Disclaimer: I do not own Greek Mythology, Absolute Boyfriend, the song lyrics to "Local God", or much of anything. But please, feel free to bid on my soul which is still up for grabs. Who wants my soul? Anyone? (echo) Anybody? Heeelllooo?

Author's Note: Sorry that it took so long! I don't have much access to the computer or the internet so when I'm offline and all, I write everything by hand on paper. Pretty sucky, huh? Thanks to those who reviewed, I decided to actually write another chapter. Hmm…didn't think people would actually LIKE this thing.

Oh yeah, by the way… The last chapter lacked italics. I noticed this AFTER I posted it. Sorry about that. I'll try and fix it!

Chapter Two: A Series of Unfortunate Events

Among all who could boast Godhead, none sang more beautifully or more sweetly than radiant Apollo. Throughout the halls of Mount Olympus, his song inspired one to dance as well as one to weep tears of sorrow. Mankind could be rendered speechless by his melody and there was much worshipping of him by those who yearned for his tutelage-for only he could teach one fully about the art of music.

With one strum of his lyre he could move the stars.

At the moment, he was using his talent for a slightly less noble purpose (than teaching ignorant mortals his forte) of seducing a young nymph who he found to be extremely attractive.

Second only to Zeus, Apollo was quite the womanizer. Although less open than his father, the golden-haired youth had chased his fair share of the opposite sex. Brunettes, blondes, red-heads…it didn't matter. He lusted for one after another like a hungry wolf. Despite the fact that he cared for the lot of the girls that he pursued in his own way, once he grew bored that was the end of it. He'd move on to the next new unfortunate female. All it really was was lust…pure, uninhibited lust.

The newest sensation was laying next to him, her body pressed up against him so that he could feel the softness of her breasts against his bare, tan flesh. It felt good. No matter how many times he felt it, it would always feel good.

"Apollo, sing me another one!" the demi-diety exclaimed, tugging on his toga lightly "Plleease!"

He sighed and without thinking went into another song that was neither his favorite or his least favorite-it was just the only song he could think of at the time. She had heard his favorites and now it was getting down to a wire. Despite him being a God, there was still limitations. He could honestly swear that even he was tiring of his lyre.

xXx

"Be my Romeo. Please be my voice in this world. I can't sing the songs that you sing. I can't find the gorgeous words. Will you be my Romeo? My go-go Romeo? I see you twist and turn. You look so stupid!"

Did I ever mention that when I'm drunk I sing really random songs?

"I feel just like a local God when I'm with the boys! We do what we want. Yes, we do what we want! I feel just like a local God when I'm with the boys! We do what we want! Yes, we do what we want!"

Obnoxiously?

The bridge smelt of cheap liquor and irony as Merle danced around and sang the lyrics of the song playing on her CD. In terms of musical talent, there was much to be desired. Her voice cracked as she hit a particularly high note in her vocal range which sent her into massive fits of laughter. Usually this "laughter" wouldn't occur in her but…she was drunk.

Things are much funnier when you have enough booze in you to drown your pet goldfish in.

And when she was drunk, everything was pretty damn funny. To her, at least.

You see, I have this "problem"-

This sudden transformation had been brought on by a great many things. First of all, the missions themselves. To know that she was solely responsible for the safety of an entire world…no matter how many missions she undertook (unwillingly most of the times) it always threw her. It was something she felt she'd probably feel for the rest of her career…that unbearable cross upon her shoulders that told her just how weighty her actions were. Every move she made would change that planet's future. How could someone like her save a world when she couldn't even…

But it's really not a problem at all because I don't have any problems!

Another was that despite her high position in Section X and the Administration, she was still only a teenager. The tender age of eighteen to be exact. They had made an exception in recruiting her and expected that she would act accordingly-like a mature adult. Even though she had gave up the world of childhood ages before Section X, she always had that pressure to be better than anyone else. To be more skilled, poised, prepared, and "grounded" as possible. There was so much more… So many problems that they all seemed to mix into each other.

And so to fix her problem-

I like alcohol.

She drank like an army of champion sailors.

"Be my Romeo! Tell me all about your love. Tell me all about your pain. Baited breath and rubber gloves. Be my Romeo. My go-go Romeo! I see you twist and turn and you look so FUCKING STUPID!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, emphasizing the last two words with extra gusto.

A lot.

"Arrival of set destination in approximately fifteen minutes."

The computer stimulated voice of a rather cold-sounding female startled Merle out of her sad rendition of "Local God" by a band from her planet. Although it was deemed old, outdated, and "lame" by some of her co-workers, she couldn't help but listen to the sounds of the place she'd called home. Maybe it was some way of holding on to a memory of times past. Despite Xiagio and Alxonn's best efforts to immerse her in contemporary music, she clung to her retro CDs like a security blanket. Well, that and a good bottle of any alcoholic beverage she could obtain.

"Yeah, yeah…" The girl replied, talking to non-existent voice "I know. Remember, I'm the one piloting the ship-not you!"

Which was untrue since the ship was on auto-pilot.

It can solve all problems.

She went to take another gulp of the rather large bottle she held in her hand and realized after a couple seconds that it was empty. When it had disappeared was a mystery. She had swore that she had only just opened it up. Why did the alcohol always have to run away from her? It wasn't like she was going to bite it's head off or anything… Swearing, she got up and stumbled out of the bridge and to her secret stash of booze.

My co-workers have no idea that the Ragnarok is probably one of the universe's only time and space traveling wet bar.

This secret stash was Merle's pride and joy.

And I'm willing to bet that it's the best damn wet bar there ever was.

It was hidden in a secret compartment in the closet of her bedroom. Of course, she never really used her bedroom (or her bed for that matter) because she hardly ever slept for long periods of time. She couldn't remember the last time she ever had a good night's sleep and she was starting to think that such a thing didn't exist.

But as she entered her bedroom, she saw something that didn't quite belong…

I think that this was when things started their downwards spiral. Into Hell.

It was a large box with the words "Kronos Haven" and "Fantasy Lover Series" and then some random numbers that she didn't even pay attention to. The girl walked over to it, inspecting it, and then let out a VERY delayed "What the fuck?!" She didn't remember putting THIS here. She wasn't that drunk to forget something like that…or so she thought.

I had forgotten about Xiagio's present…

So, not thinking the way she usually did (which was to over think and strategize everything like a chess game), she decided to open the box.

Had I remembered, I probably would've just sent it right back to her without even checking to see what it was.

What was odd was that the front was situated in such a way that the only way she could open it correctly would to be to stand on top of her bed and cut the packaging tape that held it together.

And like an idiot, I walked into that clever little trap of hers…

Producing her switch blade (which was still illegal-even though it was so outdated that nearly no one bothered to use them anymore), she slit the bonds of the mysterious package free and-

And got attacked by…

Out came a ridiculous amount of bows, ruffles, brightly colored confetti, styrofoam chunks, and the body of a comatose seventeen year old boy.

My first "boyfriend".

Handicapped by the extraordinary amount of booze, Merle didn't move out of the way on time (because of the information delay) and the boy's face met hers. For a second, their lips touched…and it must've been her imagination but something like a connection formed between the two. Just for a second.

It was perhaps the most awkward situation I'd ever been in.

They both landed on the mattress of the bed, the male's full body weight on hers so that she was pinned beneath him. The girl was in shock and she lay there like a broken puppet, the strings cut and laying all around her. The boy shifted and opened his eyes, meeting her eyes that (by now) were as wide as dinner plates.

"Hello, girlfriend." He smiled pleasantly

The information clicked just then and Merle screamed (a scream to wake the dead) and administered to the foreign creature a sizable bitchslap across the face. The guy's expression now matched the girl's and even more so when said girl pushed him off and hightailed it to the other side of the bedroom.

"Wh-what the… What the fuck?!"

"Hmm? What's wrong?" He tilted his head as he asked the question, adding to his "cuteness factor" by ten billionzillion

And oh, he was more than just cute…

The first and foremost thing that was noticeable was his eyes. He had these magnificently green eyes and seemed like endless pools-the color of a leaf when the sun's light penetrates through it. His hair was a waterfall of wavy, raven locks that fell to his shoulders. His skin was bronzed and his face was a tad bit feminine-but he made up for it with his body which was ALL male.

And why would I know it's "all male", you ask? It was "all male" because…

Because he was completely naked.

Shock gave way to embarrassment and anger. She ripped off the top blanket of her bed and shoved it in his hands. "Cover up, Goddamnit!"

"Did I do something-"

"YOU'RE not going to be DOING ANYTHING! You're going to take your ass and get it dressed and then leave!" Merle roared, pushing the guy out the door and slamming it shut at the speed of light.

There was a dead silence and then…

"But I don't have any clothes."

By that time I was just about to go insane.

"Well, where ARE your clothes?!"

"They're inside the box, I think."

Oops! There it goes. Goodbye sanity!

A long pause and then "Fine! Get your clothes and THEN leave!"

She tried not to look as he came in but she had to say, as a female, he was extremely attractive. In fact, it made her jealous. Compared to him, she was just a "Plain Jane". And if one wanted to be rude one could point out that she had always been a Plain Jane and that she didn't need to compare herself to a male model to realize that.

I tried not to look…

That little devil on her shoulder was speaking to her conscious again. It was telling her to look at him. The estrogen inside on her was thrashing itself against the walls of her tight self control to just take one peek at the naked form of this perfect boy from the box.

I tried…

"Don't look. Don't look. Don't look." She repeated over and over in her head

And I failed miserably.

She finally gave in and snuck a peek at him. He just happened to be bent over looking for his clothes which shouldn't have taken this long to find. There wasn't a vast amount of box to search for an outfit. It was then she noticed something around his neck. A bow and a little card that hung from it. There were words scribbled there…but she wasn't close enough to read.

"…What's on your neck?" Merle asked, a little suspicious

He stopped and faced her and she looked away, her face fast turning a bight shade of crimson.

"Oh! This?"

"No, the other thing on your neck. Of course that!"

He frowned a bit and tore off the paper, reading out loud the following words that would send Merle into a raging hissy fit:

Looking back on it, Fate has such good timing that it's bad.

"I thought you might enjoy my present!"

Present…

Xiagio.

Merle put two and two together and…

Because at that moment, the Ragnarok would begin to crash…signaling the start of something that I would've never considered: Love.

XXx

He was now to the point of improvision; singing words that popped into his head. Of course, being the God he was, he could pull this off with ease where as for everyone else it would just send one walking down the broad path of humiliation. Yes, oh so fortunately for him, he'd never once walked down it-except for at this exact moment when he suddenly brainfarted and lost his track of mind. Consequently, he lost his track of words too and his once nimble fingers turned to much, making him strike a sour chord on his lyre…if such a thing was possible.

"Apollo?"

Then again, there was always a first time for everything.

"Ap-"

And then another unexpected event!

At that moment, the sky tore open, releasing a vortex of blinding colors and ear-splitting sound that seemed to rival Zeus's thunderbolt. And even though the golden-haired boy was the living, breathing avatar of the sun's brilliance, and held a powerful and mighty position upon Mt. Olympus, he found himself wincing from the fury of it…which was a very "un-Godly" thing to do. The nymph had somehow fused herself to him and was now screaming her head off. And he would've found this a blessing beings that in a regular situation he could take advantage and play the "superhero" but there was nothing regular about this at all…

It plummeted to Gaia like Heaven's reject, a big, red something that vaguely resembled the monster Tiamat-except that it was made out of metal. Heavy, black smoke emitted from various places as well as tongues of bright flame that formed a visible trail behind it as it fell…right into his sacred orchard grove. Almost half of the laurel and olive trees so important to him were decimated in an instant and the other half very badly damaged and were burning. Apollo looked on in horror as the collective screech of both tree and the nymphs who inhabited them rose to fever pitch, wailing as they breathed their last and became ashes. The demi-goddess beside him, who was holding onto him and that he had come to fancy, never got to say goodbye as she burst into a pillar of fire and disintegrated. His beautiful orchard had now become a hellish disaster with no hint of the beauty it once possessed. Lying in the middle, midst the fiery ruins of peace and tranquility, was the harbinger of catastrophe: the mysterious red, metal monster from the skies… A red, metal monster that he intended to slay.

XXx

The world was flashing bloody red. Somewhere in the distance an alarm rang out. A cold-sounding woman's voice kept repeating words…what were those words? Fatal System Error…that's all she could manage to understand before they became jumbled in the mess of her consciousness. She lay on the ground amid the wreckage of the bridge where she had tried to steer the Ragnarok into a safe landing spot before the whole thing gave out. A warm and sticky substance surrounded her, tainting her clothes with the same color of her ship. But surprisingly, she didn't feel much except for the slightest hint of pain…and even that was fading too. It was like she had separated herself from her body and she could only feel the shadows of the things of the physical world.

Maybe it was better that I was drunk…

A shuffle of feet in the distance. Someone was shaking her.

"Hey! Hey! Wake up!"

The voice was vaguely familiar but she didn't give it much thought. Right now all she wanted to do was drift in this blissful feeling of nothingness forever.

"Wake up, please!"

Whoever it was sure sounded upset. She wondered what was wrong.

Because I probably would've been in a lot of pain if I hadn't been.

"Please…don't die…"

Die? Who was dying? What was wrong? Oh well, it wasn't her problem. Maybe if she waited longer, she'd find out who was dying…she could use some entertainment.

I was lucky…

And then another voice popped up. She strained to hear. The more she stayed in this state of detachment, the more faint everything became.

And now…

Now things were down to a near whisper. Now the familiar voice replied…something…she couldn't make it out. The two of them were discussing something. She tried to open her eyes but her willpower seemed to be lacking and the best she could do was crack them open a little bit. Blurred, the image wasn't very clear but Merle thought she saw someone standing above her. Someone golden and wrapped in brilliant white. It hurt her eyes…the color of the snow. She didn't recognize this person. Who were they?

My luck was about to run out.

That was the last thought she had before she slipped into unconsciousness, the thought hanging on the edge of her mind as she fell into a deep sleep.

XXx

FoxLuvr: Thank you for the compliment. I really didn't know how this would turn out and all. I thought it would be a complete and total flop. Again, sorry for being so late. I don't have steady internet access and I'm also a perfection per say. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Ham337dd: Ha! I try to be funny…but not enough to send me to a mental institution!