After my beating heart had calmed down, I realised the situation. Did I really just do that? Did I just fuck myself to the thoughts of Lexa? Did I really just fuck myself infront of Lexa? I could feel myself start to panic, my heart dropped. Have I just ruined years of friendship for a quick fuck? Did I want a quick fuck from Lexa? Did I want more? I never thought it through. After all that flirting, the banter, the teasing, I thought she wanted me too. But she ran out. I was a gift laying open for her, and she chose not to have me. Was I wrong all those times? Did I just imagine her flirting with me, acting like she wanted me? I needed to get out of my bedroom, the musky smell of sex was starting to haunt me.

I grab my clothes and a fresh towel and run into the bathroom. Dumping all the grabbed items on the floor, I jump into the shower and attempt to wash to shame off me, contemplating my next moves. I need to see her, I need to apologise. But before I do anything, I need to figure out what my intentions are with her. She means too much for me to lose her.

Knowing my next move, I turn off the hot water and wrap a towel around myself. My mind automatically casts back to the last time I was wearing a towel like this, infront of Lexa. No, I shake my head of the thoughts, don't go there Clarke.

Wiping the condensation for my bathroom mirror, I pick up my eye liner and draw a vertical line down the middle, diving it into two sections. I write 'Pro' and one side and 'Con' on the other.

After half an hour of writing, I step back and look at my creation. 'Pro' was winning by a mile. I start to smile at that, the list was full of silly things that I found myself writing down just to ensure that it was longer than the other. Silly things, but by no means less important.

7. I love her mother,

That's true, she always calls me the daughter she never had. I was never too sure whether that was a dig at Lexa, her just teasing me, or the truth. Either way, Lexa usually rolls her eyes at her mother but throws me a sly smile.

13. She makes me feel special.

I find myself recalling all the times we baked together, watched TV together, went to the park together, the laughing and joking. I was so comfortable around her, frequently thinking that I wanted a relationship that rivalled Lexa's and mine. Come to think of it, I compared my friendship with Lexa to a relationship quite a few times. Wishing that my boyfriend would take me out for meals like she did, that he paid for cinema tickets like she did, that he treated me like she did general.

How did I miss all this? She was always there when I needed her. Even when I didn't need her, she knew what to do. We often joked that she was a better version of me, but what if she was just simply the best for me?

It became clearer. I didn't want a quick fuck. I wanted everything with her. I want everything with her.

With my new found energy, I felt myself getting excited. In was going to do this. I was going to go over there and tell her how I feel. I ran to the bedroom and put on my favourite outfit, a pair a skinny jeans, they made my arse look amazing, and a simple vest top. I ran downstairs, picked up my red leather jacket and car keys and ran down my drive to my old, beat up, but reliable Ford.

Speeding down the roads, I could feel myself growing nervous, I had never chased after anyone before, always the chasee never the chaser. But this is different, this is Lexa. I came to the conclusion that it was good nerves, it couldn't be anything else with Lexa.

Pulling into her driveway, I jump out and run up to her front door. Before I got a chance to knock, her mum opened the door to me,

"Clarke! Thank goodness you're here! Lexa came back, mumbling something about being unbelievably hot and unfairly hot I think were the words she used and locked herself in her room. The last time she did that was when she first discovered masturbating. I tell you what, her dad and I never had so many cinema and restaurant dates during those first couple of weeks."

I was shocked to say the least, a little bit intrigued and a whole lot of turned on. I couldn't help but imagine Lexa touching herself. Internally chastising myself for thinking of these things, I simply nodded and excused myself.

Finding myself outside Lexa's room, the nerves were making themselves present again. Pushing them aside, I open her door, gasping at what I see. Lexa, with a towel in her hand, drying off her wet hair, evident that she's just got out the shower, naked. A drop of water fell from her hair and landed on her right breast, I couldn't help but watch as I fell even further down the curve, past the very rigid nipple, along the contours of her toned stomach and finally in between her very noticeable hip bones. I finally divert my eyes before I blatantly stare at the freshly shaven patch between her legs. Looking back at her eyes, she hasn't moved a muscle.

I've seen her naked before, but never like this, never like an object of desire. Feeling like I've objectified her enough, I look away, finding myself staring at an old picture of the two of is from years ago, we look so young, so care free, how I envy those days. Thinking that, I wouldn't trade what I have now, a very naked Lexa, for anything in the world.

We've been standing in silence for too long.

"Hi" I start the conversation.

As soon as she hears my voice, she kicks herself into gears, grabbing her duvet cover and pulling it infront of herself.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you, I had to see you." I thought that bit was obvious.

Her face contorted, "well don't you think you've seen enough?"

She snapped. "Is this some sort of pay back? I walk in on you during a private moment, so you felt the need to return the favour? Is that it? Well congratulations, you've humiliated me enough!"

I couldn't understand why she was doing this, a moment ago I was on cloud nine, a moment ago I had a whole speech prepared, a moment ago I was ready to admit something to her that I'm not too sure I can admit to myself just yet. But obviously I was alone in my happiness.

"It.. It's not like that I swear! I needed to see you! NOT like see you naked, but.. But.. I just needed to see you Lex. Please don't shout at me, I can't stand you being angry at me right now."

I can tell that got through to her, "I'm.. I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting to see you just yet. Can I put clothes on at least? I'm not sure I can handle being naked around you just yet, especially after what I walked in on before. Speaking of which, did I really walk in on what I think I walked in on? Or is it my imagination, playing cruel tricks on me?"

I had to laugh at that, "I can assure you, that yes, you did walk in on me fucking myself. Yes, you did walk in on me fucking myself to thoughts of you. Your imagination isn't cruel, it's just my imagination that likes you an awful lot."

I can tell she wasn't expecting me to be as candid and blunt as that. "So, erm, does that mean its just your imagination that likes me? Or..."

I cut in, "oh definitely or.." Finishing with a smile on my face.

Lexa let's out a breath at that, "does that mean what I think it means?"

My smile grows at that, "it means, that I'm tired of the flirting and the teasing, if its not followed up by more. It means that after years of the best friendship I could imagine, it's not enough anymore. It means, that I've turned into a sappy chick flick where the guy was there all along, except it was you, you were there all along."

Lexa's smile spreads from ear to ear and she ducks her head in embarrassment, "so what happens now?"

I laugh at her bashfulness, "well, it means I'm about 10 seconds away from running out that door if you don't say you like me back?"

Before I can see her reaction, she's striding across the floor and standing infront of me, "you say that like a question, but there's no question for me. How can it not be you? It's always you, it's always been you."

My heart skips a beat at that, she's always had a way with words. "Well I'm glad this isn't unrequited, that would be awkward." She lets out a quiet laugh, her breath ghosting across my face. I can feel time slowing down, I watch as her eyes leave mine and travel down my face and onto my lips. Her eyes grow impossibly darker as I watch her contemplate her next move. I can tell what's coming, and i can only watch as it happens.

Her eyes glance up at mine, asking for permission.

I grant it the best way I can think of. Smiling, I inch closer to her, "do it."

Without a seconds hesitation, she jumps forwards and finally connects our waiting lips.

Like a switch, all of our pent up frustrations and years of teasing and torment finally are released in this moment, the duelling of our tongues, the mixing of our breaths. It's better than I ever could have imagined.

"Wait, wait a minute." Was that me? Sure sounded like me, why would I possibly stop the best kiss of my life? Lexa looks incredulously at me, and its then that I realise why I stopped, "oh god you're still naked."

A sly smile appears across her face, "indeed i am Clarke." She takes my hand and places it on her collar bone, looks back at me, eyes dark as the night, and starts trailing my hand down her chest, "so what are you going to do about it?"

I was torn, on one hand, the hand that was touching her, I really wanted to be touching her. I wanted to move my hand further down, trace over every contour that I saw earlier. But on the other hand, I didn't want it to happen like this.

As my hand glided lower and lower, I couldn't help but watch it go. I felt my breath catch in my throat as she gently dragged two of my fingers found her stiff nipple. She carried on going, and I carried on watching.

"Well?" Her voice broke the silence, I momentarily glanced up at her eyes, but my hand distracted me as I felt the dip of her hip bones beneath my finger tips.

I pull my hand away before she takes it any further and look back at her one last time. The seconds ticking away slowly. Nothing is said, and the only thing heard is our heavy breaths, panting in the short distance between us.

"Fuck it." I lunge forward and connect our lips again. Lexa lets out a moan and I feel the effects of it instantly in between my thighs. She teases me lips with the tip of her tongue and I gasp at the new sensation. She takes this as an invitation and plunges her tongue further. Duelling tongues start again, competing for dominance, but I let her win. I'll always let her win if this is the result. I start to push her backwards towards the bed, but she takes my hands and takes the lead, pulling me into to, pulling me towards the bed. My hearts beating erratically in my chest and may mind wanders with the possibilities of what's going to happen next. As if she can sense my nerves, she pulls me towards her again and smiles, "is just me and you Clarke, we don't have to do anything you're not ready for."

It was all I needed, I grinned back at her, "don't you worry about me Lex." Grabbing her shoulders, I push her down so she's sat on the bed and throw my legs over her. "Just let me do the work, for now."

I hear her breath hitch, "okay."

Bringing my face down to her level, "good." I ghost my lips gently over hers, just to tease her a little bit, before moving to her right ear, "because what you saw me do to myself earlier on? It's not even a taster of what I'm going to do to you." I finish off by gently biting down on her pulse point on her neck, and soothing it with a kiss.

"Oh god Clarke, please do something" I smiled at this.

"You're not above begging? Well, I will have to remember that."

I feel Lexa's thighs clench underneath me, trying to get some pressure between her legs. I lean myself against her, successfully pushing her down on the bed. I grab both of her wrists and hold then above her head, "don't move them until I say you can." She looks at me, nods her head and grabs onto the pillow above her. I lean on my left side so I have the use of my right hand, and gently place kisses all along her neck. I hear her letting out moans at every kiss and I can't help but smile at the effect I'm having on her.

I throw my leg over her and feel her legs part in return. My clit jumps at her response and once again, I'm reminded of just how wet and ready I am for her.

With my right hand, I go back to the first place I touched her naked body, her prominent collar bone, and start caressing once again. I can't decide whether to look at her face or her chest, after glancing up and seeing her looking at me with such love, I realise too much time has past since we last kissed. I move my hand upwards and grab the back of her neck, pulling her towards me. My lips open automatically and I take her bottom lip between mine, listening to her moan my name, feeling it vibrate against my lips. I swipe my tongue along her bottom lip and this time feel her lips part, waiting for more. I start to move my hand down her body again and grasp her breast, feeling her nipple harden in the palm of my hand. I take it between my fingers and squeeze, "oh." I grin at her reaction and do it again, twisting a little bit harder this time, "fuck!"

"Does someone like it rough?" Lexa whines and I know the answer immediately. I remove my lips from hers and move my body down, kissing every inch of space as I go. I get to her other nipple and enclose it in my mouth, biting down and sucking gently. I simultaneously pinch the other nipple that's waiting in my hand.

"For someone who's never done this before, you sure know what you're doing" I can't help but laugh at this.

"Well, you sure do like to over share in your experiences, so I can remember where your turn ons are." At this, I move my lips to her rib cage and kiss her, "places like here." I move even lower and take her hip bones between my teeth, "and here." My right hand moves in between her legs and I slightly scratch my nails up the insides of her thighs, watching her shudder as I go, "and here." I finally take my index finger and swipe in between her folds, "and most certainly here." I finish off by flicking the tip of my finger over her clit and watch her hips jerk up, trying to get more pressure.

"Please Clarke, I don't know how much more I can take." I smile again. I start circling her clit, carefully teasing her, but not quite touching her. But then it hits me, I've never done this before, Lexa has, quite a few times, what if I'm not good enough? What if I can't give her an orgasm? What if.. "Stop thinking. It's just you and me here Clarke, and trust me, it isn't going to take much." I was interrupted, and like always, she knew what to say and when to say it. I stop panicking and realise that she's right, it's just me and her.

I stop looking intently at my own fingers and look back at her, watching her reactions as I slide two fingers into her wet and waiting hole. Her jaw drops open as she releases a guttural groan, her eyes close and her hands grip down on the pillow still above her head.

"Oh my," its softer, wetter than i imagined, it feels so similar, but so different. I look back at my fingers, watching them disappear inside her again. "Jesus, Clarke." I feel a boost of confidence and start to go harder, her hips rock back and forth, meeting my fingers in the middle. Shes moaning and biting her lips, but I want more. I think about what i do to myself, how I like to be touched, how I like to be fucked, and a smile appears on my face, she wont know what hit her.

I remove my fingers from her, grab her legs and pull her closer to me. "You're going to do as I say and follow my instructions, understood?" I see her look at me, confused as to why I stopped, but turned on to the max with my words, she nods. "Good, now, get on your hands and knees like a good girl." Before I even finish, shes scrambling to turn over, legs are flying everywhere. In a different situation I would have found it funny how desperate shes acting, but right now, her eagerness is turning me on even more.

Loving the control I have, I position myself behind her, I rub my hands up and down her back, and smile to myself again, I know exactly what to do next.

I move my right hand down to the apex of her thighs and plunge my index and middle finger back inside her. At the surprise, she drops down and buries her head in a pillow, letting out a squeal.

With my left hand I reach forward, grab a fist full of her hair and pull her back up so shes on her hands again. I tug her hair, she turns her head around and looks at me.

Fuck.

I have seen Lexa in many different situations, pulling many different faces, but this, this is my new favourite. Her eyebrows are creased together, her mouth is dropped open, and her eyes are looking at me as if to say, 'how are you doing this to me?'

It takes me by surprise and my fingers slide out of her, she panics, so do I for a minute, I need to make this up to her and keep her on edge still. I add my ring finger to the mix. Hoping this is okay, i push back inside and am instantly rewarded. Her eyes roll back, cross eyed as they go. Her mouth drops open in what seems to be a silent scream. It looks like a good time to start going faster, so I do. Three fingers are pounding away, I let go of her hair and grab her ass, she buries her face in the pillow again and lets out a guttural moan. I let her off this time, I'm far too invested now to stop.

I move my left hand and pull apart her ass cheeks, originally to get a better view of my fingers, but as soon as I see her other puckered hole my clit twitches. I need to have a play, and from the stories that Lexa has told me, she would not object.

I take my index finger on my left hand and trace over the hole. "Oh god yes please Clarke, fuck". I take this as my queue and push inside gently, yet again, I'm rewarded by a moan. Loving the power I have over her, I push my finger further inside. Her pussy starts to clench, I know this bit, that means shes incredibly close, now I just need to finish her off.

"You wanna cum baby?" I ask her, she replies with a moan which I can only assume means 'yes'.

I curl my fingers down and find her spongy spot, I know how much i like it, so I can only assume it will be good for her too.

And judging by her reaction, she likes it a lot. Her ass lifts up, her legs start to get restless and she cant keep still. Fuck, the sounds shes producing are making my so wet I can feel it dripping through my panties. "Clarke, Clarke, I'm gonna cum, you should stop, fuck you should", that confuses me, stop? There's no way in hell I'm gonna be stopping, I pound harder, and I can feel her straining to hold back her orgasm, I need to try something different, for some reason shes stopping herself.

I remove my fingers, flip her over so shes lying on the bed and dive back into her pussy. Her back arches, her hands go flying to cover her face, her legs fly up and before I know it, I'm hit in the face by something wet and cold. Oh lord shes squirted. Shes a squirter, and she never told me. Another splash knocks me out of my thoughts, shes screaming now, I look down, my fingers are still pounding, her arms are trying to find purchase on something, anything, her legs bend up and press against her chest. "Fuuuuuuuuck", I never knew she would be this loud, her pussy is clenching again, is she cumming again? "OH MY GOD WH... CLARKE!" I'll take that as a yes. Her back arches again, her heads thrown back, her mouth is dropped open in yet another silent scream. The only thing moving are my fingers inside of her. 5 seconds pass and I'm close to stopping, thinking I'm doing something wrong, when all of a sudden she sits up, pulls me close and bites my neck, screaming into me. It hurts a bit, but not too much to stop.

When i feel her go limp against myself, i finally stop my fingers and pull them out, fuck my arm is sore. Lexa is still leant against me, I chuckle to myself, I can feel her breath down my back sending goosebumps all over my body. I lean back to get a clearer look at her face. Wearing her eyes closed and a content smile, she sighs and lets out a gentle "bloody hell woman, next time, give me some warning."

She collapses and it gives me a chance to shamelessly gaze over her glorious structure. How each curve leads softly into a new sight, how everything about her looks so effortlessly made. At this stage, I don't know if I want her body, or if I want her body on top of me, either way, I know I will be perfectly happy.

She notices me staring at her, "take a picture, it might last longer." I look up at her, "Oh please, I'm no John, we both know what happens when one takes an 'I've just been fucked' picture." She sits up and looks at me, "Clarke, please for the love of god, never talk about your ex's fucking you whilst being in bed with me."

I look at with apologetic eyes, "I'm sorry baby, how can I ever make it up to you?" She raises her eyebrows at me disbelievingly, "woman, if I'm going to have a repeat of that, I need at least another 2 more minutes rest, I cant fathom how shy old you can pull that out of the hat, seriously girl, where the hell did that come from?" I laugh at that, "it couldn't have been that good baby, I just know what I like, so I thought id try it all on you", "well heck babe, you try away if that's what I get in return!"

I shuffle to get more comfy, which is when i realise just how turned on I am, the proof pooling between my legs, I need a release. I push her slowly down onto the bed, take off my panties, and straddle her torso. "Don't worry, you can rest up for the next part, I'll do all the work."

I stare down at her, biting my lip, I cheekily wink at her. I sit up and move up her body, her eyes open wide, she knows exactly where I'm going, and exactly what I'm going to be doing.

I move quickly before I lose my nerve. With my legs places on either side of her head, I start to lower myself. I look down and see her staring keenly at my wetness.

"You wanna taste, baby?" She nods feverously, "beg."

She snaps her eyes up to meet mine, and can see that I'm not kidding, I'm in dire need of this release, and I want it my way. She looks back down at me, "can you see my clit throbbing for you baby? Can you see my juices flowing down my legs? Can you see me ache for you? All this could be yours baby, just say the word and you can get it." She sticks her tongue out and trails it along her lower lip, I can see her trying to not give in, she knows that she has as much power as I do hear, yet I'm the only one brave enough to voice it.

With one last glance to my face to see if I've changed my mind, she knows straight away I haven't, she caves.

"Please Clarke, please let me taste you," good enough for me.

I reach down, spread my lips apart and place my clit directly on top of her mouth, "then taste away baby, don't disappoint me."

Her tongue comes out again, this time its trailing along my lips. She starts and the source of my wetness, dips inside my slowly and drags my juices up to my clit, I can already tell I'm in a for fun ride.

My head lolls back and a sigh escapes my lips, she encloses her lips around my swollen bud and starts sucking. That wakes me up, I look down at her and can tell instantly that the roles have been reversed. Lexa, the girl who's been my best friend since the dawn of man, the girl who's a self confessed ladies woman, the girl who turns out is in love with me, and I am in love with in return, the girl who's between my legs, sucking on my nerves like its her last meal, is now in charge.

I lose my balance and collapse forward, I grab the headboard for support, my hips start to grind, begging for more, she knows what I need. The next thing I can feel is two fingers sliding around my entrance. Shes coating them in my juices, lubing them up, preparing them for entry, although we both know such measures are not needed, I can tell how wet I am, how open I am, how ready I am, it will be my turn to beg if she doesn't hurry.

Before I barely finish my thought, those two wet fingers are now at my entrance, my next grind back will be swallowing them up, and I cant wait. I push my hips back, in my willingness my clit slips from her mouth, but I'm rewarded by her two fingers sliding deep inside me. "Fuuuuuuck", I whimper. She curls them without delay and goes back to devouring my swollen bundle of nerves. "I'm not going to last long baby", she seems to take that as a queue to speed up, and who am I to tell her not to? Every gyrate backwards moves her fingers to my sweet spot, and every gyrate forward pushes my clit further into her mouth. I can feel myself getting closer to the edge. I remove one of my hands from the headboard and place it on my breast, grabbing and squeezing without a seconds hesitation, my nipple being rolled around by the palm of my hand. With one final squeeze I let myself go. Proclaiming my enjoyment through various sounds and squeals, shutting the world out and simply appreciating the moment. My first Lexa induced, through actual touching, orgasm. And boy, was it a good one.

I can still feel her fingers moving gently inside of me. I reach down and remove those magical fingers, which I'm almost certain to be in love with, and bring them up to my mouth, one by one I clean the juices off her fingers, making sure she can see and feel my tongue swirling around the treasured digit. Her mouth drops open, "so sexy..", I look at her slyly, drop her hand and shuffle back to a more comfortable position.

When we're finally face to face, I begin to realise my actions, and find myself to be increasingly embarrassed, "say something", I plead.

I think she can tell how nervous I am, I'm guessing that hiding my face can give that away to someone who's spend years knowing me better than I know myself.

A small smile creeps across her face, "so you like me?" Her eyebrows raise, waiting for the answer. I lift my head from the crease of her neck and look at her, taking in the view. Wanting to save this moment, I look back to her eyes, "I love you."

She freezes for a moment, feeling like the longest moment of my life, waiting for her reply. Her smile widens, looking like all of her birthdays and Christmas's have come at once. "Really?" I couldn't help but laugh at her excited face, "yes baby, I love you." She sits up, forcing me on my back and straddles me this time, "say that again."

"I love you Lexa." Her grin widens, "I love you too!"