Ch. 2- Analyze part I
Cortland, NY- 1995
She senses it the minute she walks into her home. Arriving earlier than usual from her Thursday Lacrosse practice and leaving her gear in the mud room, she immediately knows something is not right. Then again, something has definitely not been right the past couple of weeks but she hasn't been able to pinpoint what. Her mother is acting her happily nervous way as usual but it's her dad the one that has been especially suspicious. Initially, she had thought is was that he had once again picked a fight with her Nana. But then again, Nana wasn't even on speaking terms with him. Not since he had lost her maternal grandmother over $50,000 in an investment which had never seen the light of day. And that had been about five years ago…
She can feel the hair at the nape of her neck stand on end while a shiver runs down her spine as she walks through the kitchen and into hallway leading towards the living room. They are talking behind closed doors in her father's study but she can hear the frantic tone in her mother's voice although she can't really make out the words.
Donna knows. She just knows what this means. And she can almost feel her heart stop beating in her chest and her blood run cold in her veins… Jim Paulsen is back at it. He's gambling. It's like a punch to her gut. It fills her with such disappointment...He had promised he wouldn't! After Nana's and then again after taking away her mother's money, the same they would've used to travel to Paris on vacation… She had seen it coming, and she had warned her mother but the love she had for her husband was too strong.
That's when she hears it...
"How are we going to tell Donna? She already got the acceptance letter….Jim, how could you have gambled away her college funds?!"
Fuck! Shit! Fuck! She thinks and the feeling of disappointment turns to rage. Not caring at this point she barges into the room almost kicking the doors to the study open.
"What did you do, Dad?!" she asks and takes both of her parents by surprise. Neither realizing that Donna was already home.
"Donna, sweetie…" her mother says in a soothing voice but Donna is too angry to let it go.
She can feel tears forming in her eyes and her face is probably flushed with anger but she needs to hear it from him.
"No!" she shouts and looks at both her parents, "don't cover for him! What did you do, Dad?!"
But Jim Paulsen won't look into his daughter's eyes and keeps his head bowed down staring at his hands which hold a tumbler with his favorite drink, gin and tonic.
This seems to anger her furthermore and she approaches him.
"Goddammit! What did you do, Dad?!" she shouts again and his lack of response sends her into a tailspin. She's walked closer and closer to him and with rage taps the tumbler out of his hands not caring that the liquid spills all over the place.
"I asked, what. did. you. do for fuck's sake?!"
"Donna, watch your language!" her mother warns but her voice is quieter and doesn't really hold any power.
"No, Mom… he's taking the coward's way out. Again! I need to hear this from HIM," Donna can feel the tears begin to roll down her face and she hates it. She hates feeling so weak.
Jim Paulsen's finally looks at her, his embarrassed countenance saying it without words.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart… I'm really sorry," is all he says before looking away once again.
Donna fists her hands and struggles to swallow the sob that threatens to come out. She takes in a deep breath and forces herself to stop crying. Nodding at her mother, who's staring at her with a pained look of her face she says, "there's more, right?"
And her mother looks down but whispers a soft, "yes… we've lost everything."
Donna's eyes open wide and the anger suddenly returns.
"You mean he lost it...ALL?!"
She doesn't wait for her mother to respond and instead walks out of the study and heads straight for her bedroom. Slamming the door she hastily opens her closet and digging out a weekender bag she stuffs it haphazardly with as many of her belongings. Her rage keeping her going until she's done. Rushing down the steps towards the front door she goes but her mother is waiting in the landing.
"Where are you going, Donna?" she asks, worry etched on her face.
"I'll be at Nana's… I can't...I can't be here. Not now. I'm sorry mom," she says and her mother nods in silent understanding. Giving her daughter a hug, she watches Donna get on her bike and disappear down the street.
NY County District Attorney's Office, 2005
She walks into the small office, places the files he requested and a cup of dark roast coffee with vanilla but stays put. Harvey had taken off his suit jacket earlier and his well defined upper body is encased in a fitted white long sleeved shirt. As with all his dress shirts, she loves to look at the embroidered H.S. that sits on the left cuff. His tie today is a classic midnight blue with thin silver diagonal lines, and she can't help but admire how handsome he looks. But she scolds herself for secretly ogling him. She's here to make a request and quickly puts those thoughts away.
"What is it, Donna?" Harvey asks without looking up from the document he was currently marking.
"I need the afternoon off," she replies and he can see her fidget in place from the corner of his eye.
"It's Friday, Donna. You can't bail on me when we have the Bonifield case to prepare for next week," he says still writing without looking up at her, "I promise you can go to the next audition. Today, I need you here."
"It's not for an audition, Harvey," her voice sounds almost flat, lacking her usual spirited tone.
He frowns and looks up at her, his brown eyes silently questioning her.
"It's Nana..." she explains, "She had a small accident. I want to go help her until my aunt arrives sometime between tomorrow night and Sunday morning to care for her."
He drops the pen and gives her a worried look, "Is she ok? Is she still in Cortland? How do you plan to get there?"
She gives him a smile and shakes her head, he had always had a soft spot for her Nana. Even though he doesn't know the woman in person, he knew enough about the spunky grandma through Donna to almost feel like he did.
"She dislocated her left shoulder. And yes, she's still in Cortland… I was hoping to take the 1:25 p.m. bus and make it by evening. "
"Nonsense! I'll drive you," he says as he reaches back for his suit jacket.
"Harvey…", she slants her head slightly and looks him straight at him.
"Donna…", he mimics her head slant and matches her tone.
Just like that, she knows that she won't win this argument even before it begins.
Reaching into his suit jacket, Harvey extracts a key ring and hands it over to her.
"This is the key to my condo. Get your stuff and I'll meet you there. I'll go sign out one of the cars and be there in about an hour. If we leave by noon we might make it under 3 hours before traffic gets bad," he stops at the door when he notices she hasn't moved from her spot and instead, is looking at him with her mouth open.
"What?" he asks, "My parents live in Boston so this is not my first rodeo, Donna. C'mon, you're stalling!"
Donna's standing by the window when he arrives and she jumps in surprise, not expecting him to open the door but knock, since she had his key.
"Did you get your stuff?" he asks as he heads down the hallway for what she had already discovered was his bedroom. "I'll just pack something and we'll be on our way," he adds and disappears for a few minutes.
She looks around the well-furnished condo and can't help but wonder how can Harvey afford this place. She's deep in thought when he returns with a leather bag in his hand, dressed in khaki pants and a black v-neck sweater.
"What's that look for?" he asks, humor dancing in his chocolate gaze when he notices the frown on her face.
Donna places a hand on her waist and with her other hand points a finger at their surroundings.
"I was just wondering, how exactly can you afford this place with your salary?" she asks.
He chuckles and drops both his hands into his pockets.
"I'm an investment.. How do you even know how much I earn?"
"I'm Donna. I know everything," she answers but jumps to the next question, "What do you mean by "an investment? Is Gordon, Schmidt and Van Dyke behind this?"
Harvey stalls for a minute as he heads for the kitchen area. Thanks to the condo's open floor plan she can see him reach for a glass from one of the cabinets.
He takes his time pouring some water for himself and offers her a glass as well. He can see that the look on her face tells him that she is waiting for his anwer.
"Yes and no," he answers after taking a drink of his water, "Jessica Pearson from Gordon, Schmidt and Van Dyke is. She paid for my tuition at Harvard and wants me to gain trial experience at the D.A.'s office. Jessica wants me to be ready for anything once I land in the corporate world."
Donna nods but is not looking at him when she says, "she's priming you for battle..." Thoughts flurry through her mind and she won't let him see her confusion.
Harvey can't see her face clearly, only the reflection of it, since she turned once again to face the large windows. Harvey can't understand what her expression means. Instead, he places the glass on top of the kitchen counter and walks towards her until he's standing next to her.
He can feel her agitation and wishes he could soothe it down. After a minute or so, he can hear her breath even out and go back to its regular rhythm. And this somehow helps him find his peace. They're standing so close that Harvey can feel the fingers of his left hand flutter and almost touch hers.
"You're coming along with me," he says, his voice soft, intimate.
He can see her nod out of the corner of his eye and then lets a small exhale leave her lips and turns around to face him. Her eyes have lost the fog that had covered them minutes before, and instead, they shine with her usual excitement. And like that, he can see the sassy, witty Donna Paulsen he knows, return.
"Of course! And if we don't leave right away, we run the risk of getting stuck in the Friday evening traffic."
He looks at her, confused and partly feeling deflated. She had easily and kindly dismissed his words. Or maybe she had misunderstood, he thought.
"Yeah," his voice is slightly hoarse with embarrassment but quickly masks it with a smile, "let's get to your Nana as soon as we can"
A/N: Happy first day of Spring! Thank you to do those of you who have read, favorited and decided to follow my stories. It's flattering and an honor at the same time. For now, I hope you enjoy Ch.2 Analyze Part I and let me know what you think. Part II will most likely be out this weekend. XO