To: All Fanfiction writers
From: Your worst nightmare
I will not sign this. You will not know who I am and I am certainly going to kill you filthy muggles. Oh, you think I'm violent? Well I suppose that's because I'm B'loody Mary, the girl with some serious issues. Seriously though did you know that I was looking through the fics when someone mentioned My Immortal so I looked at it and I read it.
Worst. Fic. EVER!
A dog could write better. For Heaven's sake Ron could write better. Oh, I'm sorry did I insult whichever psycho wrote My Immortal. Why don't you go and cry in your coffin.
Now then onto worse things, my boyfriend *note the sarcasm* Draco Malfoy. Now I understand that some of you don't understand English. So I will explain this in other ways.
JE NE VAIS PAS SORTIR AVEC DRACO MALFOY!
ICH WERDE NICHT GEHEN MIT DRACO MALFOY!
NO VOY A SALIR CON DRACO MALFOY!
I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH DRACO MALFOY
Are you insane? What on EARTH were you thinking? I'm more likely to see blue cow.
And what is it with me being a bossy know-it-all and a backstabbing b**** who steals money from her friend as most of you so nicely put it.
Now you listen to me. I know my rights. One cannot be married to Ron Weasley or attempt to wade through archaic laws trying (and failing) to give magical creatures right without becoming a fully qualified lawyer. I WILL sue you and trust me when I say Ron is very overprotective and will probably beat the pulp out of you all.
Happy will-writing,
Hermione Granger
A/N I know Hermione's a little OOC but what fun is it writing a letter where she politely tells them to stop. Besides I think she's allowed to be a little vindictive I mean she is being mocked in the worst way possible.