The good thing about moving out of the Shinsengumi headquarters so soon after coming back is that he didn't have much to pack.
"Saito? I've brought your...oh."
Yukimura was standing at the door with her arms full of his cleaned laundry, looking at his half packed possessions. "Thank you," he said. "Those will be useful." He held out his hands and she handed over the clothes, their fingers lightly brushing together. She stood very still, and her face was sad.
"Do you really have to go? It's not fair."
"Fair?" he said. Did she mean she on herself? No, it was more likely that she meant it wasn't fair on him. "It is in my best interests to leave. With time and separation, people's resentment of me will pass."
"But they shouldn't resent you at all! If you just explained..."
He shook his head. "To explain that my support of Itou was a subterfuge would expose Hijikata and Kondou to censure for ordering me to behave duplicitously. That would tarnish the name of the Shinsengumi as a whole. My name has no value to anyone but myself, and I do not consider it harmed by these false assumptions."
"But you are harmed," she said. "You were beaten."
"Not very badly," said Hajime. Yukimura's expression implied that she considered this a contradiction in terms, and he hoped she would always be able to hold onto such innocence. "And I will be safe in my new post."
She shook her head, unconvinced, but didn't argue further. Instead she just stood in his doorway, fidgeting, like she wanted to say something but was too shy to express it. It was impossibly endearing.
"Yukimura? If there is nothing else I should return to packing."
She just fidgeted more intensely. "Um..." she started, and then she looked as if she was about to turn away. But then her expression turned determined. "I...I got you a gift."
"A gift?" His heart stopped for a beat.
"Yes," she said, her voice becoming fast and nervous. "I actually got it to thank you for being my teacher, but then you left, and then when you came back everything was so hectic, and now you're leaving again. So I guess it's a going away present. But it's a thank you present too." She patted her kimono and then bit her lip. "Now I've made it sound like a big thing! It's very small. I don't know if you'll like it."
"I will," he said. That she had thought of him at all brought him happiness beyond description. Their eyes met and he saw that she believed him, and that it made her glad. He felt himself smile, even without meaning to. There was no space in his life for love, no way he could be the kind of a man a woman like Yukimura deserved. But in these small moments with her there was a beauty he cherished.
She reached into her kimono and took out a small bottle. "Here," she said. Their fingers brushed again as he took it, and though he had no intention of asking to hold her hand, he wondered what she would say if he did.
"Sword oil?" It was good quality, too, if he recognised the brand correctly, though he remembered it being a little more expensive than it should be. The bottle was pretty, though, a deep red that made him think of the ties in Yukimura's long dark hair.
"Is that too strange? I asked Okita and he said it was something you'd appreciate. Though that was months ago. Maybe you don't need it now."
"I always need sword oil," he said. "Thank you. This is a wonderful gift." Knowing that Souji had helped pick it made him happy, too. He knew how hard it was for Souji to let himself do anything nice.
Yukimura beamed, her beautiful face flush with joy. "I'm so glad!'
Hajime had no defence against the full force of Yukimura's smile. "I should get back to packing," he said, before he ended up making a fool of himself.
Her smile fell a little, and he cursed himself as a tactless oaf. But this was why he needed to keep things between them professional: she was such a kind hearted woman that she might take pity on his pathetic state, and be trapped with someone who could only make her unhappy.
"If I don't see you again...good bye, Saito," she said. "I will look after Okita for you."
"For me? Surely you should after him for himself."
Yukimura smiled. "Yes, that too," she said. "And Saito: I won't be able to look after you any more. So please look after yourself for me."
She looked at him very seriously. He could hardly tell her no. "I will," he said.
Saito was covered in blood. It clung to the gashes in his clothing, dripped from his mouth, and stained his hair, which was now white as snow.
He was suffering all this because of her. He had sacrificed his humanity to protect Chizuru, to follow his orders to keep her safe, and it was killing him. The Water of Life had made him stronger, and he fought as hard and as brilliantly as ever, but he was still no match for Kazama's demon strength.
Kazama was only here because of Chizuru and her value as a bride, as a pure blooded mother for his children. Because she was a demon, and a woman. There was no reason a human man like Saito should have to face such a foe. And now, because of her, because of her father's serum, he had lost that humanity, and become a Fury, doomed to lose his mind to an endless hunger for blood. What would that mean, for a man like Saito, who put so much value in honour and loyalty and doing what was right? How long would it be before he felt himself turning into a monster that threatened everything he held dear?
Chizuru gripped her sword and cursed her own weakness. All this talk of her pure demon blood, so many hours spent training, and for what? Kazama hadn't even seen her as a threat, he'd just knocked her to the ground like the irrelevance she was.
Kazama did see Saito as a threat. Despite Kazama's arrogant posturing, she could hear a little raggedness in his breath, and his clothes had their own scattering of cuts. But he was winning, and he knew it.
Kazama raised his sword. "Are you ready to die?"
Saito showed no sign of fear or regret. Chizuru could see that the answer was yes.
"Stop!"
For a moment Chizuru thought it might be her own voice. But it was not. It was...Sen? And Kimigiku, and a man who looked remarkably like Kaoru- which is to say, like Chizuru, his strangely familiar face framed by short dark hair. What was going on? Could they really be saved?
"Kazama Chikage!" hissed Sen, her voice fierce. "Having broken the Demon Code by interfering with human affairs, do you compound your sin by attempting to abduct this demon woman against her will?" Her eyes were wide and burned with a fiery determination Chizuru had never seen before. For the first time she properly understood that Sen was a Princess, the powerful leader of a demon clan. Even Kazama seemed intimidated, though he tried not to let it show.
Kazama's eyes narrowed. "It is my right," he said. "She has no protector, and I would treat her well."
Chizuru doubted intensely that marriage to Kazama would involve anything resembling decent treatment. And she had many protectors, most especially Saito, for all that Kazama had done his best to take him from her.
"She is under the protection and jurisdiction of the Yase clan!" Sen stepped towards Kazama and he stepped ever so slightly back. "You have been judged at the highest level and found wanting. If you persist in harassing her, you will be branded a stray demon and your clan will lose their status. Do you understand?" Kimigiku and the man didn't speak, but stood behind Sen looking intimidating.
Kazama stared at her, shoulders slightly bowed and eye twitching. "I understand," he said, bitterly. Then he took a breath and stood straight again. "If she is under demon protection then I am no longer needed." He smirked at Chizuru. "Try not to be so troublesome for this protector, girl, or you may find yourself without any at all." And then he vanished into the night.
What an ass. But at least he was gone. Chizuru let out a long, low breath of relief. "Thank you, Sen," she said. "That was amazing. You saved us!"
"Indeed, you have my thanks," said Saito, his breath still weak.
"I am only sorry we took so long to get here," said Sen. "We were being followed, and only just managed to lose our pursuers. Are you badly wounded?"
Saito shook his head. "I am, as you see, a Fury. My injuries are healed." His face was impassive, but Chizuru could sense that his heart was heavy. Hers was too. He was safe, now, but at the cost of much suffering, and there was no undoing what had been done.
"I am glad to hear it," said the man, in a voice that sounded like Kaoru's but deeper.
"Um," said Chizuru. She had to know, but how to ask? "Thank you for saving us. But, uh, are you..."
To her surprise, the man took her hands in his. "Don't you recognise me, little sister?" he said. "It's me, your brother Kaoru. I'm sorry I hid myself from you, and disguised my true nature. But we can be together now."
What?
Saito's eyes widened. "Her brother?" He looked to Chizuru for confirmation.
"I...I'm sorry?" said Chizuru. He did resemble her, but how...? And why had he pretended to be a woman? This was all too much at once.
"Ah, you have forgotten me," said Kaoru, sadly. "I suppose it has been a long time. We were separated when our village was destroyed, and raised separately. But I always remembered you, sister, and wanted to find you again." He put his hand to the sword on his hip and Saito tensed. Kaoru gave him a narrow eyed smile. "Ah, I apologise, I mean no threat! I wish to show my sister what proof I have of my identity." And then he held up his sword and it was the twin of Chizuru's own. Two Yukimura swords, for two children of the Yukimura clan.
"You are my brother," said Chizuru, voice soft. She had a brother! And he had come to save her, when things were at their most dark! But... he had also worked against the Shinsengumi in Kyoto, and had chosen to hide his identity from Chizuru for many years. Chizuru could hardly fault him for hiding his gender, since she was doing exactly the same thing. But something about Kaoru made Chizuru wary, even though a part of her wanted to trust him completely. "How did you come to meet Kimigiku and Sen?"
"We met at a meeting amongst the local demon clans about various issues regarding the war," said Sen. "I was arguing for the right to challenge Kazama, and when Nagumo here heard your name he spoke up and volunteered to help."
"My adoptive clan, the Nagumo, are aligned with Kazama," said Kaoru. "But when I heard he planned to use you as a broodmare I could not stay silent."
"Thank you both," said Chizuru. "Kazama has hurt so many people in his pursuit of me...I am so glad to know he is no longer a threat."
"As am I," said Saito.
"I won't let anything threaten my adorable little sister," said Kaoru.
"And I won't let anything hurt my friend," said Sen.
Kimigiku did not speak, but she nodded, and Chizuru felt a quiet certainty that she was committed to protecting Chizuru as well. She did not deserve so much kindness.
Suddenly Kaoru's face fell. "But sister, I have bad news. You were not the only member of our clan discussed at the meeting. We have dire news of Kodo, the man who calls himself your father."
"Calls himself?" A cold fear gripped Chizuru. It felt like everything was falling apart. Okita was dying, Saito had lost his humanity, the Shinsengumi as a whole seemed doomed to be eaten away by this terrible war. It had hurt enough to find out that her father was the one responsible for the Water of Life, and bringing Furies into the world. Was she to lose even her happy memories of her childhood with him as a loving father? What was she going to have left?
"I'm sorry, Sister," said Kaoru, his eyes twinkling with what might be tears. "Our real parents are dead, burned a decade past by the humans who destroyed our village. It was Kodo who saved us, and took you in as his daughter. He is a Yukimura, like us, but only a distant relative by blood." Kaoru sighed. "And he is performing terrible deeds in our clan's name."
"Oh no," said Chizuru. "So Amagiri was telling the truth. Father is working with the Imperial army." The fact that he was not her father by birth seemed almost secondary: he was still the man who'd raised her. But why had he lied about so much for so long?
"He is doing worse than that," said Sen, in a sad and serious tone. She put her hand on Chizuru's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Chizuru. I know this must hurt to hear. But Kodo is building his own army of Furies, one large and powerful enough to destroy both sides of the war. We think he plans to take over Japan for himself."
Her kind, gentle father...how could he do such a thing? But the years of evidence against him had become too overwhelming to ignore. "We have to stop him," said Chizuru. "As his daughter, it is my responsibility. What can I do to help?"
Kaoru smiled. "Join us! We are tracking his movements, and have begun to gather clues as to where he might be storing his army. Perhaps, with your help, we may find him. Maybe we can even persuade him to turn from this path before it is too late."
Was that really possible? She wanted so much for it to be true, for there to be some way to stop her father without killing him. She had been trying to find him for so long, she didn't want that search to end with his death.
"You should go with them, Yukimura," said Saito, who had been listening quietly. "They can protect you better than...than us. And I am sure that with their help you can defeat Kodo, and restore your clan's name."
Did that mean he wouldn't join her? The idea of being separated from Saito again for so long made her feel an intense loneliness. But would it be fair of her to ask him to come?
"Don't worry, Saito," said Kaoru. "We demons will protect her. You should return to the Shinsengumi, and your human war. Those are your orders, are they not?"
"Yes," said Saito. But his eyes when he looked at Chizuru seemed conflicted.
"Saito," said Sen. "You may be human, but you are evidently a warrior of formidable skill. We would be glad to have you with us, if your duties permit it. "
"Indeed," said Kimigiku. "Kazama Chikage is known for his strength, even amongst demons. To have managed to hold your own against him at all is an achievement of great note. And you may be able to offer us inside information on the nature of these artificial demons that will make them easier to defeat."
"Your cause is worthy," said Saito. "And such an army would no doubt attack the Shinsengumi in time, and overwhelm it. It is to all our benefit that you succeed. If Commander Hijikata orders me to assist you, I would do so gladly. But first I must report back."
So he might join them later, if Hijikata approved? That made her feel better, until she thought about Saito feeling obliged to involve himself in such a dangerous task. He had already suffered so much because of her and her father.
"Thank you," said Chizuru. "But you need not...I don't want you to be hurt again." He gave her a small sad smile, and then looked away.
"It occurs to me," he said, "That perhaps you should all come with me. The threat of a Fury army is something that would affect both the Shinsengumi and the Shogunate, and they would benefit from any intelligence you can pass on. And while demons have the advantage of strength, my understanding is that humans have the advantage of numbers. It seems likely that we could offer some assistance, if only against Kodo's human allies."
Oh. He made a good point: Surely not everyone involved in Father's plot was a demon or Fury. And if they were still gathering intelligence then the Shinsengumi's contacts could be invaluable. Perhaps there was no reason for her to part from Saito after all.
Sen looked at Kimigiku, and they communicated silently through a long look. "How far is your Commander?" asked Sen, turning back to Saito. "We do not have the luxury of much time, but you may be right that..."
Kaoru interrupted her with a loud sound of annoyance. "You are all very annoying, do you know that?" he said, his voice sounding different again: cruel, and bitter. "Especially you, Saito Hajime. You cheated me of being the one who forced you to take the Water of Life, and now you are cheating me of the heart-rending parting I spent so long setting up. But you will not cheat me of this!" And then he drew a pistol that had been tucked inside his kimono, and shot it into the air.
Saito took a step forward, his hand on his sword. The others followed suit, even Chizuru, though it hurt her heart to draw a sword on her brother so soon after discovering him. Assuming he was really her brother.
Kaoru opened his eyes wide. "Would you really hurt Chizuru's beloved brother?"
Saito's resolve didn't falter. "If it became necessary."
But before he could put his words into action, there was a rustling from the nearby trees and the dark filled with the glow of red eyes. It was a pack of Furies, armed with guns. They shambled forwards, their hair and teeth glinting white in the moonlight, and a cold chill ran down Chizuru's spine. But they did not attack, instead lining up behind Kaoru as if...as if protecting him.
"If you value your lives," said Kaoru. "You will stand down."
Swords were returned to scabbards, and for a moment there was silence, as they all stared at Kaoru and he smiled back. It was a cruel, smug smile. Seeing a face so like her own so filled with malice made Chizuru feel cold and strange.
"I don't understand," she said. "Kaoru, what are you doing? Are you working with Father after all? But then why all the pretence?"
"I wanted to see the look on your face," he said. "When the one you love lost his humanity for you. When you were left abandoned. And I want to see the look on your face when you die. At least that will not be denied me" Kaoru's eyes grew wide and his smile became more malicious. "I want to see you suffer, sister, as I have suffered. And you will." He spoke, then, of the life he had lived, of being tortured for being a boy, of worrying every day that Chizuru was suffering too, of his feelings when he discovered that her life had instead been easy and full of love, that she had forgotten him. Chizuru felt so cold and empty she thought she might freeze. How much horror had been hiding under the surface of her happy, carefree life?
And then he raised his hands as if to signal his men to fire. Chizuru reached for her sword, but before she had even drawn it from her scabbard Saito had leaped in front of her and the two demon women were on the attack.
Kimigiku's sword sliced towards Kaoru, and he had to take a step back when it struck his own. Chizuru heard a loud cry and a Fury fell, and then another. Sen flowed through the Furies like water, blood and death following in her wake.
But it was not enough. The air filled with the sound of thunder and the smell of smoke. Chizuru heard Sen cry out, and then go silent. She heard Saito grunt in pain and then saw him stumble. But he could heal from bullet wounds, right?
Except he didn't seem to be healing. Even from behind she could see blood dripping from his chest and arms. And then she saw Kimigiku be shot as well, her attacks against Kaoru becoming weaker as she tried to battle through the pain.
"I've changed my mind," said Kaoru, as he ducked Kimigiku's weakening attacks. "I want to see Saito die today. How would that make you feel, sister? Knowing that he died defending you?" And then he shot Kimigiku and she fell back, clutching her side. A wall of Furies surrounded Kaoru and he seemed untouchable.
"No! If you hate me then kill me." She tried to pull past Saito but he held her back with shaking, blood-covered hands.
"Yukimura," he said. "None of this is your fault, do not let this man make you feel any guilt. If my death will save your life then I will die with no regrets."
"You heard him," said Kaoru. And then Kaoru raised his gun and shot Saito in the chest. Saito's red eyes were clouded with pain, and when he tried to speak his words were obscured by a bubbling gush of blood. He made a quiet sound of pain, and then he fell.
He lay on the ground, unmoving, the centre of his chest a blooming flower of blood and gore.
"SAITO!" Chizuru heard herself scream and threw herself on his body, trying to wake him up. "I don't understand! You can heal! It's just a bullet!"
Kaoru smiled and pointed his gun towards her. "Do not underestimate the power of a silver bullet," he said. "They are painful for us demons, but for a fake they're deadly."
And then he shot her and everything went black.
Saito's dreams were full of pain and blood. Faces loomed over him and stuck their hands inside his chest. He tried to move but he was encased in knives and every movement left painful gashes in his skin and left him panting with an unquenchable thirst.
When he woke, at last, it was in an unfamiliar bed. There was a medicinal smell in the air, and a sense of quiet. He tried to take a breath and his chest burned like there were shards of glass in his lungs. He felt flashes of pain from other parts too, trying to move his arms made him gasp with agony. It was only with supreme effort that he was able to move his hand to his chest. He felt a thin robe, and under that bandages.
He was alive.
He couldn't say how long he lay there, unable to move but in too much pain to sleep. Eventually he heard the sound of a sliding door being opened quietly, and footsteps coming towards him.
"Hello?" he croaked, his voice disturbingly weak.
"Saito!" Dr Matsumoto beamed at him. "It is good to see you awake. You're a tenacious young man, not many would survive a gunshot wound to the chest, especially one so close to your heart."
"I...I don't understand..." He was a Fury, parts of the battle were a blur but he remembered that much. Anything that didn't kill him should have healed in seconds.
Dr Matsumoto nodded in understanding. "The young man who brought you in said you'd been shot with silver bullets. Apparently they are harmful to those who have consumed the Water of Life. I have removed those that remained, but your wounds have been slow to close. You are improving however, and if you rest I am sure you will make a full recovery." He chuckled ruefully. "Hopefully you will be better at resting than your friend."
Hajime's pain-addled brain struggled to follow so many words. "...young man?"
"He said his name was Nagumo Kaoru," said Dr Matsumoto. "I think he's a relative of Yukimura Chizuru. He had to leave, but he said to give you his regards, and to tell you he would see you again."
The only thing that kept Chizuru on her feet was a sense of duty.
Sen had offered to let her stay in the Yase village and rest, but Chizuru felt like she might fade away into nothing without some task to keep her tethered to the world. Saito was dead because of her. Saito was dead at her brother's hand, and if her father wasn't stopped he was going to kill the Shinsengumi and destroy Japan. Everything she and family touched was cursed. But if she forced herself to keep moving there was a small chance she could make things right.
For a while her wound troubled her, for the first time in her life Chizuru knew what it was like to have to heal from an injury over time and she did not enjoy it. But worse was the memory of being shot, the pain and the triumphant expression in her brother's eyes when he shot her. To discover that she had a brother, and then so quickly to learn that his life had brought him so much suffering that now all her thought of was to bring her pain...
They travelled to Edo, and searched the house she'd once shared with her father. It was overgrown with weeds, and her happy memories were all tainted with the knowledge of the man her father had turned out to be. Had he always been this way? Had he thought of his patients as fodder for his army while he pretended to care for their ills? Or had something changed him, had the very act of creating the Water of Life turned him into the sort of person who would experiment on the innocent, who would see a deadly war only as a source of blood...
There were no answers for those questions here.
There seemed to be no answers anywhere. Using her contacts, Sen had traced Father's movements to a Choshu camp outside of Edo, but the information was weeks old and he was bound to have moved on by now. But it was all they had, so Chizuru stood and waited in the shadows outside the gate and pretended she was keeping an eye out for sentries and not being kept out of the way while Sen and Kimigiku did the real work.
"Who goes there?"
Chizuru jumped and barely contained a squeak. It was an Imperial soldier, his gun glinting in the moonlight. She held herself as still as she could in the shadows, trying to decide if it was safer to stay where she was or try to sneak off.
He was getting closer. She had to decide soon. She drew her sword and tried not to panic, as her heart beat so fast she thought it would come right out of her chest. She felt so frozen with fear she wasn't sure her legs would carry her even if she told them to.
He was so close. Soon he'd be in the shadows with her, and his eyes would adjust and what little advantage she had would be gone. If she ran he'd just shoot her in the back, not once but over and over. Were those silver bullets in his gun? Would it hurt less to be shot if the bullets were lead? The idea of being shot again set off some sort of basic instinct in the darker parts of her mind, and without even thinking she shifted her stance, stutter stepping towards him and bringing up her sword and then he was down and his breath gurgled and then stopped and she was shaking the blood off her sword and...
And he was dead?
He was dead. She'd killed him. How had that happened? She hadn't decided to kill him.
She absently noted that her aim had been off: the growing pool of blood on his chest was to the side of his heart. If he'd been a Fury he'd have healed and gotten up and killed her by now.
But he wasn't. He was just an ordinary man and now he was dead. He looked like Saito had when he fell. Would someone miss him as she missed Saito? Had he been a good man, only trying to protect his people in a time of war?
And...had anyone heard him? There had been some...noise. Would she have to kill them too? Could she? Chizuru's heart pounded like a drum and her stomach burned like cold fire in her stomach. She held her sword tight and stood and waited in the dark, the man she'd killed at her feet.
She was still standing there when Sen and Kimigiku came back.
It was good to have Hajime here. It wasn't good that he'd been shot, and made a Fury, and abandoned. If Souji had the chance he would wipe the whole Yukimura clan off the map for what they'd done to him. But from a purely selfish perspective, having him here, with Souji, was good.
For a while it had just been Souji and Kondou, and that had been nice, the two of them discussing whatever book Kondou was reading or and just sitting in companionable silence. But then Kondou had healed, and thrown himself back into danger without Souji to protect him, and left Souji alone.
Had Kondou missed Souji, when he was back with Hijikatra and their men, when he was home with his wife and child? Or had it been a relief to return to those he really loved?
After that, there had been the other Shinsengumi, battle worn and dispirited and only passing through on their way to more battles, and likely more defeat. They'd all thought Hajime was dead, and Chizuru with him, and Souji had wanted to throw their grief in their faces because if they cared so much then why had they let it happen? Were they even happy now that Hajime had turned out to be alive, or were they too busy caring about Gen and Yamazaki and poor little lost Chizuru?
But he'd still missed them once they were gone.
Dr Matsumoto didn't count as company. Souji didn't like him, and the feeling appeared to be mutual. The good doctor was too professional to give Souji anything but the best care he could offer, but he had no interest in in him as a person, and no need of him as a sword. Souji's care was just a task for him to fulfil. And Souji had spent enough of his life feeling like an unwanted burden.
But Hajime was here now, and he needed Souji's help. Not the sort of help Souji was used to offering: he was too sick for battle, and anyway there were no enemies here to fight. But Hajime was even sicker, at least for the moment, and struggling as Souji had struggled with the reality of being an invalid, unable to stand by those he had sworn himself to protect. When you felt like that, any distraction from your thoughts was a gift, and if Souji was good at anything other than killing it was at being distracting.
Hajime was still mostly stuck in bed, though he could at least sit up now. So Souji sat next to him and shared the most salacious wood-prints he'd been able to gather, implausible tales of honourable thieves and scheming snake charmers and evil sorcerers. They kept up with the more accurate news, as well, but that was usually less entertaining and more depressing. The war was not going very well.
"Have you heard any news of Yukimura," asked Hajime, as he did every day. It was getting annoying.
"Fuck Chizuru," said Souji. "She left you for dead." Souji had genuinely liked Chizuru, as much as he liked anyone, but it turned out he liked Hajime more. He'd thought Chizuru cared about Hajime too, but apparently not. Not enough. Yet it was Chizuru that Hajime was concerned about, and Chizuru he would return to once he was healed.
"Would you had rather she had stayed and been killed herself?" said Hajime, his voice hoarse. "And I don't know if she left voluntarily, or if she was captured, or...or killed. That is why I wish for news."
"Well I don't have any," said Souji, irritably. Neither of them were well suited to spending all day indoors with nothing to do, and while being together was better than being alone, they still sometimes got on each others nerves. It was night, so Souji couldn't even go outside without everyone scolding him for exposing himself to the cold. "What I have is..." He started to cough, and couldn't continue. Ugh, how annoying. He covered his mouth, it seemed unlikely that Furies could catch tuberculosis but stranger things had happened.
When he took his hand away from his mouth it was spattered with blood. He grimaced and wiped it on his sleeve.
Hajime's eyes went wide. "Do you want me to call Dr Matsumoto?"
People made such a big deal about coughing up blood, as if it was the most significant part of having tuberculosis. But it wasn't usually that bad: a few drops here and there, nothing to worry about. The real problem was the coughing itself. The coughing, the pain, the nausea, and the paralysing, ever worsening weakness. That was what made everything a misery.
So he waved off Saito's concern. What was a little more blood to men like them?
Except it wasn't a little more blood. Souji kept coughing and the blood kept coming, first thick drops and then a stream, so much it felt like his lungs were full of water, so much he could barely breathe. He doubled over and then fell to the floor, too weak to even cough any more, and felt warm liquid dribble down his chin, felt his kosode become damp. Something within him was broken.
He spasmed and struggled for breath, feeling like he was going to die, watching his blood soak into the straw of the tatami. At last it stopped. He coughed up the last of it and tried to catch his breath. He looked up: had Hajime left to get the doctor after all? That might actually be a good idea.
But Hajime hadn't left. He'd changed. He stared at Souji with hungry red eyes, his fierce expression framed by starkly pale wisps of white hair.
Oh. Souji had known this was a danger, but actually seeing Hajime as a Fury... Hajime was always a little terrifying, but now there was death in his eyes, and that death was meant for Souji. He shivered. There was no way he could fight him off like this.
"Hungry, Hajime?" he said, weakly, as he tried to shuffle backwards. His sword was on the dresser: was Hajime's mind too clouded for him to notice Souji reach for it? Would a sword even help?
Hajime didn't move forward to follow Souji's cautious retreat. Instead he whimpered, and closed his eyes. His hands reached up to grab at his own chest, tendons so tight it looks like he was trying to push his fingers through into his heart. For him to show pain like that, it must be unbearable.
In some ways, this was worse.
But there was something that could be done about it, right? There had to be. Souji tried to shout out for help. "Doctor Matsumoto!" But his voice was too weak, and the attempt just caused him to start coughing again.
Hajime curled into a ball, and began to groan. It made Souji feel twisted up and distressed. When had Hajime become so precious to him? ...it didn't matter. What mattered was that he was, and he was in pain.
"Hurts, huh?" said Souji, softly.
"It will pass," said Hajime, his voice hoarse and weak.
"Can I help?"
Hajime shook his head. But every now and then his eyes would open, and he would stare at Souji for a moment, his eyes following the movement of Souji's hands.
Ah. His hands that were covered with blood.
Souji gave a small laugh. "We make a fine pair don't we. In case it's bothering you, I don't care that you want to drink my blood. Hell, you can have it, it's not doing me any good out here."
"Souji," said Hajime. "I can't. That would be..."
"What, disgusting? We're already disgusting. Look at us." And why not? He held his hand out. "I know you're not going to hurt me." If the tables were turned, Souji had no doubt that he'd have killed Hajime, would have given into the bloodlust the moment he was turned, and killed anyone in his path. But the Water of Life was no match for Hajime's self control.
And then Hajime took his hand and kissed it.
Ok, it wasn't actually a kiss. It was...Souji's mind supplied words like suck and lick that made the whole thing weirder than it already was. But Hajime's mouth and lips were on Souji's hands and suddenly Souji understood why disgusting things like kissing were so popular. His skin tingled, and he felt his breath speed up. He felt an uncharacteristic moment of embarrassment at his own weirdness. Twenty five years of almost no interest in sex, and then this was what did it for him? At least Hajime was too distracted to notice, focussed entirely on capturing every drop of blood to feed his overwhelming hunger.
Somehow Hajime made it dignified. He was gentle and controlled, even in this, even though his mind must be screaming.
Eventually Souji's hands were clean, and it was apparently not enough. Hajime was very close now, kneeling with his mouth a hands-breadth from Souji's chest. Souji could feel his breath, hot and tense.
"It's ok," said Souji.
"I'm sorry," said Hajime, and put his hand on Souji's shoulder before leaning down to put his mouth to Souji's neck.
"I don't know why you're apologising," said Souji, very aware of the restrained strength in Hajime's hands, the careful gentleness of his mouth. "You're helping me get clea-" His voice cut off in a gasp as Hajime chased the last few drops. Was this why he'd never felt much attraction to women? He was into men? But other men had expressed interest in the past and the idea had never had much appeal. Maybe it was just Hajime. Maybe it was just Hajime as a Fury. That would be a special level of fucked up, even for Souji.
"Did I hurt you?" Hajime looked at him with concern, though his red eyes still burned with hunger and Souji's blood had stained his lips. Souji wanted to kiss him, and almost convinced himself he'd be doing Hajime a favour if he did. But Hajime was a romantic, deep down, and Souji couldn't bring himself to give Hajime a kiss so unclean.
Instead he patted Hajime on the head. "I'm fine." He laughed. "It's like being licked by a kitten. I thought Furies were supposed to be fierce."
Hajime didn't reply. He didn't look fierce. He looked beaten. Ah, he was out of blood, and the pain hadn't passed.
"Do you want me to get you some fresher blood?" said Souji. "I can probably spare a little. Or we could kill that annoying guy next door who keeps waking us up with his singing. We'd be performing a public service."
"Souji," said Hajime, and then he closed his eyes and turned away.
Souji hadn't been kidding about offering his own blood, but there was no way Hajime would take it. Not when it really would do Souji some serious harm to lose any more. So he put his hand on Hajime's shoulder. "You said this will pass, right?"
Hajime nodded.
"Then I'll stay with you until it does."
"Thank you." He weakly allowed himself to be pulled into Souji's arms. He shuddered and softly moaned against Souji's shoulder as the pain passed through him. Souji felt a fierce wave of hatred towards Kodo, towards Kaoru, towards everyone who'd made Hajime feel this way. It was obscene, to see a man like Hajime brought so low. And Souji knew from personal experience how much the human body craved physical comfort when it was in pain, no matter how much the mind might rebel at showing weakness. If he couldn't offer Hajime enough blood, he could at least offer him the comfort of touch.
Or maybe this was the only way Souji would let himself have that comfort himself.
The small part of Chizuru that had doubted that her father could really be building a Fury army was now silenced. She had seen many battle grounds in her years with the Shinsengumi, and they were always bloody, but none had looked like this.
The ground was scattered with body parts: limbs, organs, parts so mangled there was no saying what they had once been. The bodies of the fallen had been not only dismembered, but devoured. No sword left marks so ragged and savage.
Chizuru felt Kimigiku put a hand on her shoulder. "I am sure they died quickly," said Kimigiku. "Whatever happened to their bodies afterwards, their souls did not suffer, and they are beyond such troubles now."
"Thank you," said Chizuru. "I am glad that you and Sen are here with me. I do not think I could face this task alone."
"We would not wish you to," said Kimigiku, and Chizuru smiled, feeling a brief moment of peace.
But then that peace was shattered by a loud male voice. "Hey- Yukimura! Other demon girl!"
Chizuru looked up. She knew that voice, and it filled her with dread.
There on the hill stood the demon Shiranui, smiling and waving like they were friends.
Chizuru's heart clenched: she'd thought that this one danger, at least, was done with. Where was Kazama? Had he sent Shiranui alone to avoid the consequences of abducting her himself? Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kimigiku stepping up close next to her and could hear Sen approaching at a run.
And then Shiranui laughed. "Whoa, demon girl, no need to glare at me like that!" he said. "I'm here to help!"
"...help?" said Chizuru. Was this some sort of trick? He'd always been very straightforward about his goals before.
"Yeah! I'm done with Kazama. And I heard you were fighting fakes, so I thought I'd help out!"
"Can we trust him?" asked Sen, as she reached Chizuru's side. There was a hard undertone to her voice, and Chizuru had no doubt that Sen and Kimigiku would attack without hesitation the moment Chizuru gave the word.
But should she? Every other time she'd met this man, he'd tried to kidnap her for Kazama. But there had been indications that he wasn't happy about being sent on such a task, and though the small signs of concern he'd shown for her welfare had been minor, they had still stood out in comparison to Kazama's callous cruelty.
"I think so," said Chizuru. "For now, at least."
Shiranui dominated the conversation, explaining what he'd learned about her father and his Furies from Shiranui's connections with the Choshu. Shiranu seemed genuinely concerned about the welfare of his human allies, and it was strange to hear the Shinsengumi's enemies spoke of in sympathetic and protective tones, even with Shiranui stopping every and then to remind everyone that he thought humans were weak and useless in general.
And Shiranui was a powerful warrior. Knowing he would stand by Sen and Kimigiku's side made Chizuru feel better about her friends facing the threat her father had created.
When Chizuru explained what they knew of Kaoru, Shiranui made a face. "Ugh. What an asshole. I mean, it sucks being made to act like girl, but shouldn't he be getting revenge on the Nagumo then? It's not your fault. I resent other men for having an easier time sometimes but I don't torture them over it. And I definitely don't torture women."
Chizuru took a moment to try to understand what he was saying, and was horrified when the implications set in. "Oh no," she said. "Did you have a similar experience to Kaoru? That's terrible!" Did demons do this sort of thing a lot? Was it because they had so few women that they felt justified in forcing male demons to act like them?
"Ehhh," said Shiranui. "It wasn't a big deal, and it's not like I was tortured like Nagumo was or anything. But demon parents don't like it when they think they've gotten themselves a nice valuable little girl and he insists he's a boy instead." He laughed and patted his stomach. "They eventually shut up once I convinced them I'd stab myself in the belly if I ever got pregnant with some shitty husband's brats."
Chizuru stared at him in confusion. Demon men could get pregnant? Then why was someone like her so valuable?
Shiranui rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I forget you were raised among humans. Don't worry about it. Point is, Nagumo's an asshole, and I'm guessing his offer to help find Kodo was a trap. So I don't know how much we can trust his information."
Kimigiku nodded. "It is outdated information, regardless. I think our best approach is to find likely upcoming battlefields where Kodo can effectively and safely feed his army."
There was much agreement, and everyone compared notes on possible sites. Well, everyone but Chizuru, who found the detailed predictions of the likely shape of the war confusing, and felt she had little to offer. Under other circumstances she would have made everyone tea, but the grisly battle field offered no such opportunities, and she doubted anyone would have much stomach for it.
Eventually, it was time for Shiranui to leave, though he promised to keep in touch.
"So, you gonna bring in your Shinsengumi buddies?" he asked.
Chizuru shook her head. "They have other responsibilities, and fighting Furies is no job for a human."
"Makes sense," he said. "Amagiri kept going on about that Saito guy but he didn't seem very special to me." Chizuru was briefly pleased to hear Saito praised, even if indirectly, then her heart fell.
"Saito is..." She had to hold back tears. "He was shot. Kaoru killed him." Her voice cracked.
Shiranui blinked in surprise. "Oh, sorry. I heard he got better."
Wait...what? "Shiranui," she said. "When exactly did you hear reports that Saito was alive?" She stepped closer, and looked up seriously into Shiranui's surprised violet eyes. "And where is he?"