Chapter 2
Bella stomped down the stairs in her Birkenstocks. How dare Edward call her a lesbian; everyone knew you couldn't be a lesbian if you had a boyfriend! Some people were just stupid, she guessed. As her mother always said, "The only thing you can do about stupid people is kill them or move to Canada," and she most certainly did not want to walk around saying 'eh' all the time. That was never cute.
When she answered the door, it was Alice's manic-pixie face that greeted her. "Where the hell are Angela and Jessica?" Bella said in her calmest voice.
"They're in my stomach… I mean…" Alice and Bella shared a soulful look, "Vermont".
"Oh, right, Vermont, I forgot," Bella totes understood what the fuck was going on.
"I thought you might like to go to… the movies. With me," Alice's eyelashes were fluttering wildly and her whole body screamed, "If you play your cards right you are totes getting some of this pussy."
"YES! I mean, yes," Bella's man-palms were sweaty and shaky and her whole body was just generally freaking out. This was going to be the best Night EVER!
Later, Bella and Alice sat in the movie theater. Alice had a super-jumbo-popcorn sitting on her itty-bitty lap, and she and Bella were sharing a Coke©. Bella was into the awesome-sauce movie playing in front of her, but even Katherine Heigl couldn't distract her from the way Alice kept stretching and pressing her breasts out. That, of course, meant she wanted Bella, so she decided to make her move.
Bella gave the biggest yawn she could manage. Her left hand made the slow descent to the back of Alice's seat. The entire time, Bella was a sweaty, gross mess who looked like she'd been run over a few times. Seriously, Bella and nerves did not mix. Like, this girl should reconsider her career as a firefighter because that kind of stress would make Bella a forever-quivering ball of sweaty armpits and cold showers.
After all that, Alice didn't really seem to notice the arm. Admittedly, the all-encompassing breasts of Katherine Heigl could have been the case, but Bella had to make sure. When Alice put her hand in the popcorn bowl, Bella lowered the Coke© from her hand and slowly followed suit. Soon, their hands were right next to each other. Bella could feel the heat of the moment down to her toe-hairs.
Some philosophers have argued that the pinky is the most sensitive finger. Well, I don't know about Emmanuel Kant, but Bella would certainly agree. In the popcorn-y seas of butter, Bella's pinky finger touched Alice's. It was like a charge was sent through them both. Their eyes snapped up and they shared a lusty look filled with the promise of SEX!
"Oh, Alice!"
"Oh, Bella!"
"Oh, ALICE!"
"Oh, BELLA!"
"OH, ALICE!"
"OH, BELLA!"
They kind of flew at each other once they figured out neither would win this impromptu battle of wills. One could not spend too much time thinking of Dominance-Wars when SEX was on the table. Or in the seats.
The five-year old child in the front row just looked back at the crazies in confusion. At least he had his Coke©. ;)