A Lesson in Leaving
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Gina Cowell Castle Cowell played a huge role in the lives of Caskett, but who is she, what do we know about her, was she really wicked, or just not on the same page with Rick for marriage? We'll add our take on a character that was central to our couple. TOTALLY AU. NOTE: AU not canon If you don't know the difference, then don't comment about what I left out of the story you saw on TV.
I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only
Chapter 4
Previously
"Rick, I'm being honest with you, Kyra loved you, she told me so, yet she let her mother control the destination of her career and send her as far away from you as possible. We talked every day for the last weeks I was in Paris, and then once I returned, we started out talking but as most long-distance friendships, it fizzled out, I haven't heard from her in almost three months.
I never dreamed that I would be your editor one day, and when you walked into the office this morning, I thought of all the good things that were said about you, you were every bit and more how she described you. I NEVER would hold any information like this from you, and I expect now that you'll want to go back to the professional writer/editor*"
Castle's Loft
5 Months Later
Gina and Rick fell into a comfortable relationship when he visited the offices, but it was sheer HEAT when they were home, one or the other would start innocently, and before they knew it, it was on, full mind blowing sex for hours at a time. It was after one of these sessions Rick asked a question that seemed a bit strange to Gina, off the wall totally out of the blue but she answered him truthfully, perhaps too much truth.
"Gina, have you ever thought about kids, I mean having children, I know you have a huge career, but has the thought ever crossed your mind?"
"Only in nightmares, we have everything going for us right now, why would I want kids, I mean we are together, but we aren't married, I mean I care about you a lot, hell I think I love you but this is a topic we haven't discussed before, any reason to bring it up now Sweetie?"
"Well, I was just thinking, I mean I would love to leave part of me behind once I'm gone, something other than Derrick and his buddies, you know? I know we fit together well, and God the sex, I have never had it better, so I guess I'm just thinking out loud, never mind me"
"No Rick, please don't withdraw, it had to be important to you, or you wouldn't have brought it up. Are you ready for kids, for marriage, the whole nine yards?"
"Truthfully? I've been ready, I know it sounds stupid, but I've been investing to a point where I really won't have to worry now, we have the three best sellers and a few more in the series still planned, so when if not now, I mean what's holding us back? I love you, and I know you love me, and I know you'd be a great Mom."
Gina slides over to face him taking both his hands in hers, "this is a huge step Rick, it's broke a lot of couples, are you sure we are strong enough as a couple to face this, good or bad? What if it drives us further apart, rather than pulling us closer, I don't know how I could get by losing you and perhaps a child if this doesn't work, it's a big gamble with our lives"
"Do you really think it could break us Gina, I mean it's a baby all that's right with this world, I mean I understand if you don't wan*"
"Rick, it's not that I don't want, it's I can't carry them full term, Mike and I got pregnant while I was in college, and we lost it. The specialists told me I would never be able to carry children to birth, so I had surgery to prevent it, I'm sorry Rick I never told you," as she burst into tears.
Rick slid her into his lap and just held her, kissing her gently on her forehead, "I'm sorry, I'm such an Ass, I should never have brought this up, I've hurt you, the last thing I wanted to do."
"Rick, there was no way you would know, if you want to try, so do I, BUT I want to be married before the baby is born, that is a big thing for me, OK?"
"Marriage, hell I would marry you in a parking lot, the sooner the better, but how are we going to try for kids when you had surgery?"
"The MAYO Clinic has had great success in reversing the procedure I had, and also monitoring difficult pregnancies, so it would mean surgery, soon, then marriage, then the part that you will find the hardest,"
Rick has a look on his face like What the Hell?
"What part will I not like Gina, I mean I don't like you having surgery, but what could be worse?"
"Well once I am healed about 3 weeks, you will have to be willing to" then she pauses
"Willing to do what Gina, you're killing me"
"Become my sex slave and service me multiple times a day especially when my temperature spikes and the eggs are dropping, I know it's tough Rick, but that's the deal"
His face is empty as he takes this all in, then he grabs her as she giggles, and they get a dress rehearsal for things to come in making an heir.
Castle's Loft
Two Weeks Later
Rick had a surprise for Gina when she came home from Black Pawn, the loft was dark, except for a candle, a single rose, and a note, asking her to come to the roof. He had dinner catered from LeCerc Restaurant, and upon it's completion, he dropped to one knee and proposed to Gina, who tearfully accepted.
They decided to make it official in a civil ceremony that week and begin preparation for Gina to have the required medical procedures coming up the following week at the Mayo Clinic. That didn't stop Gina from shopping for a beautiful wedding dress, actually two, one very simple for the civil procedure, and a fancy one for the wedding they had just began to plan.
Mayo Clinic
New York, One Week Later,
Gina is laying in a hospital bed calm and collected, Rick is going crazy pacing around the room, Martha is trying to calm her son down, as well as Gina's sister Patti, but nothing was working.
"Let me have a few minutes with him alone please," Gina asked.
"Rick, I'm going to be fine, if all goes well, I'll be discharged tonight or tomorrow and be home before you know it, honestly I'll be fine" as she draws him in for a reassuring kiss.
"Yes, and you're doing this to make me happy, I should have just kept my mouth shut, I will never forgive myself if something happens to you, you know I love you don't you?"
"Sweetie, I love you too, everything is going to be fine, by the time our formal wedding is over, I'll be through with all the treatments, then you'll be my sex slave, what a tough job" she giggles, if she was nervous she wasn't letting her new husband know.
Castle's Loft
2 weeks Later
Gina had been right, the surgery went almost as expected, although the doctors did detect some scarring in one of the fallopian tubes, which they corrected as much as possible, the worst impact, it would reduce the number of eggs available to be fertilized each month.
She loved the fact that Rick never left her side, had hired not one but three private nurses to be with her around the clock, and a housekeeper to do all the housework chores. He was a fantastic cook and had made meals ahead of time all she needed to do was select what she wanted, and microwave for 1-2 minutes, on the days he would even let her do that. She never knew just how sweet a man he was till this, and she fell deeper in love with him each day. He was the model husband that all other husbands should be held to his standard.
The wedding planning took up most of her day, and it became bigger than either wanted originally, but what the heck, they were already married, secretly, so treat it like a big party. Exactly three weeks later Rick and Gina exchanged vows, again, to the delight of their friends, and the dismay of all the single women on New York's Most Eligible Bachelorettes. A jet set honeymoon followed and then they were home two weeks later.
Castle's Loft
6 months Later
Gina had taken the pregnancy test three times to be sure, she couldn't wait to tell Rick, this would be the happiest day of his life, then she felt cramping, and went screaming into the bathroom, Rick knelt and held her hand as they called the doctor and described what had occurred, their worst fears confirmed, she had mis-carried.
The next day she went by private ambulance to have an outpatient DNC ( Dialation and Curattage. ) at the Mayo Clinic. Sadly, this was repeated 4 times over the next two years till the specialist scheduled an appointment for Rick and Gina together.
Mayo Clinic
7 Months Later
Rick and Gina were meeting with the last specialist, God how many had there been already, far too many. Their love making had went from passion unleashed to that of punching a timeclock and doing a job, no emotions, just get it done. This had impacted the marriage far more than either knew, the working arrangement was fine, but once they were home there was nothing left.
A knock on the door, and a middle age man with a short beard and medium long hair, hold off from the hippie stage, entered.
"Gina, Rick, I'm Doctor Jon Dunne, and I'm here to talk to you about our next steps." Gina had been drug through the mill, and her nerves, and run-down condition of her physical body was weighing heavily on both Rick and she as they looked at each other.
"Doctor, enough, there are no next steps, my wife has been through hell and back 5 times hoping and praying, but it looks like the first doctor was right, we aren't meant to have children. I can't put her through this anymore, as he caressed her head, and she held his other free hand.
"Mrs. Castle, is this how you feel?" Dr. Dunne asked,
"Doctor you have no idea of the stress this has put on our relationship, our physical intimacy, and our love for each other, so yes I agree, enough, I failed Rick, and we'll deal with that in the privacy of our home. No More treatments, in fact reverse the tubal litigation as soon as possible, I can't put Rick through, or survive another miscarriage,
Mayo Clinic
2 Days Later,
Rick is with Gina again, except this time, it's not to bring hope, it's the closure of a very tough chapter for them both, the last 2 ½ years had tested patience, love, and determination of them both, but by now they were both ready for it to be over.
Gina went through the surgery fine, insuring no future pregnancies could occur, it seemed like almost a death had occurred as they were transported home, once again Rick going overboard with her care.
"Rick, I have to get back to my normal life, and Sweetie as much as I appreciate all the help, let's start phasing them out as I regain my strength, OK?"
"I know Gina, I just want you back to your full strength, this is all my fault," as a tear comes to his eye, "You warned me how tough this could be, but did I listen, No, that would never happen to us, but I know the last 30 months have not been the type of marriage you wanted, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," as he lays his head in her lap and weeps.
"Rick, you had no way of knowing, hey, we can say we tried, right, I mean we both tried, and we're still together right, I still love you no matter what"
"I love you too, but I know our marriage took some hits, and that's on me, I'll fix this Sweetie, I promise I will. I will make you happy again."
Rick, I am happy, I'm just exhausted, disappointed, and so hurt I can't give you what you want, that probably hurts more than any physical pain I've gone through, let's just take it slow again for a while," as tears pour out of her eyes, no matter what Rick did, this was a cleansing cry needed to allow Gina to grieve for those little souls that never had a chance, and maybe just a little for her and Rick.
TBC