A Super-Glued Heart

Chapter 1- The Trick is to Keep Breathing

AN: Thanks to everyone that has already alerted and favorite, and even reviewed this story! I'm pretty excited about this story! I don't have a specific schedule for updating, but I can promise that I will update as often as I can.

I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter and is ready for a for twists and turns to come!

You know that age old saying, "time flies by when you're having fun?" Well, you could have fooled me. I've had no fun whatsoever, yet time just keeps passing me by. As every day passes me, I become more and more withdrawn; depressed by the notion that life is just going on without me. Depressed by the knowledge that life is still out there while I feel like nothing exists. I feel lost. I sit in my old childhood room, rocking myself back and forth in the rocking chair that has been in here since birth, just staring out my bay window. Nothing in particular sparks my interest. I just stare; boredom doesn't settle in, nothing settles in. I just am. Hours mesh into days which turn into weeks and eventually months. But to me, it feels like just yesterday I was torn in two.

It amazing how you can function with a broken heart. Well, I suppose I'm using the word function quite loosely. I'm surprised I can still breathe, move or even, on the rare occasion, shower. The ache in my chest hasn't dulled and the nausea has yet to subside. All my clothes hang off me now and I think I'll forever be sporting bags underneath my eyes. A broken heart creates such physical limitations. I barely feel like I can drag my ass out of bed each day. I feel as though part of me has died; the part of me that pushes me through each day.

I was a wreck.

So, that's why I called Alice. What else was I supposed to do? I was at the end of my rope—my dad, Charlie, has decided he isn't going to let me just lay around the house anymore, "wasting my life away." He all but flat out told me that if I didn't try to change things, he would force me to see someone. He told me this wasn't normal behavior and I needed to start living again. I was broken, alone and I didn't know if I wanted to live again. But, I sure as hell didn't want to share my sob stories with some shrink who will try to make sense out of a situation that, just simply, doesn't make sense.

She was the one person I had left to piece me back together.

Alice and I had known each other since we were five. That was when I moved to Forks, Washington. Charlie had always lived here and during one of my mom's cross-country trips, she met him, they fell in love and had me. But just as quickly as they fell in love, they fell out of it. I moved with my mom when I was just a baby. When I was five, my mom had a nervous breakdown—had to be institutionalized and everything—thus the reason my dad was so worried about my present situation; he didn't want me to end up like her. So, I was sent to live with my dad.

Charlie wasn't exactly knowledgeable on what to do with a five year old little girl. Eternal bachelordom would do that to a man. Bless his heart; I know that he tried his best. Dolls were thrown my way and he even learned how to braid. But something was missing, something that a man just couldn't give a little girl that just lost her mother, for all intensive purposes. My whole life had been uprooted and everything I knew was suddenly gone. Charlie was at a loss at what to do, and in way over his head. When all else had failed, and he knew he had nothing else to try, he walked down to the block to the Cullen's.

Esme took me right under her wing and introduced me to her daughter, Alice. She might have been a bit too hyper and girlie for my personality—even at the young age of five, I was quite set in my ways—but, opposites attract. We were inseparable.

The Cullen's were a rich family that was pieced together. Esme and Carlisle couldn't have children of their own. Alice and her twin brother Emmett were adopted when they were babies, and neither of them ever looked at Esme and Carlisle as anything but their true parents. Rosalie and Jasper were adopted later on. Carlisle was the chief of staff at Forks hospital; he was a world renowned doctor. Rose, Jasper and their parents were in a horrific car accident. Despite the doctor's best efforts, their parents' injuries were too much to overcome and Rose and Jasper had become orphans in a matter of hours. Carlisle felt so terrible for the two children, who were only seven at the time, he swooped in and offered to take them in. They immediately fell right into place with Alice and Emmett, and the rest was history.

I loved every member of the Cullen clan for their each unique, individual personality. Emmett was this huge teddy bear, infamously known for his bone-crushing hugs. Rose had a very unique personality; she took a while to warm up to but once she did, she would do absolutely anything for you. Jasper was a bit on the quiet side, which was a good thing with Alice in the house, but he always had a way of diffusing situations, no matter how tense. Believe me that was necessary when you had four children of the same age living under one roof.

Then, there was Alice. Like I said, I love them all, but Alice had a special place in my heart. I shared everything with her and she was the first person I befriended in Forks. She was there as I dealt with losing my mother and acclimating to my father. We bonded like sisters.

Esme treated us both the same and took me into her arms, acting like the mother I so desperately missed. She did all the things with Alice and I any mother would do. I remembered I had a girl-scouts Mommy and Me event; Esme dropped everything to come with me. She wouldn't dream of me having to go to that alone, or missing it all together.

There was nobody in the world that could bring me through this time other than Alice. Despite the fact that we grew apart, she still came running.

"Hey, Allie," I said as I opened the door to her.

She sprung her small-framed body into my arms, squeezing me with more force you'd think a girl of her stature could have. "Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry. I know that I haven't always been nice about him, but I never wanted this to happen. I can't believe this even happened? When did it happen? Why? Is there someone else? Oh my God, did he leave you because you're pregnant?"

"Alice, take a breath. One question at a time."

"I'm sorry; I'm honestly just so shocked. Rose wanted to come along but I told her that I think I should see you first and then she could swing by another day, if you wanted to see her of course."

"Of course, I'd want to see her. It's just, everything is so complicated and I'm so embarrassed at my inability to cope with this. I feel so weak and pathetic," I admitted.

She grabbed my hands and pulled me onto the couch. Her arm immediately was slung over my shoulders and she was pulling me into her. I sighed into the crook of her neck and the waterworks were mere seconds away at this point. She ran her fingers through my hair, much like Esme used to do when I was little.

"You're not weak or pathetic, Bella. You're suffering from a broken heart. It's hard, and we, as your family, understand. Now, spill! What happened?" she urged.

Oh, where to begin?

Jacob Black. Childhood acquaintance, turned best friend, turned fiancée and finally, turned ex. Jake's dad, Billy, was an old time friend of my dad's; they used to go fishing down by the reservation where Jake and his father lived. I got thrown together with Jake's sisters, Rebecca and Rachel. But, they happened to be twins, and had a bit too much of the twin-thing going on. In other words, I was the strange girl who liked to play sports rather than play with dolls. That's when I noticed Jake tinkering in motor oil and metal, and thought he may be better company.

I watched as Jake fixed cars and motorcycles and grew through awkward stages of wet dreams and acne into a handsome, quite buff man.

Through the years, my contact with him shifted due to the distance in our homes and our school schedules. When college rolled around, Jake wanted to experience life away from the reservation and his family. We both decided we wanted to attend UDub, and we both got in. Alice, Emmett, Rose and Jasper all got in as well, and we ended up sharing rent on an off-campus house. Through nights of partying and triple dates, it just seemed to make sense that Jake and I take our relationship to the next level. I trusted him, we already did everything together and I sure as hell was attracted to him; it just seemed to make sense. We were always paired off together anyways; why not just go the extra mile.

"Everything just seemed so perfect, Al. I truly thought that Jake was the one. It always seemed to make sense to me that we would be together. As college ended, you saw what started to happen. I just never saw it growing so far gone…"

Through the end of college, Jake started a transition. He became more secluded and controlling of my life. He started to want me only to leave the house if he did, I wasn't supposed to talk to other guys and he didn't even want us to hang out with Alice and the rest of the gang. By the time college ended and we graduated, Jake announced that he was moving Chicago to further his career. He wanted to be a lawyer and said that Washington wasn't the place for him to blossom. When he asked me to go with him, I was hesitant. Washington was all I really knew, my friends were here, my dad and the Cullen's were here; I didn't know how to leave them. That was until he popped the question. I got so caught up in the bluster of love; I said the hell to everything else. I thought that Jake was worth it. And I thought that if they were my true friends, they would all understand and everything would just work itself out.

The move was actually quite simple and I was surprised by the fact that everyone gave us their blessing. Everyone thought it was a good thing. So, I believed it too.

Jake spent a lot of nights away, trying to make it big in the fancy law firm he got a job in. When he was home, he was still working. I got a job at the local hospital as a kindergarten teacher. We spent a lot of time in our own separate worlds.

The major problem was, his revolved around work, booze and, as it turns out, other women. My days, due to his wishes and not wanting upset him and cause his temper to flare, stayed home. I cleaned, made dinners that went uneaten and made sure that Jake had the perfect home to come home to. He would check my phone and email to make sure I wasn't babbling about what life was like there. For some reason, I stuck around through the bullshit and nonsense.

My end was reached when I found out two months ago that I was pregnant. I wasn't sure what to think. I mean, I knew it was possible. Jake made sure we were still intimate, telling me it was one of a wife's duties and if I planned on being his wife, I should start acting like one. I just wasn't sure if I could handle having a baby, what his or her life would be like in this environment. But mostly importantly, I had no idea how Jake would take it.

"When I told him I was pregnant, he lost it. He just completely let loose on me and throwing things at me that I couldn't imagine. He started to tell me that I was trapping him because I knew that he was cheating on me, which I didn't. I mean, I thought it was probably happening, but I didn't know for sure. I guess a lot of it was denial.

"He told me to end it, terminate it immediately. I was floored. I almost didn't know how to react, I was speechless. Jake just kept going on and on, talking about how he wasn't raising a child or paying for it. Telling me that I already took enough money out of his paycheck. I sat there and took, just listening to and letting it build up, until I couldn't take it anymore.

"I screamed that I was keeping it. I told him that I wasn't ending a life. He tried to shake some sense into me, but I didn't budge. I wouldn't. He could do what he wanted to me and say what he wanted to me or about me, but not when it came to this innocent life. This baby didn't do anything. I wasn't going to let our mistakes and craziness ruin what could have been a great thing.

"That was it for him. He threw my stuff out onto the lawn, threw a few hundred dollar bills at my feet and told me to go cry myself home. I had nothing holding me to Chicago if it wasn't Jake. So, I decided to just cut my loses and come home. As much as I hated it, I knew it was over and there was no coming back from that."

I cried hysterically while waiting for a cab, getting a plane ticket and the entire flight home. My father picked me up from the airport and I admitted everything. I really thought for a minute that he was about to take a flight back to Chicago just to kick Jake's ass. I wouldn't have blamed him, or stopped him for that matter.

I been in denial since I got home about being alone and pregnant. I just stayed in my room, barely eating, or even moving. Nothing seemed to matter to me. In my eyes, I lost everything I had the moment Jake ended it. I had spent so long building my life up with him and to have it all torn away from me was more than I could handle. Not to mention, I was totally shocked by the harshness of his transition.

I knew that Jake had changed, it was obvious. I just wasn't aware of the extent. I truly thought that when push came to shove, he would turn back around and realize what he had in front of him. I thought that he would hear I was pregnant and take responsibility. Remember how much he loved me and how much a baby could enrich our lives, stop working so late and be there, for me and for the baby. Every thought I had about Jake was wrong. It was tough to admit to myself.

At Alice's urging, by the time I was done telling her my story, I was on my way to the hospital. She reminded me how important it was to keep healthy during pregnancy and that I should go to the doctor to get prenatal vitamins, weighed and all that good stuff. I was probably almost four months at this point. I had a tiny bump that could be seen under tight clothes or if I lifted my shirt up to bare my stomach.

Carlisle was going to take care of me and Alice promised not to leave my side during the entire exam. I sat, dangling my feet off the edge of the gurney, clad in the annoying paper gown and clutching Alice's hand.

"Bella, it has been too long my dear. How are you?" he said, as he came closer to bring me into an embrace.

"I'm surviving," I said, honestly.

"I guess that's better than the alternative. Alice, here, tells me that you are expecting. I know that the timing may not be the greatest but, I promise you, this is a blessing. This baby will enrich your life more than you can even realize at this moment."

I instinctively clutched my stomach, soothingly rubbing circles over my slightly swollen stomach. Carlisle smiled adoringly at my gesture.

"Let's get started, shall we?"

I got all the routine tests, pricked and probed, weighed and questioned. I was underweight for being four and a half months; apparently I was due at the end of March, just in time to trek through the snow being fully pregnant. I needed to get started on taking my vitamins.

"Now, have you felt any movements?" Carlisle asked me.

"No, should I have?" I started to panic. It all started to click that I was really pregnant, and not just a few weeks—I was into my second trimester already. Was I supposed to have felt the baby kick yet? Did I already screw something up because I haven't been taking care of myself?

"Not necessarily. This is your first child. Most first-time moms don't experience movements until anywhere between where you're at now and twenty weeks. You might have already experienced it and not now. You could have written it off as gas; at this stage, it will just feel like flutters," he explained and I let out a breath I barely registered that I was holding in.

Carlisle warned me before squirting a cool gel on my stomach. He placed the wand on my stomach and began to apply pressure and slide it across my abdomen. A loud whooshing filled the room and suddenly my eyes were glued to the screen. I was amazed that I could make anything out of the grey mesh. But there, right in front of my eyes, was a tiny baby. He or She was already posing. I could see an arm and the head and the body. My eyes welled with pride and love seeing my tiny peanut.

"Oh my God, Bella. There she is!" Alice exclaimed.

"You can't tell gender yet, sweetheart," Carlisle added.

"I know. I just think that it's a girl. Don't you, Bella?" Alice questioned.

I looked at the screen and then down at my stomach; I had no idea what I thought the baby's gender was. "I don't know, Allie. I haven't thought much about it, I just want her, or him, to be happy and healthy. Maybe I'll get a hunch once I feel the baby move."

"That's perfectly normal, Bella. Much like you're health and the baby. You will need to gain some more weight though; you are at the very bottom of the weight curve. In general, I'd like you to gain about twenty-five pounds throughout the whole pregnancy. In the next few weeks, I'd like to see you gain about four or five pounds to catch up a bit. Do you have any questions for me?" Carlisle asked. I shook my head no as Alice assisted me in wiping the goo off my abdomen. "Well, alright. Take those vitamins, eat healthy and drink plenty of water. Don't forget to rest too! If you need anything, you know where to find me," he continued, and cupped my cheek with his hand. "It was great to see you. I hope to see more of you now that you're back. Congratulations," he finished, kissing Alice and I both on the head before leaving.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Alice asked as I buttoned my jeans and fixed my shirt back over them.

"Yeah. It's just, this is really happening," I explained, soothingly caressing my baby bump. "I'm just happy that everything is alright."

"I'm so excited! This is going to be the most spoiled child in the world! Between you, Rose, my mother and I, this kid will have everything in the world. Now there are a few things we need to discuss. First, I can't wait to take you shopping! You know, maternity clothes can be quite fashion-forward nowadays, so don't worry about looking like a frump. You will be the most stylish mom-to-be! Next, are planning on knowing the sex of the baby? Because we only have four and a half months to decorate a nursery! If you want to be surprised, I guess we could go with a gender neutral color, like yellow. I never saw green as very gender neutral, if you ask me. God! We're going to need so much stuff!" Alice said, surprisingly all in one breath full.

God, I missed my best friend.

After a much needed trip to fast food heaven, Alice brought me over to her house to see her family. Esme cried and held onto me for about a half hour. No wonder where Alice gets it from! Rose pretended to be mad for about, oh, five seconds before hugging me and offer to kick Jake's ass for me. I told her that my father and she could do it together. Jasper hadn't changed a bit and offered to help me with anything. And Emmett, the big brother I never had, he gave me a modified bear hug. He was scared of crushing "the little dude."

It finally felt like I was home. The ache in my chest dulled and the pit in my stomach become less irritable. How could I have ever left these people?

"Does asswad even know that you're carrying his baby?" Rose questioned. She determined she heard his name enough to last her a lifetime and has taken up referring to Jake as asswad. I had no objections; I felt it was quite fitting.

"Unfortunately, yes. That was the last straw for me, Rose. He could what he wanted to me. But, to my baby? I wouldn't get rid of this baby for anything. He wasn't going to take that away from me, too."

"I hate to bring this up, but do you think he'll ever try to take the baby from you?" Esme asked.

"I already talked to my dad about this, because he was worried too. He's trying to draw up an order of protection for me and the baby but he's not sure it will stick. Jake is a lawyer, after all. A rich lawyer, with powerful connections. I don't know how I'll ever compete with that," I said meekly

"Don't you worry about money or connections, because have plenty of both. We will not let him take this baby, or anything else from you. He will be the one paying to you, I can promise you that. I'll have Carlisle start talking to our lawyer, Mr. Jenks, about drawing up some papers for child support and other necessary things. You don't need the stress of worrying about it, dear," Esme sweetly offered.

"I couldn't…." I started to say but Esme quickly clicked her tongue to stop me.

"Nonsense. You are like a daughter to me and I will not sit back and wait for that… shmuck, to make the first move. I protect my family," she told me, wrapping her motherly arms around my shoulder.

"You're not in this alone, Bells," Emmett added.

I tried my best to smile sincerely, but I doubt I could convince anyone I was happy.

Esme excused herself to begin dinner, to which I was staying for—I had no choice in the matter. It was just the original gang back together again. I had to open up with them because if I couldn't do it with them, I wouldn't be able to do it with anyone.

"Maybe your mom and my dad don't need any papers drawn up at all," I started to say, having everyone's eyes suspiciously watch me as I continued. "I think Jake was just really having a bad day. Work had been rough for him and I shocked him with my announcement. Maybe he just needed some time. I was thinking of calling him…"

All at once, their bodies were closing in on mine and on my cell phone. Rose was the one to take it and slam it against the wall.

"You are not calling him, Bella," she told me.

"Why not?" I asked as tears started to well in the corner of my eyes.

"Bella, I'm going to do this because I love you and you deserve better. How many times has he tried to call you?" she questioned. My head hung low and I stared at the floor, my silence a loud enough answer. "Text? Email? Anything?" she pushed. My continued silence said everything she needed to hear. "If you, or this baby, meant a damn thing to him, he would have sent something. He's said and done everything he had to the day he threw you out on the lawn," she finished and I couldn't hold it in any longer.

The tears that had been bundled up inside me were released. Everything I had bottled up inside for the past few weeks came pouring out through my eyes and trembles. I sobbed, shaking uncontrollably as the four of them tried desperately to console me. I heard Alice scold Rose for being so harsh and Rose apologize but it wasn't her fault. For once, someone had actually been honest with me and told me the truth. The truth broke the damn.

Air was getting harder to breathe in. My chest was getting tighter and I felt as though someone was stepping on my chest. I began to choke, trying to get any air at all into my lungs but it barely did anything. I wrapped my arms around my chest, as if I would literally fall into pieces if I let go as I gasped for air.

Then the blackness came…

When I came through, I was totally unaware of where I was. All I knew was that I felt something cool against my forehead. Fingers were weaving through my hair and a soft hum was calming my breathing.

It was Esme. I was in the spare bedroom at their house, the room I had often occupied over the many times I slept over here. She smiled warmly as I opened my eyes.

"You gave us quite a scare there, dear. How are you feeling?"

"What happened?" I asked.

"Carlisle thinks you had a panic attack and the lack of oxygen caused you to pass out. You seem to perfectly fine though. You and the baby," she assured me.

I smiled and brought my hand to my stomach, which was something I just seemed to be doing all the time now, half the time without even realizing it.

"You know, it's going to be okay. I know right now everything seems to be crazy and like nothing will ever be okay. I promise you, it will be. When you least expect it, love and happiness will find you. You are an astounding young woman and greatness is bound to make its way to you."

"Thank you, Esme. For everything, you've always been so kind to me," I told her.

She caressed my cheek gently and smiled sweetly at me. She motioned to the dinner that she brought up for me and instructed me to get so much needed rest. I nodded at her and smelled the rich aroma coming from her food. Esme was always such a fantastic cook; I missed these home cooked meals.

The next morning, I woke up to a tiny, black haired figure on one side of me and a statuesque blonde on the other side of me. They were ambushing me for something, I was sure.

"What do I need to do?"

"Well, you don't need to do anything technically. Rose and I, I'm sure, can handle it all. Although, I suppose that you wouldn't happy with us making all the decisions, but we probably do know best. We would just need…"

Rose's hand slapped over Alice's mouth. "Alice, just tell her we're taking her shopping."

"We're taking you shopping," she said behind Rose's hand.

"I don't know you guys…" and this time my mouth was slapped shut by Rose's hand.

"Now, you're supposed to say, okay guys, let's go!" Rose instructed me.

"Rose…"

"Don't make me drag your pregnant ass out of bed, Bella. Now, we will leave to let you get dressed. But you better be ready in ten minutes or else we come in and get you ready. Okay?"

I reluctantly nodded my head and swung my legs off the bed to go get ready for a day of being thrusted into dressing rooms with armfuls of clothes. Shopping with the Cullen girls was always an adventure.

I was surprised with the gentle experience this shopping trip was. I didn't have to try many things on; once they got my size, they simply picked and swiped. I tried to insist on giving them money but they wouldn't hear it. They told me that this was my coming home present and a present to their little niece of nephew. I don't understand what my appearance had to do with the baby, but my bank account wasn't exactly arguing.

I had bags full of new jeans, shirts and even some dresses. I had to get that annoying maternity band that I could add to my jeans I already had if I wanted to. They wanted to go into a baby store to start looking but, to be honest, I couldn't handle it.

I loved the bundle of joy that was growing inside me right now. I wouldn't change a single thing. But, thinking about the baby and shopping without Jake just reminded me of the absence of him. It was a constant reminder of the void my chest felt. He wouldn't be around for anything. No matter how much support these girls gave me, no matter how much support my dad, Esme and Carlisle would undoubtedly give me, I'd still be alone. I would be doing this on my own and the thought of being a single mother scared the hell out of me. I wasn't ready to face the world I was about to be pushed into.

We sat down in the food court with our salads and my cinnamon roll, since pregnancy cravings have started to hit me like a truck overnight. Rose and Alice kept sharing glances between each and me. I knew that something was up and that there was perhaps an alternative motive for bringing me shopping today.

"What is going on you two? Whatever it is, just spill it already!"

"What do mean?" Alice innocently stated.

"Why did you guys drag me out here today?" I asked.

"You needed clothes, obviously. Look at all the bags of stuff you needed. We couldn't allow you to do this on your own. Lord only knows what you would come back with," Rose answered.

"There's something else, and I know it. You both having been acting strange all day and exchanging looks. Now, what is going on?" I demanded of them.

They exchanged looks one last time before it was Alice that finally spoke. "We both know how much you're going through. We both can appreciate the difficult situation that you have been dealt and we always have your best interest at heart. With that being said…." she paused to steal one last glance at Rose, who nodded her head for Alice to continue. "We have a favor to ask."

AN: So, there you have it!

Next chapter, you will all find out what this favor is that the girls are asking of Bella.

It's a doozy!

Thanks for all the views and alerts! I appreciate every single one; they truly keep me writing!

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