harry's uncle...' Hermione slowly said, regretting it immediately. Ron began to cry and ran away, but got stuck in the door. Hermione shrugged and walked away, leaving the red haired fat ass behind. No one was able to get into the Gryffindor Common Room ever again.
~*~
Don't you wanna know why we keep startin fires? Its my desire, its my desire! Don't you wanna know how we keep startin' fires? Its my desire, its my desire!!' Gilderoy Lockhart sung to his mirror. 'Danger, Danger...' At that point, he got exploded in millions of pieces. Remus Lupin laughed evilly. 'High Voltage!!!'
~*~
As everyone, Muggle or wizard knew, Oliver Wood loved to wear kilts. It's logical. Scottish, kilt. But Oliver always felt something was missing. Something... he couldn't exactly explain, he didn't know. Always, when he was wearing his kilt, watching Braveheart or talking, he missed something. Something... Scottish.
One day, while practising Quidditch, he was wearing his kilt, (Which was very disturbing for the players who were flying below him, but that's an other story, rated NC-17) Fred Weasley (Or was it George?) laughed and asked him sarcastically if Oliver brought his bagpipes with him, as well. Finally, Oliver knew what he was missing all that time! Bagpipes! He was overcome with joy, kissed Fred (Or George) firmly on the lips, started making out with him while he wasn't gay, but all that didn't matter, he solved the big question in his life!
Oliver asked bagpipes for his birthday. His parents were surprised, but gave them to him anyway. Now, sometimes, late at night, while Gryffindors walk down the stairs when they need to go to the bathroom, they can hear him playing his bagpipes, and, if they're lucky, they can see him dancing the Scottish version of the Hokey Pokey in his kilt.
~*~
Harry slowly breathed out. 'All right, here it comes...' 'Well, hurry up than! I haven't got all bloody day!' Draco commented, slightly nervous. 'OK... now, just... relax... There! It's in, are you alright?' 'Is that all?' Draco asked. 'What?' 'It's not very big is it? I've had bigger ones... In fact, I can't even feel it!' Draco replied, simply. Harry blushed a bit. 'Well, at least it doesn't hurt!' Draco laughed sarcastically. Some time later, while putting his shirt back on, he snorted. 'What's so funny?' Harry asked. 'It didn't hurt... Silly me, I was always so scared of needles.'
********* ******** ********* ************ ************* *********** @$#&@!
~Hm... These were quite a bit longer, and not as random as the other chapter... Hope you liked it a bit anyway... Tell me! Tell me now, or else I'll let Marcus Flint kiss you! You wouldn't like those terrible teeth, now would you? So, review!~
~*~
'Do you think I'm fat?' Ron asked, spreading his arms. Hermione looked up from her book. 'Sorry, what did you say?' 'Do you think I'm fat?' Ron repeated. She looked at him. 'Er...no...' 'Don't you lie to me!' Ron pointed a finger to her, accusingly. 'No really! You're not fat! Turn around, then?' Ron slowly turned around, while Hermione was thinking why the hell thin Ron was worrying about being too fat. Then she saw it. She opened her mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say. Ron's ass was... huge!! 'It's bigger than Harry's uncle...' Hermione slowly said, regretting it immediately. Ron began to cry and ran away, but got stuck in the door. Hermione shrugged and walked away, leaving the red haired fat ass behind. No one was able to get into the Gryffindor Common Room ever again.
~*~
Don't you wanna know why we keep startin fires? Its my desire, its my desire! Don't you wanna know how we keep startin' fires? Its my desire, its my desire!!' Gilderoy Lockhart sung to his mirror. 'Danger, Danger...' At that point, he got exploded in millions of pieces. Remus Lupin laughed evilly. 'High Voltage!!!'
~*~
As everyone, Muggle or wizard knew, Oliver Wood loved to wear kilts. It's logical. Scottish, kilt. But Oliver always felt something was missing. Something... he couldn't exactly explain, he didn't know. Always, when he was wearing his kilt, watching Braveheart or talking, he missed something. Something... Scottish.
One day, while practising Quidditch, he was wearing his kilt, (Which was very disturbing for the players who were flying below him, but that's an other story, rated NC-17) Fred Weasley (Or was it George?) laughed and asked him sarcastically if Oliver brought his bagpipes with him, as well. Finally, Oliver knew what he was missing all that time! Bagpipes! He was overcome with joy, kissed Fred (Or George) firmly on the lips, started making out with him while he wasn't gay, but all that didn't matter, he solved the big question in his life!
Oliver asked bagpipes for his birthday. His parents were surprised, but gave them to him anyway. Now, sometimes, late at night, while Gryffindors walk down the stairs when they need to go to the bathroom, they can hear him playing his bagpipes, and, if they're lucky, they can see him dancing the Scottish version of the Hokey Pokey in his kilt.
~*~
Harry slowly breathed out. 'All right, here it comes...' 'Well, hurry up than! I haven't got all bloody day!' Draco commented, slightly nervous. 'OK... now, just... relax... There! It's in, are you alright?' 'Is that all?' Draco asked. 'What?' 'It's not very big is it? I've had bigger ones... In fact, I can't even feel it!' Draco replied, simply. Harry blushed a bit. 'Well, at least it doesn't hurt!' Draco laughed sarcastically. Some time later, while putting his shirt back on, he snorted. 'What's so funny?' Harry asked. 'It didn't hurt... Silly me, I was always so scared of needles.'
********* ******** ********* ************ ************* *********** @$#&@!
~Hm... These were quite a bit longer, and not as random as the other chapter... Hope you liked it a bit anyway... Tell me! Tell me now, or else I'll let Marcus Flint kiss you! You wouldn't like those terrible teeth, now would you? So, review!~