This is a gift-fic for my lovely friend Manu. Words can't bring you down, so keep it up and be strong, girl. I love you and I'll always be by your side.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto. Song by Plain White Ts – A lonely September.

Warning: yaoi, prostitution, trans!Sasuke, implied drugs, alcohol.

A lonely September

Sasuke's point of view

April 10th

The morning is warm with a cool breeze as I hop into a stranger's car. A man in his forties, well built and wealthy judging by his car and suit; married.

He doesn't talk much as he drives me far from the city to a small hotel no one should know him. There he takes off his watch and his wallet, pulls me to him to touch my body.

He touches me every where and in turn I moan my false pleasure. The man kisses me, pitifully breathing out lust and denied pleasure. Pressing me against the wall, he delves into my mouth like a lover, frustration spilling from his throat in grunts and groans as he humps me.

He's desperate and fast, dropping to his knees as he undresses me of the few clothes I wear. The man pleasures himself as he sucks me, moaning around my member like a starving man.

It's not I'm not used to receive pleasure, but it's just this: pitiful man seeking the comfort of men they couldn't have, disguised in women they hate, giving the pleasure they crave for.

This man is no different, so it's not a surprise when he starts crying as soon as he lies above me on bed. He cries and spills his life for me, frustrated with his wife, guilty for his children, coward for himself. I comfort him the only way I know, wrapping my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist, loud moans and sweat bodies.

I see him staring at his ring, becoming more and more aggressive, thrusting into me yet begging to be fucked. The man resists at first when I try to turn him over, but soon he gives in, losing himself in the feeling of my dick buried inside of him.

He pays me and goes back to his miserable life, to his wife and his children, to his job and his friends, pretending. As for me, I go back to the street, looking for another client so I can continue existing.

Walking on the sidewalk, listening to honks and offenses, a sound enters my ear louder than the others. "Sasuke!"

I uselessly ignore the noise and the steps after my hushed ones. Insistent and annoying, a hand grips my arm, an always warm smile mocks me.

"What?!" I yell. The smile falters, blue eyes water; his breath smells like alcohol, making me frown. "What are you doing here?"

"She's gone." He tells me, hugging me tight against his chest, ridiculous. "What am I gonna do?" Tearful voice, strong and emotional, echoing through me, his stupidly beautiful features distorted in a sad grimace.

My hand pulls his and I drag him inside a bus, silently going back to the small room close to nowhere I leave my few belongings. It takes almost an hour and he hasn't spoken anymore, but his hands are trembling and I can hear him sniffling eventually.

We lay on the old and thin mattress I have on the floor, my fingers running through blond hair as Naruto cries on my chest. It reminds me of Christmas, so bittersweet.

"I'm so glad and thankful you showed up on Christmas", he confesses to me. "Now you're my friend, Sasuke."

I snort at him "You are a drunk idiot, you know that?"

He laughs and nods, "I didn't want to see anyone today. I came to this part of the city in hopes to drink myself asleep and I don't know why I followed you and now we're here." He feels the need to explain, slurred and confusing.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" I hope I'm wrong but there are only a few conclusions you can take when someone is gone.

"I knew it wo-uld happen. We ta-talked and planned and I pre-pared myself to be o-kay when it came to it, but I c-can't." He cries and mumbles to himself. "I'm scum, Sasuke. I'm selfish and stupid and, and I lo-love her. Why did I l-let her go?!" Naruto yells angry. "WHY?!"

"You're not making any sense to me, moron." I tell him softly, wiping the tears on his cheeks with my fingers.

The blond takes a deep breath to calm down, swallowing more tears he refuses to shed. "Sakura moved abroad for her research and we broke up."

So it's this. "I see."

"I'm sorry. This is such a ridiculous thing especially for you. Fuck, I'm an asshole." He tries to laugh it off but it's painful to watch.

"This is not ridiculous." I lie through my teeth, wishing I could trade this little heartbreak with all the pain I went through. "You're hurt now so it's fine."

He cries his eyes out until there are no more tears.

…

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"Can I tell you my story?" He asks me hesitant, blue eyes shining and red.

"I'd like that."

He tells me a story about an orphan boy adopted by a nice couple, who sexually abused the four-year-old child. They were caught and the boy went back to the orphanage and again was he adopted, by a lonely whore this time.

She was kind to the seven-year-old kid, but then she left him behind, drinking herself to death in a harsh winter day. Rebellious and mischievous, the child had many different homes. He lost his hope and dreams, believing there was no love for him.

"Then I met my dad, not my biological father, but the person who became my dad." He says with a longing sigh. "I was 12, just a brat with an attitude, but I thought I knew about everything. Back then I decided I'd live on my own, that I was going to be the best drug dealer in town." He snorts at that, shaking his head at his naïveté. "And the scariest thing for me back then was the promise of a bright future, because, you see, Kakashi was a psychiatrist and I was nothing. I thought of running away and going to the streets so many times..." Naruto laughs. "Staying was the scariest and hardest thing I have ever done."

The beautiful and exhausted face of this man falls, tears running down his cheeks as he sobs on my lap, choking on his sadness.

"I was the second child of a wealthy family." I say just above a whisper, dropping my head to the wall behind me. "Mother was a lawyer, father had some big business, and my brother was... I... Itachi was my biggest hero."

"You don't have to tell me."

"Just listen, moron." My bitterness becomes almost affectionate with him. "I wanted to be an artist or a photographer when I was small, and they supported me with expensive canvas and cameras, all the colors one could have." I feel my eyes watering but my lips still move. "They tried their best to be present in my life, but they were so busy sometimes… except for Itachi. My brother always had time for me."

So many memories I didn't permit myself to remember and now they resurface, squeezing my throat, tightening my chest.

"I was 16 when they died in a car accident. There was nothing left." My brother's body was never found, only fragments. "They were so great to me. They accepted I was gay, they accepted I was different from my brother even if it took time, they did accept me." The ceiling of the room becomes blurred. "When I told my mom maybe I wanted to be a g-girl, she told me she had always wanted a daughter."

I cry.

Strong arms evolves me into a comforting hug, pressing my head to his chest. I feel his warmth, his heart beating, his scent is calming, making me cry my eyes out.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke."

"They must be so ashamed of me now. I don't deserve to be their son. I don't deserve to be alive. I should be the one dead." It pains me like it pained me that day, so deeply I can't breathe.

"Don't say it. You deserve to be happy and to live, Sasuke." His voice cracks with emotion. "I'll make you happy, I'll do anything to make you happy, Sasuke." He promises with sweet lies, pressing a kiss on my forehead.

I see now this is going too far, it became too personal, too intimate. I need to get away from him for his own sake and for the sake of my sanity.

As we cry together, relying on each other for comfort, I know I can't. I can't leave him behind, as much as he threatens my whole being in a mental and emotional way, he's also my anchor to this world and if he's gone, I'll lose myself and drown.