Ana
I'm sat in the living room with a book but I'm not reading. I'm hoping that Phoebe is opening up to her Grandmother, telling her worries and her fears, whatever it is she can't feel like telling me. It feels like they've been up there for hours but I can tell by the clock on the fireplace it's been barely fifteen minutes.
I hear them on the stairs and I pretend to read, I don't want Phoebe rolling her eyes at me and calling me Ana Anxiety which she teases me about when Christian is away, whenever he's away I'm a walking ball of anxiety.
I lift my head as the two come into the room. My heart begins to hammer, they look so grave.
"Grace? Phoebe?"
She's crying, my baby girl is sobbing and she rushes to me and throws herself into my chest. Oh my baby girl. It can't be that bad right?
"Hey? Hey Phoebe." She won't look at me, I look to Grace who just shakes her head, I guess it's Phoebe's job to tell me.
"I'm sorry Mommy, so sorry Mommy." She's near hysterical.
"Baby, what are you apologising for? Hey look at me Phoebe Rose." My voice is a little firm but I need her attention. I need her to stop crying and tell me what the hell has happened.
"I'm sorry Mommy." She says looking into my eyes, her eyes are red rimmed, sore from crying so much.
"Tell me!" I demand near desperate, the thoughts going through my head right now are terrifying!
"Mommy I'm pregnant."
My whole world stops spinning at those three words. I look at Grace who nods weakly. My eyes fall closed as Phoebe holds me tighter still sobbing hysterically.
Phoebe. Pregnant. Phoebe. Pregnant. Phoebe. Pregnant.
"Let go of me baby." I say trying to move Phoebe, I need air, I need to get out of this fucking room before I break.
"Mommy!" Phoebe says pulling away, she looks horrified but I can't be there for her for a moment I need the neon signs in my mind to stop flashing brightly so I can think.
"Baby please." I tell her moving her enough that I can get up.
"Ana!" Grace shouts as I hurry out of the room. I make it to the downstairs bathroom before my breakfast comes up. Fuck.
I flush the chain and sit back against the tiles. I can barely breathe. My baby's pregnant? My little fourteen year old daughter?
Christian's going to go fucking thermonuclear.
"Ana?"
"Grace." I say quietly as she comes in, my eyes are closed but I feel her coming in front of me and kneeling down.
"I know it's a bit of a shock…"
"That's an understatement." I mumble making Grace chuckle weakly.
"But Phoebe needs you right now, she's scared you hate her."
"I couldn't hate her. I just need a minute." I say desperate for Grace to understand. "She's fourteen."
"I know. Come on, we should all get some drinks and talk." Grace says tugging me up. I reluctantly let her help me off the floor and quickly wash my mouth out before following her into the living room where Phoebe is curled up in a ball, her shoulders shaking, her sobs muted and muffled from the couch.
"Oh baby." I say sitting beside her and pulling her to me. "It will be ok, we'll figure it out. Shh please don't cry anymore, don't cry."
She cuddles me tight and I feel her sobs subsiding though she's still hiccupping madly. I stroke her back, feel her hair, she's my baby girl.
"Daddy will hate me." She says quietly, I almost think I've imagined her voice but as my eyes meet her Christian Grey duplicated eyes I know she was really saying that.
"Your Father could never hate you PB." I tell her, using her childhood nickname from Teddy to try and placate her.
"He will, he told me I wasn't even allowed to date until I was twenty one!" She replied, squealing almost like her Aunt Mia.
"I know Phoebe, but he won't hate you."
"He'll be furious."
"Yes he will Pheebs, I'm furious too, you shouldn't have had sex but even so I thought you'd be safe and why didn't you come to me?" My anger is showing now and Phoebe is shaking in my arms while Grace sits in the arm chair watching and listening.
"I'm sorry." She whispers.
"It's too late for sorry baby." I reply calmer, I don't want her to lock me out, not when she needs me most.
"What do I do?" She asks desperately.
"Well first I need to ask you who the father is." I tell her and she pulls away from me so violently I almost topple over.
"Phoebe." Grace is on her feet in a flash, blocking Phoebe's escape route. "Answer your mother."
"I can't." She says shaking her head. "Please don't make me."
"Phoebe." I stand slowly and hold my hands up in surrender as she turns to look at me. "Listen to me, if he did it to you without your consent…"
"It wasn't like that!" She screams making both Grace and I flinch.
"Then what was it like Phoebe Rose, tell me!" I yell back, I need answers and I'm going to get them before Christian comes home so I can break this news to him with all the information I had.
"It was a summer romance." Phoebe says looking at her shoes. "It was like love but it wasn't, we knew it was only for the summer."
"Phoebe where the hell did you have the chance to have a summer romance?" I ask angrily, she was working in the summer at Grey's House in the mail room while Teddy did an internship at Grey's Publishing with me. They were given a list of possible summer jobs and they were paid for it, the only money they could have to spend for the entire summer was money they had earned unless it was a family trip, like the week holiday we took to Milan. It was to teach them responsibility and Christian loved the idea because it meant the kids were always safe and under watch.
It couldn't have been the weekend. Phoebe doesn't go anywhere without covert security, she's the only one in her group who knows that Jenkins follows her everywhere including the bathroom sometimes and the one time Phoebe managed to ditch Jenkins Christian spanked her. The only time he ever spanked her because it happened while I was in Texas with an author and when I found out it was my turn to go thermonuclear.
"While I was working at Grey's House." She says quietly, she's withdrawing, I can tell because I know my daughter and she's bowed her head and wrapped her arms around herself.
"Don't shut down on me now Phoebe." I say stepping up to her. "Now sit down and talk to me and Nama." I tell her, firmly enough to let her know she hasn't really got an option but soft enough that I can get some answers from her.
Reluctantly she sits on the couch and I take one arm chair opposite while Grace takes the other. I look at my darling girl and hope and pray we can figure this out.
"Who is he?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why?" I am desperate to understand.
"Because… Daddy will kill him."
"Phoebe, kids fooling around, your Dad won't kill him, he'll probably have words with his parents…"
"Daddy will kill him Mom, he will, if Daddy won't Jason or Luke will."
"Who is he Phoebe? Don't make me ask you again because I will call your father right now and have him come home." I hate having to threaten her but I am at my wits end!
"I can't!" She says so I grab my phone. "No don't! I'll tell you!"
Well I'm glad that worked because I have no fucking idea what the fuck I'm going to tell Christian about our teenage daughter being pregnant.
"Well? I'm waiting."
"Sit down please Mommy." She says quietly and I do as she says, casting a glance towards Grace as I do. Once again I'm terrified about what my daughter is going to tell me.
"He's older."
"How much older?"
"He's thirty two."
My heart has just stopped. My head snaps to Grace and she is pale, holy shit.
"How did you meet him?" I manage to choke out, I need the information.
"At Grey's House, he works for Daddy." She whispers in reply. My hand goes to my heart, she couldn't have told me anything worse. Now I know why she thinks Christian will kill him, a thirty two year old man at Grey's House impregnated our daughter.
"His name."
"Please don't make me Mommy."
"His. Name." I growl letting her know there is no room for argument here.
"Mom…"
"Name Phoebe Rose Grey. Right. Now."
"Ok. Please don't tell Daddy…"
"Name!" I yell, I hate yelling at her but I have no control over my emotions right now, my fourteen year old daughter has not only dropped a bombshell on me that she's pregnant but also the father is a thirty two year old man, he's a fucking paedophile, a child abuser, I'm going to be fucking sick.
"Preston Waller." She replies.
"Go to your room Phoebe."
"Mommy!"
"Now!" I yell and she leaves the room as fast as a lightning bolt.
"Ana." Grace comes over to me and leans down in front of me. I hug her tight, oh my baby girl.
"He abused my daughter and I'm angry at her!" I say as I begin to weep.
"It's ok, it's ok to be mad, she doesn't see at as abuse yet and she might never, you as her Mom will always see it that way. You've been given a lot of news today. You need to take it all in slowly and relax a little." Grace tries to reassure me but I know she's finding this hard too
"I need my husband. I need Christian."
"You need to think first about what you're going to tell him."
"I don't know Grace, how do I tell him his little princess is pregnant?"
"I don't know Ana, that I'm afraid my love is for you to figure out."
"I need to call him." I pick up my phone again and dial his number, he needs to come home now.
"Would you like me to stay till he gets here?" She asks and I nod holding her hand tight.
Hello baby
"Christian?"
Ana, baby what is it?
"I need you to come home."
Why? What's happened? Is it Phoebe? I'm on my way.
"Quickly."
I'm coming baby.
I hang up unable to say anymore and unable to stop my sobs. Grace holds me tight and rocks me gently, oh this woman who is a saint, what the hell would I be doing without her.
"How far along is she?"
"I don't know, the test said more than three weeks." Grace replies honestly.
"I'll need to take her to see Doctor Greene, get the pregnancy confirmed. Then we'll have to decide what to do. Oh what if she wants an abortion? Or what if she wants to keep it? Oh Grace what the hell do I do?"
"I think you need to go upstairs, Christian will be here in twenty minutes and you need to speak with Phoebe before he gets here."
"Of course, yes you're right. I'll go talk to her now." I don't say any more and head for the stairs.
Phoebe
My Mom hates me, Dad's gonna hate me. Oh I made such a mess. Why did she have to ask who the father was? He was just a summer fling, he worked in Grey's House in the accounting office where I worked with him and it just happened. It wasn't love, not really, I was completely besotted with him and I flirted with him!
We only had sex once, the last week of the summer, the last time I ever would work with him. It was sex on a blanket in his office on the floor. There was music playing softly in the background and he was so gentle, caring and he made it special. I will always be one of those lucky girls who had a special experience losing my virginity, the only regret I have is that we didn't use a condom.
I know I told Nama Grace that the condom split but we just didn't have one to hand and I guess we were both stupid enough to think I couldn't get pregnant the first time.
"Phoebe?" Mom's voice hits my ears and I roll from one side of the bed to the other to find my Mom standing in the open door of my bedroom.
"Mommy." I say quietly. I don't want her to hate me anymore.
"We need to talk."
"Are you throwing me out?"
"What?" Mom's eyes widen in horror, her mouth pops open. "PB, why would you think we'd kick you out?"
"You're going to disown me now…"
"No baby don't be silly." She rushes over to the bed and sits down, her hand going straight to my back where she rubs small circles. I can't cry anymore, I think I've ran out of tears. "Daddy's on his way home."
"You called him?" I ask horrified, even if Mom doesn't want to kick me out or disown me Dad will and Mom may fight Dad on it but this is one fight she won't win, one of many.
"I had to Phoebe, I need him here right now." She replies softly, I think she's nearly crying. "What I need to ask is if you've planned what you want to do with the baby?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you want to keep it, give it away, have an abortion?"
"I don't know Mommy." I reply starting to shake.
"Ok, shh, ok Phoebe you don't have to decide right now." She soothes me softly, oh Mommy. I think I've been blessed with the best mother in the world. I can't imagine any of my friend's Mom's acting like this if they dropped the bombshell they were pregnant at fourteen but my Mom is younger than most of them too. "But Daddy is going to have questions baby girl, and you have to be prepared for the fall out. I want you to listen to me when we talk to him ok?" Mommy knows Daddy's going to explode and I know she's scared too, I wish she could tell him without me being there but isn't fair to her. "Now this man, the father, baby what he did was wrong. You're fourteen years old, he's a child molester…"
"Mommy it wasn't like that!" I try to tell her, why won't she understand it wasn't like that?
"Oh don't you dare Phoebe Rose, you are a child, he is a grown man, he shouldn't have touched you."
"But I said it was ok…"
"It doesn't matter." Mom says firmly, she's not going to listen to me on this one. I'm just going to shut up now.
"I'm sorry Mommy."
"Stop apologising Phoebe it's done now." She says and I sit up and hug her tight.
Ana
This is like Christian and Elena and I don't know which is worse. The woman who took a fifteen year old boy and brought him into BDSM or the man who seduced a fourteen year old girl and got her pregnant. My head is a mess. I don't know how Christian is going to react, I'm expecting an explosion but I don't know either way, he might go into shock… which would be best? I don't know.
I hear the front door open and Christian call my name. It's time to face the music. As Phoebe and I head for the stairs I see Grace calming her son down and then his eyes meet mine, he looks so worried, shit maybe this could have waited until he came home from work…
"Ana…" He breathes easier but when his eyes fall on Phoebe I see him tense with worry once more. Oh my darling Fifty he has no idea about the bomb we're about to drop on him.
"Come on we should all sit in the living room." Grace says and from that alone I know she's decided to stay, I'm glad really, I need someone on my side right now while we face off with my husband.
Phoebe won't let go of me, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing at the moment. Is she scared of Christian?
Christian
I sit down in the arm chair my Mom guided me too and look at the three most important women in my life as they sit on the couch, Phoebe is sandwiched between them. She won't even look at me. Why won't my baby girl look at me?
The drive from Grey's House here was a nightmare, Ana didn't give anything away on the phone but I could hear my baby's tears and she sounded so desperate.
"Christian, we've got some news." Her voice reaches my ears and I look at her, she looks so grave. She looks like the weight of the world is on her shoulders and I see Phoebe nestle closer to her mother. At one time I was jealous of the bond Phoebe and Ana had, they're so close. Ana knows all of Phoebe's secrets, but then it took Dad to tell me how close Mia and Mom were over the years to make me realise that we should be lucky our baby girl, my princess, has someone she can go to talk to.
"I need you to stay calm, think rationally and not fly off the handle."
My frown, what the hell is it that they have to tell me that is going to make me fly off the handle. I thought one of them were fucking dying or there had been an accident or something. I come home to find my girls looking like someone had died.
"Phoebe's pregnant."
Well she didn't beat around the bush.
Fuck.
Did she just say what I think she said?
Did my wife just tell me my fourteen year old daughter is pregnant?
She did.
I look from my wife to my sobbing daughter to my mother. This isn't an April's fool's day joke … No.
My world has just fucking crashed and burned. I want to scream shout, but Ana asked me not to fly off the handle. Breathe Grey, breathe. In and out, count to fucking ten.
Shit.
I can't believe this. My wife just told me that my daughter is pregnant. My fourteen year old princess is pregnant.
Ana
It's been five minutes and he's still quiet. I guess he's processing this information. I couldn't work up to it, I just blurted it out. I glance at Grace who is staring intently at Christian, willing him like me to fucking say something already.
The only sound in the room is Phoebe's muffled sobs. Her head is buried in my side and she's clinging to me tightly. Oh my baby girl. I'm mad, furious with her but she's still my daughter and as mad as I am with her I know she's hurting and she's confused and she's lost, all the emotions I went through when I found out I was pregnant with Teddy except I was married, twenty two going on twenty three, and I didn't have an overbearing father.
My husband drops his head into his hands and I can see his back arching further as he takes deep breaths. I need to know what he's thinking. I need to know what's going through his mind. I need him to say something already.
Ten minutes, and still not a word. The longest ten minutes of my life. I look at Grace once again and she looks at me. She looks as worried as I feel and somehow I know that expression is mirrored on my face.
Christian
Now feeling calmer I look up and my eyes meet my wife. She looks worried, she fucking should be.
"How the fuck did this happen?" I growl, my voice actually sounds deadly, shit I really do need to calm down or Ana will shut herself off.
"Christian…" Ana pleads with me, my eyes meet hers and I nod and try to calm down more, every fucking tip Flynn ever gave me working through my mind. I need to be calm. He helped me so much over the years with being a father, especially when Ana and I didn't agree on something such as sleepovers and away trips with school.
"Well we need to get Phoebe booked into a clinic, get the problem sorted then we can deal with this…"
"Daddy." Phoebe gasps and for the first time she looks at me. Oh I can tell by her face she's been crying for hours but now she looks horrified.
"What?" I spit at her, I'm angry with her, I want to take her over my fucking knee and spank her until she can't sit down for a week and then maybe I'll be able to speak with her. I turn away from my daughter, I can't look at her, I'm disgusted.
"I don't want an abortion." She says and I snap my head to look at her again. "Abortion is murder." She says, and there's my naïve daughter rearing her head. This is why she has to have an abortion, she's a fucking child! A baby... my baby.
"What you planning on keeping it?"
"There are other options Christian, it should be Phoebe's choice." Ana says calmly, how the fuck is she so calm?
"No there fucking aren't Ana, she's getting rid of that…. Thing inside of her and she's going to go back to school and get on with her life." I tell her firmly, this is one fucking argument that she's not going to win.
"Phoebe why don't you come upstairs with me?" Grace offers, I look at my Mother who looks like just like herself, why hasn't she got more to say on this.
Ana stares me down while Mom and Phoebe leave, I can't stop thinking about the fact that my baby is fucking pregnant. I need to know who the father is, I'm going to castrate that bastard and then I'm getting my daughter a fucking chastity belt that I'll personally put on her every morning and remove every fucking night.
"It's Phoebe's body." Ana's voice pulls me from the thoughts of the chastity belt I was planning on getting custom made for Phoebe.
"She's fourteen." I counter.
"What's done is done Christian, our fourteen year old daughter is pregnant and she doesn't want an abortion, the decision is hers to make."
"She's a fucking minor and we're her parents." I counter my tone rising with my anger. Ana and the kids are the only one who can make me feel absolute fury in this way, and she fucking well knows that. "First things first I need to fire Jenkins, how the fuck did Phoebe even manage to get alone with a boy to fucking have sex is beyond me." I say angrily.
"You can't fire Jenkins." Ana counters, I'm about to reply when her hand stops me. "Where is the one place in the world other than the house where Phoebe doesn't have to have security with her every step?"
I look confused, Jenkins even goes to school with Phoebe and hangs around to watch her go from class to class and is nearby during lunch… Phoebe doesn't go anywhere without Jenkins.
"Grey's House." Ana says and my eyes widen and my mouth falls open. "Phoebe got pregnant when she was working in Grey's House."
I'm speechless. How the fuck does she know all this? Is she certain?
"The father of Phoebe's baby is Preston Waller, a thirty two year old man."
"He works in accounting, he's the guy I had looking after Phoebe and teaching her…" I splutter, I'm somewhere between confused and angry and fucking furious. "I'll deal with him… I'll fucking kill him after Phoebe has a fucking abortion." I say firmly.
"That, is Phoebe's choice!" Ana yells jumping to her feet. "You have to fucking realise that you don't get a say in what happens to that child, our grandchild if it hasn't crossed your fucking mind!"
"Fuck Ana she's fourteen a child would ruin her fucking life!" I also jump to my feet and get right into Ana's face, she has to fucking understand!
"She hasn't decided what she wants to do yet Christian, there's adoption!"
"We can't possibly allow an adoption to happen here Ana we're the fucking Grey's!" I yell at her, does she know what an adoption would do to this family. "And the scandal this is going to fucking cause!"
"Oh yes you just worry about how you're going to clean the mess up when it gets to the press that Tycoon Grey's baby is pregnant while our daughter's life is about to change!"
"You don't get it Ana!" I scream at her. "Look at my Mother, she ended up a teenage fucking Mom and I ended up abused and forgotten."
"Phoebe is not your crack whore birth mother!" Ana screams right back at me, she's red faced and looks as furious as I feel. That's the first time Ana has ever referred to my birth mother as a crack whore, she always calls her Ella or my Birth Mother never a crack whore, Ana has even defended Ella in the past.
"It's in her fucking blood!" I scream back. "She's going to end up just like her, a drug addict and a fucking prostitute."
"That is enough! If you don't back up you can get out!" Ana screams.
I take a step back in shock, has Ana just threatened to kick me out? This is my fucking house… well actually it's in both our names… I paid for it… shit I'm being pathetic now.
"It is Phoebe's choice and if you can't accept that, if you can't get your head out of a fucking hole to support our daughter and be there for her you can leave. Now." Her voice is low, angry, threatening, shit I've never seen Ana like this… ever.
I take one last look at my wife and I walk out.
Ana
The door slams shuts behind my husband and my tears come. I can't stop them and I collapse to my knees in a complete mess. I can't believe this. Phoebe's pregnant, Christian's gone. Our entire world has been turned upside down in one fucking small movement.
I cry long and hard. This is such a fucking mess and I don't know where to begin dealing with it. I'm firm in believing that an abortion has to be Phoebe's choice, she'd hate us forever if we made her do it and yes I'm a believer that abortion is murder but a part of me would wish Phoebe wanted one, it would be so much easier, we could get over this mess far quicker if we got rid of the baby but if Phoebe doesn't want that, then she doesn't want that and I won't let that happen.
"Mommy." I look up from my place on the floor and see Phoebe walking in. "Where did Daddy go?"
"I told him to leave. I don't know where he's gone."
"Why?" Phoebe gasps, I can't let her feel guilty.
"Your Dad needs to think things through baby." I say getting to my feet.
"Mom." She says quietly.
"Yeah?"
"I want an abortion."
I look at my daughter. Did she really just say that? Did she really just say she wanted an abortion? Why?
"Phoebe sit down." I say taking a seat on the couch, she comes to sit beside me and begins to wring her hands in her lap. "If you want an abortion then I will support you, you know that, but it has to be what you want. Don't do it because you think it's what I want or what your Dad wants because years from now, you'll hate us for it."
"I can't have Daddy hate me." She says her eyes meeting mine, she looks like she's going to cry.
"He doesn't hate you Phoebe, he's just really messed up and confused, we dropped one hell of a bombshell on him and your Dad doesn't know how to deal with that. I want to tell you a story."
Christian and I agreed years ago that the kids couldn't find out about his childhood before the Grey's until Teddy was eighteen but I think now is the appropriate time for Phoebe to find out, she's in such a situation that if she knew her father's past she would have a better understanding of why Christian's reacted badly.
"You know Daddy was adopted by Nama Grace and Grandpa Carrick." I start and Phoebe looks at me with rapt attention, I know this is something she's thought about, she's even asked about it but the topic is always avoided. "Well your Father's birth mother was a teenager when she had your father, she was all alone in the world and a Mom and she somehow ended up on drugs and being a prostitute to earn money for drugs. She ended up overdosing and she died, your Dad had a really bad life before he was adopted and I think Daddy is scared that you'll be like his Mom, a teenager with a baby and alone in the big world."
"Will he kick me out if I don't have an abortion?" She asks.
"I won't let him do that Phoebe, ok? I promise you there is no chance that. I am angry with you, furious, even more angry with the sick bastard who got you pregnant but you are still my daughter and I love you and I will support whatever decision you make. You need to think long and hard about what happens next. When you've decided I'll be there for you. We'll figure it out together ok?"
"I love you Mom." She wraps me up tight in a hug.
"I love you too PB."