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Now without further ado, I present to you, the NEXT in the journal saga!
January 7th, 2003
How interesting. A day ago I talked to sister Lily. Apparently Alessa has been found. At first I didn't believe my sister. I thought perhaps it was false news and false hope, until she told me Claudia told her. I know for a fact Claudia wouldn't make such an important topic up. She's far too clever. I recently tried to ask Claudia today. She merely ignored my efforts and pretended she couldn't hear me. The only thing passing through those pale pink lips was, "Don't forget our cult gathering on the tenth." That was all the important information she told me.
Today I decided to explore the library for any potential connections to what Claudia believes and what has happened in the past. I came up with a few rather, important artifacts in the town history. It seems The only data that could uncover anything is currently removed by Claudia. Imagine that… The book was of course, The book written by Dahlia Gillespie. Fortunately, what I've found elsewhere contains information that I had to dissect carefully. Once I got past the lesser important details, what I uncovered was that Alessa had possibly been reborn into a new body. Its not for sure, but its happened in the past, so I don't doubt it. Those documents were far too brief for me to find out much more than that, but I understand the just of it all. It infuriates me to know Claudia is keeping it hidden and safe from my grasp. If only I knew how, or when, or even if its possible for Alessa to be reborn. Perhaps I could sneak into Claudia's room for a bit to find the rest of the details. I'd have to been keen in my investigation.
I possibly have a allies on my side against Claudia. Many of the other sisters find Sister Claudia to bring fright into their hearts. I for one feel the same. I am also aware sister Lily and sister Abigail hold a great liking to me. After taking the study of psychology, you tend to pick up on a few things people do or say that become oblivious to anyone else but you. This puts me one step ahead of Claudia. The more members of the cult I have on my side the easier it may be for the rest of the cult to deny Claudia her wish for Salvation. I myself have my own doubts about the resurrection. When I first joined this church, I was eager to learn and discover every square inch of its glory, but over the years I've begun to realize, this place isn't all it appears to be.
The thing I've enjoyed most about being a larger member of this cult is the money I receive in the process. I must admit, not all of the money I've received was earned, some was given to me or taken. The given parts I admire, but the taken parts, I regret. No matter how much Claudia tells me I'm going to Hell, I simply shake my head. If I was meant to stop, someone would have stopped me by now. Its most laughable how Claudia has such great sight, yet she doesn't notice the cut in her personal funds. Perhaps she simply ignores it. She views money with such scorn its ridiculous! I, however, find good use for every cent I receive. I often wonder what my life would be like if I had never moved to Silent Hill in high school. Perhaps I would never have taken up psychology. Maybe I would never have been picked on in school, leading me to join the cult of Silent Hill and all its power. Perhaps I would never have taken a chance, and never have lost something I loved. This cult, my money, my sisters… This is all I have left in this world. My parents no longer are in contact, they gave up on me when I ran away at age nineteen and joined the church. I often think of my mother when I see the eyes I inherited in the cracked bathroom mirror every morning. She was always telling me life lessons. One I will always hold by me is my all time favourite, "You are where you stand." I choose to remain in power. I am powerful. Not spiritually like Claudia, but mentally. I've gotten by well.
I guess this is a good time to stop writing my thoughts. If I continue I'll be here most of the week. My mind never stops thinking, not even for a second. I'll write more on he Alessa case as news proceeds itself to my ears and eyes. Until then, I leave you wondering what comes next.
Vincent