"See sweetie. Now then, what are we going to do today? I quite like the idea of raxacoricofallapitorius." River dumped the core of her pear into the silver bin in the corner of the room.
"Sounds good to me honey."
River and The Doctor once again performed their dance around the TARDIS consol. They landed smoothly, which puzzled The Doctor to start, but then realised that River had turned off the brakes. River performed an environment check using the monitor; The Doctor simply poked his head out the door and stuck his finger in the air. Both methods confirmed that they were in raxacoricofallapitorius.
"Doctor" River said, in her worried tone. "Something's not right. I am not picking up any life signs in a 30 meter radius. We should have been surrounded by now." She continued.
"Let's go and find these slitheen then, professor River Song." The Doctor smiled his usual, baby smile.
"Pleasure, Sweetie." She cooed.
Hand in hand they walked through corridors, River with her devices and The Doctor with his sonic screwdriver. They turned a corner and The Doctor almost walked into a locked door, had River not held him back. Both of them scanned it, and were receiving thousands of life signals from inside.
"Doctor, is it some sort of meeting or something?" River asked.
The Doctor slapped his forehead. "Ow. Yes, I should have known. The slitheen are very, um, religious. They have ceremonies, um, every, er, River, turn around." As he said that, both of theirs hands were gripped tightly behind their backs and handcuffs were attached.
"Great" she thought, "while talking too much about something he missed, he got us captured."
Several hours later, The Doctor and River were running down the same corridor they had entered via. River was shooting behind her, hitting every time, and The Doctor fiddling with the sonic screwdriver.
"DOCTOR. Stop trying to get your cabinet builder to work and open the bloody TARDIS doors". They had reached the end of the long run and were approaching the TARDIS at great speed.
"Oh, right yes" The Doctor snapped his fingers and the doors opened wide, allowing only him and River in, as they shut immediately after.
The Doctor went straight to the TARDIS consol, pressing many buttons but all in the wrong order. Eventually they landed in 21st century earth, after a very bumpy ride. The Doctor suddenly realised that River hadn't help him fly the TARDIS at all. She was still standing just inside the door, looking very pale.
"River?" The Doctor was worried. That's new.
"No, I'm fine. I just feel a bit…" River ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.
"Um, River. River, you are not ok. What's wrong?" The Doctor had followed her and reached the bathroom as she was wiping her mouth.
"I'm fine, really. It's probably the pear. Don't worry about me, I will be fine. I just need some rest." River replied, not really feeling fine at all. But The Doctor believed her.
"Told you pears were evil." He pulled his I-told-you-so face. Just what River needed, an over-confident husband.
"Just leave me be and park somewhere other than Midnight, sweetie." She replied, walking into their bedroom and climbing into the bed.
"But I parked in 21st century earth?" He questioned.
"No you didn't sweetie, you just forgot to pull the rappel lever." She settled under the covers and he strode off to repark the TARDIS.