A/N: Updated by popular demand

"Kids, in the fall of 2012, your Aunt Robin (who is actually your Aunt Maria) invited some of her friends from work to our Halloween party. This is the story of how one of them broke your Uncle Barney's arm..."

The wet snapping sound was, unfortunately, very familiar and I found myself rushing towards the other side of the roof in the hope of stopping further violence.

Getting my "Robin" Friends and my "Maria" friends in the same room wasn't exactly my idea. It was Steve's

Hawkeye let my situation slip to Steve who just wouldn't stop nagging me until he met one of my normal people friends and when he did, Ted accidentally invited him to our Halloween party. So Steve dragged the world's most elite fighting force along to a party filled with 30 somethings on Ted's roof..

And for some reason, at no point during this slow progression to madness, did I say "no". I just let a super soldier who is old enough to be my grand father get really excited about a Halloween party with regular people.

I suppose it was because deep down, I understood why Steve wanted to go.

Steve Rogers went from being a scrawny nobody, becoming a super human propaganda piece, a war machine, and finally in to a time traveler in the space of just a year and a half. There was no time for him to have a life, to be a regular guy, no time to celebrate the fact that he helped single handedly defeat fascism or to mourn the friends he lost. One minute he was in a war, the next he was awake in 2012. And after waking up in the future everyone he met was either a spy, a monster, a cyborg, or a demi god. He didn't meet anyone normal and he didn't get to relax.

So the chance to hang out with people who didn't want to kill him or enlist him in a battle to save the world was very refreshing. The poor guy just desperately wanted some new friends. So I said yes out of pity.

I really should have said no.

Oh sure the evening started out okay. Barney and Tony Stark got along wonderfully (as expected) and they spent most of the night trading "I did this with this model in this tropical country" stories and I caught Stark shouting "Legendary!".

I tried to tune them out.

Banner and Ted were two of the more nerdy guys in the room and they spent a lot of time talking about Star Wars (shock) while Steve stood in the corner, smiling like an idiot. The poor guy was just happy to be included in something. (I made a mental not to get Steve a life).

The surprise of the night was Thor and Marshall. One of them was a mighty Viking war god and the other was a sweet, corny lawyer. And yet the minute Thor heard Marshall's last name, he treated him like he was a long lost brother or something. "Aye, I should've known that you had Nordic blood, I see the shape of your ancestors within you. What is your trade, Marshall of Minnesota?"

"I'm a lawyer."

"A scholar of laws? A noble profession!" And then they spent the next two hours getting drunk and screaming "Ericsson!" (something about wanting Marshall's dad to hear them in Valhalla).

Before you ask, yes, Lily did flirt with Steve for absolutely no reason. ("I"m married, not blind!")

Things didn't get weird until Natasha showed up.

I had actually hoped that she wouldn't come at all, since Natasha could be a little...intense sometimes and "intense redheads" are one of my fiancee's little emotional triggers. But Natasha and Clint rolled through the door two hours late and already drunk. I don't know what kind of weird, co-dependent assassin things they do when they aren't at Avengers tower but I knew it was going to spill over into my "Robin" life...possibly violently.

I tried to keep Barney away from her and I hoped she would just mind her own god damned business but Barney was like a moth to a cleavage shaped light bulb. He walked over, he leaned towards her and...well...

"YOU BROKE MY ARM!"

"Then you shouldn't have been staring at my tits you little pervert." Natasha said.

Thor laughed, this was actually funny to him.

I just sighed and grabbed the first aid kit.