7x12 - Don't ever do that to me again

He stood still at the entry to the waiting room. She hadn't heard him, didn't look up. Jane grasped the jacket he had in his hands tighter. She was waiting for him. She'd buried her face in her hands; looking very tired. No one else was in the room with her, which was why she'd allowed herself this sign of weakness in the first place.

Jane swallowed hard. His ears were still ringing and his throat felt sore from the smoke he'd inhaled, but he hardly felt any of this. He only saw her. She'd brought him immediately to the hospital, not even waiting until the back-up showed up at the scene.

They hadn't spoken much during the drive here, partly because he'd had difficulties to breathe, let alone speak. However, that hadn't been the only reason. He hadn't seen her that scared in a long time. Her knuckles had been white, because she'd gripped the steering wheel that strongly. She seemed in shock, hardly believing that she found him. And he'd been equally stunned – recovering from the explosion and only slowly realising that it was over. He'd felt surprisingly calm during the whole abduction; he'd always felt in control. Keller had been a lunatic, but in his own way predictable and easy to read.

Jane still hadn't said a word and he couldn't take his eyes of her. She looked beyond tired – exhaustion – that was the word that described her most accurately. Suddenly Jane wanted nothing more than to take her home.

"Hi", his voice still sounded a bit hoarse.

She looked up at his words and he smiled at her reassuringly.

"How are you?", she asked him as he walked over and took a seat beside her.

"I'm fine. It takes more than a bit of smoke and gas to keep me in a hospital". He grinned at her, but immediately saw that his words hadn't been enough to calm her.

"Seriously, I'm good. A sore throat and a bit of a headache is the worst I have to expect for the next days." He took her hand. "Thanks to you."

He wasn't sure he would have been able to get out of the building on his own before the whole house got up in flames.

"Thank you", he added softly, never taking his eyes of her. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. I'm not the one that was kidnapped by a crazy killer", she answered, almost defensively. Jane shrugged, before he added. "You know what I mean."

Her phone started ringing that moment and Jane sighed, as she pulled it out of her pocket,.

"It's Abbott", she said after looking at the caller's ID. "I guess he wants an update on you."

"Can I talk to him?", he asked her. She seemed a tad surprised but she gave him the phone nonetheless. "Sure, go ahead."

"Abbott", Jane greeted his boss.

"Its Jane. Yeah, I'm fine, no need to worry. Listen… " , he began, to avoid any further questions concerning his well being. "There's something you should know…" In as few words as possible he told Abbott what had happened and that he'd found a body hidden in Keller's basement.

After Abbott in turn had informed him about the newest developments at the scene, Jane asked: "Do you need me", he glanced at Lisbon and corrected himself, "do you need us at the office, today?" He couldn't prevent a grin when he heard Abbott's reply.

"Sounds fine with me. I'll be sure to pass the message on to Lisbon", he said and winked at Lisbon, who looked more confused by the minute.

He disconnected the call and handed her the phone back.

"All done."

"What did he say? Did they find Keller?", she asked him.

Jane shook his head. "They're still not able to enter the house, too much heat. It will be at least a few hours before the fire is fully extinguished. I don't think he could survive that, but we'll know more tomorrow."

He stood up. "There's nothing we can do at the moment. Oh, and before I forget it, Abbott doesn't want to see you even close to the office before you got at least 10 hours of sleep."

Lisbon smiled at him, for the first time since she found him in that house.

"I had no intentions of going there today."

"Glad to hear that." He offered her his hand and pulled her on her feet. He wanted nothing more than to get as far away as possible from that hospital.

The moment Jane entered the house he felt the tiredness in his whole body. It had been easy to ignore it in the hospital, but here in the comfort of her home, he didn't feel like pretending any more. However, he couldn't allow himself to sleep just yet - Lisbon had been right, even if he'd tried to protest for a moment in the car, but they needed to eat something. She'd stopped at their favourite Thai and got them something for a late lunch, or early diner.

"Why don't you take a shower while I warm up the food", she suggested. The idea to get rid of the stench of smoke that followed him was appealing. He nodded. "Ok. I'll be back soon."

And he kept his word. Hardly five minutes later they were sitting at the table. Lisbon still seemed slightly beside herself and he hadn't wanted to leave her alone longer than necessary. But that was only half the truth; he also hadn't wanted to stay away from her for his own sake.

They ate mostly in silence again and even if Lisbon tried to persuade him otherwise, he insisted on doing the dishes afterwards, while she took a shower herself.

He waited for her in her bedroom.

"Hi", he said softly as she stepped out of the bathroom.

"Hey you", she answered and he took a deep breath to calm himself. He'd thought himself unaffected by what had happened, but now he felt the relief of being here with her wash over him. There had been a moment the night before, where he'd wondered whether he would ever see her again.

She hadn't said a word about it yet, but he saw it in her eyes; she went through hell the last day, maybe even more so than himself. At least he'd known that she was safe and alive – Lisbon on the other hand had to be expecting the worst.

Her thoughts seemed to revolve around the same topic – but she seemed to come to a different conclusion than him.

She folded her arms in front of her body.

"I told you this was a bad idea!"

Jane almost laughed, despite the seriousness of the situation. This was so typical Lisbon. Instead of dealing with the fear she'd experienced, she chose to be angry at him. He could understand her, but he also knew that this wouldn't work, not this time.

"You want to argue about that, now?", he asked her. "Fine, we can do that. I just did my job, I thought that's what you wanted. I thought you of all people should understand that."

She looked at him, clearly staggered that he would dare to use her own argument against her.

"That's not the same! You made it personal, Jane; you put yourself out there as bait. Abbott never should have allowed it. He even told me as much!" Her voice had grown louder with each word. That was good. She needed to get this out of her system, before he'd be able to really talk to her.

He shrugged. "Maybe you're right, maybe it wasn't exactly the same. However, it worked, we've got him…or at least it looks like that. Who knows how many innocent people he could have killed already if he hadn't been occupied talking to me?"

"And what if he had killed you?", she shouted at him. "Did you think about that?"

"I did, every single minute he hold me captive. " His answer completely took the wind out of her sails and he literally could see how her anger collapsed.

"I thought about how I'd never be able to see you, I thought about all I would miss. I thought about how you'd feel…, "he swallowed against the lump that suddenly formed in his throat. He remembered what he'd told her on the cemetery after Vega's funeral, how he wouldn't care if he died. He couldn't have been more wrong.

"I did everything I could to get out of there, to get back to you!"

She blinked against the tear and Jane slowly approached her.

"And I did everything I could to find you", she whispered.

"And you did find me."

She grasped his arms for support.

"I can't lose you. Not after all that happened, not now!", her voice failed her. "You can't leave me Jane. I... I need you."

He pulled her close, pressing a kiss into her still damp hair as sobs shook her small body.

"I'm here now", he whispered, holding her tight against him. "I'm here."

He kept on saying that, just holding her in his arms until she slowly calmed down. She seemed embarrassed when she finally looked up at him with tear-stained cheeks. He shook his head before she could speak.

"Don't you dare to apologise for that."

She smiled at him as he so easily saw through her. "Ok", she whispered.

Jane tilted her chin up and kissed her softly.

Jane watched her sleep, unable to drift off himself. She looked so peaceful now, but still in her sleep she clung to him. He couldn't resist and placed a kiss on her bare shoulder, pulling her even closer. She only slightly stirred in her sleep and curled even more into him.

"Don't leave me, Jane", that's what she'd said. She'd been scared and not just while he'd been abducted. Her fear went deeper. He'd left her hardly two weeks ago. Even worse, he'd left her after they'd lost a colleague. Instead of being there for here, he'd run away. He had needed the time to think, but it still didn't justify what he'd done to her; again.

"I'm sorry", Jane murmured against her neck, even if he knew that she couldn't hear him. He wouldn't disappoint here ever again. He played with the ring on his finger.

He actually had planned to wait a while longer, to get the house ready first…but the last day taught him not to waste any more time. They'd waited long enough; or more precisely he'd made her wait long enough. He would ask her the following day. He couldn't wait to see her reaction, to finally show her and the whole world that he was hers.