Hey, guys, here is the second chapter! Sorry it took so long to make, I've been quite busy with exams at school lately so I had to put this aside. But now I can continue working on it!
Thank you for your patience and have a nice read! Enjoy!
The life of a goblin ain't easy, folks.
There comes a time when you start to question your very own existence and the various accomplishments you've achieved in your life. How much of an impact you've made to the people around, how different the world is thanks to your actions or if it was worth it at the end. Those thoughts are something that manages to separate us from being just mere animals with a higher intellect. They make us perceive things more abstractly. They make us wonder, if this is all life has to offer. They motivate us to progress further as a society. Most importantly, above all else, to understand the unknown.
Goblins don't think about any of that shit.
For starters, goblins are retarded. They can't look after themselves. They don't grow their own food, neither look after animals. They can't even fucking hunt properly. That's why the green fuck usually resort to pillaging human villages and steal everything that the villagers had at their disposal. Food, livestock, weapons, you name it. Hell, they even kidnap women to use as sex and breeding slaves, which we will get to in a minute.
Goblin society is primitive. Fancy shit like a government, nation and culture is unknown to them. They form tribes that consists of 20-50 goblins each that live in caves. Yes, caves. What, you thought that at the very least they have the capability to build a hut or some other form of basic architecture? If you did, you're dead wrong. Goblins are too stupid even for that sort of thing. Let that sink in.
Goblins have their very own language that is quite unique. It is very distinguishable and one of the many things seperates them from the humans apart from the appearance. Surprisingly, it ain't that hard to learn either. All you have to do to learn how to talk like a goblin is the following: find the nearest tissue. After you finding it, masturbate furiously for the next two or three hours. When you are done, try to say the first thing on your mind. The result would be a heavy grunt or something similar. Congratulations, you've just learned to speak a foreign language of a non-human species! It is recommended that you are virgin to fully feel the experience, as gobbos are too ugly to have normal sex like anyone else in the THIS entire world.
Speaking of sex, the turdlings are an all male species, which means no female. And when there are no females, there is no pussy and with no pussy there is no life. Glad to know that some things never change even, if you are reborn in fantasy-like world. How do our little green friends solve this problematic situation? Why, by raping, of course! As I've mentioned earlier, when there is a raid of human village, the goblins may kidnaped human females from time to time, which they bring to their shitty caves. From there on the ladies are constantly raped, tortured and beaten mercilessly by their very welcoming captors. Although they've acquired the position of a cum dumpster for the green shits, they are also used as breeding slaves. Since there are no female goblins, thank god, the human women give birth to these hellspawns. The little goblins, just like their goblin fathers, are unbelievably ugly. They inherent absolutely nothing from their mothers and instead look like mini versions of their fathers. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. Isn't there someone who can slay those abominations? He would make me a huge favour.
Because of their rather infamous reputation, goblins are universally hated by everyone. Humans hate them, elves hate them, everyone fucking hates them. If there are any demons in this fantasy world, which I'm pretty sure there are, they too, wouldn't want to deal with those worthless cunts. I bet they would make awful henchmen. As a result groups of "adventurers" form a party and go goblin exterminating, because why the fuck not? Sound easy, right? Well, not really. Although generally braindead, the goblins can have their moments as well. They are pretty decent when it comes to ambushing their enemies and the caves with narrow space give them advantage in combat. Not to mention that some of those "adventurers" weren't the brightest of their kind (hehe). Seriously, who the fuck carries a long ass sword in a fucking cave?! With teenage girls and young women, too?! It's almost as if they WANT to be killed by the goblins! What the fuck were they thinking?! God, what a bunch of morons, I'm glad I don't have to see their stupid faces. Well, of the men's faces, to be more precise.
To put it short, I was part of a subhuman race with useless subhuman brethren, subhuman way of life and subhuman nature in general.
You might be asking yourselves, how do I know so much about goblins, when I hate the fact that I was reborn as one? Why do I talk as if it's a no big deal? Why aren't I panicking over the fact that I was reborn as a literal animal with no regard to other besides himself? Why aren't I trying to escape this shithole cave or try to think of way to transform back as a human? Why do talk so casually? Do I miss my old human world? Do I feel regret over my past life and all the suffering I've caused on people?
Have I changed?
No, not really.
I mean, yeah it's kinda shitty that I got to live again, but as a little green man with a tiny willy, but hey I'm still alive. It's way better than to be surrounded by darkness and not being able to move even a tiny inch of your body. Not to mention that if I go weeping and crying like a little bitch how this could have happened and how sorry I was, I might end up as the next victim of the goblin extermination program and I have every intention to live as long as possible, so dying is not an option. Besides, adapting was always sort of my kind of thing, so it shouldn't be that big of a problem.
One thing you should keep in mind when thrown in a new environment is to always keep a low profile. Don't stand out from the crowd and make sure that you aren't attracting the biggest and meanest sons of bitches, who run the local business. When you've learned enough of your new whereabouts and how the people, or rather, goblins, work then make sure that you are never in a opposition. Never. This philosophy of mine has saved my ass so many times that I'm 100% sure it will work no matter what. Especially now when I'm a weak ass goblin.
So, here's a quick summary of how I managed to somehow survive as a goblin, the weakest and most hated creature all across the land. When I realized that again, this was very real, I was shocked. I couldn't believe it, then denied, then got a little depressed and finally thought to myself that I gotta make this somehow work. I mean, if fate was granting a second chance, why toss it over? Making the best of it in the worst possible situations was also my kind of specialty. All of this while I was crying and making the elder gobloids irritated with my whining. Suck it, you old farts!
Anyway, back on topic. I spent the first few days of my new life as a baby goblin. That is probably the worst period of it, because not only were you weak and defenseless, but you also had to compete with the other babies for food and attention. Not counting myself, there were probably five other goblin babies, each one of them loud and obnoxious as hell. You could guess that my first encounter with my "brothers" wasn't friendly.
As a baby, you need a lot of nutrients in order to grow stronger. But where do you get said nutrients in a dark cave with creatures, incapable of growing their own food? Don't worry, this is where the human females, who I know will refer to as the mothers, come in. As their name suggests, they fulfill the role of caretakers by having their titties sucked on by the ugly, little gobbos's mouths thus providing them with their much needed nutrients. Who got the suck them was another question, though.
The mothers were six in total and who knows which one of them cum dumpsters was the one, who was unfortunate enough to give birth to me. If I had known, I would get my hands on the nearest rock and bash her skull with it. Stupid, fucking bitch! You are damn lucky I don't know how you look. Each day they had their breast sucked, played, scratched and bitten by the baby goblins. They were screaming in agony at first, but as time passed they became completely lifeless. Their minds were broken and stopped reacting to anything that was happening around them. Meanwhile, my siblings were having the best time of their life, laughing and giggling like idiots. I hope they die soon enough.
That was how life was for a while, really. Me and the rest of us, alongside the others were hidden away in a different part of the cave as only the eldest goblin occasionally dropped by to see how we were doing. Father of the year, everyone. I spent most of my time sucking boobies, fighting with the others or just lay on the ground and do nothing. It was pretty boring, but at the very least I was safe and the older goblins were keeping me safe from unknown dangers. I guess they have their uses.
Oddly enough, whenever the elder goblin came to check how we were doing, he always made sure to see how I was doing for some unexplainable and perhaps sinister reason. He was always grinning, too. Fucking gross.
This continued for some time until one day the grandpa goblin, as I liked to call him, came in, accompanied by two larger goblins, each standing by his side. Those two were probably two heads taller than him and were very muscular, their sharp teeth sprouting from their mouths and glowing yellow eyes. I was surprised when I first saw them. Grandpa was also carrying something in his left hand that resembled a wooden club. He called out to us and naturally all the little goblins, which were at the time the size of toddlers, including myself, came to his side.
He then throwed the club on the ground and looked at us. It appeared that he was examining every little goblin individually, thinking of something during the process. He stared and stared until his gaze met mine. He smiled, reveling once again his crooked teeth and pointed at me.
I was stunned. Why did he point at me specifically? Did he plan to do something with me? Before I could think of anything else, the two larger goblins went in the direction where the mother were and picked up one of them. They then throwed the woman on the ground near the wooden club and moved towards the entrance. Gramps pointed towards me once again and then at the wooden club. I stood motionless for a second, before I picked up the club. The club was a little heavy, but I still managed to lift it from the ground. It was so fast that I didn't know what happened at first. Gramps with a look of satisfaction on his face then pointed towards me, again, which was getting really annoying, club in both arms. He stood still in one place for a brief second. Suddenly he moved his finger and pointed at the lying woman next to me.
It didn't take long to figure out what he wanted me to do.
At that very moment I was hesitant. I wondered, what should I now? I had a weapon with me and could try to assault the old goblin and all the baby goblins. I could use it to cause havoc and confusion and make my escape. But then there were the goblins at the entrance, who could easily overpower me and easily beat me to death. A thousand different scenarios appeared in my mind, with different outcomes and consequences. However, one stood out from the rest. The one scenario, where my chances of survival were the highest. The one, where I get to live the next day and hopefully the day after tomorrow. A scenario, where I wasn't in the opposition.
I walked closer to the woman. I walked around her and then pushed her body with my right foot, while holding a tight grip on the wooden club. She laid on her back, exposing the many scars and bruises she had on the front part of her body. She flinched and her bright green eyes met mine. Her gaze was fixated on me.
I smiled at her. You, dear little breeding cow, were in luck that day. You were going to be released from your duties and I was the one, who was going to make sure you go out with a bang. Or rather with a scream. Normally, I would avoid getting my hands dirty, but it was a special occasion.
Her face widened and a look of horror could be seen. By the time she had the intention to scream, I hit her with all my strength and bashed her face with the club multiple times.
That was the end of the second chapter! The third one will come next Sunday! Stay tuned!
Answering reviews by my dear followers:
ZILLAFAN: He won't stay as a baby forever ;)
Guest: Our protagonist had some experience in his past life with this sort of thing, so who knows, it might happen
newjack187: The Gods haven't encountered anyone like him. I would even say that when it comes to moral he isn't that much different than a goblin.