After a long pause, I have finally updated this story, 'cause of my one reviewer. Thorinella, thanks for that review - you have your reward in the story:)
-------------------------
An excited alien opened a package that she had received that day. It was her long-awaited 'Advanced Beginner's Guide to Earth's Customs' that had been ordered weeks ago.
After her good friend Thorinella had recommended The Beginner's Guide to Earth's Customs, she absolutely had to get The Advanced Beginner's Guide as well.
She eagerly started reading.
---
THE ADVANCED BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO EARTH'S CUSTOMS
As promised in the last Guide, we will go into further detail about the points already made, as well as looking at new things.
1. Meals:
A) Eating is not only necessary to live, but is also the main time of conversation. It is natural to talk about the small things ("smalltalk") while enjoying food.
B) To acquire this food, one must obtain a 'job' in order to get the 'money' to purchase said food. Both jobs and money will be discussed soon.
2. Time savers:
A) Most time savers cost more 'money' than the time-consuming ways will. Some businesses advertise that they have the lowest prices around, but hey, we'll get to loopholes later as well.
B) A thing to know about time savers - they may be convenient now, but there will be consequences later on. Fast food amounts to fast fat. Drive-thru amounts to laziness. Pizza delivery amounts to having to pay a tip.
3. Wight gain:
A) Simply put, weight is how heavy you are and, you guessed it, the heavier the wider. Some people are offended by even the thought of becoming fat. The most convenient ways to deal with this is plastic surgery, but for the poorer people there is exercise, which not many overweight people are fond of.
4. Money:
A) This is our planet's world-wide name for currency. There are different way of expressing it - dollars, euros, Visa - but it all ends up the same way. You either have lots or owe lots.
B) I am aware that you probably know all about money, since it is what you used to pay for this book, but that didn't stop me from explaining anyway, did it? That's called dedication to the readers. Since I love your money that much.
5. Locations:
A) The Earth is divided into many groups of land called countries. Most have their own culture, government, language and flag. Each country is divided into smaller groups known sometimes as states, or provinces, or even territories. These sub-sections are then divided into even smaller groups as cities, towns, villages, etc. All very exciting, I assure you.
B) The greatest country of all is the United States of America, as many people would tell you, but those Canadians think they're just so great. Heh, they don't have a Declaration of Independance, now, do they?
C) Finally, in relation to countries, there are the all-important vacations. When one travels away from their home to enjoy time away from the hassles of life, they sometimes leave the country or the state, sometimes just their town. But wherever they go they unfortunately cannot escape taxes.
6. Jobs:
A) For the final point of this guide, we will discuss jobs. These are what you could call tasks, which you are given money to complete, and usually you get a day or so off once in a while, as well as regular vacations.
B) The most disliked aspect of jobs is often the 'boss'. This is the man or woman who pays you and tells you what to do. Sometimes the art of 'sucking up' is necessary to achieve more money.
That is the end of The Advanced Beginner's Guide to Earth's Customs. If you are further interested in the ways of Earth, call 1-800-WELCOME to order your copy of The Beginning Novice's Guide to Earth's Customs. The first 15 to order will receive a bonus bobble head figurine which came with a genuine drive-thru meal, at hardly any extra cost! Call now!
---
The alien jumped up immediately after finishing and ran to the phone, ordering the next guide. She hoped she would get the bonus bobble head... whatever it is. Imagine! An authentic drive-thru meal accessory!
-------------------------
Wasn't that great? I'm starting to really like this series.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, that remark about the US was in Dexter's point of view. I happen to be a proud Canadian, eh? Actually I never use 'eh' in a sentence. But I know people who do. Yup. Done wasting time now.