All the Guys are lined up and ready for the race.
Cooper: The race is going to be postponed for a couple minutes.
Shawna: The Guy leaders are unsatisfied.
Kim, Shego, and Rogue suddenly drop down interrogation holes along with their cars.
Cooper: The race will start once the replacements are announced.
Shawna: One is Jubileena Bing-bing!
Jubileena comes in. Her car is a slice of cherry pie.
Jubileena: The Cherriot!
Julian: Hey Jubileena, it's been so long!
Jubileena: Juice!
Jubileena rushes over and attaches to Julian's leg.
Shawna: Jubileena, return to your car.
Jubileena: No!
Cooper: Do we need to call the Guy lea-
Jubileena is back in her car before he can finish the sentence.
Shawna: Another one is T-X Loken!
T-X enters in a big giant truck that she probably stole.
T-X: The Truck.
Shawna: And the last one is Telemachus Rhade!
Rhade drives in. His car has three long spikes sticking out the each side.
Rhade: The Blade.
Cooper: Okay, we are ready to begin. Start your engines!
The room is filled with the noise of many engines as the Guys start up their cars. Jarem's sounds pathetic.
A huge door in front of them lifts up to reveal the first stretch of the track.
Shawna (suddenly and without warning): Go!
Most of the Guys take off. A couple lag. The levitating announcer's box carrying Cooper and Shawna follow along.
Cooper: Starting out in the lead is Rodney with Tib right on his wheels!
Tib is ripping pieces off of Rodney's donut wheels. Rodney is losing control.
Shawna: Should we let that happen, Cooper dearest?
Cooper: Well, there are no rules. I don't think we should interfere...
Rodney veers off the track. Tib, who is not paying attention, kind of hits the Food car and crashes into a tree.
Shawna: Now taking the lead is Dylan with Cam right beside him!
Cam: Dude, you need a haircut.
Dylan (trying to get his hair out of his face but it keeps blowing back and there's a piece stuck in his mouth): What do you mean?
Cam just shakes his head. Dylan runs over a pothole that he couldn't see because his hair was in his face and slows down.
Cooper: Jubileena is sneaking by Cam to first place!
Cam: Hey, you little munchkin! Outta my way!
Jubileena: No!
Cam: I'll steam roll you over!
Cam proceeds to do that while Jubileena tries to dodge. Meanwhile, Lara and Samus pass by, driving right beside each other.
Lara:...and so I started wondering if he was serious or if he just hits on all girls like that...
Samus (would look extremely interested if you could see inside her helmet): Yeah?
Lara: Yeah, and so I asked him...
Suddenly Harper drives between them.
Harper: Excuse me, ladies!
Vala is right behind him. They end up right next to each other, taking turns inching ahead. Lara and Samus go back to their conversation.
Vala: I'm so beating you Zelazny!
Harper: You just wait for my great move, Boom box!
Harper's wheel hits a big rock and the Harpinator flips onto its side.
Vala (laughing): I'm not seeing any great moves!
Harper: You watch! It's coming!
The Harpinator skids to a stop on its side and Harper gets out to try and flip it back over. Lara and Samus separate to avoid him, but he screams like a baby anyway.
Cooper: Vala is in the lead and taking up the rear is Jarem!
Shawna: Actually honey, you missed someone.
Cooper: Correction, Sheppard is in the back.
Sheppard is desperately trying to free the Shep-Attack from quicksand.
Sheppard: Come on, why am I always stuck!?
Shawna: Vala is keeping the front spot, with Samus and Lara right behind her.
Harper, back on his wheels, is dangerously driving while trying to get a project of his to work.
Harper: Come on, work! You did fine in my test run!
Suddenly a giant bowling ball rolls onto the track and is heading srtraight for Harper. He screams.
Harper: I'm gonna die!
Harper's experiment finally works, opening a tiny slipstream portal. He enters it and rides slipstream until his machine runs out of power. He ends up right in front of Vala.
Harper: How'd you like that move, Boom box?
Vala: Yeah well I'm building up for my awesome move. Watch your back, Zelazny!
Meanwhile the bowling ball is going toward Minty.
Minty: AAAAAAH!
Rapunzel swerves into Minty and they both go off the road.
Minty: Oh look Rapunzel, a Dunkin' Donuts!
Rapunzel: Let's go!
The two of them abandon their cars to go donut shopping. The bowling ball rolls over Grug, who curls up in his cave-like car. It isn't crushed when the bowling ball is done rolling over it.
Grug: HA! I built the Ride to survive!
Then Grug and his car roll over a grenade and it explodes. All the wheels fling off. Grug sets to work trying to reattach them.
Snake: (laughing to himself): He never knew what hit him.
Cooper: Harper is in the lead with Vala close behind. Turbo is now in third and gaining fast!
Turbo: First place is mine! Hoo hoo!
The piece of road underneath the Turbo-tasticar springs up, flinging Turbo backward. He lands at the beginning.
Turbo: Back to start!? Not fair!
Turbo starts driving again. He passes by Sheppard, who has just freed his car from the quicksand.
Shawna: And Rancis takes the lead! Sheppard is still losing.
Rancis is very happy as he races along, but a wire appears across the track and knocks him out of his car. The Kit Kart rolls a little before halting. Rancis immediately begins having a tantrum. Gloyd laughs evilly as he passes.
Cooper: Gloyd leads the pack now, with Rose just behind him!
Rose slowly starts to overtake Gloyd.
Gloyd: I wanna win! Get behind me!
Rose: No, I can win too!
Rose begins inching to the front.
Gloyd: No, you can't! Stop for a second!
Rose: No!
Gloyd's eyes narrow and the next thing he says seems like the only sound to Rose for a moment.
Gloyd: I'll kill you.
Rose gets disturbed and swerves a little. Gloyd keeps on going.
In the back Sheppard is trying very hard to pass atleast one person. He goes by a lake where he sees Jack and Dylan fishing. He shrugs and keeps going, satisfied that he's not last anymore.
Dax approaches Gloyd in first place. She's riding the Killer Trill like a horse and there is a spear in her hand.
Gloyd (seeing Dax): Wah?
Dax throws the spear and it lodges in Gloyd's tire.
Gloyd: No!
The Kernel swerves off the track. Dax laughs maniacally.
In the middle somewhere Guy is hitting people off their cars with a boxing glove attached to a stick.
Guy: Take that!
Rapunzel screams as she lands on the ground.
Rapunzel: Buttmunch! You made me drop my donut!
Minty: Not the donut!
Guy hits Minty off too. He is about to hit someone else when he realizes who it is.
Guy: Oh hey there, little brother!
Swizzle smiles up at him like a happy little munchkin. Guy settles back into his car.
Guy: Doesn't this breeze feel nice in our wooshy long dude hair?
Swizzle: Oh yeah.
Turbo speeds by angrily, sending Guy and Swizzle's wooshy long dude hair flying in their faces. Gene and Rhade zoom by too.
Gene: Hey, Rhade!
Rhade: What do you want?
Gene: Your beard makes you look like Riker!
Rhade gets extremely angry at this terrible insult.
Rhade: Well, your mustache is... ugly!
They start bumping each other's cars. Carter passes by.
Carter: Ugh, men! Why must they always fight?
Campbell: Because they're idiots.
Carter: You're right!
Campbell: I learned that in your Carter Air Force school.
Carter: I've been thinking of renaming it Carter Air Force School for Women. What do you think?
Campbell: That's great! Then we wouldn't have to deal with any immature men.
Closer to the front Rommie and T-X are next to each other.
T-X: I am totally stronger and better than you.
Rommie: Not true. I could beat you in a fight anyday!
T-X: You most definately could not!
Rommie: Oh yeah? Wanna bet?
T-X: We shall.
Rommie: Okay, right here right now!
Rommie looks up as if she's searching for something inside her brain.
Julian (driving close by): Ladies, can't we settle this disagreement in a non-violent manner?
Before either answers the space ship Andromeda swoops down and shoots T-X. T-X and her truck are blown to pieces but she just heals herself and starts fixing her truck.
Julian moves his car away from Rommie, who looks proud of herself.
Cooper: In the lead now is Kaavi, with Teal'c in second place and Trance in third.
Jarem: You go, my lovely!
Kaavi doesn't hear Jarem because he's way in the back. Jack and Dylan, now done their fishing trip, pass by him and catch up with Sheppard.
Sheppard: Catch anything?
Jack: Nope, but that's not the point. The experience is the important part.
Sheppard just stares.
Close to the back, Calhoun is holding a rope tied to Felix as he tries to retrieve peices of their cars that are stuck in sink goo.
Felix: I almost have the last one!
Candlehead hits Calhoun as she's passing by and Calhoun falls on her face. Felix slips into the goo and starts sinking.
Felix: Oh my land!
Calhoun: Felix!
Calhoun starts desperately trying to pull him out. Luckily Felix manages to grab the last piece of car before he is rescued. They start fixing their cars. Ralph and Clyde drive by.
Ralph: Really? And the whole room was destroyed?
Clyde: Yeah. That's why the Bad-Anon meeting isn't until Wednesday.
Ralph: Ah.
Suddenly Clyde enters a pocket of zero gravity and he flings upward really fast. Ralph watches this happen curiously, then shrugs and continues on.
Near the middle of the race Taffyta, Rancis, Candlehead, and Vanellope have Tib boxed in. They are all nipping at him.
Tib: Aah! Evil munchkins, someone save me!
Giselle drives by oblivious to Tib's life-threatening danger and waves to them. Carter passes by as well.
Carter: Aww, how adorable.
The munchkins all smile at her sweetly before going back to chewing Tib's leg off.
Tib (into a walkie-talkie): Dylan, we have a code yellow!
Dylans voice over the walkie-talkie: Aw, Tib! Just don't get it in the engine!
Meanwhile near the front, Ariel is driving along innocently when all of a sudden Clyde and his car fall out of the sky and land on her.
Ariel: Hey, where'd you come from?
Clyde: I have no idea...
In the front Gloyd and Jubileena are avoiding Cam, who is trying to steam roll them over, when they all crash into a wall painted to look like it was the racetrack.
Other Guys crash too until they all do and it's a giant pile of Guys and their cars. Then all the cars vanish and the Guys are left laying and sitting on the ground.
Daniel: What's going on?
Cooper and Shawna catch up in their levitating announcer's box.
Cooper: You are not allowed to use your cars for the other sections of the race.
Trance: Why not?
Shawna: Because that is the way the Guy leaders want it to be.
Dax: Aww, I loved my Killer Trill.
Jubileena: I got here first.
Gloyd: Nuh-uh! I hit the wall first, I win.
Jubileena and Gloyd start rolling around on the ground, wrestling.
Cooper: Pay attention, please. You will all attend a dinner tonight.
Tib (who was just sleeping on the ground): Dinner?
Shawna: It will be soon. We are going to go prepare it. Wait here until further notice.
Shawna and Cooper float away, leaving the Guys sitting there confused.