"Does your family do Christmas on Christmas or Christmas Eve?"
Sirius frowned at Lily, spinning a green apple in his palm.
"James's parents did Christmas on Christmas Day," Sirius answered.
"Oh," Lily said, looking sad.
"Don't worry. I just don't like talking about my family. Until I moved in with the Potters I never even really understood what people meant when they talked about the spirit of Christmas. The most memorable Christmas with my family was when someone, probably one of my cousins, outed me," Sirius said biting into the apple and leaning back against the kitchen counter.
"Oh god. I'm so sorry," Lily said, lifting a hand to her mouth.
Sirius shrugged.
"It gave me the push I needed to make myself safe. My parents were never going to accept my gender," Sirius said and took another bite of apple.
"I'm trying to figure out sort of comfort levels and if I wanted to celebrate the holidays what everyone would be most comfortable with. Not in a religious way. I mean I'm a pagan anyhow. Sort of. I'm slightly Catholic in that way that it will always be a part of me," Lily said.
"I'm an atheist. Or an agnostic," Sirius said.
"Not both?" Lily said.
"I guess. I'm not sure I get the meanings that well. It's not that I believe there's nothing so much as I don't really believe in anything. I don't know and I don't care," Sirius said.
Lily looked a little uncomfortable.
"It's not really a big deal though. Not believing. I'm all apathy, I swear," Sirius said with a grin, biting into the apple again.
"Yeah. I just don't want to alienate anyone. I mean Remus isn't really religious either but I already know he doesn't mind religious stuff," Lily said.
Sirius couldn't stop himself from grinning. A mention of the reclusive hottie in the attic always got Sirius a little excited. The two of them had been having a little bit of back and forth via texting the last couple of weeks, even if Sirius had barely laid eyes on Remus during that time.
"Oh? That's cool. I don't either. James is pretty religious. He loves him some Jesus. But not in a Jesus hates gay people way so much as a Jesus loves everyone sort of way," Sirius said.
Lily green eyes got wide and she made a pleased grin.
"I must admit I love when cute guys don't think I'm going to burn in hell," Lily said with a happy nod.
"Nah, James isn't like that. I'm not really sure what it is he believes. You'd have to ask him," Sirius said.
Lily chuckled.
"I don't think we're there yet," Lily said.
"That's fair. Anyhow… as far as I'm concerned it's your house. If you wanna Christmas it up go for it," Sirius said.
Lily looked thoughtful, like she was contemplating something.
"I wish my girlfriends were here. It's good to have a shopping buddy. I could invite Remus but… I know he won't be into it. I don't want to bother him," Lily said, looking disappointed.
Sirius tossed the apple core in garbage and said, "I wouldn't mind helping out."
"Really?" Lily said, her face scrunching up in surprise.
"I'm not doing anything else. I can be your shopping buddy," he replied.
Sirius wanted to mention that he'd spent lots of time thinking about how to frame spaces because of his photography but he still wasn't ready to talk about that with his new roommates.
"Yeah. OK. Meet me at the car in say two minutes?" Lily said.
"Oh. Wow. Yeah. OK. Uh… yeah," Sirius said and rushed out of the kitchen to get a coat on fast.
"I was only kidding!" Lily called out laughing.
"What kind of music do you like, Sirius?" Lily said as they got in her car.
"Oh, uh. Lots of stuff. I like a lot of female vocalists. A lot of indie pop… I don't really listen to the radio much," Sirius said.
"Geez, I wouldn't have rented to you if I knew you were a friggin' hipster," Lily said, winking at him as she plugged in her iPod.
Sirius laughed and said, "No, no. I'm not a hipster! I don't care how famous an artist is or anything. Just give me a strong melody and a good beat and I'm cool," Sirius said.
"It's funny but I took you for the sort of guy who likes The Cure or Joy Division or Bauhaus or Sisters of Mercy," Lily said.
"Just because I'm really pale, have dark hair and my last name is Black doesn't mean I'm a goth," Sirius said with a raised eyebrow.
"That's fair," Lily said, telling her iPod to play her dance and hip-hop playlist.
"Not Christmas music?" Sirius asked as Lily began to pull out of the long driveway.
"Nah. I like saving it for a few days before. If you wear it out before the holiday comes it loses all meaning," Lily said.
"So where are we going?" Sirius asked as they drove down the road away from the house.
"I don't know. Not Wal-Mart!" Lily said.
"Yeah. Fuck Wal-Mart," Sirius sneered.
"I think I want find something more thrifty. And also I worked at a Wal-Mart for a few years. I've had enough of them for a lifetime," Lily said.
"There's a place a downtown actually. Molly and Arthur's. A thrift store downstairs and they live upstairs. They're always really friendly," Sirius said.
"Cool," Lily said.
Shortly, they pulled into the small parking lot next to Molly and Arthur's. Lily felt a bit silly for not having inquired where all the cool spots in town were from James and Sirius before now and followed Sirius inside with enthusiasm.
The place smelled amazing. There was a distinct scent of sweet baked goods wafting through the door. A woman with fiery red hair much lighter than Lily's own smiled at them and waving, interrupting her sweeping.
"Hello, hello! Sirius, you haven't been in for months!" the woman said, rushing over and hugging him to her surprise and apparently his as well based on the face he made over the woman's shoulder.
"Sorry. We just moved actually. It's a farther walk now," Sirius said.
The woman released him and turned to Lily.
"Hi. I'm Molly. Molly Weasley. My husband I own this shop. Please, look around. Oh, if you both would like I have some cookies baking upstairs," Molly said.
"Hi! I'm Lily Oh, that would be nice," Lily said, shaking her hand.
"If you'll excuse me, I need to check on the children…" Molly said and went over to the staircase that went upstairs and dashed up.
"Molly and Arthur have… five kids I think? She just had twins earlier this year, believe it or not," Sirius said as they started wandering down the aisles of the store.
"Five. Wow. I'd like to have a kid someday. I… don't know about five. That's… she and her husband… stay busy," Lily said.
"Yeah. Arthur also is on the city council," Sirius said.
The Weasleys had a large section with Christmas decorations, many of them quite eccentric novelty items.
"Woah. Sexy Santa!" Lily said, holding up a figurine of a surprisingly well-tanned and ripped Santa Claus, only wearing a pair of swim shorts while he held a surfboard in his arms.
"I mean who doesn't need a sexy Santa Claus?" Sirius said.
Lily giggled and placed him in her handcart.
"Oooo, Rudolph the Rainbow-Nosed Reinqueer!" Sirius said, picking up a reindeer figure that had a light-up rainbow colored nose.
"Amazing," Lily said and tossed it in the basket.
Moments later Molly came back down with a small boy at her side.
"Say hello, Percy," Molly said, nudging the boy.
"Hi," the boy said with a small wave.
"Hi!" Lily said, waving at him.
"He's growing so fast," Sirius said.
"They do that. In a few years, Bill and Charlie will be taller than me," Molly said.
Lily didn't think that was too difficult a task given how short Molly Weasley was.
"Well, I'll let you get back to your shopping. Come along, Percy…" Molly said, leading the boy over to checkout counter at the front of the store.
Suddenly there was the sound of a crying baby upstairs that was quickly joined by another. Molly sighed.
"Well, there they go. When one cries, they both do. Yes, I'm coming Fred and George, dears," Molly said, heading upstairs while Percy remained seated on a stool at the checkout counter.
By the time Molly came back down, Lily and Sirius had finished their shopping and were standing at the checkout counter.
"The cookies have cooled if you want to come upstairs now," Molly said, as she handed Lily her change.
The upstairs domicile covered two floors and was extremely cozy. It reminded Lily of a relative's house she had visited as a child. She couldn't recall who she had been. Maybe she wasn't even in a relative but rather a friend of her parents. She had been an older woman who had covered her walls with things that said Home Sweet Home and art carved out of real wood. It was probably what her great aunt's house had been like before relatives stripped it of all its character.
The cookies were delicious, though not vegan. Lily felt a little bad about betraying her own veganism but didn't suppose the vegan police would arrest her for having two cookies.
With the cookies eaten and a short tour of the home given Lily and Sirius headed out to look for more Christmas decorations of the more traditional sort. The local Goodwill had a section set out for cheap Christmas decorations.
"Ooo, look at this wreath!" Lily said, rushing over and picking it up.
The wood felt real but the small white flowers that graced it definitely weren't.
"That's lovely," Sirius said.
"Right?" Lily said, holding it up with joy.
There was something about buying things that looked nice but weren't expensive that gave her a great amount of joy. There was something deeply therapeutic about shopping in general.
They also found some lights to hang up around the living room and some other figures and accents. It wouldn't be the most Christmassey Christmas ever but it wouldn't be bad.
"Maybe we should do a Christmas dinner," Sirius suggested as they drove home.
"Maybe," Lily said, suspecting there was no way she'd be able to get Remus to attend.
"I've never had a vegan Christmas," Sirius said.
"Me either. Not exactly. My mom tried to make me some vegan dishes for the last few Christmases before…"
The death of her parents still weighed heavily on her. She wondered if it always would. To her surprise, Sirius rubbed her shoulder. She smiled at him to let him know it was OK.
Once they were home Lily quickly put the wreath on the front door and tried to find places for all the figures. James Potter entered the house with a whistle.
"It's beginning to look like Christmas!" James said with excitement.
Lily beamed with pride while Sirius said, "Yeah. A bit."
"You need a tree? I mean, do you want a tree? I could get a tree," James said rubbing his hands together, leading Lily to almost believe he could conjure one by magic.
"I don't know. They are kind of a pain," Lily said.
"I could get an artificial tree. Honestly, I'm surprised I don't already own one," James said.
Lily went to the northwestern corner of the room, next to the TV and contemplated the space.
"We'd need to move things. Yeah. OK," Lily said.
"Awesome," James said, continuing to rub his hands together.
"I make it your quest, James Potter, to find a fake Christmas tree and bring it to me. Also maybe you could get some balls… Erm… you know. The kind you hang… on Christmas trees. Why are you guys looking at me like that?" Lily laughed.
"Sure. Some balls. And a star for the top?" James said.
"Yeah. That'll probably do for this year. Thanks," Lily said.
"No problem. Coming with me, Sirius?" James asked.
"Nah. I'm shopped out for today," Sirius said.
"Geez. Stealing my best friend, are you?" James said with a wink and headed back out.
A couple of hours later, James was back with the tree and some ornaments. He and Lily set it up with amazing energy and speed. Sirius offered to help but they seemed to have it under control. By the time sun had set the living room looked very nice. Sirius pulled out his phone and took a picture of James and Lily standing proudly in front of tree, telling himself it wasn't photography, not really.
There was something fascinating about the way that James and Lily looked at each other. Their attraction was palpable. It was cute in a sort of nauseating way. He wondered if what they felt was similar to the tingly feelings he was getting about Remus Lupin. Something about the way they looked at each other struck Sirius as being more driven out of a desire to get physical in some capacity. And that wasn't exactly what he was feeling. He wasn't really sure what he was feeling other than interested.
But he didn't see much hope for anything really happening between him and Remus. For one thing, Remus hardly left the attic. On the other hand, every time Sirius got a text from Remus his heart started pounding in that stupid way that he craved whenever it was gone.
They were still talking about doing that Marvel movie marathon but it hadn't happened yet. Remus had made tentative dates only to bail shortly before a couple of times. Sirius was trying his best to be patient but it wasn't always easy. Remus was more introverted and shy than anyone he had ever met. But it didn't make any sense. How could someone so beautiful want to hide it all away?
"We should get stoned," Lily said suddenly, startling Sirius from his thoughts.
"Yeah. We've probably earned it," James said.
"Count me out," Sirius said with an apologetic wave.
"Aww you don't want to sit and watch anime with us?" Lily asked.
"Nah. Have fun," Sirius said and headed over to his room, more than happy to leave those two to themselves.
The house seemed quiet, Remus thought. He opened the attic door and peered out. There were no lights on upstairs. He slowly walked downstairs, being careful not to wake anyone up. As he passed the living room he had a start as he spotted Lily and James lying on the couch together, Lily with her head against James's shoulder, covering him in dark red hair. He cracked an embarrassed smile and carried on to the kitchen.
He turned on the kitchen light and roamed about for a snack of some sort. He had been writing all day and had forgotten to eat again. This happened all the time. It was even easier with lots of roommates. He was constantly torn by his desire to see more of Sirius Black and his very real fear of talking to Sirius Black. It didn't matter how much he told himself it was stupid and irrational, the anxiety remained his constant companion.
Remus assembled a tunafish sandwich as quickly as he could, fearing as always that someone would wake up and come in the kitchen. If he was fast enough he could get out. He silently praised himself for eating his tuna dry. He didn't like mayo. He hated when people made fun of him for eating his tuna dry but he knew what he liked and that was all that mattered. It was nothing a big glass of water couldn't fix.
The sound of a toilet flushing in the bathroom startled him and he dropped his fork. He sighed and picked it up. He took it to the sink to clean it off and that's when he heard footsteps softly moving into the kitchen. Remus glanced behind him with trepidation, seeing the handsome face of Sirius Black smiling at him.
"Hey," Remus said quietly.
"Hey," Sirius said, relieving Remus when he went about his business.
Remus was almost certain he would confront of him about their plans to marathon Marvel movies. Part of him was disappointed that he didn't. He felt guilty about it. It was his idea after all.
"We should do the marathon on New Years. For real I mean," Remus said, forcing himself to smile even though he was nervous.
Seeing Sirius grin in response was enough to ensure that his smile wasn't forced.
"Are you sure?" Sirius asked.
"Yeah. I won't cancel this time. I promise. I know that's still almost two weeks away but… Well, it's time to prepare," Remus said, hoping Sirius didn't ask him to explain what he meant by prepare.
"Fair," Sirius said, closing the cabinet he had been rummaging through.
"Am I in your way? I was just making a sandwich. I'm done, actually," Remus said, grabbing his plate.
"Nah. I don't even want anything. Do you ever just… Like you're not really hungry but you're bored and you feel like eating something will entertain your mouth?" Sirius said then yawned.
Remus chuckled, wanting to affectionately call Sirius a dork but resisting the urge.
"Yeah. I keep lots of snacks of in my room. But I lose track of time…" Remus said trailing off, distracted by James snoring in the living room.
Sirius glanced behind him into the living room and shook his head.
"I can't believe his snoring hasn't woken her up," Sirius said.
"Guess you haven't seen her smoke pot. She's in a cannabis coma," Remus said.
Sirius silently laughed and shook his head.
"Well, I guess I'm going back to bed. Hopefully, I can shut my mind off," Sirius said.
"Yeah. See you on New Year's. I mean… before New Year's too. But especially," Remus said.
"You bet," Sirius said, disappearing from the kitchen.
Remus followed not far behind, turning off the light and creeping past the living room, only stopping to glance to realise it hadn't been James who had been snoring at all.
Snoring woke James up. He blinked and looked at the screen. It was graced by a message asking if they were still watching Netflix.
"S'pose, not," he said to the TV and glanced at the snoring figure who had her head laying on his shoulder, a little drool dripping from the corner of her mouth.
James shifted and Lily popped up.
"Huh?" Lily said.
"We passed out. Are you cold?" James asked, rubbing his forearms.
"Yeah," Lily said and got up from the sofa and went into the hall to turn on the heater.
"Do you smell tuna?" Lily said, making a revolted face.
"I guess," James said as Lily wandered into the kitchen.
"Someone had tuna," Lily said, looking at the recycling bin.
James's stomach rumbled.
"Tuna sounds good," James said.
"I'll pass," Lily said, and opened the refrigerator, pulling out a bag of baby carrots.
"Oh, those look good too," James said.
Lily nodded at him and held out the bag, letting him stick his fingers inside to pull some out.
"Thanks," James said, crunching into one.
"No problem," Lily said with a warm smile.
They stood there in silence, munching on baby carrots, occasionally glancing and smiling at each other. James was suddenly filled with happiness. This felt normal. This felt good. He wondered if it had ever felt this good with his last girlfriend, Charity. He didn't think so, though he had loved her with everything he had.
He was already falling for this girl. He urged himself to be cool and take it easy. But then Lily smiled at him again and he wondered if that would even be possible. This… might be a problem, he realised. But that was all right. James Potter never backed down from a challenge.