I don't know how this turned into a three part thing but the muse wants what it wants, I guess. A neurotic part of me is kind of annoyed that I'm meddling with a perfectly good chess metaphor but again, the muse wants what it wants! Thanks to everyone who read and took the time to review! Enjoy!
"Hey have you spoken to Stefan lately?"
It's been three days since his flirty, pithy text message about liking not being friends and she's heard not a whisper from him since. No walking into her dorm room unannounced, no following her to the hospital with her Mom, no accosting her in the street asking what he can do to get her to forgive him. Nothing. Nada.
It's infuriating.
She really shouldn't be focused on it. They have a whole ordeal to organize in getting Bonnie back without Jo's psychotic brother and she should be completely dedicated to that.
Still, Stefan's behaviour is infuriating.
Elena looks up from rigorously stuffing her handbag. "Uhm… Maybe not since friendsgiving? When I rang to whine to him about how awkward the Liam situation was. Why?"
"No reason," Caroline says quickly, returning to the psychology textbook in front of her on instrumental learning.
"Well I wish he was the one coming with me to meet Liv today," Elena says, pushing a sweater into her bag violently. "As it is I have to spend another day with Damon."
"You're not still pretending that you don't want to see Damon, are you?" Caroline retorts.
"It's awful, Caroline!" she exclaims, "I have to face his disappointment that I've moved on, not that I have, really, considering Liam has made it clear he has no interest in dating a vampire, but, whatever.
"Also," she looks up in agitation, "he and Bonnie? I mean it doesn't make sense that he's so concerned about getting her back. He and Bonnie have never liked each other, that I do remember."
"Jealous?" Caroline snorts.
"I'm not jealous, I just…" she stops mid sentence and glares. "Sorry, why were you asking about Stefan again?"
Caroline stalls, trying to think of a reasonable answer to her question.
"Oh you know," she starts flippantly, "for a while there he was making a big point of turning up unannounced, trying to win back my friendship. Hasn't happened in a few days so I figured he's either got the message or died. Not that I care, either way."
"Ahuh."
"Don't 'ahuh' me!" Caroline exclaims, turning in her chair to make sure Elena knows how indignant she is. "I really don't care."
"Yeah I got that, what with you enquiring about his well being and all," Elena replies sarcastically.
Caroline rolls her eyes.
"Alright, I'm ready to go," Elena says with a huff. "Hopefully meeting with Liv actually gets us somewhere. Don't wait up for me tonight. I should probably try and spend some time with Jeremy, regardless of how well this goes."
"Good luck," Caroline says hopefully.
"Thanks."
Elena breezes out the door, lugging her over packed handbag behind her. The snap of the door as it closes shifts Caroline's thoughts to how she can possibly fill the rest of her day.
She could ring Enzo, but she hasn't quite forgiven him yet for killing Tripp.
Matt? Hasn't quite forgiven her yet for Enzo killing Tripp.
Tyler? She winces, maybe not.
She ends up taking out her phone and dialing her Mom's number.
"Hello?" Liz sounds in a rush when she finally picks up on the sixth ring.
"Hey, it's me," Caroline says brightly. "I'm a bit bored with study and wondered if you'd want to meet for coffee?"
"Sorry, honey," Liz says, sounding disappointed, "I'm in the middle of a stolen car situation."
Caroline bites her tongue to stop herself from commenting that a stolen car is a lot less problematic than most of the supernatural things her mother has to deal with at work.
When she puts the phone down she feels utterly ridiculous, not even my mother wants to hang out with me.
She tries to get back into her compulsory reading but finds herself reading the same line over and over again. She feels agitated and bored, which is never a good combination as a vampire.
She picks up her phone and looks through it absently (well at least she tells herself she'd being absent, despite the fact she lands on Stefan in her contacts within no time at all).
She hesitates before pressing call, biting her fingernails as the line rings.
"Hey."
His voice sounds amazing. She tries to remember the line she was going to lead with next.
"You didn't call me," she decides on, because at the very least it's something she can still be annoyed about, despite still reeling from the sound of his voice and the memory it evokes.
"You didn't text me back," he says simply. He doesn't sound angry but he doesn't sound flirtatious either, like his text message indicated.
She bites her lip. "I didn't know what to say."
There's a long pause before he replies and she feels a surge of anxiety with the silence.
"Do you want to grab dinner, or coffee, or something?" he finally says.
"Yeah, okay," she says, wincing when she realizes how quick her reply is. "Do you want to swing by in an hour or so and we can… I know a nice place… Other than the diner I mean, I feel like I've been there way too much lately and it'd be nice to get out and go somewhere different just so the waitresses don't think I'm the saddest person alive…"
Shut up, Caroline.
"Yeah, sounds nice."
"Cool," she says, "Okay, well, I'll see you then, bye."
She hangs up quickly, cringing as she does.
She's glad that she gives herself an hour because it takes her a while to decide on the right outfit. All things considered, finding a dress that says, "I'm still angry at you about ditching me for three months when your brother died – the brother who, incidentally, was dating your ex-girlfriend who also happens to be my best friend – and I'm not sure what you're thinking about all of this and I also don't want to completely ruin our friendship…"
She gives up pretty quickly on finding the perfect dress when she realizes there's no concrete end to what her outfit needs to convey.
She ends up with something blue and floral with thin straps and an A line skirt. She doesn't bother with much make up (mostly because she doesn't want to look like she's tried but also because she's probably too jittery to put it on properly).
When he knocks on the door on the hour, she almost leaps three feet into the air. She takes a deep breath before answering the door, trying to compose herself.
"Hey," she says, her voice just a bit too high. Her eyes rake over him and she thinks he's probably tried to pick an outfit that conveys all the same things she was trying to. His jeans and shirt match her casual clothes perfectly.
He looks good though, really good.
"Hey," he says softly in return.
It's at that point she starts to feel her vampire feelings kicking in, all sex driven and desperate. She closes the door behind her quickly and reminds herself to find some alcohol.
"Thanks for agreeing to come to dinner," he says earnestly as they walk out of the dorms.
"Well I didn't have many other offers so, you were my last resort."
She can't decide if she's trying to be funny and flirty or sarcastic and unrepentant. Maybe she's just trying to have a moan about her lack of good company to the person who used to be on the receiving end of such problems. Maybe it's all three, she has no idea anymore.
As they walk to the restaurant they sink into an uncomfortable silence. She doesn't know what she's meant to be feeling or how she should be reacting. Part of her thinks she should still be trying to be angry (because part of her is still angry, very angry) but overall she just feels jittery at the memory of the other night and how close they are in proximity.
The restaurant is small, family run and Italian. All things Stefan notes in appreciation.
Once they're seated, he starts. "I'm sorry I didn't call over the last few days, I wanted to-"
"Make me wait?"
She accosts the waiter at this point, demanding wine. If she's going to continue saying awkward things without knowing why or what she wants to gain from them, at the very least she's going to have an alibi in the form of complete inebriation.
"No, I just wanted to let you decide if you wanted to see me again," he says genuinely.
She pauses before she replies, trying to gather her thoughts before she voices them. It doesn't go very well (it usually doesn't) and she ends up saying things as she thinks of them instead.
"I don't… I don't know if I wanted to see you again." It seems like a ridiculous thing to say considering she rang him in the first place, which indicates that she did want to see him again, very much so. She shakes her head and continues, "I mean I did… I do, but I'm still angry with you about the summer. Before everything happened, I thought you were amazing, I honestly did. But you really hurt me, Stefan and I'm not sure that I still feel the same-"
She pauses because her throat is closing up and her pulse is pounding and blood is rushing to her face. The memory of him kissing her, the way he looked at the door, the way he made her feel when she opened it, none of it seems to equate to the concept of not feeling the same as she did before.
"Your drinks?"
She jumps slightly at the realization that the waiter is at her side. She watches carefully as he fills her glass and she takes it from him immediately, not bothering to sit it down on the table.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you so badly," he says once the waiter has walked away. "I know it's no excuse but-"
"You wanted a hollow incarnation of life and no reminders of your old one, I know," she says curtly.
"Look Caroline, this probably doesn't make my case seem any better but I'm not nearly as nice as you think I am. Sometimes I am truly selfish. And I'm sorry about that, I really am. I'm sorry if that's changed the way you feel about me because…"
He pauses, struggling to find the right words.
"Because, why?" she prompts.
"Because I see it now," he says quietly. "Over the last few days, when I kissed you, when we are at the hospital, when Enzo pointed it out, all I've done is go over it in my mind. You. You there when no one else was. You going off on a mission with Enzo to try and save me. You falling asleep next to me. You, laughing at me about Katherine. You there for me when I lost my memories. You, "a lot hotter in person" and me noticing because without my memories I could think about something other than Elena."
It happens again, air leaving her lungs in one, big expiration when she didn't even acknowledge the fact she was holding her breath.
"It hasn't," she chokes out.
"What?" he asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"It hasn't… Changed how I feel about you."