Prompt: (From anon) Punky-monkey! The 2x10 bed scene but when Sarah asks what she's thinking about it's them. Cosima comes clean about her feelings and Sarah acts on it.

Pairing: Punky Monkey/Science Punk/SarahxCosima

A.N. Hey y'all, hope you enjoy my collection of shorts and drabbles. If you dig my work, come visit and/or follow me on Tumblr at the same URL as my username here, b00ksandcleverness (zeros and all). I'm always up for some more prompts!

She could feel Cosima's still, steady warmth on her back as she listened desperately for each shallow breath. Each hitch, each rattle, each little cough. Every one was precious, more important than the one before it. She didn't mind the silence tonight, because it meant that she could hear those beautiful sounds uninterrupted.

It was the sigh though, nearly silent, but deep and long, that let her know Cosima was still awake. She had faced away from the scientist, because she knew if she was facing her, her eyes wouldn't have left her face. Couldn't have left her face, and more than anything Sarah feared revealing her secret.

She turned to face the other woman, settling just inches closer, and traced the silhouette of Cosima's face, oxygen tube and all. It was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever seen.

The soft greeting of 'Hey' melted her heart, and she cursed herself as she struggled to keep the burn of tears from showing in her eyes.

She had thought Sarah was asleep. It gave her comfort, to know that the other woman was beside her; her protector, her guardian. It gave her comfort to think that Sarah could sleep at all, but maybe she had been wrong. Maybe Sarah was as scared as she was.

It was funny, the way the universe worked. For years, she had been so lonely. She was surrounded by fellow students, fellow scientists, but none of them were who she called friend.

She missed the warmth of another body beside her at night, arms wrapped around her waist and lips pressed against her shoulder. She told herself that she didn't need love, that science was her one true passion, but she in the back of her mind she longed to find love. And so she had.

Twice.

At the same time.

And now she was dying. Now she would lose it all. She would lose Sarah, and Delphine, and Scott and Kira. She would lose Alison and Felix and Helena. It was ironic that now that she was dying, she had finally found a family, something to live for.

It was ironic, too, that the first person she had ever fallen for was probably the one person she could never have: her clone, her sister.

Sarah had come charging into her life, blazing through every barrier she had ever constructed and burying into the spot in her heart that was apparently waiting for her. It didn't really bother Cosima, the fact that Sarah was her genetic identical, because really they were completely different people. DNA meant little in the scheme of love.

But Sarah frightened her; no one had ever made her feel so much, so quickly. So she had hidden it all away, and tried to move on.

She had grown to love Delphine, she really had. It was inevitable, really. But Delphine wasn't Sarah, and Cosima hated herself a little bit for that, because she didn't deserve either of them.

She wondered if this kind of irony was written into each of their patterns of life, if somehow each of their stories really was constructed in some…sacred geometry of the universe. There was so much beauty in the invisible patterns of the universe. Was this one of them? She supposed now, she would never know. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

So when Sarah had turned to face her, it was all she could do to keep it all in.

"What were you thinking about?" The question was quiet, tentative. It was so unlike Sarah, and that more than anything told Cosima that all was certainly not well.

Cosima could feel her throat burning as she answered with the closest non-truth she could think of.

"Oh, Buckminster Fuller, and…Sacred Geometry." Sarah's little huff of laughter brought a smile to Cosima's face. She suddenly had an idea, and raised her arm.

"Look," She directed, pulling up her sleeve to reveal one of her numerous tattoos. Her most important tattoo. "So this spiral? This is the Golden Ratio, and it's a mathematical pattern that repeats itself in nature." She traced the nautilus with her finger as she longed to feel Sarah do. "In flower petals, and honey bees, and, you know, the stars in the galaxy, and…in every molecule of our DNA."

She gazed towards the ceiling, reveling in the wonder of the universe, in the feel of Sarah's eyes on her skin. It never ceased to amaze her, this thing they called life.

"God, we're so different, all of us." Sarah's voice echoed some of her amazement as she spoke, making Cosima chuckle a bit.

"Yeah. I know." It really was astounding, and so amazingly, wonderfully beautiful.

Sarah snorted quietly. "I don't even know how to look at Art"

Cosima grinned at her, turning her head to the side and catching her eye. "Don't tell Fee!" The punk demanded playfully.

Cosima huffed out a short laugh. "I won't." she promised, bending her elbow to raise her hand, silently begging Sarah to take hold of it. She could feel herself getting weaker, and she was suddenly determined to leave nothing on the table.

Sarah complied, and she eagerly entwined their hands, marveling at the rough, warm, callused hands, so different from hers, but so similar.

"You're the wild type, Sarah." She caressed Sarah's fingers, needing this simple connection more than she needed her next breath. "You propagate against all odds, y'know, you're…restless. You survive." It was the thing that she admired most about the vibrant woman next to her.

Please survive, she begged silently. I need to know you'll live even when I'm gone.

She couldn't take her eyes off of their hands, palms pressed together, fingers bent to slip in-between each other. Connected. She heard Sarah swallow roughly.

"I can't do this without you, Cosima."

Those words blasted through her like a sandstorm, rubbing her raw and stinging her heart, but it was Sarah's tears that truly broke her heart. The tremble of her bottom lip - so much like Cosima's own - and the tiny, desperate shake of her head.

"You'll be fine." Cosima promised, rubbing her hand as reassuringly as possible. Sarah's half-hearted 'yeah' as she closed her eyes and turned away was not comforting. She needed Sarah to be ok. She couldn't leave without knowing.

"You just have to keep moving forward."

Sarah wiped her eyes and huffed. "Yeah, forward through the looking glass with Marian bloody Bowles."

Cosima grinned. "What could go wrong?" She joked, delighting at the smile Sarah gave her in response.

As they fell silent again, hands still caressing gently, Cosima knew she had to tell Sarah one last thing.

"Y'know, I never thought I would be one of those people who would find the love of their life."

The statement burned Sarah, but she squeezed Cosima's fingers anyway, trying to convey support, and love, and reassurance.

"I mean, love, if you break it down, is just a chemical reaction that happens in your brain. I cared more about my labs than I did about finding someone to spend my life with."

Cosima's eyes locked with Sarah's, and Sarah could see the fear in them, along with determination.

"I mean, yeah, it got lonely. I missed intimacy. But I could deal, you know? Totally do-able." The dreadlocked woman broke their gaze, her eyes returning to their clasped hands. "Until you."

Sarah's entire body froze. Her ears buzzed and her heart pounded and it felt like she had needles pricking her entire body in waves. Was she hearing what she thought she was hearing?

"You, uh, you kinda barged into my life, you know? My defenses weren't ready for you, Sarah. You totally took my by surprise, and I didn't even mind it. I fell in love with you without even noticing."

Her smile was self-deprecating as she finally met Sarah's wide-eyed stare again.

"Yeah, I know. It's a lot to take in, but I needed you to know, before…" She swallowed hard. "Well, just before."

"B-but…Delphine?"

Sarah wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. It was everything she had ever wanted to hear, but her brain was refusing to believe it. And she certainly didn't want to hear about 'before' anything, because it bloody well wasn't happening. Not on her watch.

"I never thought I could have you, not the way I wanted. I mean, society probably would never accept us; we look like twins even though technically we're two completely different entities with different DNA. I mean, you and Helena would have the same DNA, but you and I…I mean, yeah we're clones, but each of us have our own sequence, so…" She cleared her throat. "Anyway. I didn't think I could have you, so I pushed my feelings away and told myself I'd be the best sister I could. And then Delphine came along, and she was so beautiful and kind. I love her, Sarah, I do." That hurt, but she let Cosima continue un-interrupted. "But…She's not you. She'll never be you. And I know that makes me an awful person, because she'd do anything for me, she loves me, but my heart belongs to you, Sarah. All of it. Even the part that Delphine's made for herself in there."

The silence after her confession pressed on Cosima like the walls were closing in on all sides. Finally, it just got to be too much.

"I know it's a lot to take in. Like, I totally get it. But I just…needed you to know, you know? I get that you don't feel the same way, but -"

Everything happened so fast that at first she couldn't comprehend. But then the warm lips on hers broke through the fog, and she pressed back eagerly, hoping against hope that her chapped lips and oxygen tubes didn't drive Sarah away again.

It was like…walking into a fire-lit living room after being caught in a sudden blizzard. Like sinking into a hot bubble bath after a long, horrible day. It was like a cool autumn breeze after a scorching summer heat wave. It was like finally understanding just how vast the universe was, and just how small, but just how lucky you were. It was everything.

And it was over way too soon. She could feel the air cooling the Sarah's tears on her own cheeks as she opened her eyes to gaze in wonder into Sarah's.

"You silly tit," sobbed Sarah, her smile heartbreaking and soul-mending all at once. "How could I not feel the same, you bloody idiot?" She brushed her lips against Cosima's again. "How could I not?" And reattached their lips again.

So maybe it wasn't the answer to all of their problems. And, yeah, they had a lot to talk about and work out. But suddenly, all of those problems didn't seem so important anymore.

Suddenly, she felt a whole lot more like fighting.

She felt a whole lot more like living.