Sans sighed, leaning against Papyrus and looking out over the room. Everyone had decided to congregate in the living room that day and it was kind of peaceful. Since the day of his and his friends' arrival about a month ago, many more had come to the Zyzzyva House. Besides Flowey and Chara, the house now held Asgore, Mettaton, Napstablook, Shyren, Grillby, the Monster Kid from Snowdin, and Muffet with her spider clans. It was quite the crowd, but Sans still had to wonder why some of them came here.
Lucida hadn't done much since those first couple days either besides manage the house and try to make friends with her boarders. It was a bit relieving. Maybe Sans didn't have much to worry about after all.
Sans stared at everyone in the room, taking in the peaceful scene. Papyrus was playing a video game on a human game system known as a "3DS". Alphys, Undyne, and Asgore were watching anime on Alphys' phone, Asgore occasionally grimacing at about the same time Undyne would start to laugh. Mettaton, Napstablook, and Shyren were discussing something for their television program while Mettaton was plugged into the wall to charge. Frisk, Toriel, the Monster Kid, and Flowey were playing Trivial Pursuit, which Toriel praised as being "highly educational". Muffet was louging sideways in an armchair reading a book entitled "1001 Ways to Make Easy Money", her slender legs swinging in time to the noises from Alphys' anime. As for Chara, they were meditating on the other side of the room with Grillby.
"Hey, Papyrus!"
Both Sans and Papyrus jumped, Papyrus almost dropping the 3DS in his hands. Lucida had snuck up behind them and had yelled hello from just over Papyrus' shoulder, startling both of the skeletons. Papyrus scrambled to get back into the rhythm of his game again, concentrating intensely on the screen in front of him.
"What'cha playing?" Lucida asked, straining to look at the game.
"YOU'RE GOING DOWN, YOU OVERGROWN LIZARD!" Papyrus suddenly screamed.
"Huh?" Alphys piped up from across the room.
"SORRY," Papyrus apologized, "I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU, ALPHYS. I'M FIGHTING BOWSER!"
"Again?" Lucida asked confusedly.
"yep," Sans answered in Papyrus' stead, "he's going for a perfect game this time."
"He's been playing New Super Mario Bros. for weeks!" Lucida exclaimed.
"I'M JUST ABOUT TO BEAT IT!" Papyrus chimed in with a grin.
"For the fifth time!" Lucida retorted, throwing her hands in the air. Sans chuckled. Papyrus had been playing the game for a long time now and was currently trying to beat the game without losing a single life. He'd made a commendable effort for sure, but Bowser was the one thing keeping him from achieving that goal.
"DARN IT!" Papyrus shouted, "I DIED AGAIN! CURSE YOU, BOWSER!
"You see?" Chara butted in from across the room, "This is why I'm the one that always wins."
"oh?" Sans replied, his left eye burning bright blue, "i'll bet you couldn't get through the game without losing a life."
"I already have," Chara responded, "On my first try, even."
"NO WAY!" Papyrus exclaimed in amazement, "WOWEE!"
Chara winked in reply, a wide grin on their face. Sans felt his entire body tense up. He knew he shouldn't be worried about Chara right now, but they still managed to rub him the wrong way.
"Chara," Grillby said, staring straight at Chara. Chara huffed and closed their eyes, going back to meditating with Grillby.
"What are you two doing?" Lucida asked them.
"Anger-management class," Chara answered bitterly.
"You teach an anger management class?" Lucida exclaimed, completely bewildered.
"No," Grillby said, "I do."
"Oh," Lucida replied sheepishly, "That makes a lot more sense."
Sans turned his attention to the board game that Frisk, Toriel, the Monster Kid, and Flowey were playing. He saw Toriel draw a card before reading it off to Flowey.
"What is the deadliest freshwater fish in the world?" Toriel read, her face scrunching up in disgust.
"That's easy!" Undyne butted in, "It's me, of course!"
"No way," Chara piped up, "I could beat you easily."
"You're not a fish!" Undyne shouted angrily.
"Both of you are wrong!" Flowey interrupted, seeming ticked off.
"The answer on the card says 'piranha'," Toriel said, holding out the card to Undyne. Undyne snatched the card from Toriel's hand and read it over, her eyebrows furrowing in displeasure.
"They don't know what they're talking about," Undyne scoffed, tossing the card back over her shoulder, "I could beat a piranha in a fight any day."
"I could beat the piranha and you," Chara said, their eyes glowing red. Sans tensed up again.
"Keep dreaming, freak," Undyne growled.
"DARN IT!" Papyrus shouted, shaking his 3DS in the air in rage, "I JUST CAN'T DO IT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!"
"Want me to answer that?" Chara asked eagerly. Grillby then cleared his throat loudly and deliberately, snapping Chara back into focus, reluctant as they were to do so.
Sans stared back at the Trivial Pursuit game just in time to notice Monster Kid place one of the tiny plastic wedges into their game piece.
"Jenga!" Monster Kid shouted triumphantly, "I win!"
"That's not how you play Jenga," Lucida said, leaping over both the couch and Sans to land next to Monster Kid, "You gotta stack 'em first!"
Sans watched in bewilderment as Lucida began skillfully stacking the tiny wedges until the tower was about half her height.
"Then you take one out," Lucida continued. She then bent down and pulled the bottom wedge out of the stack, causing the entire tower to topple over in a shower of Trivial Pursuit wedges.
"Jenga!" both Lucida and Monster Kid yelled simultaneously. Frisk began clapping while Toriel placed a hand against her head in exasperation.
"Can you be a bit quieter over there?" Grillby asked politely, "Chara and I are trying to focus."
"Focus on what?" Muffet chimed in, finally looking up from her book, "You're just sitting there."
"We're meditating," Chara retorted, "Now shut up. We're in the zone."
"Feh," Muffet scoffed, twirling one of her hands around in the air dismissively, "Who needs all of that freaky spiritual stuff anyway?"
"It's not 'freaky'," Grillby responded, "It's relaxing."
"Whatever," Muffet said, turning back to her book, "Say what you want."
Sans scanned over the room again. This time, he noticed that Asgore had left the room and Alphys and Undyne were now watching anime by themselves. Lucida seemed to notice too, as she quickly raced out of the room. Sans' pupils disappeared as he watched her leave, staring in the direction she left from with his chilling, blank gaze. She was up to something and Sans knew it.
"THEY MADE THIS GAME ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE!" Papyrus moaned, causing Sans to focus his attention back on what his brother was doing, "HOW DO THEY EXPECT ANYONE TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS?"
"It's just a game, is it not?" Toriel asked, trying to get the Trivial Pursuit game back on track and stop Frisk and Monster Kid from stacking the wedges like Lucida had earlier.
"YES," Papyrus replied hesitantly, "BUT IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT GAME."
"don't worry, bro," sans said, nudging his brother's arm, "i know you can do it."
"YES!" Papyrus shouted, a glimmer of determination in his eye, "I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO WHAT NO SKELETON HAS EVER DONE BEFORE! I CAN BEAT THIS GAME WITHOUT LOSING A SINGLE LIFE AND DO IT WITH STYLE! THAT'S THE PAPYRUS WAY!"
"atta bro," Sans replied with a smile. His gaze then turned back to where Lucida had left from. After a moment, he decided that what the female skeleton was doing probably wasn't anything important.
"it's not like she's gonna destroy the world, right?" Sans thought to himself, leaning back against his brother. He chuckled silently at his own ridiculous thought. From what he'd seen out of Lucida thus far, he was beginning to doubt that there was anything suspicious about her at all.
Sans was violently jostled awake as he was thrown across the couch. He figured he'd fallen asleep on Papyrus' shoulder. Now, Papyrus was throwing a tantrum, likely over events in his game. Sans chuckled. It was so incredibly typical of Papyrus. In fact, this was far from the first time Sans had been woken up this way.
Sans quickly scanned the room over again. Everyone was still doing the same things they were before Sans had fallen asleep, so he surmised that he hadn't been asleep for that long.
"Guys! It's an emergency!"
Everyone's attention quickly turned to Lucida, who had just raced into the room.
"What's wrong?" Toriel asked, standing in preparation to take action if needed. Sans noticed some of the others tense up too.
"Asgore is gone!"
The room went completely silent. Some stared at Lucida in confusion while others, like Toriel, brushed Lucida off and went back to what they were doing.
"Wh-what?" Lucida stuttered bewilderedly, "Aren't you guys worried?!"
"He probably just went out to do king stuff," Mettaton piped up from across the room, "He is the king of all monsters, you know."
"If he did leave, then he can stay gone," Toriel huffed bitterly.
Lucida looked like she was going to have a nervous breakdown. Sans stared at her intently.
"I-I," Lucida stuttered, desperately racking her brain for something to say, "I-I f-found a note."
Now everyone's attention snapped back to Lucida.
"What did it say?" Alphys asked nervously.
"I-it said that h-he was...g-getting tired of being king, s-so he was going to leave everyone forever."
Sans sat up rigidly, his left eye flaring up. Glancing around the room, he saw the others chattering nervously amongst themselves and trying to make plans to find him. Sans then looked back at Lucida, who was fearfully wringing her hands. Sans knew she'd just made up a bold-faced lie, but the others didn't seem to realize that. They had no reason to suspect her at all. Only Sans knew what would make someone act the way Lucida was acting.
"Just leave this one to the Spider Detective Agency!" Muffet piped up with a flourish as a crowd of spiders emerged to join her, "We'll take the job for the low, low price of free!"
"What Spider Detec-"
"Really?!" Lucida cried joyously, interrupting Chara's question, "You'd do that?!"
"Free, plus a 15% sales tax," Muffet added, a mischievous grin on her face.
"Deal," Lucida replied, "I'm holding you to that though, Muffet."
"You can count on us! Ahuhuhu~!" Muffet giggled.
"Yay!" Lucida cheered, "Thanks Muffet!"
Now Lucida was completely relaxed again. There was no doubt in Sans' mind at that point. There was definitely something she was trying to accomplish with all of this. All he had left to figure out was what that something was.
"Um, Muffet?" Alphys mumbled.
"Yes, Doctor Alphys?" Muffet responded, turning toward the scientist.
"15% of free is still free, you know," Alphys pointed out. Muffet's eyes widened in shock, the corners of her now-faltering grin beginning to twitch. Sans wasn't sure whether it was momentary relapse or something greater that caused Muffet to forget that fact, but she was sure remembering it now.
"Ha!" Chara laughed, "You got tricked with your own trick!"
"Shut up!" Muffet shouted, her cheeks growing flush.
"What are you guys waiting for?" Lucida chimed in, "Let's get going!"
"Well," Muffet said, regaining her composure, "Luckily for you, I know exactly where to go first! Ahuhu~!"
Sans suddenly found himself alone in the middle of a bustling city with Lucida. Everything had happened so quickly he barely had time to register it all, but he went back over what he knew in his head. Muffet had somehow been able to drag Lucida, Sans, Papyrus, Chara, Flowey, Alphys, and Undyne to Las Vegas. Toriel had been adamant about staying out of the search for Asgore and kept Frisk behind with her, Mettaton and his entourage had stayed behind for their television schedule, and Grillby and Monster Kid stayed behind for their own reasons.
Upon getting to Las Vegas, Lucida had gotten angry at Muffet for dragging them there before Muffet, Chara, and Flowey ran off to go try to gamble. Directly after that, Alphys thought she spotted a "real-life anime character", so she and Undyne raced off to go find them, and Papyrus ran off because he thought he spotted a video game store. Before Sans could follow after Papyrus, he was pushed back by the crowd and lost sight of his brother. Now he was alone with Lucida, to his own dismay.
"Aw, come on!" Lucida shouted in exasperation, "We're supposed to be searching for Asgore!"
Sans stared at Lucida for a while trying to gauge what she was feeling. He couldn't figure out exactly what she was mad at, if she was even mad at all. In fact, a small part of her almost seemed happy that all of this was happening. He'd watched her when Muffet, Chara, and Flowey left and he could have sworn she'd smiled just a bit.
"O-okay," Lucida stuttered, beginning to pace in circles, "A-at least I'm not alone. Sans is still here. Y-you're with me, aren't you, Sans?"
Sans tensed up, only barely able to keep his pupils from fading out. Lucida was speaking like an actress trying to talk off-script. It was almost disturbing.
"sure," Sans replied hesitantly.
"Okay," Lucida said, exhaling deeply and relaxing, "First, we need to find a Krispy Kreme."
"huh?" Sans grunted confusedly. Lucida's fear had vanished instantly once he gave in to her demands. It was only more proof that there was something wrong here.
"Trust me on this one," Lucida replied, grabbing Sans' hand and dragging him through the crowd. Sans contemplated pulling away, but he decided to go along with Lucida just to see what would come of it, his curiosity getting the best of him.
"Here," Lucida said, handing Sans a box of donuts. Sans lifted the top of the box open in curiosity to find a dozen lemon creme donuts sitting inside. Lucida held another box presumably filled with the same contents as Sans'.
"what are these for?" Sans asked bewilderedly. If he weren't so suspicious of Lucida, he could probably feel comfortable saying one of the hundreds of donut puns flying through his mind right now.
"We're going to find Asgore using these!" Lucida replied enthusiastically, "We'll just hold them up in the air and call out for him and he should come straight to us!"
"what?" Sans responded incredulously. There was absolutely no logic behind this plan whatsoever and Sans had to wonder if the plan was made for some other purpose entirely.
"Asgore likes these, doesn't he?" Lucida asked sheepishly.
"not as far as i know," Sans answered, "but who knows? maybe asgore could be a big sucker for these things. tori'd know this kind of thing better than us."
"Well, it's worth a shot!" Lucida said, grabbing a donut and thrusting it into the air. Sans plucked a donut out of his box and did the same. He was curious to see where exactly Lucida was going with this.
"Hey, Asgore!" Lucida shouted, "We have lemon creme donuts!"
"LUCIDA? IS THAT YOU?"
Sans knew that voice anywhere.
"hey, pap!" Sans called out, "we're over here!"
After a moment, Papyrus emerged from the crowd. Sans sighed in relief. At least he knew Papyrus was okay.
"where'd you go, anyway?" Sans asked.
"I WENT TO THE GAME STORE AND GOT A NEW GAME!" Papyrus answered enthusiastically, "LOOK! I HAVE TO FIGHT AN EVIL DUCK WITH A HAMMER!"
"He's playing Kirby?" Lucida inquired.
"he's playing kirby," Sans replied.
"Well, Papyrus," Lucida continued, "Sans and I have been searching for Asgore. Here!"
Lucida threw her donut box on top of Sans' and dug around for another donut, handing it off to Papyrus.
"WHAT IS THIS FOR?" Papyrus asked, eyeing the donut curiously.
"It's to lure him in," Lucida said, "Now hold it up."
"Hey, donuts!"
Sans whirled around to see a human man making his way toward the skeleton trio.
"Not for you!" Lucida shouted, stepping inbetween the man and Sans. The man pouted defeatedly, getting ready to leave.
"Hold up!" Lucida called to the man, "Have you seen a really big white goat man anywhere?"
"What?" the man grunted in reply, completely bewildered.
"Never mind. Here," Lucida responded, handing the man a donut.
"Finally," the man said, getting ready to eat the donut.
"Don't eat it!" Lucida shouted. The man almost dropped the donut in surprise, fumbling clumsily until he finally got a firm grasp on the donut again.
"Well, why did you give it to me, then?" the man asked, clearly beginning to get ticked off.
"Hold it up in the air and yell 'Asgore!' really loud, okay?"
The man stared at Lucida for a while, his face scrunched up in confusion at her crazy demands.
"Is this some kind of prank?" the man finally said.
"No," Lucida replied, eyes darting away from the man's gaze. The man stared at Lucida for a moment longer before scoffing and walking away, eating the donut as he went.
"Darn it!" Lucida cried, "We lost one! How inconsiderate..."
Sans couldn't help but laugh. It was somewhat satisfying to see Lucida's plans backfiring on her. He had to wonder, though, if this was really her plan backfiring or if she'd intended for this too.
Just then, Lucida let out a piercing shriek, tearing through the crowd. Dropping the donuts in surprise, Sans grabbed Papyrus and followed after her, pushing past people as he tried to keep on Lucida's path. When he finally caught up, he found Lucida perched on Undyne's back, pounding on the fish warrior's shoulder's with her fists and trying to knock her opponent over.
"Why won't you fall?!" Lucida shouted in rage. Undyne stared at Lucida in confusion.
"ALPHYS! UNDYNE! WE HAVE FOUND YOU!" Papyrus cheered, "DID YOU EVER FIND THE REAL ANIME?"
"No," Alphys replied, "I thought I saw Mew-Mew, but, heh, it actually turned out to be just a cosplayer from Michigan."
"ouch," Sans said, wincing to express his sentiments.
"I know, right?!" Undyne roared, clenching her fists tightly. She seemed to be ignoring Lucida for now.
"How could you leave us behind for a Mew-Mew wannabe from Michigan?!" Lucida yelled, attempting to pound Undyne's head, though it didn't faze Undyne whatsoever. Undyne then grabbed Lucida by the back of her dress, tossing her to the ground nonchalantly, which only served to make Lucida angrier. Just then, as if only to make matters worse, Muffet, Chara, and Flowey finally showed themselves. Upon spotting them, Lucida screeched in fury, charging toward Muffet, who immediately turned tail and ran away as quickly as she possibly could with Lucida hot on her heels.
"I THINK I'LL GO BACK AND GET THE DONUTS NOW," Papyrus said once Muffet and Lucida were out of sight.
"Donuts?" Undyne asked in confusion, "What for?"
"for asgore," Sans replied hesitantly, deeply feeling the ridiculousness of what he was saying.
"Donuts for Asgore?" Alphys inquired, "What are we supposed to do with them?"
"hold them up."
Alphys and Undyne both stared at Sans like he'd grown a second head.
"Well, that's stupid," Undyne remarked, "We can't possibly just traipse across the world waving donuts in the air. We'd look like complete morons!"
"well, donut look at me," Sans said, making a pun to try to make himself feel better about being the unwilling advocate for explaining Lucida's crazy plan, "lucida thought this up."
"SANS!" Papyrus yelled, "YOUR TERRIBLE PUN MADE ME RUN INTO THE EVIL HAMMER DUCK AND DIE!"
"Is he playing Kirby?" Alphys asked curiously.
"IT'S KIRBY SUPERSTAR ULTRA," Papyrus said, "AND SANS IS CERTAINLY NOT HELPING WITH HIS PUNS."
"well, i sure hope that you can kir-beat it soon, bro."
Papyrus looked like he was about to explode. Sans laughed, as did Alphys and Undyne. Secretly, he knew that Papyrus enjoyed his puns, no matter how much he refused to show it. Just then, he spotted Lucida dragging an unconscious Muffet behind her.
"Come on, guys," Lucida said defeatedly, "We're going home."
"What about Asgore?!" Alphys exclaimed.
"He's the one that left us," Lucida replied, "I say he's made his decision."
Sans glared at Lucida. On the one hand, he knew this whole thing was a farce from the start and Lucida had made it all up. On the other hand, though, she'd caused a crisis and riled everyone up for no reason at all. What were her motives?
"We have gathered here to honor the life of our dear friend, Asgore. May he rest in peace."
"Uh, Lucida?" Alphys muttered, "Asgore is still alive."
"Oh yeah," Lucida responded. The search party had returned to the Zyzzyva House and were now gathered around a picture of Asgore placed on a table in the lounge. Lucida had been insistent on having this memorial of sorts, but only those from the search party were present for whatever reason.
"I can't believe he's really gone," Alphys muttered, hugging Undyne's arm tightly. She then realized what she was doing and quickly let go, her face red as a tomato.
"Now we're never going to see him again," Lucida added, her head in her hands.
"Come on, guys," Undyne prodded, "We just established that he's not dead. He's still alive."
"With this level of grief, he might as well be dead," Chara chimed in, probably more cheerfully than they should've.
"Is there something going on in here?"
Everyone immediately whirled around to see Asgore standing in the entryway to the lounge. Sans sighed in relief. For a moment, he'd been worried that Lucida had done something to him, but at least now he knew that Asgore was safe.
"Asgore! You're back!" Lucida exclaimed, racing toward Asgore and hugging him tightly.
"I can't believe you left!" Undyne shouted, also charging toward Asgore and practically lifting him off the floor with her embrace.
"You've got some nerve showing your face here," Flowey spat. Chara giggled, amused with the situation.
"WHY DID YOU LEAVE, ASGORE?" Papyrus asked innocently.
"Where did you go, anyway?" Alphys inquired.
"Um," Asgore began, "I don't really know why all of you are so excited to see me. I was merely in the bathroom."
Everyone froze. They all then looked to Lucida for an answer. Sans grinned mischeviously, his eye flaring up. Now was finally where he'd get to gauge Lucida's intentions.
"Why are you having a funeral for me?" Asgore asked nervously, eyes scanning the room.
"I-I don't get it! Rou-!"
Lucida choked on her words, having frozen in place. She looked like she was desperately fishing for something to say, but couldn't get it out. The pressure must have been too great, because, within about a minute of being stared down, Lucida passed out, collapsing unconscious to the floor. While watching the others scramble to try to help her, Sans stepped back, quickly making his way out of the room.
"there's no rhyme or reason to anything she does...unless there's something bigger going on here..."