Camera Shy

Full Summary: Sasori never thought he'd have to do this. He never thought he'd fall so hard. He never thought he'd end up loving a ten year old boy who doesn't remember who he is. With a lifetime of awful memories and experiences, Deidara simply shows up on Sasori's doorstep one eventful night. Will Sasori be able admit his feelings in time and unearth Deidara's mysterious past? Or will Deidara have so many dark corners in his life that it's impossible to save him?

Pairings: SasoDei, DeiSaso, slight ItaHidan and KakuDei

Warnings: Yaoi lemon, OOC, mild language, violence, rape, ect. ect...

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters.

Other: Talking, thinking/dreams, writing

Sasori took Deidara to his house, realizing he'd have to get some clothes for him. Maybe he could find some old clothes that would fit the blonde. It felt like he had just brought home his baby brother from the hospital, only his baby brother was already ten years old.

"Sasori, un?" Deidara said as Sasori unlocked his apartment door.

"Yeah?" He slid out of his jacket and slung it over the kitchen table. He felt awkward with Deidara following him around. He suddenly felt young, younger than he'd ever felt before. Living on his own had driven many years on him, but he still wasn't ready for a kid. He had too much to worry about…but he just couldn't refuse Deidara, where else would he go?

"Thank you, un," he smiled a cute, dazzling smile.

"Um…y-yeah, no problem…" He muttered, leading Deidara up the stairs into his room…their room.

Damn it, where the hell would he sleep!?

"I'll find you some clothes," he told the blonde, telling him to relax. Deidara sat awkwardly on the bed, folding his hands in his lap. He was handling this rather well, Sasori mused. He almost expected that he would have to drag Deidara to his house in tears, his loss of memory terrifying him enough to go insane. It was a surprise Dediara hadn't gone insane. He was calm, even if he was scared.

Sasori dug around in his closet for a moment, finding some clothes he had when he was about 11. Deidara was awfully skinny, but then again, he was pretty slim when he was that age, too.

"Try these," Sasori handed them to the blonde, expecting him to exit the room to change, but instead starting pulling off his shirt.

Sasori spun around, locking his eyes on his feet. He didn't know why he was so embarrassed to watch Deidara undress. He was a child, of course he wasn't going to care who saw him. But strangely, Sasori had felt his cheeks heat up at that moment.

When he stopped hearing the rustle of fabric, he turned around again.

His clothes fit Deidara rather well, but they were still a bit big.

They would have to do.

"Are you hungry?" Sasori wondered, returning into the kitchen knowing Deidara would follow him like a puppy.

"No, un," Deidara said distantly.

"You're too skinny." Sasori found himself worrying about the blonde, making it his responsibility that Deidara was healthy. This wasn't his job, he was forced to give Deidara a place to stay!

"I'm fine, un," he insisted.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, un…"

"Well…okay…" He looked Deidara up and down. "How do you feel?" The question was strained. Sasori didn't know how to handle all of this. He didn't know what to say, or how to act. Should he try keeping a coversation with Deidara, to get to know him more, or to show him he could trust Sasori? Or should he just remain silent, giving Deidara his time alone? He didn't know what Deidara was like. They were utter strangers.

"Fine, un." He wondered if this was the right time to start pestering Deidara for information, since he had already said he couldn't remember anything. He would say something if he had a memory, surely.

Deidara lithely hopped up on the table. He looked down at the blonde's feet, without socks.

"You're going to catch a cold," he commented without thinking about it. "It gets awfully cold here at night." Deidara shrugged, but Sasori darted back to his room and tore apart his closet again to try and find a warm pair of socks.

I'm acting like his mother…He thought vaguely when he sprinted back to find Deidara exactly like he had left him. But this is what I'm supposed to do, right? I'm supposed to take care of him.

He shook his head and bent down on his knees, gaining a disapproving look from Deidara.

"I'm okay, un, really," he argued one last time before Sasori slipped the socks onto his small feet. His toenails looked chipped and scratched, as if he had been dragged somewhere barefoot, and tried to resist.

Sasori shuddered and mentally scolded himself for thinking such negative, morbid thoughts. This certainly wasn't the time.

"Sasori, un, I'm not a child," Deidara said indignantly, but quietly.

"Yes you are." Deidara pouted, but didn't protest anymore. He was still a baby at heart, Sasori thought, wondering how he could have possibly read what was in Deidara's heart so soon. It seemed like he could sense something, something mysterious and dark, a thin wisp of smoke concealing Deidara's life. Sasori could only see so much. What could Deidara be thinking about all this? He was bound to be grateful, to have a home at last, but to live with such a bitter person...was he disappointed? Upset?

"You'll be sleeping in my bed, Deidara," Sasori confirmed, making his way down the hallway again, Deidara tailing close behind.

"But where will you sleep, un?"

"On the floor I guess."

"But it's your house, un."

"It's okay." Sasori shrugged. He didn't mind giving up his bed, not really. Deidara was polite, so it made Sasori feel a little bit better about the whole thing.

"O-okay…thank you, un." Sasori stiffened, the sincerity of his gratefulness stirring him. He couldn't imagine himself getting attached to another human being. Konan was a miracle, and it had taken a while for Sasori to like her. And she was an adult, a nice, responsible woman. She could take care of herself.

Deidara crawled sleepily under the blankets, turning on his side and instantly falling asleep. Sasori watched him for an agonizing moment. He had incredibly long, black and thin, like spider's legs. The metal eye did not change as Deidara slept. It remained icily alert, as if watching the surroundings while Deidara could not. Sasori wrenched his curious gaze away and switched off the light, situating himself on the floor. He took off his shirt and threw it to the side, leaving his pants on and reaching into his pocket. He pulled out the single piece of paper and squinted at it through the darkness. Konan had printed this especially for him;

Name: Deidara

Birthday: May 15, 1999

Blood type: AB

Weight: 34 kg

Height: 56 cm

Left Handed

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Blue

It was uncomfortably short. Deidara was only 30 kg…Sasori mentally converted in his head…75 pounds. Odd…a healthy ten year old was supposed to weigh at least 70 pounds, but Deidara was much to skinny to be as much as 75...

Sasori blinked a few times before tucking the page back into his pocket. He must have added wrong or something.

He rested his head on the hard wood floor. He was wide awake, full of thoughts and questions. There was too much bouncing around in his head for him to think clearly, to pick one question and focus on it. He felt fuzzy, like he wasn't quite there, just half there. It didn't seem real, either. Sasori officially had another person living in his single apartment, a mysterious offspring of two pyhscopathic murderers with one of his eyes replaced with a machine. A lot had happened in that one day, and Sasori couldn't just sleep and accept the next morning so soon.

He wasn't in control of this situation, he was hardly in control of his position. He needed to know everything. He was a frenzied student at school, especially. After a test, he was riddled with sour anxiety, because he didn't know his score. He wasn't in control of what his score was, or how it was decided. And once he got it back, and saw the red circled number at the top of the page, he relaxed. He knew.

But now, he knew nothing. He had no way of knowing. And even though he shouldn't care, he didn't want to care, he did. All because of his obsesion with control. He had to know everyone's business. Not because his was nosy, or wanted to gossip, just because he had to.

He clenched his eyes shut, not wanting to delve into his weird personality any more. He couldn't help it, it was the way he was born, and there was nothing he could do about it.

There was nothinf he could about Deidara either, he reminded himself. And that fact tore away at him like termites.

Sasori wasn't sure if he had fallen asleep or not when he heard a pathetic whimpering from above him. He wanted to ignore it, but the whimpering turned to moans, loud echoes sounding off the walls. Eerie, troublings moans.

He rolled over onto his side, knowing he couldn't block it out. He was a very light sleeper, unfortunately, probably because he lived alone. It was an instinct, since there was no one to protect him if something ever happened. But before he could get up, a weight dropped onto him before he could even stand up. It was actually pretty light, but it snapped him out of his state of grogginess immediately. He shifted to get the body off of his hip, and he realized what had plunged on top of him.

Deidara had fallen out of bed, and tears streamed down his one eye as his teeth chattered. It was hard to see him in the dark, but they were close enough for Sasori to make him out.

"Deidara, what's the matter?" He asked blearily, rubbing his eyes as he focused on the trembling form laying on his bare chest. He tried not to be angry, since Deidara was obviously in distress. But he had hardly slept, and was inexplicably irritable.

"I-I--" Deidara stammered, taking a couple deep breaths so he could form words. "I had a bad dream, un…" Sasori inwardly groaned, but smiled understandingly down at the blonde. He wanted to just forget about it, but he just couldn't order Deidara back to bed without comforting him. Deidara looked like a trampled puppy in his arms as Sasori propped himself up on his elbows. Deidara wouldn't meet his gaze.

"It's okay," the redhead assured him. He let Deidara stay with him until he had calmed down, his arms wrapped around his knees as Sasori watched him.

"Are you alright now?" He said carefully. Deidara nodded cautiously, then shot him a pleading glance.

"C-can I stay down here, un? With you?" Sasori recoiled, his face twisting into an expression of awkardness and confusion. Was this what it was like having a child? He thought, then uneasily nodded.

"Yeah," he murmured, thinking it wouldn't be so bad to have Deidara sleep near him. If it helped Deidara, well then, it was what he had to do.

Deidara smiled sheepishly and curled up against Sasori's stomach, burying his face in his chest.

Sasori immediately stiffened at the warmth, staring down at Deidara's golden head. Maybe Konan was right…if they were friends, maybe the blonde would be able to regain his memory faster. But why had Deidara taken a specific liking to him? Konan, Shizune, and Sakura had been kinder to him, and Sasori had been on the fence about letting Deidara stay with him. The others would have been happy to have the little blonde with them, not miserably inconvenienced.

I'm so selfish, he reflected forlornly. He gracelessly wrapped his arms around Deidara's slim waist, even more alert now that he had this second person with him…

He stayed awake for a while, staring into the darkness with blank eyes. Slowly, Deidara's soft breathing lulled in into a restless sleep. Sasori could feel him breath against his body, his tiny heartbeat barely audiable, even in the silence. He seemed to be relaxed, so why wasn't Sasori?

Sasori pried open his eyes, and the first thing he noticed was the cold. Deidara wasn't in his arms anymore, but sprawled out on the floor with the blanket half covering him.

He looked at the clock; 7:30. Pretty early, but not earlier than he was used to during the summer. He knew he couldn't go back to sleep, so he decided he might as well find something useful to do.

He rose quietly, making sure not to wake the blonde as scooped up his shirt from yesterday and crept into the kitchen. He hoped Konan needed Deidara at the hospital, for he had no plans today. He actually just wanted to lie in bed all day and enjoy the freedom of summer, but that probably wasn't enough for Deidara.

He opened the cabinets to see if there was anything decent he could make for breakfast, but he heard soft footsteps in the hallway and a ruffled blonde appeared before him.

"Deidara, what are you doing up so early?" Deidara drowsily stepped forward, gazing at Sasori with hopeful eyes.

"N-nothing, un, never mind," he said in embarrassment. He had woken up alone, and that frightened him.

"Go back to bed," Sasori ordered.

"I can't, un." Sasori sucked in his breath to keep calm.

"What do you want for breakfast?" He beckoned Deidara over and sat him in one of the kitchen chairs.

"You don't need to make anything, un," Deidara insisted. "I can get it myself, un."

"Don't be silly, Deidara. Are you hungry?"

"S-sure." Neither of them were used to living together, after all, it was only the first morning.

"What do you want?"

"A-anything's fine, un." Sasori searched around for something to make for Deidara. To start with, he stuck two pieces of bread in the toaster, turning back to ask Deidara what he wanted to drink, but the blonde's head was resting on his arms, and he was fast asleep.

Despite himself, Sasori smiled. Actually smiled. It was a natural reaction to something so cute.

His mind was blank as he watched the blonde. The toast was already popped up in the toaster, getting cold, but Sasori paid it no mind.

His phone rang in his pocket, and he quickly answered it before it could wake Deidara.

"Hello?" He whispered.

"How was you first night together?" Konan wondered cheerfully.

"Um…fine, I guess," he answered apprehensively.

"How did he sleep?"

"He woke up in the middle of the night."

"Why?"

"He said he had a bad dream." Konan giggled.

"Did you take care of it?"

"Y-yeah…" The image of a crying Deidara snuggling up to him involuntarily crossed his mind. He didn't know what to think of the blonde's affections. Obviously, Deidara had chosen him to be his favorite.

"Where is he now?" Konan resumed.

"Sleeping."

"Can you bring him in when he wakes up?"

"Sure." They ended the conversation. Sasori hadn't asked what they were going to do with Deidara, and he tried to not care. He turned off his phone so it wouldn't ring again and shifted around Deidara so he could lift the boy off his chair. He didn't stir as Sasori carried him bridal style back to his room. His makeshift bed on the floor was in disarray and he carefully stepped over it and set the blonde on the unmade mattress.

He hoped he would sleep for a while, giving him time to himself, time to think.

But the hour he had of solitude was wasted by a constant surveillance of Deidara. He talked in his sleep, mute mutterings that Sasori wished he could make out. He also continuously moved to different positions, sometime so much, his head would be at the foot of the bed while his feet at the top. It was…hard to explain why Sasori kept his watch. He couldn't look away.

At last, around ten am, Deidara roused and sat up, blinking at Sasori, who shook his head, wanting to hide how absorbed he had been in Deidara's sleep.

"Morning," he said. "Or, afternoon."

"Why didn't you wake me up, un?"

"You were tired…" he hesitated. "Konan wants to see you today."

"Oh."

"Do you not want to go?"

"That's not it, un…"

"Then what is it?" Sasori pressed, seeing Deidara's indecision to confess. Again, he just wanted to know what Deidara was thinking, so he could store it in his mind with all the rest of the knowledge he know possessed because of his determination to know.

"I'm scared, un," he finally admitted, and Sasori froze.

"Of what, Deidara?" He made an attempt to sound soothing, but he wasn't sure if it worked or not.

"I don't know, un."

"Everything will be okay," Sasori reassured him, and without realizing it, motioned Deidara over to him. Truthfully, he wasn't sure if everything was going to be okay, and that bothered him almost as much as Deidara himself. Why did Deidara have to come to him? Why did he have to open his door at the exact moment Deidara was about to faint? What were the chances that an orphan boy on the busy streets would be such a strange case, a case that he wanted to investigate. Konan could have taken him in. Sasori could have set his foot down and refused, no matter how guilty it made him feel. But he didn't. And he was dealing with what was expected of an underage amnesiac. He was acting so out of character now that Deidara was in life. He 'adopted' Deidara without being sure of what would happen. Normally, he wouldn't do that if he was promised ten million dollars. And yet...

The blonde warily stood up and sat on Sasori's lap, leaning his head against the redhead's neck. Sasori was tense, but Deidara was soft and peaceful, enjoying the embrace. The contact was foreign to Sasori, he hadn't hugged anyone like this since his own parents.

"Konan's a nice person, really," Sasori said stiffly. He was trying to set Deidara's mind at rest about his trip to the hospital, but he didn't know how to. "It'll be okay. She'll figure something out."

He was growing fond of Deidara, and it was tearing down his barriers, his routines, everything he had had before the blonde showed up in his life.

Konan greeted them gleefully when they reached the hospital, and Deidara was friendlier in turn, obviously in a better mood after Sasori's "encourgement."

"Was Sasori nice to you, Deidara?" Konan directed this at the blonde, but she was really just saying it to irritate Sasori.

"Um…yeah, un."

"Are you hungry?" Deidara didn't answer, so Sasori did for him.

"I would think so. I tried to give him something this morning, but he fell asleep. Do you have something here?"

"Of course I do!" Konan skipped off into another room, returning with a chilled riceball, half wrapped in paper. She gave it to Deidara, telling him to ask if he wanted anything else.

"Amazing, Konan," Sasori grumbled. Of course she had something with her. She would have been better for Deidara.

"What did you expect?" She said smugly, pulling Deidara into a room with Shizune and Sakura standing in the corner. The room was spacious, a few inconspicious cabinets and dressers. A bed sat in the center, and it looked more comfortable than a normal cot in a hospital room. Another door was ajar to the right, and Sasori saw an X-ray machine in there, the lights off.

There was also new character Sasori didn't recognize. He was an extremely pale, poorly-clad man that looked around 18 or 19, it was hard to tell; his face looked young, like a teenager's. His grayish hair was slicked back behind his ears, just long enough that he touched his shoulders. Even from where he was standing, Sasori could see the excess amount of hair-gel.

"This is Hidan," Konan introduced him, and Hidan grinned a supposedly seductive grin, slinking forward to closely inspect Deidara's left eye.

The blonde flinched, shrinking back into Sasori, who was fuming at Hidan. He looked unproffesional, and this irritated Sasori.

"Are you trying to scare him?" He snarled, and Konan's smile faded into a disappointed frown.

"Hidan," she warned, and he reluctantly drew away from Deidara. If Konan had to warn him with such a stern voice, then Hidan was no more an adult than Deidara was. Sasori glared at him suspiciously.

"Sorry," she then apologized to him and Sasori. "He's a little…eager."

"Eager," Sasori scoffed, but caught himself before he could start an argument in front of Deidara.

"He'll be examining your eye today," Konan said guiltily, and Sasori threw them both a scathing look.

"I don't think so." He wasn't sure why he was being so protective of the blonde, but he felt this seething need to be Deidara's shield. No matter how much he hated to acknowledge it, he was starting to like Deidara. Although he was good at hiding his emotions, Konan was very perceptive. She knew Sasori like he was her own son, and she could always tell what he was really feeling. That thought pertrubed him even more.

"Sasori, he's the only one who can do it," Konan pointed out coolly. "He's a speciaist. We're lucky he agreed to come here. He wouldn't dare disobey me." She narrowed her eyes at Hidan.

"What?" Hidan's voice was low and sensual, like a deep rumble in the back of his throat at every word. "I make my own rules."

"But you follow mine," Konan said threateningly, and that was the end of that. Deidara was taken aback by the sudden confrontation; seeing sweet, blissful Konan growl at someone like that was unsettling.

"Now," she continued, "Deidara, please come sit on this bed." Deidara reluctantly obeyed, climbing on top of the white cotton bed and resting his stare securely on Sasori. But Hidan broke the trance by stepping deliberately in front of the redhead.

"Let's look at this here," he purred, tracing his long, nimble fingers along Deidara's metal eye. The boy cringed, but didn't move as Hidan fiddled with the back, trying to find a way to open it.

He picked at a notch in the side with a sharp fingernail, skillfully clicking the top open. Sasori raised his eyebrow; he hadn't expected it to open so easily. Hidan really was a specialist.

"Look at this!" He said in awe, admiring the inside of the machine. It made no sense to Sasori except a bunch of wires and things, but Hidan was marveling at it.

He slipped past the older man to stand behind Deidara, watching Hidan with an acid expression.

"What does it look like to you?" Sakura inquired. Shizune kept shyly quiet.

"It's hard to tell…" Hidan murmured, poking around things so he could see farther. "It's so…complex!"

Deidara glued his other eye shut as Hidan's husky breath rushed past his nose.

Suddenly, a flashback materialized, one about Deidara's parents. He remembered them working nonstop in the basement, leaving Deidara alone almost all the time. He remembered them having to move a lot, never really keeping a stable home. And he never understood why.

"S-Sasori?" He called out, stumbling around the memory.

"What is it?" Relief flooded through him as he heard Sasori's voice.

"M-my parents…they…" Konan leaned forward as Deidara recalled something from his past. Sasori noticed with acute awareness every little change in Deidara's appearance, how he fidgeted, his gaze fixed on a specific spot. Was he observing the blonde too closely? Was he turning soft after years and years of being cold and lifeless? Why would a insignificant blonde with a disturbed past change the way Sasori felt, the way he lived!?

But he was…he was changing Sasori drastically. A tiny, timid boy was turning Sasori's world.

"They…were always busy, un, " Deidara went on. "I-I was always alone, un. They worked…o-on their experiments…un…we moved a lot. But they never told me anything, un." Konan waited for more, but it looked like Deidara was done.

Hidan knew well enough to end his work, snapping the blonde's eye shut and moving away. He had nothing to do with their personal moments.

Deidara looked away as soon as Hidan released him, stepping down from the bed.

"That's enough of this," Sasori said resolutely. "I don't want to see Hidan." As if on orders, Hidan stalked out the door, a small smirk playing on his lips. Once he was gone, Deidara relaxed.

"Finish this," Konan whispered, handing Deidara his half-eaten riceball, but he refused it. "I just have to do a few more examinations and you'll be done." Deidara just nodded, and Sasori narrowed his eyes. This occurrence had been an impact on him as well; he had remembered something, however something small and not very useful, he had remembered. That was a good sign; he was progressing.

"Sasori, you can leave if you want," Konan said briskly. "I have to do a little physical, make sure any cuts or anything haven't reopened, infection, whatever." Deidara's composure flickered for the briefest of moments.

"I'll stay," Sasori assured them both. "It's fine." Where else would he go?

"Alright…but you're going to have to let go of his hand." Sasori, puzzled, opened his mouth to question this, but then looked down at his and Deidara's hands intertwined.

"R-right!" He yelped, louder than he had intended. He untangled his fingers from the blonde's and pressed himself against the wall, mortified.

"Don't get defensive," Konan chuckled, nodding to Deidara for him to take off his clothes.

"I-I wasn't!" Sasori could have kicked himself. He couldn't believe it.

"Shh, never mind," Konan silenced him, lifting Deidara's arms up and turning his attention away from the humiliated Sasori. Holding Deidara's hand through his memory had just seemed natural, he hadn't even realized he had done it.

"Your bruises are healing nicely," Konan commented gladly, tracing her finger delicately along a crescent-shaped nail mark on his stomach.

"Konan, un?"

"Mm hmm?"

"What happened to me, un? Why do I have all these marks?" Konan tensed, glancing at Sasori for help, but he remained motionless. He wasn't about to say anything, especially something that would upset Deidara.

"Um, nothing to concern yourself, Deidara," she said quietly. "Don't worry about it."

"I want to know, un."

"Deidara, it's okay. You're ready for some new bandages."

"Konan, un, please?" Konan sighed.

"Do you remember anything that happened yesterday, that night?" Konan wasn't about to tell Deidara he was raped, but maybe he would guess it himself. But then what would happen? What kind of memory would that be? A terrible one, surely, and how would it affect him? Rape was traumatizing, even for an adult. For a child...it could mess up his mind entirely. Suddenly remembering that he had been used, hurt.

"N-no." Konan staggered around for words, unable to think of putting it nicely.

"Never mind, un," Deidara mumbled, allowing Konan to inspect his bruised legs in relief.

"Hee hee, Sasori looks uncomfortable. Now why is that, Sasori?"

"You know perfectly well that there is nothing going on here," Sasori hissed, his voice soaked with hostility. Deidara hung his head, stung that he made Sasori yell.

"That I do, Sasori, that I do…" She dismissed it easily, swinging her eyes back to Deidara. He appeared badly beaten up, but he was healing. No cuts had reopened, they looked fine.

She hurriedly finished her task, and tossed Deidara his clothes. She kissed him innocently on his cheek, but he blushed red all the same.

"Don't worry about anything, Deidara. Everything will be fine. Sasori will take care of you, I promise." She leaned in closer to Deidara's ear so Sasori couldn't hear her. "He really likes you, even though he won't admit it. Go easy on him!"

"O-okay…" Deidara bit his lip, wondering if what Konan had told him was true.

"Come on Deidara," Sasori called, and Deidara obediently fell into step next to him, instantly grabbing the redhead's swinging hand and holding it tightly as they departed the hospital. Sasori let him, deciding that holding his hand wasn't completely unbearable.

But not nice.

He would never admit that.

Konan scrutinized them as they left, her face serious but her heart fluttering. Sasori had given Deidara exactly what he needed, and it would surely make things a little easier for all of them.

A/N: I revised this one too. Sorry it's so long, but that's kind of the point. Mysteries have details, and mysteries are damn hard to write! I can't write mysteries, so this one is like...a miracle. I figure out the bad guy, how it's gonna end, all the clues, but I don't know how to make the people find them...I suck. But I hope you like this. I changed a lot, because I wasn't happy with how affectionate Sasori was being. He is still a little OOC, but not as much as before. So...be happy with it.

~The Cupcake Monster

PS...I like riceballs. Therefore, Deidara does too.