Speculo Gaudium
Ketti: This one was actually inspired by a webcomic page I read, but JuJu helped me put my own spin on it, She hasn't seen all of this one yet for once! Gasp.
Also, all your reviews, guys? -heart- They make me write more! Though the one I have open isn't one I plan to post until I finish it... Since, you know, I'm horrible about never updating.
2- We Carry Guns For Funs
It was a calm night, the moon lay low on the horizon, refusing to rise very high, as if the fullness of her pale glory made it too heavy to complete her nightly journey. The vast green lawn of the Hellsing estate was silent, the troops all gathered inside, preferring their breaks from routine spent near the telly, rather than out in the fresh air to look up at the stars. A pair of booted feet tapped lazily against the wall as the legs attached to them swung idly, gloved palms planted on the smooth concrete of the roof to hold up the reclining body, blonde hair gleaming like spun gold, and sky blue irises reflecting the diamond pinpricks as she traced the constellations with her eyes.
It was a lazy night, meant for contemplations and relaxation. Tipping her head back further still, she stole an upside down glance at the crimson figure seated towards the center of the roof, orange sunglasses hiding his eyes and making it nearly impossible to tell what he was looking at. "Master," she chirped, "I've been wondering."
There was silence for a moment as she waited for acknowledgement of her ponderings, but his face remained blank, and her neck was beginning to crick from the angle she held it at, so she continued anyways, "Why do you carry a gun? I mean, you can rip apart an enemy with a flick of your wrist practically!" She couldn't help the slight bounce of her body as she exclaimed over his strength, her balance wobbled a little and she turned to face him, sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce like an eager student.
"Police Girl," he drawled, breaking his silence, "Why must you ask so many questions? You sound like a small child." She blushed, feeling his eyes on her though he hadn't moved an inch. "How many times must I repeat myself? I have my own reasons for doing things. I don't have to explain them to anyone, least of all you."
"I," she faltered, looking down at her feet and tracing her finger around the grommet of her topmost lace, "I was just curious is all, Master." Her good mood was quickly deflating and she stood suddenly, not looking at him as she walked along the roof, heading towards the lower level that she used as a sort of oversized stair. She was tired of the silent stars, she decided, and thought she'd rather like to spend the remaining hours of the night inside watching the telly with the men.
A red bar moved across her vision and she balked just before ramming her nose into it, arms flailing as she stumbled back from what she realized was Alucard's sleeve. "Are you sulking?" He asked incredulously, though she couldn't tell much of his expression as she teetered on the edge of falling off the roof the long way. Catching herself, she pursed her lips and lifted her nose in the air. "Well, if I'm a small child, I may as well act the part."
Shadows swept out from the edge of his coat and ensnared her legs, flipping her upside-down to dangle from the edge of the manor, her night vision emphasizing the height she would fall if he dropped her. Squeaking, she glared at him from under the swell of her breasts, "Kinda proving my point there, Master. If you can do stuff like this," and she wiggled, trying to free herself, but only succeeded in flipping her short skirt up to flash the smirking male her regulation cotton panties, "why do you need a gun?"
He seemed to consider her words, or he was just ogling her for the fun of it, and apparently came to some sort of decision because he took a step towards her, then another. Finally, he stood on the ledge she'd been perched on, the shadow rope hoisting her higher to be at eye level with the maniac that Sired her.
He reached into his red coat and pulled the Cassul from its holster, grinning dementedly as he raised the oversized pistol and pointed it right at her face.
"Wh-what are you doing?" Seras questioned, disliking the situation more and more until she started struggling harder, the movement turning into a lopsided swinging. The Cassul followed her, staying right in her face and seeming to grow larger the longer she stared at it. She swore his finger moved towards the trigger, and she shrieked in alarm.
"Bang, Police Girl, you're dead." Alucard purred reaching out to grab a fistful of blonde locks and bending her like a bow so that their faces were almost touching, albeit in opposite directions. "Pointing a gun at your opponent holds a special place in my black little heart. There's nothing quite like it, swords and spears are one thing, but nothing quite gets a rise out of your opponent like long range artillery. Also?' His cheek brushed hers as his lips pressed to her ear, as if imparting some deep secret, "It's fun."
Seras' face scrunched in disgruntlement but she conceded after a moment that the thrill she got from firing her Harkonnen was almost as good as the looks on their target's faces when she appeared on scene with it slung over her shoulder like a badass. "You're right, Master.' She murmured, hoping he'd put her back down on the roof for agreeing with him.
"Do you know what else is fun?" He purred, and she had a sinking feeling in her gut as she shook her head to the negative. "This!" He cackled, dropping her, and she plummeted towards the damp grass with a shriek, anticipating a broken wrist at the very least, only for a black pool of pure shadowstuff to open up beneath her at the last second and she landed in an ungainly heap across Pip's lap at rather high velocity. "Oomph!"
Well, she got her wish, she grumbled as she flopped onto the floor and pushed her skirt back into place as her head swum dizzily. The Geese's laughter didn't help her growing headache, but she casually flipped them the bird as she settled against Pip's legs to watch the novella they were currently engrossed in, though she only understood one out of a hundred or so words.
Idly, she curled her fingers into the pantomime of a gun and pointed it at the telly as the screen went black, "Bang."
Guns for fun indeed.