Chapter 2: You're a Doctor

I am not entirely sure about this chapter.

I appreciate your comments, feedback, and violent reaction

I want Holly to be reminded of what is really important.

Holly's POV

It's Saturday evening and you are at the morgue. You're supposed to be at the comfort of your queen size bed. Reading one of the medical books you have recently purchased. Sounds boring but you prefer that over another blind date from one of your friends or colleagues and besides you have been working almost nonstop for the past few weeks. Okay, for the past two years. This is your dream the reason why you left everything behind and move to San Francisco. You miss your family, you get to talk to them as much as you can but still. You miss home.

You're a Doctor. A Scientist and a damn good one. Over the years you've grown accustomed to loneliness. Maybe because you are wired to assess everything based on facts and logic not feelings. Every ones and awhile you forget facts and throw away any logic. It was two years ago, when you met a certain blonde.

"Don't go there Holly." You tell yourself out loud.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me at short notice."

Startled, you quickly look at the owner of the voice. Immediately you notice the sadness behind his piercing blue eyes. It reminds of someone you've been trying to forget.

"Sorry if I startled you. I know you don't have to be here. This is the only time I can see her and to say good bye for the last time." Every word is full of sadness and you noticed a hint of regret. You know he is not the husband of the woman you processed few days ago because you saw him. This guy looks more like a grieving husband.

You dare not asked your boss when he called you for this favor a few hours ago. All you know is, this is off the record.

"It's okay. I have nowhere to go and nothing to do." You bite your tongue to prevent yourself from saying any more nonsense.

He nod and walk towards the woman whom you carefully lay for him to see when you arrived. It was ruled out as suicide.

"Have you ever been in love Doctor?" He asked without looking at you.

"I… uhm.." You searched for words.

"We met when we we're both young. She is an amazing woman who wants to live life." His eyes brighten remembering the past. "I was a funny looking kid with big dreams. We we're an odd couple. She made us tick. But I wanted more." Hi is trying not to cry but failed.

"It's always you Laurel, always and forever." Hi is almost on his knees, crying. You see him whisper to her ear and kissed her forehead. "I never felt lonely before because I knew I will eventually see you. What am I going to do now Laurel?"

You realized he already left more than a few minutes ago when you decided to go home and have a drink or ten.

The morning after, you walk-up with a headache and you just want to hide from the world. Remembering what happened last night you start seeing flashes of memory of a certain blonde cop. Her smile, her laugh, and the way she looks at you. Her soft skin. The taste of her lips. You begin to feel dizzy, your heart is beating fast and you can't breathe.

"I made a mistake!" you screamed out loud. You cried your heart out. You did not cry when you said goodbye to Gail. When you decided to end your "sort of" relationship. When you said NO, to long distance relationship because statically speaking it doesn't work. It is simply prolonging the inevitable break-up.

Your tears are long overdue.

You have been crying on and off for a few hours now when you decided to call Lisa. The most logical ass you know.

Luckily she answered on the third ring. "Welcome back to the land of the living!" She must have sensed there is something wrong as the tone of your friend's voice changed to worry, "Holly? What happened Hols?"

You breathe in to your nose and let out a sigh. You told her happened to the morgue. You made a mistake leaving Toronto. And that you need her to tell you that you did the right thing in accepting the job that you have been dreaming of. You deserve this because you worked hard for it. That what you feel will soon pass. But you didn't talk about Gail. You DON'T know HOW to talk about Gail.

"Holly, you told me almost everything except for the real reason why you want to come home. Now man-up or stay there and let's try this again after a few months." You can count on your friend to call your bull. "Do you love her?"

"Y-yes…" You could kick yourself for sounding uncertain.

Unconvinced, Lisa asked, "Let's try that again Holly. Do. You. Love. Her?" Emphasize on every word.

"Yes! I love her Lisa. I am in love with Gail. I miss her so much, sometimes It feels like my heart is breaking, If that is even possible." Tears once again started to fall.

"I am not really good in giving relationship advice. I am not even qualified! One thing I do know is, we only have this lifetime to live. It is best to live it without regrets Holly."

"Tell me what to do Lisa. I don't know what to do." You sound small and weak.

"Hols, you've made your choice before you even dial this number. And I didn't peg you for being a coward."

"Lisa!" You tried to sound annoyed.

"You're welcome!" You heard your friend laugh at the other end of the line. "Holly, if you tell this to anyone I will deny I will deny that this conversation ever happened. I have a reputation to uphold. Have to go, I have boobs waiting for me."

Before you had a chance to comment, you heard the line drop.

You're a Doctor who always goes by facts and logic.

You love Gail, you know now that is a fact. Therefore it is only logical to want to be with her, to be near her and hopefully call her yours once again.