Diego's twenty four weeks in the Academy are a relief after the five weeks he spent without any kind of structure. There's a stark relief in waking up in the morning with his life worked out. He mops the floor and disinfects the equipment. He then starts his early morning jog out to catch the subway to the Academy.
He makes sure to wave hello to his working friends as they head homes or linger for a late customer. He picks up a sandwich from Moishe's Deli and manages to make it just in time get in line for calisthenics. He makes his way to his new team and warms up with them as the rest of the Cadet class. Beaman, Yamaguchi, Patch and Horton always look various levels of offended at him in the mornings.
They spend the first few weeks giving him a hard time when they find out he shares a birthday with the Umbrella Academy kids but they don't connect the dots. Diego counts his blessings.
The book learning is hard, but Diego read Municipal Codes over and over again as he helps Moishe close his deli. He Goes of State Law as he scrubs the bathrooms at Frank's gym and runs load after load of laundry.
The weeks are over faster than he like and the transition to being a probationary rookie is harder than he thought. His senior partner spends half his time telling Diego to use less force. Being in the field makes everything harder. His instincts claw under his skin to teach the scumbags a lesson. He gets rough with the violent drunks and his written up at least twice for using excessive force when responding to domestic violence calls.
The one thing that keeps baffling his partner and his superiors how gentle he is with junkie calls. He can't help but see Klaus in every violent meth head and delirious smack addict. Even his senior partner tells him he has a knack for talking down the worst crackheads. Not that Diego likes his brother. It's just that after spending most of his childhood terrorizing Klaus, he got a little attached to that asshole.
Diego hates his job sometimes. He hates the way it holds him back. He hates all the rules that make him feel like he's six years old and getting Allison's muzzle wrapped around his face because dear old Dad is sick of hearing his stutter. He spends more time than he cares feeling frustrated and on the verge of snapping.
Diego has worked so hard to get everything he wants and he still feels like he isn't good enough. Some days he wraps a blanket around a coked out vagrant and he feels like he's found his place in the world. Other days, he has to watch his partner get stabbed during a call and his hands itch for his knives.
He does his best to put up with snide comment from some of the other cops. He doesn't even understand some of it. He can tell by the tone and the snickers when it's something that should be offensive but as a rookie he just has to take it. He worries that he's going to crack a tooth from all the time he spends with his jaw clenched.
"Oye, Conejito," Rodriguez says, leaning into his space in a way that makes him feel threatened. "Quieres mostrarme sus diamantes?" She twirls her finger to indicate his chest.
Yeah, Diego's not going to put up with this. He crossed his arm and pointedly takes a wide side step away from her. "Yeah, I'm not going to put up with this. I don't know what you just said but I'm pretty HR wouldn't be happy if I repeated it back. Keep your weird, racist shit to yourself."
Rodriguez laughs at him. "Oh honey," she said, "You're even dumber than I thought. You're lucky you're pretty."
He repeats the conversation back to his team over drinks that week.
"Yeah. I don't know Spanish, but I know she's a bitch." Yamaguchi puts a couple dollars in the middle of the table. "That's for your drink, Hargreeves."
Horton throws a couple more bills on the table and says something Diego doesn't catch. He's really got to learn ASL.
Beaman reaches for his wallet, "That was sexual harassment. She called you a bunny and asked you to show her your diamonds." He shudders. "Man I feel dirty just repeating it."
Patch and Yamaguchi both cringe. Horton rolls her eyes.
Diego's clearly missing something. "I think I'm missing something," He says. "Is this some kind of rich kid crack? What to rabbits have to do with money?"
Yamaguchi squints at him. "Are you Amish?" He asks.
Diego crosses his arms. "I was homeschooled."
Beaman leans forward, eyes wide. Horton doesn't even look surprised.
"How homeschooled?" Yamaguchi asks, squinting further. "Like- like- fuck, I don't even know. Did they put you in a tower and make you fight a dragon to get out?"
Diego hunches a little, looking down at the table. "Mom taught us and she wasn't allowed to leave the house so we just stayed at home. Dad made us all study different things and if he caught us with contraband, he'd flip."
Beaman makes a face and leans back. "Oh, you're from one of those households."
"Let me guess," Patch says, grabbing a fry from the basket. "Your Dad was an over controlling dominant bordering on abusive."
Diego shakes his head and even as he does it, he feels like he's lying. "He w-" Diego says, feeling the words start to get caught. He takes a deep breath. "Look, can you just tell me what the spanish stuff means?"
Horton gives him a sympathetic look and leans over just enough to give him a quick half hug with her left arm.
"Rodriguez was calling you a sub and asking you to get naked. Bunny's a dirty nickname for subs that like being tied up. The rope knots can leave imprints that look like diamonds," Beaman tries to take a sip from his empty whiskey glass. "Now I feel dirty. Thanks, Hargreeves. Thanks a lot."
It takes Diego a minute to wrap his mind around it. He doesn't get the appeal of being tied up at all. He's been kidnapped and tied up so many times that it's just annoying. Sometimes the rope scratches and it's almost never comfortable. Well, except for that one time with Rook, but Rook had done such a shitty job that Diego's leg had been left free and he just walked out of the place on his own.
His Dad used to make Pogo tie up Diego and all his brothers and sisters to make them practice getting out of knots. Well, not Vanya but everyone else. Diego really did not get the appeal. Also, having a chimpanzee as a practically a third parent killed the appeal of animal nicknames. It made Diego feel racist.
"Don't punch her next time she calls you that," Patch says before reaching for another handful of fries.
"I'm not going to punch her," Diego says, reaching for his own fry.
Yamaguchi and Horton share a look.
"Mmhmm," Beaman tries to take another sip of his empty glass and scowls at it. "If there's one thing I know about you, Hargreeves, is that your first solution to a problem is to punch it. And your second solution is to punch it again."
Diego scowls and takes a long sip of his milk to keep himself from saying something stupid.
Patch snickers. "Look, just do what I do. When she calls you something stupid, remind yourself that it's not worth your badge and ignore a Dom, I refuse to let Doms like her set a standard for Doms everywhere."
"No way," Beaman shakes his head so emphatically he nearly falls off his stool. "If she calls you bunny, you call her a bunny right back. Mama didn't raise no bitchass punk."
Yamaguchi chokes back a laugh. "I don't think my advice would work in this situation."
"Why, what would you do?" Patch asks.
The corner of Yamaguchi's mouth twitches. "I'd fuck her."
Horton clutches her police badge, completely scandalized.
Yamaguchi shrugs. "She's a hot bitch and she have you seen the way she moves her hands in full bitch mode? I bet she flogs like a dream." He spreads his arms in a grandiose gesture. "As an ethical ropebunny, I would be happy to take one for the team. Hopefully more than one. Make love, not war."
Patch starts snickering again. "Yeah, no. That's not going to work for Punchy McDom here."
"Ask her if she likes male switches," Yamaguchi demands. "Be a friend, Hargreeves. I'm thirsty."
"Fine," Diego says, rolling his eyes. He grabs the nearest waitress and orders Yamaguchi a refill.
Patch laughs so hard she falls off the stool.