Hello everybody, and welcome to chapter 2 of my wonderful story… Wonderful? It is frankly a miracle you didn't get blamed last time Yes, why deny it, but I have to attract people so that this story becomes popular and so that you get your paycheque at the end of each month, so please don't speak and let me do my job. Whatever. Don't use Amarant's catchphrase. Whatever. Someone is going to get fired, now moving on…Thanks to all of those bored beings who waste their time reviewing (and I've become one of them too) although, really, if you waste your life on this page, you may as well do it properly. You must have obviously noticed that we still have that bas… Tjo, Tjo. Bless you. I notice you haven't caught it. I had, but I was just faking. What an ill-mannered folk, now moving on… that basically wonderful censor by the name of Lilith, despite someone trying hard to kill her… I know it was you, so don't hide it. Then why didn't you call the police. Cos every guy I've censored has tried to kill me. But aren't I your first charge? Precisely. Besides, I've also tried to kill you. Oh, yes, the anvil and the traditional Spanish film, I forgot. My auntie told me it was the best film she'd ever seen, so I knew it would work. Unfortunately, it came in VHS tapes, and I don't have a tape player, only a DVD player, so it didn't work. That was the moment I learnt the meaning of tough luck, and the reason why the aging of technology is a problem, now moving on… Well, by ME trying to kill her by the following methods (and she will explain why I messed up)

Provoking a car accident… He did the wrong car.

Putting rat poison in her coffee… Right in front of me.

Changing her computer's version to Windows 95… I use Apple.

Scaring her to death with a mysterious phone call whilst in a horror movie… I have a caller ID.

Now, after this humiliating session, and with everything important said last chapter, it is time to continue the plotline… Continue? You mean start, don't you? I do, now if you let me move on. Ok, but you admitted it…

Comments to avoid shotgun bullets (forgot to mention all readers have loaded shotguns): I do not mean to insult anybody with my comments, they are just for humour. Like "The Simpsons" or "Family Guy".

Well, that is it. Enjoy the Fanfic… That was lame. And so are you, and I don't complain as much…

Wait a second. You have been joking with my payheck. My question is: What paycheck? Laa, la la la, la la la, la la la. Laaaa, la la la la la la, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. La, la la la, la la la, la la la. Lalalalala, Lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaa, laaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (la la la, La la la, La la la). Laaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaa (la, la, la. La, la, la. La, la, la). Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaa (la la la, la la la, la la la) Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (la la la, la la la, la la la). (Repeat). Ok, I am taking this to court, now, carry on.

Chapter 2: Eidocity

"Great. Another traffic jam" Said Ifrit, hands on the chocobo's neck. He so hated traffic jams. They made him feel sick. All the bumping and the wobbling. As if riding a chocobo wasn't bad enough… Is riding a chocobo bad? I always though it must be a pleasant experience. Well it isn't. A chocobo is sort of like an ostrich, and an ostrich is wobbly, so therefore a chocobo also is. I see what you mean. Great, now if you would stop interrupting me because of stupid reasons, I would be very thankful. Geez. Bad hair day? No. Bad censor. I'll act as if I hadn't heard that, now moving on… But, since public transport was nearly always full, they had to content themselves with chocobo riding, and, therefore, traffic jams. This WAS strange, having into account the population on "Eido City (Totemas included… But Totemas are not summons. Why are they included? Because they are the spirits guarding Ivalice, the same as the Eidolons are spirits guarding their summoners. Because, like Eidolons, they can be used in battle to harm the foes or to benefit the allies. And, like Eidolons, because they are graphically cool and they pwn enemies. Understood? Yes, Mr. Grumpy, Now move on. …)" was estimated in 50 or so. Then again, with only 50 people, there were not many to raise chocobos, build public transport and so on. But there you go. Really, next time Bahamut asked something, his own mother could go do it. Come to think of it, though, he would go again and again, just because he knew who's boss, and it wasn't him… You DO know who's boss here, do you? Of course I do! I am. I'll act as if I hadn't heard that, and I will continue with the story…

Shiva experienced another sort of problem: that her post was being delayed. This was, mainly, because there was a shortage of postmen (or posteidolons, as they called themselves, to set the difference with humanoids…That joke deserved to be destroyed. And so do you, so let us continue with the story…). And, of course, what little posteidolons there where had as orders to send the leaders' (Bahamut, Odin, Diablolos…) post first. It was normal that the system was not a democracy, but this level of inequality was new even for the oldest of the them.. The problems with post bothered her because she suspected the letter certifying she was going to assist to the meeting was lost, and so she would not have a seat, but, instead she would have to stand up during the whole meeting, which, of course, tired her up. "This country is now the shadow of its greatness", she thought, but never dared to say.

Ramuh was s… Please don't. If you ask so politely… stopped from a perfect life by another problem: food prices. He, as one of those Eidolons who weren't made purely out of an element nor had other traits that gave them energy from their surroundings, actually had to eat. He had been flying most of his journey to Bahamut's meeting, so he would arrive too early. Just at that moment, he had began to feel hungry, so he had decided to stop at the nearest Mc'Espers and order a large hamburger with nuggets and something to drink. He hoped to carry enough money with hum. After waiting in queue for a short time, he had got to place his order. However, after seeing the price of everything and seeing he could not afford even a small burger, decided to leave. "Another hungry, hungry day" he thought, "or with only a charged-up salad" He knew that it was the leaders' fault, because they ate without needing too. As a matter of fact, he knew that there was a time in which Bahamut had grown so large a stomach that he had opened another entrance in his palace.., just in time, because the first one was too small for him.

And, at the entrance of the meeting site, was Leader Bahamut, dressed in a gown (he was now thinner by that point) and with a crown on his head. He saw everything without looking, and he heard everything without listening, and constantly behaved like if there was no wrong oh his city… What a jerk! He is, now I am going to end the chapter now, so sorry for interrupting you.

Well, have you liked it? I have tried to use humor to explore issues, but I think I have not done a very good job of it. Anyways, Please R&R… And criticize him! Or her. What have I done to deserve this? Anyways, Goodbye!

Pdt: I think I'm NOT updating in a while. Just not in the mood for humour. Might make something else, though... What a pity! It's always SO much more fun to critisize you when you are in a good mood. Yeah, I know, but hey, that's the way life goes, plus it is my fault. AND I can't do anything to fix it. So there. I'll just let the planet spin, and perhaps in 40 moons with their 40 suns...

Ppdt: Horray, I have written "Without a Goodbye"! I feel hell better, I think it will attract attention to this story, and this gives me more time to think up improvements for this story... Unfortunately, I am not in that story, simply because we are in court at the time. Double Hurray! I am temporarily rid of her! But I'm winning. Oh well. Life can't be perfect.