Hey, guys! So, feel free to be mad at me. I'm mad at me. I'm way more active in the PJO fandom, and I haven't been doing as much over here. That ends now! I have realized that I have a duty to ALL my fandoms. Without further ado… Welcome to the eighth chapter of Ever After High Oneshots! (I have GOT to change the title…)
Dedicated to: RavenQueenFan2605 (Who asked for: A love triangle (ex. Poppy x Sparrow x Duchess)?
"BREAKING NEWS" ran across the bottom of the screen in bright red. C.A. Cupid, the face above it, looked startled. Her robin egg blue eyes were wide and there was a hand in her pink hair.
Blondie Locks looked nervous, even after the opening jingle of Just Right. Her deep blue eyes kept shifting from one side of the camera to the other, and she was twirling a lock of her blond hair.
Raven looked annoyed as she and Maddie had their little bit before the main part of the show. Maddie was smiling as if nothing was wrong. Then, "The Raven and Maddie Show" popped up in turquoise, black, and purple.
"Hellllooooo, Ever After! Today, I have a special surprise for you. Instead of love advice... We're doing something a little different."
"I pride myself on knowing about everything in this school. I may not be as intrepid in love as my dear friend Cupid, but I do know a story when I hear one."
"Blondie and Cupid told us what they planned to do for their shows. And because we're huge copycats-"
"We decided to do the same thing! Sorta. The witch and the hat will-"
"What Maddie means is that we've decided to talk about-"
"The newest love triangle! And let me tell you, Ever After High, it's something even I, C.A. Cupid couldn't have imagined! Our love triangle is made up of-"
"Sparrow Hood, Duchess Swan, and Poppy O'Hair! That's right, folks. Both of these amazing girls like one amazing guy. Now, let's look at the facts." Blondie grinned and began listing them off of her fingers.
"Personally, I don't see what the big problem is." Raven started, tucking a strand of purple hair behind her ear. "People like who they like. That's it. And people have crushes all the time. So what if they like the same guy? People do this all the time, only this time it's public. Which is, in my opinion, a major invasion of privacy."
"I agree with Raven." Maddie agreed, nodding importantly. "People should just keep their noses out of other people's beeswax."
"Now, it is... scandalous, but I think we might be onto something here. Poppy's a rebel and Sparrow's a Royal. This shows that we're getting over our old prejudice, which is good."
Hunter snorted as he leaned over Ashlyn's shoulder, watching Cupid's show. "'This shows that we're getting over our old prejudice?' The only thing that this shows is that she wasn't there for the food fight or the way Apple called Raven selfish!"
"But we're together, aren't we? We proved them wrong." Ashlyn replied, leaning back into him.
Hunter looked down at her and smiled. "Yeah. I guess we did."
"I want to get to the bottom of this, see what it really feels like for these three people." Cupid grinned, her wings fluttering with excitement. "So, please welcome... Duchess Swan-"
"Sparrow Hood-" Blondie held his hand and drew him into view, not noticing his obvious discomfort. (And Sparrow did everything obviously.)
"And Poppy O'Hair!" Maddie cried, clapping rapidly. She blinked. "Why is there only one of you?"
"Well, Duchess is with Cupid," the daughter of Rapunzel said, counting on her fingers. Her other hand gripped tight on the armrest.
"But... But... Where are the others?" Cupid asked. Duchess rolled her eyes.
"Three shows wanted us. Three shows got us. Just... One of us."
"This isn't right!" Cupid cried, hovering over her table agitatedly. "I can't have just one of you! Especially not... Well... You."
Duchess rolled her eyes. "Definitely feeling the love here."
"Sparrow is with Blondie…" Poppy visibly scowled as she thought of the pretty blond and Sparrow together. In the same room. Alone. Sort of.
"No, no, no, no, no. Reporters need everyone. One, two, and three. Ketchup, mustard, and relish. The whole enchilada, not just the tortilla!" Blondie cried as she paced rapidly.
Sparrow wrinkled his nose. "I hate relish."
Blondie smiled fakely at the camera. "We'll be having a short intermission, folks." She grabbed Sparrow's hand, her Persian Blue painted nails digging into his wrist.
"I need to get to the bottom of this."
"And I'm here with you guys!" Poppy finished.
"Oh... Okay then. So, we wanted to ask you a few questions...? If that's okay with you, I mean." Raven said, awkwardly. Poppy nodded and Maddie took that as her cue to start.
"What is it like-"
Blondie barged in, her blue eyes flashing.
"Ooh, Blondie, is that Persian Blue? It matches your-" Maddie half-complimented. (I say half because she never did finish, now did she?)
"Raven Queen! This is completely unprofessional! A real journalist needs the whole enchilada, not the tortilla!" Blondie cried.
"Why am I the tortilla?" Sparrow complained. "Why can't I be like the, I dunno, salsa or something?"
Everyone ignored him.
"Did she just-" Dexter glared at the Blondie as she yelled at Raven, his hands clenching into fists.
"Bro, calm down!" Daring chuckled as he ruffled Dexter's hair. "They probably rehearsed this part! Relax."
"I dunno, Daring. It doesn't seem very rehearsed." Dexter sighed and started watching the show again.
"A real journalist knows not to interrupt another journalist during their interview," Raven replied calmly. Blondie gasped.
"You did not just-"
"BURN!" Dexter crowed. A few students looked at him strangely. Daring looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
"Little brother. Chill."
"That is completely rude," Maddie added. "Thank Wonderland you didn't interrupt the interviewee."
"Yeah, that's-" Poppy started. She would never finish that sentence as Cupid barged in right then, Duchess close behind her, her pink feathers fluttering.
Maddie and Blondie gasped.
"You interrupted the interviewee!" Maddie cried.
"Even I didn't do that," Blondie added, tutting. "That is the mark of a horrible journalist."
"Oh good, you're both here," Cupid said in relief, ignoring the outraged critics. "You can't have a love triangle with only one person."
"They're not going to come with you because both of them are going to come with me," Blondie retaliated.
"Neither of them are going to come with you. They all love our show much better," Raven betted, nodding to the side sassily.
"Okay, okay, okay. I think we should all ignore the love triangle, sit down, and have some tea!" Maddie said, taking off her hat and pulling a teacup out.
No one listened to her.
"Come on, Sparrow!" Blondie cried, grabbing his hand. "You can convince Poppy and Duchess to come with you!"
"What are we, dogs?" Poppy demanded, crossing her arms.
"And I'm definitely not staying in the same room as Miss I-Think-People-Actually-Like-My-Show over there," Duchess snorted, glaring at Blondie, and, therefore, Sparrow. Her gaze then moved down at their clasped hands. Poppy followed her gaze and scowled.
"You know, maybe we should-" she started. Duchess quickly placed a hand on her arm, her nails digging into Poppy's skin. Poppy turned towards her.
"What are you-"
"Don't do anything rash," Duchess hissed. "The Blonde Know-It-All thinks she's got us in the palm of her hand. I refuse to be in her palm. It probably smells like porridge." She wrinkled her nose in disgust.
"You know, on second hand, why don't we all stay here, and have an interview with all of you guys together?" Poppy suggested.
They all looked at each other.
"Why not?" Raven said finally, sitting down. She looked around, daring anyone to speak up, her violet eyes flashing dangerously.
Cupid and Blondie gulped.
"Sounds great," Cupid said, smiling fakely.
"Just right," Blondie added, gritting her teeth behind her sugar sweet smile.
Daring groaned, gesturing at the mirror cast.
"See? Obviously rehearsed!"
"They must be really good actors," Dexter muttered as he noticed Blondie's fingers tightening around Sparrow's wrist, and the way Cupid's nails dug into the armrest of her couch, where she sat with Duchess.
"I'll ask the first question," Blondie said. No one objected, as to save Sparrow's poor wrist from any further torture. Blondie smiled, a real one this time.
"So, Duchess, what's your opinion on Poppy?" Raven shot the daughter of Goldilocks a warning look.
Duchess shot her a look filled with... pity?
"I... I... Oh, in the name of Grimm! Why do you all care so much? Why are the crushes of Poppy and I so important?! Why can't you just leave us be?! Are you so bored that you want to... embarrass us because it makes you feel better?! And to answer your question Blondie, I personally do not have anything against Poppy O'Hair. Maybe we both like the same guy. So what?! I base my opinions of people on their personality." She paused. "And maybe a little because of their story," she admitted.
There was a short period of silence, where Blondie and Cupid blushed, Raven groaned quietly, burying her face under her hand and hair, and Duchess and Poppy shared a look. Both girls turned to Blondie's hand (Yup, still clinging on to Sparrow's wrist, which was probably red by now) and an unspoken agreement passed between them.
"Why can you never treat us like people?! It's like we're not there, and all the matters is that you, the supposed "Love Expert"-" Finger jab at Cupid. "And the "Journalist"-" Finger jab at Blondie. "Get congratulated for a good show! Can you for once just forget about eating the enchilada? Can you ignore the fact that both the salsa and the sour cream taste equally good with the tortilla and maybe focus instead on the fact that there's a perfectly good pizza-" cough "Dexven" another cough "waiting somewhere else? And furthermore, Blondie Locks, since we're on the topic, will you let go of Sparrow's hand?!" Poppy exclaimed. "You're so into this whole love triangle thing, but you've been holding his wrist since you've gotten here! Cupid knows why we all like the guy-"
"I don't, actually," Cupid threw in helpfully. She was ignored.
"But at least, Duchess and I aren't hypocrites! Alright, it's our turn to be the reporters."
"AHA!" Dexter yelled, pointing at the screen. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that's rehearsed! That's right, you can't because it's not true."
"Oh, will you calm down?!" Daring snapped.
Sparrow yanked his wrist out of the confines of Blondie's hand, rubbing the sore skin that now matched his bright red hair.
"I'll ask the first question."
"Go for it," Raven said, nodding. Blondie and Cupid agreed dazedly.
"Why don't I get to be the salsa?" He whined.
Duchess and Poppy exchanged a look.
"Why do we even like him?" Poppy contemplated.
"No idea..." Duchess replied.
"You know, maybe the tortilla doesn't want any sour cream or salsa," Poppy said, slowly.
"Yeah, maybe... maybe the tortilla wants some cheese on it,"
Duchess added.
"Maybe... Maybe... " Poppy trailed off.
"Maybe we should set him up with Melody!" Poppy exclaimed.
"I was thinking Lizzie," Duchess argued.
A pause.
"Nah. He's ours."
"No, Poppy, he's mine."
"Um, no, he's mine."
"He spends most of his time with me!"
"He busted you at the True Hearts Day party!"
"That doesn't mean anything!"
"What kingdom do you come from?! He busted you on True Hearts Day!"
"It's called Tough Love!"
"No, it's called I'm-Not-In-Love-With-You-Because-I'm-In-Love-With-Poppy Love!"
"That's not even a type of love!"
"No, it's not," Cupid backed Duchess up.
"See?" Duchess gestured to the daughter of Eros.
"Oh, now you listen to me," Cupid muttered.
"Nope, not rehearsed," Daring said finally, sighing at what he knew was to come.
"I told you so!" Dexter cried, standing up.
"What's all this about?" Milton Grimm demanded, walking towards them.
"Heh, heh, heh," Dexter chuckled nervously. "So, funny story..."
"The tortilla's getting soggy from the sour cream, salsa, and beef," Daring answered.
"Since when is Blondie beef? Shouldn't she be cheese or something?"
"No, because Lizzie or Melody is cheese."
"Why are they the cheese?"
"How did you get Raven to go out with you again?" Daring muttered, shaking his head at his geeky brother.
So, this monster is finally finished! I apologize to you all for the obnoxiously long wait. The next chapter will come way sooner, I promise. It's a Raven Queen Q&A, so send in your questions!